I go about healing my heart with two special ladies.
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 14: Healing Hearts

In my last chapter, I had told you about trying to get on with my life. I still missed Carrie deeply but I knew her and Melissa were always with me in my heart. C & J Construction was back up and running smoothly other than, I was pulling my hair out over the bookkeeping. There was no way in hell I was going to hire another accountant to handle that end of our business again.

With a little help from Carrie, I found out what to do. I enrolled in a Business College in our town. I was going for an Associate Degree in Business and Accounting. I started to college in January 1983 where I had met a few new friends. They were Rod, Cathy, Kay and her sweet 10-year-old daughter Sherri.

Kay’s daughter Sherri reminded me of how Melissa may have been like. Kay reminded me of Carrie. When I first met, Kay I was scared of the feelings that had came over me. I had not showed any feelings toward another woman in three years and suddenly I had fallen for Kay.

Was it because of those lovely blue eyes of hers that I longed to look into again? Was I attracted to her just because of her scent? Was it her lovely smile as she looked at me? What was it about this woman that made me want her? Then the answer or at least I thought the answer came into my head. However, it was in the form of a question to me. Was I trying to make Kay fit the same mold Carrie had came from?

I would highly suggest you read my past chapters to follow my story a bit easier. You will also get a better idea of the type of man I am and read about my life up to this point and time.

I finally got up enough nerve to ask Kay to dinner. Well really, the way it happened was that I had just gotten my income tax check. Kay had jokingly asked me, “When are you taking me to dinner?”

Well I took the lovely and charming Kay to dinner. We sat for almost five hours talking that night. I learned that she had been married twice and both were disasters. Her first husband was abusive to her and to Sherri. Her second marriage was a mistake from the beginning. Kay had moved from Colorado to her moms to start fresh. I also saw hidden terror in her eyes as we talked that night. That look of fear that I knew so well. Kay’s fears were of men. They had mistreated her to the point that she now feared men including me.

At first as we talked, I grew weary of starting any type of a relationship with her. However, those deep lovely blue eyes eased my thoughts. Her smell was like Carrie’s and I longed for that. Her sweet little daughter Sherri tugging on my pant leg then giving me a hug as I bent over to her level as she whispered into my ear, “I hope my mom likes you.”

All those factors played a role in me falling for her. I knew that it was going to be hard if not impossible to get through the barrier of mistrust she had built up toward men. I knew I was going to have to take small steps with Kay and not rush things with her for fear of losing her.

Our first date ended that night with me kissing her hand as I said, “Thanks for an enjoyable evening,” before I jumped back into my truck and I drove away.

I believe that Kay thought that I was going to kiss her goodnight however I thought the kiss of her hand would mean more not only to her but to me as well. I had a restless night of sleep that night as thoughts of Kay were on my mind. I kept telling myself that it was she; I was falling for not just a likeness of Carrie.

After some soul searching on my part while fishing at the lake, I made up my mind as to what I was going to do. Come Monday I was ready to pursue a relationship with Kay. My first step was to show her that I was interested in her. I brought her one red rose, which I gave to her the morning before class started.

“For you Kay thanks for an enjoyable evening,” I said to her before I walked away to our first class.

When Kay walked into our class she kissed me lightly on my cheek as she said, “Thank you John you are so sweet.”

I had not really thought much about the meaning behind giving her a single red rose at the time. However, Kay and I became friends at school as well as away from school. It was mostly just helping each other with our schoolwork. I would drive over to her place to help her if she asked. Whenever I did, I always brought along a small gift for her daughter Sherri. I had found out she loved stuffed bears so I started to bring her one anytime I went over there.

I had been seeing Kay for around two months, not every day but enough. During those two months, we held hands every now and then but I had not even kissed Kay yet. I do not know if it was because I thought she was not ready or maybe because I was not ready. Then one day after school, I had some work to do at the office.

I was working in my office when Terri walked into my office I gave her a big smile when I saw her. I had not seen her for the last two months only having talked to her on the phone a few times. Terri was worried that I would carry my grief and heartache over losing Carrie and Melissa forever.

“I just stopped by to check up on you John it has been a while,” Terri said as she walked into my office.

Terri stopped dead in her tracks at the doorway to my office. I looked up from my paper work smiling at her again before I went back to work. Terri just stood there looking at me in wonder as she stared at me.

“What Terri?” I asked looking up at her again.

“John you’re smiling, your eyes are shining bright,” “You should have went to college years ago,” Terri, replied smiling as she came over to my desk.

Terri wrapped her arms around me as she kissed me on my lips. I was not really thinking when I kissed her back. Terri broke our kiss as she backed away from me.

Terri gave me a funny look as she asked, “John, why did you just kiss me like that?” Terri did not give me time to answer her before she added, “You met someone didn’t you,” as a smile came to her face.

Terri sat down on the corner of my desk as I told her about meeting Kay. I went on about how she had those same lovely blue eyes, the same smile and even the same scent as Carrie. I told her about Kay’s sweet little daughter Sherri and how she had tugged at my heart as I thought of Melissa when I had saw her. I was smiling and laughing as I told her about them. I even told her about giving Kay a single red rose the next day in school.

“A single rose means you’re in love,” Terri said. Then she asked, “Are you in love with Kay or an image of Carrie?”

I just sat there behind my desk thinking. I did not say anything as I had asked myself that same question repeatedly in my mind. I was thinking more about that single rose and if it really did mean that to me.

