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My first time posting a story here! I stumbled upon in this in my head, please no overly rude comments, for this is not my best work but it's a start of a series I want to make...
I couldn’t help but to explore this very house again, after so long from being departed from it, now was my only chance to relinquish the forbidden memories. Pushing the door ajar, my feet touched ground to the carpeting of the room for the first time. Dark swirls of lavender, black, ivory and silver invaded any corner of the dimly lit room as I walked inside, music wafting from under the bathroom door clouding my concentration for a moment...a rock song that spoke of undermining authority & child-like playfulness, I listened carefully to the beautiful voice singing alongside the lead vocalist’s in harmony with an edge I grow to appreciate, even beginning to trust in. I sit on the edge of the bed, the scent of perfume alarming to my heightened senses, but I inhale waves of toxic strawberry and vanilla with such a vigor that’s similar to drowning.

A gasp comes from the direction of the bathroom, and my eyes snap open from my reverie of bliss. Her skin light as caramel, wrapped in a stark white towel; those eyes, glowing as bright as an emerald in the sunlight; her dark, long & lush curls damp, clinging to her cheeks; every curve of her delectable body, her strikingly cute features embedded into that innocent face...

“Jylainah.” Her name pierces the air from my lips, my heart starting to beat erratically within.

My eyes capture an image behind her, subtly sitting in a vintage mirror with haunted, crimson eyes; dark blonde hair covering my forehead in thick, wavy tresses; skin tone a unusually natural shade of tan, compared to the average Caucasian male; and finally, I noted the way the green polo fit snugly against my chest, stained in dried bloody & tears of pitiful humans.

“Why are you here?” Jylainah whispered hoarsely, her fingers clutching the protecting knot of her towel in surprised anger.

“My memory has done you no justice, I see. I don’t recall you looking like a goddess...”

“Don’t,” she snapped, sighing as she walks over to sit opposite side of the huge bed. “Do NOT say a word about me, you don’t get a right to think that about me,”

“Beast?” I growl softly in retort, raising an eyebrow to her; Jylainah looks away from me, to her feet with no acknowledgement. I watch her, as silent tears run down her cheeks, and I want to reach out and touch her. I don’t. Ever since I sold my soul, I’ve lost my right to be with her; the plan was to sell my mortal self in trade for the immortality of being invincible, more helpful than I ever was before as a homosapien & to coax Jylainah Rush into believing I hadn't died the night of my born-again life and to run away with me from her overbearing family.

It all started with the day I saw her, the rebellious-looking Jylainah walked through the halls of our high school and for some reason? I couldn’t look away from her, from head to toe, she wasn't a blonde knock-out or a brunette minx, but an unusual female at most speculation of me & my friends; they all said she must just be some juvenile chick being sent to our school for bad behavior. With her thick, black boots to her leather jacket, I thought the same...but we were both wrong, the sexy vixen wasn’t all so bad but she was a change from all the other girls among us. Lainy even got picked on, which was new as well considering everyone was friends with each other, but after some redhead queen-B named Jennifer ruthlessly attacked Jylainah’s self esteem and pride, many others decided to follow suit. I recognized her one day at one of my school lacrosse games and, awkwardly so, we hit it off a day or two after.

“I,” she cries, turning to look at me again; the sight of her in pain made my heart crack, and before I knew it, I had stripped myself of my filthy shirt to hold my girl close to me. “When your mom said you had...passed-d away...I lost myself. I thought I...I...”

“Shh, I’m here...I will never leave your side, Lainy,” I cooed, stroking her hair and back softly.

“Make love to me, right here.” Pulling her from my damp chest, I studied her eyes quizzically.

“What...did you just say?” I choked out, clearing my throat and

“Please? I’ve never made a...demon before,” Jylainah explained quietly as she looked away again, and I pulled her chin for her eyes to stay level to mine. My thoughts were contorted with restraint, lust and torturous love as we gazed at one another; in the moment, I knew, that she had really missed me. She was so different from other girls, Lainy caught my eye and amused me from the start of her Freshman year, back when I was on the lacrosse team and she sat in the stands to support the team. And now, here it was again, those sparks of attraction and sensuality, grinding my very inner core to mush; and sending a flowing circulation of arousal below far more quicker than normal in a long, agonisingly long time.

“Please?” Lainy squeaked, awaiting my answer timidly. Opening my mouth, I replied...

anonymous readerReport

2012-02-28 23:53:02
Good story! I bit confusing at the start,
but i finally figured out! :3 Keep up the good work!

anonymous readerReport

2012-02-28 23:52:31
Good story! I bit confusing at the stat, but i finally figured out! :3 Keep up the good work!

anonymous readerReport

2012-02-27 20:28:54
i dunno...i think the expression 'wafting...clouding my concentration' for music is misplaced. otherwise, too early to say. let's see the 2nd...


2012-02-26 23:06:57
As has been said, very good writing, its paints a good picture. I like where its going and the dramatic cliff hanger, looking forward to the next part.


2012-02-26 13:14:53
Hi. Your writing is technically excellent, and the story intriguing. Maybe the reason people haven't rated it is because there's no sex. I've given you a positive rating because it's refreshing to read something that has good grammar. I'd love to read more. I hope you write more. All the best.

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