This IS TRUE. GO FUCK YOURSELF if you're gona be like that
Hullo, my name is Shiska Bobba GaNoosh. More like Jeff. Last week I was at my buddy Osama's house watching some Anne frank porn when me and Binny laden decided to inject gasoline into our jugulars to get high. Osama started to shit out uncontrollably and then started freaking out on the floor like an amputee doing the stanky leg. After a few fortnights of Osama's endocrine system tweeking out, Osama died and I was awarded for single handedly killing Osama. I received ten million dollars from us government and was told by president Barack Hussein Tyler Perry Obama that whatever I wanted at any time I could have. His wife, Mrs. Jemima, gave me a bucket of fried chicken and purple drink and told me to tickle her inners with my pinky. I said "No you cotton picking charcoal baby!, and head butted her into a coma.
I returned to my home town,(not Kenya), and came across Brie. After she cleaned my nut butter off her face we decided to go find kluckers and push him onto his back and watch him struggle to lift the sack of human flubber that is his body off the floor. We walked to the local buffet and found him grazing on sweet and sour caulk. We followed the oversized pillsbury doughboy to the back room and found a panda named phil eating bamboo. But when I say eating bamboo I mean acts of homosexuality in the secrecy of a chinese restaurant. Kluckers started to cry cause I called him a fudge-packing queerbait so me and brie left as we set the building on fire like a Hassidic orphanage.
Brie wanted to go home but i'm a man, and I smell like a man man so I choose to go see mr pizzels. At the corner of Martin Luther king jr blvd and Was-shot-by-my-father lane was a crack whore looking chick. I caterpillared my way over to the hoe and found out her name was Emily. I asked who was her pimp.
"I'm not a pimped out hoe, I don't bang for money," she said in a voice that sounded like she had severe mental retardation. Like helmet retarded,not like walks like a first time anal victim at all times retarded.
"So you sell your slop hole for crack?" I asked even though I could not give two shits what the answer was. What surprised me was that she was not a prostitute but a slut. Instead of banging for money, she did it for the pure love of the sport and the satisfaction of abortion afterwards. Nigger. I walked away from the hoe because her snatch smelt like Bigfoot's dick cheese and I could smell her from over six feet away.
I was walking past the kfc/parole office when two monkeys came at me with guns . Suddenly I was saved when from the kfc the gloffinator came to my rescue diving on top of the blackies and saved my life. Sadly, the shock of the fall from the 3 ton girl that is the gloffinator split the crust of the earth creating a 8.6 magnitude earthquake in the slantly eye continent killing eight- hundred and seventy six million Chinese people. LoLs.
After navigating throughout the Negro part of down we finally got to mr Pizzels house. I opened the door and saw Pizzels sticking his finger in a girl named Mcpaulie's pooper. Mcpaulie is this girl* (*ehhhhhhhh) who is so chubby that her belly enter a room 5-10 meters before her body follows and she has teeth that could stir cement.
"What the Fuck!" , I screamed at the couple in love.
"But I love her," Mcpaulie replied.
I was forced to double tap y 360 no scope the two fuckers and I got Pizzels with the first shot but accidentally got collateral headshot and killed Brie on accident* (ehhhhhhhh). However I did level up with the points n00b. As soon as I was reloading, a girl with tittle litties named briana entered the house with another girl. The other girl was named Lindsay, (the new one errbody hates, the nerd that dresses like a total fuckstick. You know.) a direct product of incest Lindsay was a messed up girl with an annoying face. Briana being a tramp leapfrogged onto my wiener and went to Pleasure town. Lindsay decided to jump in and give briana the shocker but her incest mutated hands changed it into the two in the pinker, 9-and-a-half in the stinker. I was grossed out so I kicked her in the jaw and finished by a tympanic creampie (eardrum) in briana, you heard it here first.
I called up a rolfcopter to take me to vegas to have sex with Sarah palin. I anal bead lawnmowered her. And Ryan had sex with Paige. And the saints just got fucked up . This story sucked. Before you leave a cockface comment remember that ghandi quote, "Haters gonna hate, niggas guna nigga" so I don't give two shits about this. Read the other story or leave a comment of who to name next time. Btw I don't want to write this much. Minimum 5000 characters.