Terri no longer was smiling as she said, “John, you can never replace Carrie and Melissa.” “John listen to yourself you are falling for an image of someone you lost.”

I sat back into my chair as my own smile washed from my face. The phone rang in my office. I just sat there looking off into space. Terri answered the phone and handed it to me as she told me it was for me.

“Hello,” I said into the phone.

“John, would you tell me who answered the phone up in your office?” Kay asked on the other end.

“Just a friend,” I replied not knowing really how to explain Terri to Kay.

I should have came out and told her the truth. All I would have had to tell her was; that Terrie was my deceased wife’s cousin. No, I had to go and say something stupid like just a friend making it sound as if I was hiding something.

“Well I see that you are busy so I will not trouble you again,” Kay said with hurt in her tone as she hung up the phone.

“John was that her?” Terri asked.

“Yes and I just made my first mistake with her,” I replied.

Terri looked at me with her head tilted to the side as she asked, “What was that?”

“I lied to her,” I replied as my hand rubbed at my fore head.

“I did not mean to upset you John really I didn’t,” Terri said with pleading eyes.

“I know what you were saying about falling for the likeness of Carrie,” I replied as I took hold of her hand and I sat her down in my chair. “Let me explain my thoughts to you,” I added as I patted at her hand with mine.

I know Kay is not Carrie as there will never be another like her ever. Kay’s blue eyes are her own eyes filled with fear and mistrust. Her eyes are not like the understanding that I saw in Carrie’s eyes everyday of my life. Kay’s smile is just that a lovely smile not the smile I always loved to see and to put on Carrie‘s face.

“I have not figured out why their scent is alike however, I will in time,” I said to her. I added, “Now as to Sherri her daughter I never got the chance to hold my own daughter on my lap so I cannot compare the two of them.”

“Terri, you told me someday I would have to open my heart to another woman,” I said as I paused for a second. Then I added, “Well it was her little girl Sherri that opened it for me and for Kay.”

“John, I am sorry I should have known you would have already questioned yourself on falling for her only because she reminded you of Carrie,” Terri replied looking sadly at me then smiling.

Terri picked up the phone and she handed it to me as she said, “Call her back John.” “Tell her the truth.”

I stood there shaking my head no as I replied, “It will not matter now.”

“You never learned from your past mistakes have you John,” Terri said pushing the phone toward me as she smiled.

I took the phone from Terri and I called Kay back. I came right out and I told her the truth. I asked her to forgive me for not telling her the truth that Terri was Carrie’s cousin and that she had just stopped by to see how I was getting along.

“John, you don’t own me any explanations.” “But it was sweet of you to think that you did.” Kay said to me on the phone. Kay added, “I was just having some car troubles and I was going to ask you to look at it but I will just call the garage.”

“I would be happy to come over right now to look at it if you will let me,” I replied to her.

“If your not to busy,” Kay replied.

I told Kay I would see her in a bit, as I hung up the phone. I turned to Terri as I said, “Thanks Terri you may have just saved me a lot of heart ache,” as I smile to her.

Terri came over and she kissed me on my cheek as she replied, “That’s OK John If I remember right I owed you one.”

I walked Terri to her car where I said, “Thanks again,” as I kissed her on her forehead.

Terri smiled, as her hand brush against the side of my face as she replied, “Be sure to let your heart guide you John.”

It was strange but as Terri pulled away I had the feeling I would never see her again. At the time, I did not know how true that was to be. Terri would return into my life later down the road but for now, it was until we meet again as she drove away.

I drove over to Kay’s but not before, I stopped to pick up flowers. I also picked up a stuffed bear for Sherri. The flowers were not for Kay however, they were for her mom. I soon arrived at Kay’s where her mom left me into their house.

I handed her the flowers as I said, “These are for you,” smiling at her as I handed them to her.

“For me,” Her mom replied. She then looked to Kay as she added, “You better move fast on this one before he gets away,” as she turned back to me smiling.

I saw that Sherri was sitting next to her mom so I went over to her and I said, “And this young lady is for you,” as I pulled the bear out from behind my back.

Sherri’s little face lit up as if it was Christmas or something as she took the bear and replied, “Thank you John.” Sherri showed her bear to Kay as she added, “Look mommy I got another bear.”

Kay smiled at Sherri, and then she smiled at her mom. Kay’s head then turned to me from the sofa. She smiled at me as those lovely blue eyes sparkled. I only saw joy and happiness in her eyes that time as I stared into them.

I smiled at Kay as I said, “As for you,” “You get the use of my skillful hands,” as I held them up to her.

“Now that is something you better not pass up,” Kay’s mom yelled with a laugh.

“MOM,” Kay yelled back.

I had not meant it that way. I had meant for my hands to be used working on her car. The three of us laughed about it between ourselves.

I asked Kay for her keys to her wonderful piece of shit car. It was one of those damn wonder cars. You all know what I am talking about as we all have had one of them in our lifetimes. You know the ones where we wonder if it was going to start or wonder how much longer it was going to last. In Kay’s case, it was an old falling apart Chevy Vega. The dam thing burnt more oil than it used in gas.

I looked it over and I found that the starter had gone out. I ran down to the auto part store got a new starter and replaced the bad. It fired right up when I turned the key. Kay came outside when she heard it start.

