Watashiwa… I… I never did understand myself. I was always shy. I never allowed myself to really know anyone. If anyone saw me, I would blush and move away. I was always quiet and spoke only when needed. Many people have told me to speak up. It is not that I don’t wish to, but more of that I cannot. I can’t speak up. I wish I could, but I am not like those fancy people on television. I try to be polite, but that is only because I am too shy to be like other people and use those foul words. That is why I never complained about anything they did to me.
Just last week, a group of guys came up to me, and lifted up the hem of my dress so fast that everyone saw my pink underwear. You see, my hair is naturally white so I dye them pink every day. I love pink as it is such a soft color, so gentle. I wear a lot of soft colors. That day I just happened to feel like wearing pink. However, I don’t really know why I ever cared about what I wore underneath. It wasn’t as if anyone would see it, at least, not until those boys did that. About one hundred kids saw that happen. I was so embarrassed. In fact, I felt more embarrassed than I ever felt before. Then, the next day, while I was walking back home, the guys pushed me into the park I always pass on my way to and from school. They pushed me into the bush and touched me there. They touched me there. I was so embarrassed. I was lucky that a police officer saw it happen and rushed over. The boys ran off as soon as they saw him. The police officer asked me a few questions and then smiled at me. Then he left to find the boys, telling me to call him if I got in trouble again. He was such a nice person. If only everyone was as nice as he was. None of the boys was found and I have not spoken to him since.
Then, two days ago, those boys, they shoved me again on my way to school and stole my underwear. They stole all of it. I had to walk to school without a bra or panties because I was too far to go back home. In the middle of school, they again, lifted up the hem of my dress all the way. This time, I had no panties on. All the boys looked in wonder. The girls were also shocked. I was very embarrassed. After that, the girls started to avoid me. They must have thought I was a girl who enjoyed what the boys did. The boys started to eye me, as if they were calculating whether to try what the group did.
Anyhow, I need to go to school. I guess this is the end of my diary for this week. I hope that I have a better week this time. I hope someone finds this. I am far too embarrassed to talk to anyone.
Now that I am done, I guess I must go to school now. I am fully ready, my clothes are neat. Now it is time to eat.
It has been two days now and the boys have not bothered me since. All the girls still avoid me, but some are starting to acknowledge my existence. I am about to go to the locker room. It is empty and for that, I am glad. I feel very embarrassed to be seen naked. I begin to undress when I hear footsteps behind me. I try to redress and face the person behind me, but the person pushes me against the locker and turns me around. It is the school prostitute, the loose girl. But, she only messes around with boys, why is she bothering me? It is not like I have done anything that she does. She can have all of the boys if she wants. She keeps me against the locker with one hand while her other hand… Her other hand brushed against my panties. I feel so frightened. She smiles in a frightening way. She is now putting her hand in my panties and has two fingers up my vagina. She swirls her fingers around. I want to leave, but I am too afraid to say anything. She seems to enjoy it. I slowly try inching away from her, but she has too firm of a grip on me. She is making me feel warm, I am not sure if I like this feeling. I need to leave and I need to leave now. I am panting just like her; I don’t want to, but I can’t help it. I struggle to get away from her, but she just smiles in her evil way and continues. Oh no, the door is opening. I struggle a bit harder, but she just continues, not paying any attention. The girls gasp as they see us. The whisper a bit and then rush off. This is really bad. The loose girl sees them leave, but does nothing more than let me go, brush herself off and then continue on. My life is ruined.
…A few days after that occurred, I happened to be taking a walk in the woods trying to let my mind clear up. The loose girl then grabbed me from behind, forced me to the ground, and smiled. I tried to ask her to let me go, but all I could do was mumble. She forced my clothes off one by one. Then, she started to put two fingers in and out of my vagina, occasionally playing with my breasts. I got the warm feeling once more. Eventually, my vagina started to get this strange smell. She started to lick my vagina once this occurred. She seemed to enjoy it and my body enjoyed it, but I didn’t. Finally, she sat on my face and ordered me to lick her vagina. This was disgusting to me, but I didn’t have a choice. I slowly licked it, trying to get her to leave. Finally, she spewed a whole bunch of liquid out. She then decided that it wasn’t enough. She then repeated the process for what seemed to be hours. By the end, I was numb, I couldn’t feel anything. In fact, it just seemed like a blur. She smiled, looked at me, and said, “You are coming to my house.” That was bad. She hasn’t had me go yet, but I just know that this week she will. Dear journal, this is the start of another bad week.