The summer was almost over and I had one class left, having flunked it, as I was too lazy to apply myself during the year. The blasted math had been giving me a headache throughout the entire high school. I had to stop at my dad’s apartment every day after summer classes and do my homework there. A punishment for a moment of weakness when I smoked in his place, forgetting that my dad, very much against the bad habit, would smell cigarettes on me within a mile. There was a long discussion between him and my mother, besides cigarettes, they seemed to have concerns about drinking and drugs, too, which to be quite honest was ludicrous. In the small town where I grew up, one cannot sneeze without everybody knowing, let alone drink and do drugs. That’s why I smoked in my dad’s place, not out in the street.
On this particular day, I had just finished the grueling task of completing the calculations, which even after two months of vigorous studying seemed as complicated to me as they were on the day I flunked the class. My dad’s apartment was hot and stuffy and I had taken a shower just before leaving for home, which I shared with my mom, step dad George and my two sisters.
As I stepped out into the street, I blinded myself by wrapping a string of hair over my face and under my nose in order to take another whiff of shampoo that I had just used in the shower, inhaling its sweet, fruity smell. To my horror, I bumped into somebody, almost falling over like a fool.
A strong pair of hands grabbed my forearms and made me yelp in surprise. I brushed the hair out of my eyes and with great embarrassment noticed that the hands belonged to Duke.
“Hey there, missy!” he laughed and steadied me, holding onto me even after it was evident that the immediate danger of stumbling about had passed.
“Oh,” I gasped. “Hi, Duke.” I giggled and saw his beautiful eyes smiling at me. “I’m... ah…I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“So I see.” He added and I couldn’t quite tell if he was mocking me or if his look of interest was genuine.
“Ah…” I felt silly. “Congratulations on your championship.” Earlier I had learned that he had just returned from Europe, having won a parachuting championship.
He nodded and smiled. We stood there for a few moments longer, awkward silence making the situation almost unbearable.
“Well, I have…” I said and at the same time he opened his mouth, too: “I heard…
We laughed. I waved my hand for him to continue.
“I heard you’re about to go take a break from school?” I nodded.
“Yeah, I’m going to travel for a year.” I said proudly. “Well, at least I hope I can manage to do it for that long. You know, the money and stuff.”
He nodded seriously. Again the silence in which I wondered why I was standing here making myself feel uncomfortable ruled.
“I got to go now,” I finally said and bid my goodbyes.
I walked towards my home and he went the other way, towards the office building where he worked as an import-export rep, which was carefully explained to me by Janie a day or two before. As I reached the corner I turned around and noticed that despite continuing to walk forward, Duke was looking back as well, staring straight at me. He waved his hand and I cursed myself for being so indiscrete.
As I was leaving my dad’s apartment the following day, I ran into Duke again, this time not in a literal sense. A sneaking suspicion crept inside my heart and for a moment I believed that this time meeting Duke was not accidental. Somehow, I felt that this was planned, on Duke’s part.
“Nikkie!” he exclaimed, startling me out of my thoughts. “Just the person I wanted to talk to.” I smiled in amazement. Duke’s attention was most welcome.
“Your dad told me that you’re planning to go to London first.” He said and I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on, Nik.” He said, softly nudging his hand against my shoulder. “Your dad is not too happy with this taking-a-year-off business of yours. He’s worried sick, you know.”
“I know.” I said and almost added how pleased I was to be told that and have my suspicions confirmed.
“Well,” continued Duke undeterred. “Why don’t you come to my office and I can give you a couple of addresses of people that I know in London, friends of mine from college who moved there years ago?”
I was reluctant.
“I can also give you the names of the agencies in London, which deal in cheap flights and accommodations throughout Europe. It might come in handy, you know.”
I nodded and felt foolish. Of course he would just try to be kind.
“Why don’t you come to my office tomorrow? I’ll have the stuff ready for you.”
Now, I might be naïve, but I’m not stupid. I saw the way he looked at me. I didn’t really care, though. I was going to stay in this god-forsaken town for another two weeks and then I’ll be gone. Should anything happen, it would have been forgotten by the time I came back, if I ever did, and I most certainly don’t play on ever coming back.
“Okay,” I nodded slowly. “I’ll come by, sure.”
“Why don’t you drop by in the evening, after you leave here?” Again, I agreed.
“Good!” He smiled and stepped closer to me, completely invading my private space and making me draw a deep breath, trying desperately not to show my discomfort. For a moment I was afraid he was going to kiss me.