Kay came over to me and she asked, “How much do I owe you for the starter and your time?”

“Nothing, you do not owe me anything,” I replied.

Kay gave me that look only she has as she said, “John I can’t let you…”

I stopped her as I pressed my fingers lightly to her lips as I replied, “Then you owe me another dinner only this time I want you cook it for me,” as I smiled at her.

Kay wrapped her arms around me giving me a hug as she said, “OK that’s a deal.”

Kay took me back inside and she showed me where the bathroom was so I could wash my hands. I was standing there washing my hands when I looked into the mirror and I saw Sherri standing there with her bear in one hand watching me. I turned to her as I dried my hands off. Sherri pointed her little finger out to me motioning me to come down to her level, which I did.

Sherri whispered into my ear, “You made mommy cry but her tears were happy ones.”

Sherri skipped away from me before I could ask her just what she meant. I walked back out into the living room to see Kay sitting on the sofa. Her mom was sitting with Sherri on her lap in a chair. Sherri slipped from her grandma’s lap walking over to me where she grabbed a hold of my hand as she took me over by her mom.

Sherri tilted her head far back as she looked up to me as she said, “You sit here John.” She waited until I sat down then walked over to her grandma and took hold of her hand as she said, “Come on grandma lets watch TV in your room.”

Kay’s mom smiled at me as she took a hold of Sherri hand. Sherri looked back to us flashing the cutest little smile I had ever seen. They walked from the living room leaving Kay and I alone. I reached over and I took a hold of Kay’s hand. I started to tell her how sorry I was again for not telling her the truth about who had answered the phone. However, she pressed her finger to my lips.

Kay looked into my eyes as she said, “I believe you John there is no reason to explain,” “The truth shows in your eyes,” as Kay stared deeply into mine.

“Speaking of eyes,” I replied as I stared into hers. “Care to talk about the fear in your eyes?” I asked.

“It shows that much,” Kay said as she turned her head from me.

I turned her face back toward me as I said, “Sometimes it helps if you talk about your fears.”

Kay started with how both her ex-husbands had treated her like dirt. They had made her feel as if they were always right and she was always wrong. It started with verbal abuse they it turned physical. I put up with it because they had made me feel as if I had it coming.

When my first husband turned his abuse toward Sherri, I had enough and I walked away from him and my marriage. I met my second husband who I thought I loved, as he was different. He told me he loved me and would never treat me as my first husband had. I should have known better because he turned out to be lazy, non-supportive, as well as abusive just as my first husband had been.

Kay started to cry as she said, “I do not know if I can ever trust a man again or if I even want too,” as she turned back away from me.

I turned her face back to mine and I saw the tears rolling from those lovely blue eyes. The tears she cried were for herself and for Sherri. Kay had every right to shed those tears. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her head tightly against my shoulder. I rubbed my hand on her back.

“Let it go Kay, let it all out as I just hold you in my arms,” I whispered into her ear. “Cry all your fears away,” “Close your eyes and open your heart,” “I am here and no one will ever harm you again,” I added as held her tight.

Kay sobbed and cried away as I held her. Kay probably did not think I meant those words I had just said to her and I can understand why. However, I meant every word for as long as I was there I was going to see that no harm would ever come to her or to Sherri.

A feeling of the purpose of being, of need and warmth over came me as I held Kay in my arms much like the feeling I always got when holding Carrie. The feeling of me needing Kay as much as she needed me entered my soul. Kay may have thought I was giving her comfort however, in reality she was giving it to me; she just did not know it at the time.

I rubbed at her back some more as I said, “Hush, hush my love or the creatures of the night will get you.”

Those words just came out of my mouth. I had not thought at all about them as they came from my lips. Those words seemed to echo inside my mind after I had said them. For the life of me, I do not know why I had said those words to her.

Kay pulled herself a little ways from me as she stared deeply up into my eyes as she asked, “What did you just say John?”

“Never mind,” I replied as I pressed my lips lightly to hers.

I waited to feel her response to my lips upon hers. I felt her arms slipping around me. Our lips were soon locked in a deep long passionate kiss. Kay’s kiss was intoxicating to me as our lips pressed tighter. I felt Kay slipping her tongue against my lips as we kissed. I opened my mouth taking her tongue into my mouth. We kissed passionately on the sofa like that for over an hour.

Kay broke our kiss as she nervously asked, “Would you like to do something else,” as she turned her head from me looking to the floor.

I turned her head back to me as I replied, “Lets hold off on that for while right now just let me hold you in my arms,” as I pulled her head back against my shoulder.

I wrapped my arms around her once more. Kay cried lightly into my shoulder for a few more minute as I held her tightly. All the time telling her, every thing would be OK.

“Thank you John you’re so understand,” Kay said as she turned her head onto its side onto my chest. “You are unlike any man I have ever met,” “You made me cry earlier tonight when you gave my mom flowers and Sherri that bear,”
Kay added.

“I know Sherri told me I made her mom cry but that they were happy tears,” I replied as I rubbed my hand at her back once more.

“SHE told you John,” “That girl sure does like you,” Kay said softly as I held her.

I sat there with Kay for most of the night. Talking about her fears and telling her that she need not fear me ever. I was not sure she believed me; in fact, I felt that she did not believe me but I understood why. At least I knew it was the truth for it had came from my heart at least I hoped it had when I told her.

