Forward and Disclaimer:
These chapters are an honest depiction of my life and the things that I have experienced. I am writing them as a way to share and bond with others that may have had similar episodes in their own lives. These stories narrate my life in great detail, and whereas all of them contain sexuality in one sense or another, many of them attempt to give an accurate depiction of place and time and thus, may be a bit wordy. XNXX has created these forums for those like myself to post things that we can’t quite post elsewhere and hence, the reason for putting my story out there.
My adventure begins from when I was a very young age, all written from my current recollections as an adult. As such, there may be a few errors or omissions and for that, I apologize. I have attempted to reconstruct a majority of my sexual development in the words that follow and hope that the reader will indeed enjoy. I understand that there are those that will use these inaccuracies to doubt the truth of these recollections, and post their negative comments: those people should understand that I am not seeking validation, approval nor acceptance from strangers .
My sincerest wish is that, through these stories and their inclusion on XNXX that I may be able to connect with people that may have had similar experiences or, at the very least, fantasized about them.
Thanks for reading, and enjoy…
There are only a handful of memories from childhood that remain with us throughout our lives. Strangely enough, it seems that these experiences and our reactions to them can often set the stage for what our preferences and desires will be later in life. Subconsciously, the most trivial episodes can profoundly affect who we become as adults and how our lives develop. Even as very young people, we seem to be imbued with a sense of right and wrong. Yet our natural curiosities can innocently override these senses with results that stay with us throughout the course of our existence. As we grow older and begin to understand the world and the choices we face every day, our youthful experience factors largely into our value set and our moral compass; and what we do when it comes time to make a choice. I fully realize after 36 years, that the occurrences I had as a child have steered me to where I am today…
My sister and I grew up in a very strict household. Our parents sent us to a private school in Virginia that, through biblical undertones, helped to reinforce the discipline we were receiving at home. We faced the threat of corporal punishment every day at home and at school. An effective behavior modifier, the thought of having our asses beat did a great deal to influence our actions and choices both at home and at school.
The school was billed as non-denominational, yet was administered by a church on campus. As such, many of the school’s policies reflected the basic teachings of the church. Dances and social get-togethers were denounced as an instrument of the devil, and there were no classes on sex-ed or substance abuse. Girls wore skirts longer than knee length, and boys wore khakis. The color red was not allowed as it was the devil’s color. Bible verses were memorized and recited, there was church assembly every day, and the education was mostly bible oriented. In short, there were no classes on real-world issues that would confront us as we grew up, just reading, writing and arithmetic. I did my best to be a good student. Primarily to avoid the hard paddle of oak that the school principal would utilize to blister a young person’s ass when they fucked up and secondly, to make my parents proud. Nevertheless, I would soon have a very serious run in with discipline…
The seeds of my sexual curiosity were planted by a girl named Shelly in my first grade class. Shelly was cute and we would sit next to each other, play together on the playground, and we were always each other’s partner for in-class exercises. As our friendship grew and we became more comfortable with each other, Shelly would teach me something that I would always cherish, even to this day!
One afternoon we were on the playground together and Shelly told me to change where I put my mat down for naptime because she had something to show me. I couldn’t really understand why or what she could possibly show me at naptime, but as we got in from recess and naptime began, I put my mat down where she had indicated. As most elementary schools go, there were desks for individual work, and tables for groups. Shelly had taken a spot across from me separated by one of these tables. When our teacher finally left the room, she waved at me to get my attention and through the legs of the chairs I could see what she was doing and it surprised the hell out of me. Shelly had rolled over onto her side to face me and had hiked the front of her skirt up so as to expose her crotch. As I watched in amazed disbelief she reached into her panties and began rubbing her hand over herself. Every so often she would pull her panties aside and show me exactly how her fingers were caressing her every fold. I had no idea what I was watching her do, but I knew that the look on her face was one of glee and enjoyment. She continued to pleasure herself until our teacher came back in the room and turned the lights back on. Shelly quickly covered back up and we went home without saying anything to each other for the rest of the day. I spent the remainder of the day confused about what I had just witnessed.