“Your hair smells really nice.” He whispered. With that he turned around and was gone before I could say anything.
The rest of the day I felt like a shadow of myself. My mind raced with the speed of light, unable to concentrate on anything I saw or heard. All I could think about was meeting Duke the following day.
I took a long bath that evening, shaving my legs and armpits, and considering if I should shave anything more than that. In the end, I decided that taking care of my bikini line would have to do. I was pretty certain Duke hasn’t invited me out of kindness alone, he had alternative motives and I didn’t mind. But, should anything happen between us, he will certainly realize that I was a virgin and a shaved pussy would not come across as very modest. I used my mother’s most expensive lotions, which she kept in the back of the bathroom cabinet, always admonishing us girls not to waste them. I hardly considered this a waste.
Duke’s whisper, telling me that my hair smelt nice kept ringing in my head, driving me half mad, my body responding to the pure thought of what was probably going to happen.
Just as I was about to pull on my pajama bottoms, I paused for a moment and looked at myself in the mirror. My hand cupped my breast and squeezed it lightly; I pinched my own nipple softly and closed my eyes. I hoped to god that tomorrow would be everything I expected it to be. I had been waiting for this moment for a long time and if I was to give my virginity to Duke, I wanted it to be special.
Special? Who was I kidding? How could sleeping with a complete stranger be special, particularly if I was to give myself to him in more ways than one? Somehow, I was aware that this was an act of desperation and that fact alone would probably not make it pleasurable. I had no boyfriend or any prospects of sleeping with a man in sight. Doing it with Duke would be very safe. He was in a serious relationship and if I didn’t want anybody to know of what had happened, I was certain it could be kept a secret.
My hand left the breast, sliding down my belly and between my legs where I found the bud of my womanhood and within minutes made myself shudder with pleasure. I was about to do something I knew I shouldn’t have, but also knew I absolutely would. I had made up my mind to go through with it and that was that.
The following day was unseasonably cold and drab; light drizzle cleaning the streets of a dirty, industrial town where I had grown up. My dad was at home when I came over to do homework and it took all my strength to be able to sit still for a couple of hours and pretend like I was studying.
I kept peering at the clock on the wall and a few times wondered if the battery inside was old, making the time go slower than usual. At five o’clock sharp I closed my books and got up.
“I’ve got to go, dad.” I said and my father simply nodded, not lifting his gaze from the newspaper. I left the apartment acutely aware that when I return the following day, I would be a changed person. Nothing would ever be the same again.
I stepped out of the building and looked around as if inspecting who was about. I have not told Janie or Danielle or any of the girls about Duke. I was too reluctant in a way, one word from them might change my mind, and I really didn’t want that to happen.
I headed towards Duke’s office, which was in the opposite direction from my home. I walked with a determined step, clutching onto my math books, inside of me a volcano of fear and excitement. I had a feeling that people who were passing by could almost certainly hear my heartbeat. It was so strong that I could feel its steady rhythm in my neck.
I paused in front of the office building for a moment, aware that once I enter the front door, this will be it, no turning back. Just as I reached for the door, it opened and Duke stood there, smiling at me.
“Hey!” he said and my heart sped up, making my ears ring.
“Hello.” I replied and accepted the invitation to enter. We walked down the hall, passed a few offices with the doors wide open and to my relief they were all empty.
“Nobody here?” I asked innocently.
“No.” Duke replied. “Everybody is gone for the day.” He reached for my hand, leading me towards the end of the hall.
I felt his strength and hoped that my hand did not shake too much. When we got to the very last office he pointed to the door and stepped aside to let me go in first. As soon as we entered and the door was safely closed behind us, he grabbed me by the forearm and pulled me towards him. I half leaned, half stumbled against him, pressing all my weight against his body.
He ran his fingers through my hair and said: “Your hair always smells so nice, Nik.”
That statement alone gave me the courage to take the initiative and I raised my face towards his, softly pressing my lips against his. He pounced on me like a cat; leaning me against the door that we had just walked through, pressing his body against mine, running his hands through my hair, and kissing me so passionately I could hardly draw breath. I was well aware that I was still clutching the books against my body. I was so nervous, I was afraid my legs might give way.
With his lips completely enveloping mine and his tongue deep inside my mouth, exploring and brushing against my teeth, his eyes closed, he had enough presence of mind to reach for my books and take them out of my hands. My eyes, on the other hand were wide open, I saw his blind attempt of putting the books on an antique mantel piece that stood behind the door, and having missed it, the books heavily slammed on the floor, startling us. He broke the kiss and smiled.