When it came time for me to leave Kay walked me to the door. Kay wrapped her arms around me pulling me down to her. She kissed me deeply upon my lips.

Then she broke our kiss as she said, “Good night John and goodbye,” as she smiled at me.

I smiled back as I replied, “I will tell you good night Kay but I will never tell you goodbye for goodbyes are forever,” as I walked away.

Before I got to my truck and I turned back to the door to look at her. Kay was still standing there looking at me with her head tilted to the side. I saw that she was smiling happily, which made me smile as I drove away.

At college, the next day during lunch Kay asked me when I wanted her to cook that dinner she had promised me. I told her whenever she wanted too as I was free for her at any time. Rod happened to have been sitting with us that day.

“Dinner what dinner and what are we having?” Rod asked.

“Friday night at six o’clock you both are to be there and you bring Cathy Rod,” Kay said. Then she added, “I will make Taco pie,” as she smiled to us.

I did not want to sound stupid or anything but, I did not know what Taco pie was. I figured I was to find out come Friday night. However, come Friday after college I stopped by an on going project our company was in the middle of working. My men were having some problems with the build. I jumped in giving them a hand with it and I lost track of the time. I looked at my watch it was quarter after seven. I rushed to the nearest phone and I called Kay.

“I am sorry Kay I stopped at our build site and I lost track of the time,” I said to her. “Let me run home and shower then I will be over,” I added.

“Just come over as you are,” Kay replied.

“I am all dirty and sweaty,” I said.

“Well then I will know that you were working,” Kay replied.

I told her OK and I hung up the phone. I got into my truck and as I started to drive to her place. I realized from the tone in her voice that she might have not believed me that I was working. That was why she had told me to come over as I was. I had just pulled onto her street when I remembered I had forgotten to pick up a teddy bear for Sherri. I could not see turning all the way around to go get her one.

I pulled up into their driveway and I saw Sherri staring out their front window. She looked at me as I looked at her. I put my truck in reverse and I backed out onto the road. I drove back into town to pick her up a teddy bear. I then returned to their house where I went in but I left the bear out in my truck.

Kay met me at the door and she asked, “John was you here a little bit ago?” “Sherri told me she seen you pull in then back out,” Kay added giving me one of her looks.

“Yep that was me I forgot something.” I replied to Kay.

“See mommy I told you that was him,” Sherri said as she smiled to me.

I squatted down to Sherri’s level as I said, “You young lady were the reason I had to leave.”

“Me, why did I make you turn around?” Sherri asked.

“Run out to the front seat of my truck and you will find out why,” I said to her standing back up as I opened the front door to their house.

Sherri ran out to my truck and opened the door. She reached up into my truck and grabbed the stuffed bear I had brought her. The bear I had gotten her was the biggest bear they had in the store. It was a huge bear almost as big as she was. The bear covered most of her up as she walked back toward the house with her arms wrapped around it.

“JOHN, you went all the way back into town just to pick her up that bear,” Kay said inquisitively.

“I had too I saw her looking out the window when I pulled up and in my rush to get here I forgot to get her a bear,” I replied with a smile.

Sherri came walking in with the bear that she showed to her mom as she said, “Look mommy it is bigger than I am,” as she handed it to Kay smiling from ear to ear.

Sherri came over to me and she motioned me down to her level with her finger. She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck as she hugged me for a very long time before she whispered lightly into my ear, “Thank you John but I think you made mommy cry again.”

I looked up to Kay as Sherri was still hugging me. She was standing there holding the bear in one hand. I saw that she was wiping away her tears with her other hand.

“Your welcome Sherri and those are happy tears so she is allowed,” I whispered into her ear.

Sherri took the bear from Kay and she walked over to the sofa to show Rod and Cathy the bear. I stood back up and looked to Kay. She came over to me and she wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me down to her face. Kay gave me a quick kiss on my lips.

Then she said, “John, you are going to spoil that girl,” as she smiled at me.

“Those are my intentions,” I replied smiling back at her. “Now where is this Taco Pie?” I asked.

“Your too late buddy it is all gone; I ate it all,” Rod yelled laughably from the sofa.

“NO he didn’t John mommy saved you a big piece,” Sherri yelled as looked to me then back to Rod.

All of us got a big laugh how Sherri had said that and the look she had given to Rod. Kay walked out into the kitchen as I bent over to take my work boots off. As I did, I heard Cathy yelling at Rod. John takes his boots off so why do you not take yours off when you come into my house.

“Thanks buddy you got all the women on me now,” Rod yelled to me with a laugh.

Kay came back in from the kitchen and she stared at me then said, “You were working I see,” giving me a smile. Then Kay asked, “Don’t you have a change of clothes in your truck?”

“Yeah I always carry something,” I replied.

“Then go get them and you can take a shower here,” Kay said.

Sherri jumped from the sofa as she said, “I will go get them for you John.”

I told her they were in the bag on my front seat where she had gotten the bear. Sherrie walked out and I stood there waiting for her. Sherri seemed to be dawdling in the front seat before she finally came back to the house with my small bag. When she did, I saw that she had a long sad face as she handed me my bag and walked away not saying anything.

Kay took me into the bathroom where she turned the shower on for me. Kay stood there looking at me. I stood there looking back at her as well. I was not for sure what she had on her mind as I stared at her.

“Give me your work clothes and I will wash them for you as well,” Kay said.