The next day Shelly approached me on the playground and asked me if I had tried it.
“Tried what?” was my answer.
“Rubbing yourself…you know…down there.”
Not really knowing what to say, I simply blurted out, “I can’t, I have a thingy down there.”
“You can rub your thingy and it will feel really good! Try it today at naptime…lay down in the same place and I’ll show you.”
We were too young to know anything about sex, but she did know that if she rubbed and fondled herself long enough, eventually it would feel real good. So when naptime came, I decided to give it a shot.
As she promised, it DID feel real good. I had unzipped my pants, reached down beneath my Darth Vader Underoos and slid my hand across my cock just as she had across her pussy. And just like that, I was hooked. Fortunately, pre-pubescent orgasms didn’t involve the emission of semen, so when the magic moment arrived and the teacher hit the lights, there was no mess to clean up. Shelly and I were six, naïve, and possessed a natural childhood curiosity of each other’s bodies. Yet the fact that we felt compelled to do it at naptime when no one was watching and the teacher was away seemed to indicate we knew we prolly weren’t supposed to be doing that. Nevertheless, touching ourselves that way ended in a sensation unlike anything I had ever experienced, and that was enough to overshadow the threat of a beating from the principal. We continued our naptime peep show for a few months, until one day Shelly decided she had something else to show me.
One afternoon during recess, Shelly asked me to follow her. She led me back to our classroom and into the girl’s restroom. I stopped at the door and told her I couldn’t go in there. She told me she had to pee and asked if I wanted to watch. From out of the blue, my inquisitive nature took hold, and I felt the need to discover how girls peed without thingies. Shelly and I went into a stall and I stared as she slipped off her long denim skirt, sat on the toilet and returned my gaze.
Shelly asked me to pull my pants down, and I readily obliged. I really didn’t know what the hell I was doing, but when she asked me to do the ‘feel good’ thing she taught me, it felt like the natural progression of events. As I stood there fondling myself, Shelly began to pee. My senses overloaded, I was rubbing my little cock in front of a girl while she was peeing in the bathroom of our first grade schoolhouse. I was having my first real sexual experience without even realizing it. When she was finished, she began rubbing herself and we both watched each other masturbate without having to peek around table legs. We were both on the verge of our orgasms…
The bathroom door opened and scared the hell out of both of us. Frozen, I can still remember the sound of our first grade teacher’s voice…
“Are you in here, Shelly? Recess is over. Come join the rest of the class. OH MY GOD!!”
Soon I was earning my first frequent flier miles as I was swung by my shirt collar out of the stall and told to pull my pants up. I began fumbling with my pants, wiping away my tears and the little rope of snot that was running off my face. After what seemed like an eternity, Shelly and I were both in the hallway of the principal’s office. I got to go in first and after a series of lectures about the devil, how awful I was, and how I will burn for my sins, I got 10 lashes of oak across my ass. Child’s play compared to what awaited me at home…
Chapter One- Sibling Bonds:
The day my sister got caught touching herself was life-changing for both of us. Like the beating they bestowed upon me several years earlier after the bathroom incident with Shelly, my parents gave equal measure to Maureen. I could hear the same lectures bellowing out over the pops of the belt on her ass. Her cries filled my ears as I sat on my bed in shocked silence. I knew what they were doing to her; I had suffered it many times before. As the beating finally came to an end, they came in after me. Both parents were towering over me and accusing me of teaching Maureen these ‘evil’ behaviors. They had decided that I was to blame for their daughter’s actions and were not interested in hearing any evidence to the contrary. I did my best to try and explain that I hadn’t done anything, but my perceived lies only infuriated them more and lengthened the torture.
“Maybe this time you’ll learn your lesson! “ My father shouted as the hard leather came crashing down on my ass.