“Sorry about that.” He said and I shrugged.
Duke picked up the books and carefully placed them on the stand and taking my hand, he led me towards the couch in the middle of the office. I took a moment to look around. The place looked more like a living room than an office. Heavy, old furniture was stuffing the fairly big room, huge plants boasting their greenery in the corners, paintings of seaside landscapes and boats covering the walls.
I half expected to see an article from the newspaper with Duke’s picture somewhere on the wall, but he obviously did not want to ruin the feel of a cozy place with his own vanity. I also noticed that the shutters on the huge windows were all closed, darkening the room.
Duke made me sit on the couch and with his hands pushed my legs apart, kneeling in front of me. He leaned forward and took my face in his hands, kissing me on the mouth, on the cheeks, placing a soft peck on each eye, his tongue finding its way inside my mouth.
Of course I was kissed by other guys before, but never this passionately. As afraid as I was of what was evidently about to come, I could feel my body respond. My stomach knotted into a tight ball, and I could feel a tingle between my legs.
Duke was moaning softly, one of his hands now leaving my face and working its way down my denim shirt buttons, undoing each one impatiently and with a surprising skill.
“Wait, wait…” I panicked and he stopped, sitting back onto his heels, the other hand joining the effort of freeing me of my shirt.
“What?” he gasped, giving me a wicked smile, sexy and dangerous at the same time.
“I’ve never…you know…” I said, knowing embarrassment was more then evident. “Well, I’ve never done this before.” I finished.
Duke paused for a moment, puzzled.
I looked around, not knowing what else to add. The dreaded feeling that he had just completely lost his interest washed over me.
“You mean, you never slept with a guy?” He cocked his head questioningly.
“No, never.” I cocked mine in response.
“Oh.” He said and I thought I saw a momentary disappointment on his face. I felt trapped in my own stupidity. I put myself in this position and didn’t know how to get out of it.
“Well,” he smiled and his whole face lit up with mischief. “We don’t really have to fuck, do we?”
I winced over his crudeness, nevertheless finding myself returning his smile. Having completed the task of unbuttoning my shirt, he leaned over me again and whispered in my ear. “But I do want to see what you’re hiding in here.” He said and I could feel a wave of tingles traveling from my ear straight down my body and between my legs.
His hand reached under my shirt and found its way under my bra, cupping my breast and pinching my nipple, in the exact same way as I had done the night before. I couldn’t help but moan and this seemed to please him.
Duke kissed me on my neck, causing me to shudder with pleasure. He kissed his way down my chest, pushing the shirt over my shoulders and pulling my bra over my breasts, exposing them to a man’s eyes for the first time since I was a little girl, running around the pool naked with my sisters, oblivious to the shame that would so soon become a burden of modesty to a young woman.
He kissed my nipple, gently biting it and making me yelp in surprise.
“You seem to be ready for it.” He whispered and continued to suckle on my breast as if he was a little babe. I closed my eyes and ran my hands through his mop of brown, unruly hair. I seemed to like him more with every moment.
Without a word of resistance from me, he sat back on his heels, taking off my shirt completely, expertly undoing my bra and sliding it off my arms.
“Mmm, beautiful.” He whispered and I moaned again. This was turning out to be pretty good. Of course, like every girl in anticipation of this moment I had always pictured it to be romantic, an inevitable following of a few dates, hanging out in nightclubs, probably slightly tipsy, on a soft bed, with quiet music in the background and the works. At this particular moment, though, I didn’t particularly care. He was hot, making me hot too and I was ready for anything.
Yet, I was not ready for him to pull away all of a sudden, stand up and point somewhere behind the couch on which I was sitting, offering his hand to me. I got up and to my great dismay noticed a makeshift pallet in the corner of the adjacent, smaller room in the back; empty of all the furniture but for the huge copying machine and several maps of the area plastered on the wall. I felt silly standing in the middle of the office, half naked and shivering with embarrassment. I crossed my arms over my breasts in a gesture of modesty and he smiled.
“Don’t,” he said. “They’re so beautiful, don’t hide them.” I returned a smile but kept my arms crossed. “Come.” He said and grabbed one of my hands, leading me into the other room. “Come,” he said encouragingly again. “We’ll just play a little, it’ll be okay.”