I started to undress thinking that Kay would leave the room. However, she did not I slipped my pants off then my shirt. As I slipped, my shirt over my head I noticed that Kay was looking at the big X scar on the side of my chest. I turned so that my back was facing her and that scar was no longer in her view. I saw her in the mirror and the look on her face as she saw my other small scars on my back. The scars on my back rather looked like bullet holes, which were from the shrapnel I had taken in Vietnam.

I turned back around to facing her. I was standing there with just my boxer under ware on my body. I handed Kay my clothes, which she took into one hand. Kay held out her other hand. I stood there looking at her once more.

“Give me everything,” Kay said to me smiling.

I was not going to tell her no. I turned my butt toward her and I slipped my boxers down and stepped from them. I heard Kay say, “You got a cute butt John.”

I turned around facing her. I saw her eyes move down to my cock hanging down between my legs. Kay’s mouth opened then a smile came across it.

“MMmmm so it is true big hands and a big …” Kay said stopping at the word dick. “Now shower and your dinner will be ready when you are through,” she added walking from the bathroom.

I jumped into the shower as my cock started to get hard. I showered with a dam hard on which I finally got rid of by blasting myself with the cold water. I got dressed into a pair of jogging pants I had in the bag as well as a muscle shirt. I checked myself in the mirror the shirt came down low enough that you could see the X scar. However, my biggest fear was if I popped another boner, as I had no underwear to put under them to hide it.

I returned to the kitchen after I made sure to clean up after myself in the bathroom. Kay had my plate all ready as I sat down. I still was not for sure what Taco pie was but it sure was good. Sherri came walking into the room with her head down looking to the floor. She came over beside me and I could see that she was shuffling her foot against the floor.

“Sherri is something troubling you,” I asked.

She looked up to me as she replied, “You have a picture of a blonde woman pretty like mommy in your truck,” as she looked down to the floor. Then with her head down she asked, “Is she your girlfriend?”

I lifted her head up as I replied, “Yes that was my girlfriend who became my wife.” “Her name was Carrie she lives in heaven now,” as I fought back my tears.

I happened to look up and I saw Kay standing there in the doorway to the kitchen. Kay told Sherri to come with her and they both walked out of the kitchen. Rod and Cathy came out and they both sat down at the table as I finished eating.

“Damn that was tasty whatever it was,” I said to them. “Going to have to find out exactly what I just ate,” I added with a little laugh.

“It’s a Mexican dish just like a taco only baked in a pie,” Rod replied.

I noticed that Cathy’s eyes kept returning to the X scar at the side of my chest. Rod noticed her staring as well. Rod told her that was my scar from the Vietnam War. Cathy told me she did not mean to stare but she had never seen a perfect X like that.

“I thought it was a tattoo at first,” Cathy said. “That war caused a lot of scars,” She added as she looked to Rod.

“Scars heal sometime men don’t,” I replied hanging my head.

“Tell her the story John,” Rod said looking to me.

“Some other day maybe not today,” I replied as I smiled to them both.

Kay came out into the kitchen a few minutes later at least she had not heard anything we had talked about between us. I knew I was going to have to tell her about my past and about Vietnam however not today.

Kay took my hand as she sat down and she said, “John, I am sorry Sherri put you on the spot.”

I stopped her as I pressed my finger to her lips as I replied, “She was just curious that is how young kids are,” “I have nothing to hide from her as well as from you,” as I smiled to her.

Kay smiled as she rubbed her hand across mine as she stared into my eyes. I knew she was reading my eyes to see if I was telling her the truth. I saw her own eyes sparkle then a smile came across her face I knew she knew I was telling her the truth.

Kay looked over to Cathy as she said, “This man here cleaned up after himself in the bathroom,” as she took my hand into hers.

“Be nice if another man would pick up after himself,” Cathy replied looking to Rod.

“Well maybe John will come over and give you a hand,” Rod said jokingly.

“Well, he does have big hands,” Kay said smiling to her then laughing.

I pulled my hand from hers as Cathy started to laugh then I started to laugh. Rod sat there looking at us as if we all were crazy. Then Cathy whispered into his ear what we all were laughing at.

“Well my hands are not exactly small,” Rod replied which made us all laugh again.

“Yeah I will vouch for him on that,” Cathy said as she gave Rod a kiss.

The four of us sat out playing cards in the kitchen into the night. It came time when Kay had to go tuck Sherri into bed. Sherri came in, she told us all good night before her, and Kay walked upstairs. Kay came back down into the kitchen in a few minutes and she looked to me.

“John, I hate to trouble you but Sherri wants you to tuck her in,” Kay said to me.

Kay walked me upstairs to her bedroom and then left as I stood outside Sherri’s door. I wished Kay had not just walked away as I did not really know what I was supposed to do. I stood there thinking back to how my mom would tuck me in at night. I felt panic coming over me as I could not remember how she used to do it.

I was on my own as I walked over to Sherri who sat up in her bed. She threw her arms around my neck hugging me tightly. Sherri laid back down into her bed and I pulled her covers up to her chin. I tucked her bed covers around her.

“Did you say your prayers?” I asked her.

“Yes one for grandma, one for mommy, one for you and I also said one for Carrie I didn’t think you would mind,” Sherri said before she laid her head upon her pillow.

I fought back my tears as I rubbed at her head as I said, “Good night sweet child and have no fears for I know an angel who walks with us and she is here and always near.”