Through my screams I could hear their voices accusing me of something I hadn’t done. I had my face buried in my pillow, as it seemed he would beat harder the more noise I made. I lifted my head to gulp some air when suddenly I saw my naked sister standing in the doorway of my room. She was in shock. I have no idea how long she had been there, watching my father brutalize my ass just as he had done with her. The look on her face made me stop howling. I went to a place inside myself that I have only been on a few occasions since. I could no longer feel the pain coursing through my body. I was fixated on the expression my sister had upon her face. After a few more whacks, my father mercifully stopped. It seemed the satisfaction of beating me had vanished now that I was no longer flailing about. They both stormed out of my room and threw Maureen back into hers. I got up from my bed to retrieve my pants from the floor. There was blood all over my sheets from where my ass cheeks had been. I looked at my butt in the mirror and got a towel from the bathroom to mop off the blood that was oozing from my ass. I blacked out on the floor soon after…
As in episodes before, a traumatic event had slowed down time and burned an indelible memory into my mind. I will never forget the look on Maureen’s face as she stood in the doorway to my room: The tears across her red cheeks…her runny nose and swollen face…the look of terror. In the days that followed, I became more angry, confused and sad. No explanation had ever been given why it was so bad to touch myself. We had to be content with ‘evil’ and ‘disgusting’ as adequate reasons. Even at 12 years old, that wasn’t going to suffice in order to put away my curious nature.
I was shocked to find out that Maureen was touching herself. Despite my parents’ best efforts and occasional beatings, I was addicted to masturbating and simply couldn’t stop. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it so much that the pleasure it brought far outweighed any beating I received when I got caught. It never crossed my mind that Maureen might be doing the same. I assumed that this was something I did on my own. My parents were successful in making me believe masturbating was sinful, but I couldn’t resist. In the years since Shelly taught me I had become adept in hiding my habit and took huge steps to ensure I wouldn’t get caught. Now, my parents were convinced that I had passed my habit on to Maureen, yet it never even occurred to me to do so. Nevertheless, I was certain that I didn’t want her to suffer at the hands of my parents like that ever again. I loved my sister and was very protective of her. I guess it was the byproduct of living in such an abusive and controlling home. I decided that all I could do now was look out for her to insure it wouldn’t happen again.
Several weeks after the bruises on our asses had subsided; I knew it was time for me to try to make sense of what had occurred with Maureen. I was filled with questions and emotions that needed to be dealt with, and I knew my sister must have had some as well. It was late and our parents were fast asleep. Maureen and I shared an adjoining bathroom that made it easy for us to visit each other. The door on her end was closed, but I could see some light from under the door. I softly knocked and opened it.
“Sissy? You awake? “
Maureen quickly pulled her flannel night shirt down. She looked over at the door and her face told the entire story: I had caught her masturbating! I knew the expression instantly; I had felt it on my face a dozen times in the past. For a moment I couldn’t believe that’s what she was doing. I had figured with all the torture our parents put us through that Maureen would never touch herself again. But then again, it hadn’t stopped me.
“Oh, please don’t tell, Josh! I won’t do it again, I promise!” Her voice was trembling and I could tell she was about to burst into tears.
“Shhh, I won’t say a word.” I said, as I quietly closed her door of the bathroom. “But you have to promise you won’t tell on me!” I smiled in an attempt to reassure her. I sat down on the bed next to her and put my hand on her soft thigh.
“Wh…wh…what do you mean?” Her body was quaking, she was clammy and terrified.
“Shhhh…first you have to calm down and not cry. You wake them up, and we’ll both be in for it!” I rubbed her thigh and waited for Maureen to regain herself. After a few moments, I reminded her of the obvious.
"You DO know that if I was mom or dad, you’d be in a lot of trouble right now.”
“I know, but I just can’t help it. It feels so good when I do it.”
“I know, sweetie, I can’t stop either.”
“You mean you do the bad touchie too?”
“Yes, a lot. I‘ve been doing the bad touchie since I was six”
The bad touchie. Our parents called it that. We didn’t know why they did, nor did we understand why something ’bad’ felt so wonderful. Neither of us had any answers. Maureen listened as I told her the entire story of Shelly and the bathroom. I told her how Shelly had taught me the bad touchie during naptime. I described how our principal beat me. How our parents reacted much the same as they had with her. She was a bit uncomfortable at first, especially when I told her about my beating. She couldn’t understand why, and I explained that I didn’t have any answers, but I did know that there was no way I was going to stop making ‘bad touchie’. She was relieved that I wasn’t going to tell on her and that I shared her same addiction. I felt relief too, in that I had someone I could confide in as well.