I followed like a lamb to the slaughter and writing this now, I still feel like that. We paused in front of the pallet and Duke gave me a hug, kissing me, and running his fingers over my back. The sensation was unfamiliar to me, but pleasurable to the point where I completely lost my head, finally returning the passionate kiss and wrapping my arms around his strong body.
“Yeah,” he whispered as he pulled his lips off mine, still holding me, pressing his pelvis against mine. I could feel hardness nudging the sensitive spot between my legs, the similar feeling of pleasure that I felt when playing with myself.
Duke stepped away from me, unzipping his pants and with virginal embarrassment, I turned away, noticing the heavy wooden door which must have lead into the hall, bordering on one side of the pallet. I panicked.
“What if somebody comes in?” I asked.
“Locked,” he responded after following my gaze to the door. “Always locked.” I sighed in relief.
Another wave of panic flushed over me and as if reading my mind, Duke answered. “The other door is locked, too.” I haven’t noticed him locking it up. “Besides, only a cleaning lady will come into the building, but not in here.”
I tried to think if I knew who was the cleaning lady of this building. It would have been just my luck that the door was not properly locked and somebody that I had known was to walk in on us. I looked back at Duke and the fear of being discovered was replaced by a shock. In a few seconds when I was freaking out over the security of the rooms we were occupying, he managed to take off all of his clothes and now stood in front me naked, but for the socks. My eyes almost popped out of my head.
This was the fist time I had ever seen a man completely naked, my first glance at the cock, let alone an erect one. A glance was all it took; I was too embarrassed to look longer. I turned away and again, my hands crossed over my chest.
Duke stepped towards me and hugged me, caressing my hair and kissing my face, his tongue seeking out my own. He slid down in front of me, kneeling and a funny thought of how much he likes kneeling ran through my mind, making me giggle.
He looked back at me and grinned. The giggle was obviously taken as what it was, a sign of embarrassment rather than mockery. He unzipped my jeans and let them drop to the floor, pulling them over my feet together with the sneakers that I wore. To my great relief, he left my panties on for the time being. I felt as if I would die on the spot were he to take them off right away. This was the first time I was naked with a man and the feeling of exhilaration was still coupled with shame.
“Come,” Duke pulled me down to him, gently pushing me onto the pallet. I laid on my back, carefully pressing my legs together, well aware that this would turn out to be more than just a little play, like Duke pointed out earlier.
He lay next to me and began kissing me all over - my face, breasts, belly, working his way down my thighs to my knees, extending his arm above my waist and gently tickling my side making me shriek in laughter. “Sshh.” He said and pulled himself back up so that we lay side by side.
“What?” I asked innocently and giggled again.
“The cleaning lady is here.” That sobered me up instantly. I was ready to jump up and put on my clothes.
“No, no.” Duke pressed me back onto the pallet. “She won’t come in, it’s locked, remember?” I looked at him and then fearfully at the door, which was so close that I could have touched it was I to extend my arm. “We’ll just have to be quiet.” He said and buried his face into my belly.
His soft kisses, tongue running over my skin, gentle pinches of my nipples and firm squeezes with his hands were driving me wild. I was aware of my body being completely turned on; I could feel the wetness between my legs. Despite the fear of what was to come, I could hardly wait for it to happen.
Very naively I suppose, I still had a notion of romantic coupling seen on TV and read of in the books. Everything was to be passionate and gentle, beautiful and satisfying.
When Duke pulled my panties off I didn’t resist. His hand stroked my inner thighs and without a thought I spread my legs enough to give him a free passage. As eager as he seemed before, he took his time now. His fingers were running over my thigh to the knee and back, barely touching the skin, giving me the feeling of light electric shocks in my leg.
It bothered me however that he laid next to me, propped up on his elbow, staring at me without saying a word, a smug grin on his face. He must have seen what his touch was doing to me. I suppose one would not have expected a virgin to be this forthcoming, but he was driving me absolutely mad with teasing.
“You want to kiss my dick?” he asked all of a sudden and I almost screamed in horror. “It’s okay,’ he smiled, “You don’t have to, we can do that some other time.” His hand reached up higher on my thigh than before, only to change its course and go back down to my knee.
Did he really say ‘the next time’? Was there to be the next time? I wanted it to be, at least at that moment I did. If what was to come was this pleasurable, I would certainly want it to happen again.