I left her room and I stood at the top of the steps for a while. I had to gather my emotions for that little girl had tugged deeply at my heart. I returned to the table and sat down. Rod, Cathy, and Kay all looked at me and just stared.

I wiped my forgotten tears from my eyes as I said, “Must have gotten something in my eyes.”

“Sure Buddy sure that’s all it was,” Rod replied smiling at me.

We went back to playing cards until well after midnight. Rod and Cathy left to go home. Kay and I sat on the sofa for a while before I too made my way home. Kay thanked me at the door for tucking in Sherri.

“Sherri has never asked for anyone else to tuck her into bed except for me until now,” Kay said. She rubbed her hand to the side of my face as she added, “I believe she sees just how special you are,” before she kissed me good night.

I drove home and I went right to bed. I cried myself to sleep that night over that little sweet girl Sherri. She did not know it but I was not special it was her that was special to me. I cried because someday I may have to tell this special little girl that the man she thought was special once carried demons in his pockets.

I awoke Saturday morning still troubled about last night. I had not cried myself to sleep since losing Carrie. I sat at my table drinking my morning coffee looking around me to see if my demons had returned as well. I sat there wondering just what was happening to me. My emotions had been getting the best of me lately. I feared I was slipping back to where I would soon be having nightmares and flashbacks of Vietnam again.

I sat there worried and wondering what I should do. I sat there as the morning sun crept across my kitchen. I had seen it peering in through the kitchen window. I watched as it crept across the counter top then across the floor.

It slowly crept up the leg of the kitchen table. The sunlight crept slowly across the kitchen table top toward where I sat. The light seemed to jump from the table and up onto my chest as I sat there. My body filled with the warmth of the suns morning rays. I sat there as I filtered out all the sounds around me.

I sat there with the bright sun beating down onto my bare chest. I listened as no sounds filled my ears. I heard nothing but the empty silence. I sat there listening on as the sun warmed me.

I suddenly heard “lub then dub” begin to fill my ears. It grew louder as it went on repeatedly in my ear “Lub-dub,” “Lub-dub,” “Lub-dub.” I looked down to the sunlight bearing down onto my chest. I smiled to myself for I knew why I had cried myself to sleep last night.

It was not the return of my demons. It was the ice melting away from my heart. It all happened because a sweet little girl had asked me to tuck her into her bed at night. The “Lub-dub,” It was my own heart beating that I heard as the sun’s morning light melted away that last piece of ice around my heart.

I heard a voice in my head; I would love to tell you that it was Carrie’s voice. However, I believe in reality it was mine own that said, “Your heart is free now.” “Let your heart guide you once more.”

The ringing of my phone took me away from the sunlight. However, warmth filled me once again when I answered the phone. It was Kay on the other end of the phone.

“John, are you OK?” Kay asked into the phone.

“Yes, why do you ask?” I replied with wonder.

Kay said, “I just sensed something when you left last night and also just now as I sat at the kitchen table and the morning sun hit me.”

“Did you hear Lub-dub, Lub-dub and Lub-dub?” I asked Kay on the phone.

“No, all I heard was my own heart beating,” Kay replied.

I gave a little laugh as I replied, “I am just fine and so are you.” “May I see you later today?” I asked then added, “I have to go to my office to do some paperwork but I should be done by noon.”

“I would like that,” Kay replied then told me that she would see me later.

I went to my office and caught up on some paperwork. Frank was there as well. Frank kept poking his head into my office from time to time. I finally asked him if he had something on his mind. Frank came into my office and he closed the door behind himself.

Frank looked at me seriously, as he said, “Boss you been really happy lately.” He paused then he asked, “You’re not hitting that nose candy again boss?”

I gave a laugh and a smile as I replied, “Not at all, I just met a couple of people who make me happy as of late that’s all.”

Frank smiled as he asked, “So what is her name?”

“Kay and the sweetest ten year old girl I ever met named Sherri,” I replied smiling to him.

“So that is who all the teddy bears were for on the company card,” Frank said with a smile.

I looked at him from my desk smiling as I replied, “Don’t you have some work to do?”

“Yes sir Boss,” Frank said. He added, “I got a call from the Small Business Association, they wanted to know if we were going to do the business seminar happening in a few weeks.” “I told them yes but I now see that I have an appointment that day so you are going to have to handle it.”

“Frank, you know I hate…,” “Never mind I know someone to help me,” I replied smiling.

“I bet you do Boss, I bet you do,” Frank said as he walked out of my office smiling.

I finished my paper work told Frank not to work to hard as I went out the door. I drove through town heading for the toy store when I decided not to pick her up a teddy bear this time. I went to the jewelry store instead. I walked in and I looked around until I saw a lovely gold heart on a necklace. I thought that since Sherri had given me my heart back I was going to give her one. I purchased that and a little something else.

I drove on over to Kay’s house. Kay had run to the store however, her mom left me in to wait for her. I saw Sherri sitting out at the kitchen table. I walked in and I asked her what she was doing.

“Homework for school,” Sherri replied smiling at me.

“I did not bring you a bear,” I said to her as she worked on her homework.

Sherri smiled up to me as she replied, “That’s OK John you don’t have to buy me stuff all the time.”

I said, “I did not bring you a bear I did not say I did not bring you anything,” as I walked over to her giving her the little box.

Sherri opened the box and she screamed, “It’s beautiful John,” as he took it from the box.