“Is that why dad beat you after he beat me, because you still make bad touchie?”
“No. He thinks I’m the one that showed you how to make bad touchie.”
“But, Anne showed me at camp this summer.”
I was surprised, but at least that was one question answered: Who had showed my sister how to make ‘bad touchie‘? Anne lived in our neighborhood and was my age. Her brother, Eric was my best friend and had been such since second grade. Their family attended our church. We had all vacationed together, shared cookouts and spent a lot of time with each other. Maureen and Anne were best friends as well and had been to a church sponsored camp for two weeks this past summer. Apparently, they both learned a lot more than bible verses.
“Anne showed you? “
“Yeah. We were swimming in the river and she showed me how to sit down by the rocks so the water would rush between our legs. It felt amazing.”
Christ! Eric and I had been friends for years and we never did anything like that! It seemed that Maureen was becoming more comfortable chatting with me about her body and what she had been up to with Anne.
“Anne and I played in the bathroom a lot, too. Just like you and Shelly. She showed me how to make that same feeling with my fingers. She was really good at it.”
I was amazed. I couldn’t believe that there were other kids doing the same thing I had been doing for years. Now that I realized my sister and her best friend were doing it, I began to understand that maybe this behavior wasn’t so bad after all and only limited to me. Suddenly, the full scope of what Maureen had just said hit me…
“Wait, did Anne TOUCH you down there?”
“Yeah, and I touched her, too.”
I was stupefied and didn’t know what to say. I came into Maureen’s room with the intention of making my 10 year old sister feel better about what she had been caught doing. Yet I was the one that was surprised! First, I had learned that my sister masturbates. Now I was finding out that not only did my sister and her best friend it, but they were doing it with each other as well. I was in total disbelief. Even during naptime and in the bathroom Shelly hadn’t touched me! Nor I her. I don’t even think the thought ever crossed our minds. Weird. Yet my sister seemed fine letting another girl touch her private area.
“Anne told me she’d get in a lot of trouble if I told anyone what we were doing. You won’t tell will you?”
“No, of course I won’t! Anne wouldn’t be the only one in trouble, you know?”
“Yeah.” Maureen dropped her head.
I put my hand on her chin and lifted her head up. “It’s okay, really. I’m not going to tell. I’ve been making bad touchie for a lot longer than you. Dad has beaten me many times because of it. I just had no idea you did it too! And I swear I‘ll never let dad beat you like that again.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a huge hug. “Thank you, Joshie…I love you.” Her soft voice in my ear felt lovely…I whispered back into hers…”I love you too, Maureen.”
She let go and lay back in her pillows. “I’m sorry I got you in trouble.”
“You didn’t get me in trouble…Shelly did!” I said through a laugh. “Just like Anne got you into trouble!” After a brief pause I mumbled, “So Anne showed you at camp, I wonder how she learned?” I was thinking out loud and really wasn’t expecting Maureen to know.
“She watched her mom do it a few times.”
“Anne’s mom makes bad touchie? You asked her?”
“No, she just told me. She said she saw her mom doing it a few times and tried it herself.”
Wow! Adults doing it? I had never really questioned where Shelly had learned to masturbate. Perhaps it was under the same conditions.
“I’m glad Anne showed me. I love how it makes me feel. Want to see?”
I was surprised at Maureen’s boldness and her desire to share this with me. Shelly was the first and only girl I had watched masturbate. It felt a little peculiar being with my sister, but I didn’t want to deny her the opportunity to show me and to reinforce to her that what we were doing wasn‘t wrong.
“Sure, I’d love to.”