Finally, his hand pushed further up my inner thigh, making me spread my legs even more and for the first time in my life, I felt somebody else’s fingers on my clitty. The feeling is almost impossible to describe and I hope I never forget it. I was already turned on and when he brushed his fingers against my pussy I yelped, trying hard to keep it to myself, but didn’t quite succeed. He placed his finger on my clitty and held it there for a few moments, still but with slight pressure applied.
“You like that?” he asked and I closed my eyes in shame and pleasure. “Tell me, Nikkie, please.” He whispered and the pressure on my clitty intensified. I thought I was going to cry, I felt so good. “Do you…?
“Yes, yes, oh yes.” I gasped and felt his finger starting to make delicate circles around my clitty, then on top of it, as if trying to circle the little bud itself. My thighs twitched and I moaned, aware that I might look silly, but not caring.
He kept rubbing my clitty and pressing his fingers against my pussy, kissing my neck at the same time, then tracing his tongue to my breast and suckling on my nipple, all the while his fingers between my legs never stopped working.
I could feel the pleasure in my belly intensifying and I could not believe that I was so close to cumming, having it done so many times by myself, but it never seemed to be this pleasurable. As if from a great distance, I remember hearing my best friend'svoice explaining that it had taken her a long time before she cummed with her boyfriend. Months, I think she said.
Well, Janie – I thought – it won’t take months for me.
I was grateful that Duke didn’t try and make me touch his dick or like he asked me before take it in my mouth. I was too freaked out, yet. After all, this was my first time.
Just as I was certain that a few more brushes against my clitty were going to send me over the edge and into a whirlpool of pleasure such as I have not experienced before, Duke pulled his hand away and to my disappointment and anticipation, but still terror, knelt between my legs, hooking his arms under my knees and driving them up, so that they were almost pressed against my belly.
He didn’t say anything this time, his face serious with concentration over what he was doing. I finally gathered the courage to look at his dick again and it appeared funny to me. The sight of its purplish head almost made me burst into laughter. Until, that is, I felt it press against the entrance of my pussy, which by that time was well lubed with my own juices.
I wanted to ask him to please continue with what he was doing before. I thought maybe I should tell him how close I was to cumming, but the inexperience had made me keep quiet in embarrassment. Having positioned himself, Duke looked in my eyes and slowly pushed forward. The unfamiliar feeling of an intruder entering my body made me squirm.
Janie told me that the first time usually hurts; sometimes a lot, but I felt no pain yet. Duke paused a little and pushed in farther. I could see the sweat beads gathering on his forehead. Then he shoved in deeper and the first pain in my stomach made me grab his arms, and jump up as if trying to squirm from under him and sit up.
I think he must have anticipated that and he lay on top of me, his belly against mine, his arms pushing my legs horizontally on my body, opening me up completely. He pushed in again and the pain became more pronounced, intensifying each time he shoved, until I thought I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Please stop!” I gasped, but Duke kept pushing deeper, now holding onto my arms as if trying to pull himself all the way inside of me. The searing pain of his dick entering my virgin pussy was incredible. Suddenly, I felt as if something inside me had snapped and I couldn’t keep quiet. I didn’t scream off the top of my lungs as I wanted to, but the groan was loud and if anybody was listening, they must have heard it.
“Stop, stop!” I begged and he stopped but didn’t pull out.
“It’s all the way in, now, sweetheart.” He whispered, gently kissing me on the lips. I didn’t want to be kissed. “It’s going to get better, you’ll see.” He said and I seriously doubted that this pain would simply go away. “It’s alright, I can wait.” He said.
I didn’t want him to wait. I wanted him to pull out and let me go.
After a few moments he started pumping in and out very gently, his movements barely visible to an eye, but to my pussy, each one seemed like an assault with a thick bat. The burning pain traveled into my belly and I cringed, trying hard not to start crying.
He was wrong. It did not get any better. He was fucking me softly for what seemed like an hour to me, although I’m certain it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes.
“Be careful.” I said. If I couldn’t get him to stop, I hoped I could at least make sure he didn’t cum inside me. How foolish not to use a condom. Again, by Janie’s instructions, I didn’t even think of a condom. She told me that the first time with a condom is an absolute agony. How much more of an agony than this could it be, I couldn’t imagine.
“Oh, baby,” he whispered and started pumping in and out more forcefully, the pain in my stomach still beyond anything I imagined.
All of a sudden I heard something bang against the door where we lay, just inches from my face. My eyes popped in horror and I looked at Duke, ready to become completely hysterical.