I placed it around her neck hooking it up as I said, “I give you this heart because you gave me mine back to me.”

“Now what have you brought that girl?” I heard Kay ask as she walked into the kitchen with bags in both hands.

“Nothing,” I replied as I took the bags from her.

“Look mommy what John gave me,” Sherri screamed showing her the gold heart on the necklace.

Kay looked at it and she turned to me as she yelled, “JOHN,” as she handed me the price tag that I had forgotten to take off.

Kay grabbed me by my hand and dragged me out the front door. “JOHN that necklace cost $200.00 dollars I can’t let her keep it.”

“Why can’t you Kay?” I asked looking into her eyes.

“Just because that’s why,” Kay replied turning her head from me.

“Is it because I did not get you one?” I asked with a smile as I turned her face back toward me.

“NO JOHN, that is not it at all,” Kay angrily replied.

“Good because I got you this,” I said as I handed her a long narrow box.

“JOHN,” Kay yelled.

Kay started to say something but I pressed my fingers to her lips as I said, “Just open it.”

Kay opened the box. Inside was a diamond tennis bracelet. I saw the diamonds reflect in her lovely blue eyes. I could not tell if the diamonds were sparkling or whether in was her lovely blue eyes. I took it from the box and I fastened it around her wrist.

“John, I can’t take this it had to cost you too much,” Kay said as she looked to her bracelet then to me.

I took my hand and I placed it under Kay’s chin as I said, “Look into my eyes Kay and tell me what you see.”

Kay stared deeply into my eyes as she replied, “I see happiness.”

“Happiness is priceless and that is what you two give to me,” I said as I took her into my arms.

I saw Sherri standing at the door smiling at me then looking down at her heart necklace. I smiled to her as I held her mom tightly in my arms. I heard Kay whisper into my ear.

“You make us happy as well,” Kay said. She paused then added, “However I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

I broke my hug as I looked deeply into her eyes. I saw the look of fear grow in her eyes as I stared into them. Those lovely sparkling blue eyes seemed to grow dim and fade away as I stared into them.

“Someday Kay you are going to have to open your eyes and your heart to me,” I said softly to her.

“I know John, I know and I am really trying,” Kay replied.

“Let me help you get these groceries into the house then I have a favor to ask you,” I said.

Kay gave a little smile as she replied, “Beware of Greeks baring gifts but then your not Greek so we should be safe,” as she looked at her bracelet again.

Once we had the groceries into the house. I helped her and Sherri put them away. Well I mostly got in their way, as I knew where nothing went. I also told Kay about the business seminar. It was just to highlight our local small businesses and for the community to get to know about us. I also would be taking applications from those seeking work.

“Can I fill one out?” Kay asked jokingly.

“You know what how about if you came and worked for me?” I asked.

“John, I know nothing about your business,” Kay replied.

“All the more reason for you to work the seminar with me,” I said smiling at her.

“I have nothing to wear,” Kay replied as she stocked the cabinets in the kitchen.

I looked down to Sherri who looked up to me as I said, “Then let’s go shopping.” “All of us,” as I rubbed my hand through Sherri’s hair.

“Can we, mommy, can we,” Sherri screamed.

“JOHN,” Kay yelled shaking her head at me.

“Don’t worry about it I will deduct it from your first paycheck,” I said jokingly. I added, “Besides I can show you some of my past projects.”

“OK but I am going to pay you back someday,” Kay replied.

The three of us hopped into my truck and to the different malls around in our area, we went. I showed Kay which ones we had built or helped to build. I knew of a mall up by the lake, which had the two specialty stores I was looking for. One was a business attire place the other was a skating shop.

There was just one small problem with going to that mall. I would have to drive by that house where Carrie’s and my love grew there on the lake. I drove by it not daring to look.

“Look mommy that house you always told me that you liked,” Sherri said to her mom as they both looked to it as I drove by.

I came to those railroad tracks and I came to a complete stop as I looked to Kay I said, “Please always stop and look both ways.”

“I will John always,” Kay replied reaching over and brushing her hand against my face.

It was lunchtime when we got to the mall by the lake. The three of us went into the courtyard at the mall for some lunch. The three of us were sitting there when Sheriff Steve and his woman deputy Gail walked by us. I hoped he had not seen me sitting there. I never was very lucky.

“Well I’ll be damned if it isn’t SGT. J,” The sheriff said as he came back to our table.

I stood up and I shook his hand as I said, “Just John please sheriff.”

“Haven’t seen you for ages folks around here said you up and did yourself …,” the sheriff got out before I dragged him away from our table.

I gave Deputy Gail a pleading look as I scooted the sheriff away. She knew what I wanted, she walked over, and she talked to Kay and Sherri while I talked with the sheriff. I got things squared away with the sheriff and we walked back to our table.

“Mommy, are they going to take John to jail?” Sherri asked looking to Kay then to the sheriff.

“No sweetie just good friends with Sgt, I mean John,” The sheriff replied. “Now you stop by and see me soon John the county is going to add onto to our office and I know you will give us a fair price,” Sheriff Steve said. He then tilted his hat to Kay and Sherri as he added, “You two have a special man there you two take good care of him,” before him and deputy Gail walked away.

“Why did he call you Sgt. J John,” Kay asked.

“I was a Sgt. in the Army during Vietnam,” I replied staring at her.

