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i dont know if i going to be married much longer
the next day i woke up and went to go pick up my dry cleaning. later on that day my mom called me on my cell and told me we are having a welcome home dinner party for my brother and me and harvey was exspected to attend. when i got home harvey had already spoken to my mom and was ready to go to my parent house i told him i would meet him there. when harvey left i sat dwn not in any rush to go to my brothers dinner party i turned on the tv and watched it for 20 minutes when i went a put a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on and drove to my parents house

when i walked in i dint use any manners at all i walked into the dinner table room and said oright and took a set next to harvey as i walked to my set all the guest looked at me. harvey leaned over and wispered "what the hell are you doing" i wispered back "acting out every loves the bads ones by the looks of it" we ate are meal and i burped really loud and my mom breathed out loud to sign she was getting angry at me i spoke to one of the guess and said to him "so what bitch you shagging now a days" the guess was shocked and looked at me in a really bad way harvey turned to me and said "are you quite finished" so i said to him "you dont like it you know a divorce is still an option" then i got out of my seat and walked out slamming the door behind me

driving home harvey tried to ring me but i dint answer because i was driving when i got to my apartment i got my suit case and packed a few clothes and reserved a flight for rome (italy) i called a taxi on my cell when it arrived i left harvey a note saying i have to get away for a bit leaving my cell, my pager and my keys next to note i took one last look around my apartment walking out the door i started crying but i got into my taxi and went to the airport and got on my plain

(a few hours later) i arrived in rome and hailed a cab telling the driver to take me to Cavalieri hotel when i got there i paid the guy the fair and walked inside and manged to get a room for 2 weeks (i think i got the very last room) i got up to my room and gave the bell boy a tip and closed the door after him i sat down on a chair and opened my wallet and just staired at the picture of me and harvey for what felt like hours then went to bed

the next morning i woke up and turned on my laptop and read my e-mails and i had one from harvey begging me to come home and telling me how much he loves me reading the email brought me to tears but i replied harvey i need to time to think everything though i tried to tell you i wasnt ready to connect with my brother yet but you pushed me putting a strane on are marriage i dont know how to deal with that i just need time by my self and i need you to give me that time im guessing harvey was by his laptop because 10 minutes later i got a email back saying he was sorry for pushing me to the exstent that i had to run way i mailed him back saying im not running away from anything i just need time to think please dont reply leon

i ordered some room service food that i wont normally eat i had chocolate cake, chips, candy and ice cream i dint really care about my body and what i was doing to it i ate every bit of food that was brought to my hotel room i laid infront of the tv and watched it all day and night until i would pass out i did this for a few days eatting all the fat foods and watching tv but i started to feel ill because my body wasnt use to this kinda food however i got off the sofa and picked up the phone the receptionist said could she help in italain and i asked for a open line she gave me one and i rang brit to tell her what had happened and why i was out here she listened to me and we talked for about 20 minutes before she said she had to go but i made her swear not to tell harvey where i was i desided to have a walk round italy and do a bit of shopping to see if that would make me feel any better when i steped out of the hotel i went shopping but all i could see was happy cupples kiss and holding hands so i ended up finishing my shopping trip early and just going back to the hotel room where i could just be on my own for as long as i wanted when i got back to the room i checked my emails and had one from my mom one from my dad and one from my brother i read them all telling me to come home and we could sort this out but i sent them all the same reply saying im staying where i am for the time being and to just leave me alone until i get home or if i am coming back to la i told my mom not to worry about me i told her i was a big boy that can take care of my self and to have fun showing of my jail bird brother to all her friends because i was done with all the pretences i wrote you never even batted a eye lid when my brother stole my car so i sent the email and carried on watching tv and eatting junk food until it was time for me to pass out for another night infront of the tv

(im not running way from my problem i guest dont know how to deal with them yet)

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2014-03-06 11:37:56
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Anonymous readerReport

2014-01-05 03:39:58
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Anonymous readerReport

2011-11-02 19:24:23
U know closecase is right it seem like he has been there some stuff as way. Never give up on the one u live and I know how u feel bout ur brother same with my family like I said give ur self time Harvey will understand if he love u like he says he give u all the time u want


2011-11-02 18:50:02
part 39 is now out xx


2011-11-02 16:49:57
"(im not running way from my problem i guest dont know how to deal with them yet)"
i guess what im trying to say is harvey may be the only person help you deal with them dont block him out too.

It sounds like you have a serious predisposition towards your brother. possibly because something he said or did in the past that goes beyond just using drugs and him goin to prison.

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