He shook his head and pouted his lips in a quiet ‘sshh’, his pelvis not missing a beat. I could not believe the situation I have gotten myself into. Here I was, in an office of all places, laying on the blanket, in the process of losing my virginity to someone I cared absolutely nothing about, which I’m sure was the case with Duke as well, and a cleaning woman was banging her broom against the door, hopefully oblivious of what was going on the other side.
After a couple of additional fairly forceful bangs, I heard her footsteps moving away from the door, farther down the hall. I sighed in relief, but just for a moment. As I looked at Duke, I saw a satisfied grin on his face. “I thought she’d never leave.” He whispered and despite the pain and discomfort I smiled back.
“Cos,” he continued and I could feel his grip on my arms tighten. “I’m ready to cum, baby!” With that, his pumping intensified, turning into forceful rammings, oblivious to my whimpering and squirming, trying to see it through, terrified at the length of time it was taking him to finish.
I freed my arms and pressed against his chest as if to shove him off. I tighten up my body, as if trying to push the invasive dick out of my sore pussy and this seemed to fire Duke up even more. “Yeah,” he gasped, “That’s right, squeeze me!” he said fucking me hard now, each thrust causing me a new wave of burning pain. “Squeeze my dick, Nikkie!” he kept on and I kept trying to push him out while he continued the assault on my tender part.
The weirdest thing was that despite the pain, it felt good. With each thrust deeper inside, his pelvis pressed against my clitty, giving me pleasure despite the hopeless situation and an understanding that I would not achieve the peak that I almost did before he entered me.
I looked at him and his face was almost as purple as his dick’s head was when I saw him naked. The veins on his forehead and neck were popping out, he was sweaty, his eyes shut, his mouth slightly open with the tongue pressed against the upper lip. He was a handsome man, but seeing him at that particular moment, he looked completely different, pleasurable intoxication making his face ugly.
In my inexperience I couldn’t quite tell when he was cumming and didn’t moan about being careful, again. I didn’t think he could fuck me any harder, but the last few thrusts were so powerful, he moved us both up on the blanket, scraping my back against the rough material. His body surged forward and his chest swayed in front of my face. Determined to return some of the pain that he was causing me, I sucked onto his erect nipple and bit down harder than I meant to, causing him to yell out in pain, his dick completely buried inside of me, Duke still pumping without pulling out now. I could feel the throbbing of his dick, as he was cumming, his body shuddering in a wave of pleasure, a deep groan escaping his throat.
For a few moments afterwards, he remained still between my legs, his upper body supported on his hands, his muscular chest above me. I could feel him relax, his face smoothed over, the redness slowly dissipating.
As if he had only just realized I was there he looked down at me and smiled. I didn’t feel like smiling. He slowly pulled out, which again caused a burning sensation inside my pussy, but not as bad as before.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked and lifted his body off mine, laying next to me. I could feel his cum oozing out of me and the feeling was uncomfortable. I meant to tell him that he was supposed to be careful and not cum inside, but I couldn’t be bothered. It wouldn’t make any difference. I quietly hoped that the saying of the first fuck not resulting in pregnancy was true.
I felt cold and dirty. I didn’t want to lie around and cuddle and I got the feeling Duke felt the same. I sat up and he handed me a small towel to wipe myself off. With that gesture I realized that this was all planned. The pallet was deliberately spread out for me. Duke telling me that we didn’t have to fuck, just play around a bit was bullshit and I fell for it. I had no one to blame but myself.
I quietly wiped myself off, noticing traces of blood mixed with his sperm. I got up and dressed and Duke did the same. While he was pulling his clothes on, he did not look at me once. Only when I was all dressed and ready to go, walking towards the entrance, he came after me. “Wait, wait.” He said and hugged me. Despite the bad experience that I had just had, I was grateful for that hug.
He leaned over and kissed me, gently like a lover, and I loved him for it.
That happened a week ago. I had my final exam yesterday and hope that I will pass, I won’t get the results until tomorrow. I haven’t seen Duke since the day in his office and I’m not looking forward to seeing him again. Each time I leave my dad’s apartment I am careful to check the street before I step out.
I’m glad I did it but then again, I’m not. I probably should have waited. I finally told Janie yesterday and she seemed disappointed. I didn’t know she had fancied him and she didn’t tell me so, but I could gather from her reaction. Well, I can’t help it now. I’m leaving for London on Sunday and I’m excited. Duke never gave me any of the addresses that he promised and I didn’t ask. I think I might be better off without them, anyway.