Maureen pulled off her night shirt off and got comfy in her pillows. Her skin was deeply tanned, save for where her bathing suit had been. She had lived in her suit all summer and it gave her a cute tan line that caressed her body and gave her a two-tone effect. Her long auburn hair spilled all over her body and I was gazing over every inch of it. I suddenly realized that this was a huge departure from my experience with Shelly. In the five years since my experience with her, my body had changed and the locust swarm of puberty was looming on the horizon. Now I was noticing my sister’s body as beautiful and was enjoying seeing her naked in an entirely different fashion. I felt my cock begin to stir without even laying a hand on it. Where once was simple curiosity, now it was replaced by feelings I had never experienced before…
Maureen licked her fingers and began to rub between her legs. She had shaken off her fear from earlier in the night and was now very comfortable. She seemed to be enjoying herself and was making sure her older brother understood what was going on.
“See? Is this how Shelly did it?”
“Yeah! Almost exactly like that!”
“And watch what else I can do.”
She rolled over and began to grind one of her pillows. Her white butt and bronzed back arched into the air and I noticed how beautiful she looked. I kept staring at the line where her brown skin became white and vice-versa. The crack of her ass was high in the air and her white butt was rhythmically moving up and down. Maureen’s face was covered in her heap of hair, but I could hear her lightly moan and could see that her breathing was becoming quicker and heavier by the way her ribs were expanding.
Wow! I didn’t know you could rub on a pillow.”
My voice must have brought her back from the brink.
“Wha, yeah…oh look… my stuffed animals too!”
My sister hopped off of her pillow and took out her life sized lion. She began to hump it furiously. Soon she had her face buried in her pillow as her orgasm exploded in her body. She rolled off of her lion and was covered in a film of sweat. Beads of it were nestled in-between her developing tits and her hair was soaked as if she had just hopped out of the shower. I was noticing my sister in a way I hadn’t before and I had no idea where these feelings were coming from. All I knew was that this was totally different than my experiences before. My cock was fully erect and my heart was racing.
“Okay, your turn.”
I totally wasn’t expecting to hear that.
“I wanna see how you do it. I showed you, now you have to show me.”
Maureen was smiling from ear to ear and was excited to see me demonstrate my bad touchie for her. Out of nowhere, I became embarrassed. My cheeks got red and my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. I was already confused by what I was feeling about my sister, now she wanted to watch me masturbate. I didn’t know what to do.
“Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?”
I came in here to try to help the situation and put our minds at ease, and now I was on the verge of royally screwing things up. I shook off my confusion and leaned forward and kissed Maureen on the forehead. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong at all. I just really enjoyed watching you do that.” I had to be honest. Honesty and trust were going to be anchors for us going forward.
“Really?! Better than when you watched Shelly?”
I didn’t know why it was better, it just was. Perhaps it was because it was my sister. Perhaps it was because she was concerned that she did it better than Shelly. Perhaps all the years of masturbating was causing my natural sex instinct to develop quicker. It didn’t matter, it was now my turn, and I owed it to my sister and myself to come through.
I stood up next to her bed and turned to face her. Maureen watched as I took my pajama shirt off, and then pulled my pants down around my ankles. My cock twitched as the cool air swirled around it. I took my hand and dragged my tongue across it, getting the lube I needed. I wrapped my hand around it and slowly began to slide it up and down. Maureen’s eyes were big as saucers and the expression on her face made it easier for me to get into the moment. My cock grew even larger as I tugged on it.
“Wow! It gets bigger!”
“I know! Weird huh?”
“I don’t know sissy. It always does when I touch it. It got big when I was watching you just now.”
“Can I touch it?”
It was the natural question to ask, the natural progression of events. Just as following Shelly into the bathroom was my natural instinct, Maureen’s was to satisfy her curiosity and touch her brother’s cock. It wasn’t sexual for her; we didn’t even know the concept. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have someone touch it besides me.
I moved closer to the bed and hovered over it. Maureen scooted over and with the tip of her index finger,
touched the head of my cock. It twitched as she touched it and she giggled. She dragged the tip of her finger all over my hard member and around my balls. Maureen was fascinated by it. She was discovering the differences between us and satisfying her desire to know about my body, as well as hers.
Her next move took me by surprise. She licked her palm, wrapped it around my cock and began to mimic what she had seen me doing. My 10 year old sister was being way more forward than I expected. She looked up at me and asked, “Like this?”
“Yes, exactly like that. “
It felt amazing. Maureen’s hand knew exactly where to touch and just how hard to squeeze. My sister was giving me a hand job like she had given a million before.
“That feels really good!”
I was enjoying this and probably way more than I should have. It was my sister after all. Somewhere inside, I knew that this was not behavior my parents would approve of, and that the two of us were sinning like nothing else before. But I really didn’t care. My sister was stroking my cock and it felt incredible.
“My wrist hurts, Joshie.”
I laughed and kissed her forehead. “I know. It made mine hurt too after the first few times. But it stops after you become a pro.”
I crawled into bed next to her. I licked my palm and began to stroke slowly. Maureen laid her head on my chest and watched. She would touch it as I slid my hand up and down. Her hair was all over my chest and I could feel her breath on my shaft. She was still moist from her sweat and her smell was intoxicating. Maureen had begun to touch herself again. We were both awash in pleasure. We may not have known anything about sex, but there was something primal inside us that triggered these sex-driven responses.
“Will you touch me Josh?”
My sister was asking me to masturbate her. I thought I was going to pass out from breathing so heavily.
“I don’t really know how.”
“I’ll show you.”
Maureen took my hand and rubbed it across her smooth, young pussy. It was warm and moist. She guided my fingers across it and rubbed my hand back and forth across it. After a few times, she let go and allowed me to explore her body. She reached over and began to rub my cock.
This was paradise. Nothing else mattered. Our parents could have blasted through the door and beat us both. We didn’t care. We were driven only by pleasure. We were making each other feel fantastic. My sister slid her hand up and down my firm cock and my fingers were exploring her pussy. Our breath and bodies were quivering uncontrollably as we became more and more excited. I looked over and saw that my sister had her eyes closed. I was watching her body rise up and down in rhythm with my fingers. We were having the best time. Finally, Maureen looked over at me.
“I’m getting close!”
Her voice shook as she tried to utter something else, but it was too late. We both climaxed together in an amazing explosion of joy. It seemed as though my cock twitched for hours. My sister was covered in wetness and looked beautiful to boot. She rolled over onto me and held on for dear life. Her body was quaking uncontrollably and tears were running down her cheeks. I asked if she was okay and she said that was the most wonderful feeling she had ever experienced. We were both incredibly relaxed. We laid there naked and rubbed our hands all over one another. I closed my eyes and was savoring every moment.
“Did we just do something really bad?”
“Probably, but it felt really good.”
“Can we do it again, tomorrow?”
I kissed the crown of her head. “Anytime, angel.”
The next thing I remember was waking up naked next to my sister. We had spent several hours playing with each other and must have passed out from sheer exhaustion and joy. Now the first few glimpses of morning sunlight were beginning to stream in through her blinds. Suddenly, I could hear the alarm clock from down the hall and I knew it would be a matter of moments before our parents would be in our rooms to wake us. I leapt out of Maureen’s bed and tugged at her. I told her mom was coming and helped her get back into her night shirt. I scooped up my pajamas from her floor and flew through the bathroom while franticly trying to pull them back on. I had just gotten my shirt back on when my bedroom door opened. Mom was surprised to see me up and awake, but I made up some story about a bad dream and it keeping me up. A lie. It would be the first of many I would tell to my parents. Mom slipped through the bathroom and got Maureen up. Satisfied that we were awake and were getting ready for school, she left and went downstairs to prepare breakfast. Amazingly, our dad had been called out on a coal train that night and went right past our rooms while we were masturbating. We had dodged more bullets than we knew. Maureen went racing into my room and was visibly upset.
“Did you get in trouble? “
“No, did you? “
“No, but I had to lie. “
“Me too. “
“Promise you won’t tell? “
“Will you? “
“No. Pinky promise? “
“Pinky promise. “
Maureen gave me a huge hug. I kissed her forehead and we went down to breakfast. I spent all day looking forward to that night.