“You never told me you were in Vietnam John,” Kay said looking into my eyes. Kay stared into them for barely a second before she added, “I see you would rather not talk about it,” as she turned from my eyes.

“Kay I will tell you later just not here,” I replied looking down to Sherri.

“Oh right John,” Kay replied giving me a smile.

“Right now let’s get back to shopping,” I added to get myself on to something else.

I took Kay to the business attire shop where I had to use all my charm to get her to let me buy her this pin stripe pant and jacket set for her that she liked. She only allowed me too if I would let her pay me back for it.

I walked them down to the skate shop where Sherri pressed her face against the glass. Kay looked at me shaking her head no. I looked at her shaking my head yes. The three of us walked into the store and a salesperson asked if she could help us.

“Three pair of the best skates on the market, mine are twelve’s,” I said to her. I turned to Kay and Sherri as I said, “Tell the nice lady your sizes as well.”

We sat down waiting on the salesperson to come back. Sherri was smiling and you could see the excitement on her face. Kay looked to me and she gave me a long hard look.

“John thank you for making her happy,” Kay said as she wiped a lone tear from her eye. “So you have big feet as well as large hands Kay added smiling at me.

I smiled as I replied, “I know how to ice skate so roller skating should come easily.”

It was around five or six in the afternoon before I got them back home that Saturday Kay asked, “Care to join us for dinner?”

“How about the three of us grab a pizza at the skating rink,” I replied smiling at her.

“John,” Kay said giving me one of her looks.

“Come on Kay we got to try out our skates,” I replied smiling.

“Please mommy can we please,” Sherri cried out.

“OK but we both are cleaning your office for you tomorrow understand,” Kay said as we got out of the car.

The girls ran in and changed into some skating clothes. I sat waiting for them in the living room talking to her mom. Her mom told me that she had not seen them both this happy for many years. She also told me that I had to be patient with Kay for she would try to find any reason no matter how small to make herself believe I was not true to her.

“I am trying,” I replied. Then I asked her, “How about you come join us skating?”

Her mom laughed as she replied, “I am to old for that but you kids go have fun.” Kay’s mom came over and she kissed me lightly on my cheek as she said, “Thank you for bringing some joy and happiness back into their lives.”

Kay, Sherri and I climbed into my truck and off to the roller skating rink we went. I soon found out that roller skating was not like ice-skating at all. Kay and Sherri were already out on the floor skating as I step out onto the rink holding onto the rail for dear life.

I stood there watching people skating by and it did not look that hard after all I could ice skate. The next time Kay and Sherrie came around; I went to skate toward them. Both my feet went out from under me and I came crashing down hard onto my ass.

Kay and Sherrie both were standing beside me laughing like hell as they helped me to stand back up. They had to catch me again. Then I grabbed the rail when it almost happened a third time.

“Just like ice skating you said John,” Kay said smiling at me.

“It is my butt always hurt after ice skating too,” I replied smiling back.

The two of them gave me a quick lesson. With their help, I was soon skating around with them nothing fancy but at least I was not busting my ass anymore. The three of us skated then we shared a pizza. Sherri skated with some of her friends as Kay and I sat together.

Kay grabbed my hand as we sat there and she said, “John thank you for doing something where Sherri could join us,” “She is the happiest I have seen her in a long while.”

I smiled at Kay as I replied, “You both have made me the happiest I have felt in a long time.”

Kay looked into my eyes and she rubbed her hand at the side of my face as she said, “John, you would have made a wonderful father to your daughter and she would have been proud of you.”

Sherri came over and she grabbed my hand as she yelled, “John come skate with me and my friends.”

I looked to Kay as I got up and she said, “She wanted you so I will sit this one out,” smiling at me.

I went out onto the rink skating with Sherri and all of her little friends. I believe they spent more time picking me up than anything else. However, we all were laughing and have fun. Some thing I had forgotten how to do. The next time around I skated over to Kay and we all dragged her back out with us so she too could join in on the fun. The night soon ended and I drove Kay and Sherri back to her moms.

I walked them both up to the door. Sherri motioned for me to bend over with her finger. I did and she hugged me and she gave me a kiss on my cheek.

“Thank you John I had fun tonight,” Sherri said as she went in closing the door behind her. A couple of seconds later she opened the door and she looked at her mom as she said, “Now you kiss him really good mom,” giving a little cute laugh as she closed the door again.

I stood there holding onto Kay’s hand as I asked, “Care to join me for a night cap,” “I know this nice little place not far from here.”

“OK John, let me get Sherri off to bed first,” Kay replied.

The front door swung open with Sherri and her grandma standing there as Kay’s mom said, “I will see she gets to bed OK you two run along.”

I drove Kay back to my place. I pulled into my driveway as I told Kay this is that nice little place I was telling you about that I call home. Kay smiled as I got out and I walked around opening the truck door for her. I walked her up to the front door.

I was unlocking the door I said, “The walls are mostly bare as I do not decorate well.”

I gave Kay a quick little tour of my little house. There really was not much to show her. The house had a fair size kitchen, a big living room with a nice fireplace. It also had a full bath, one medium size bedroom and one master bedroom with a bath in it. We ended the tour in the master bedroom.

“That is all there is to my little house,” I said to Kay.

“I am in the room I wanted to see,” Kay replied staring up into my eyes.

I wrapped my arms around her as she wrapped hers around me. My lips fell upon her lips as I kissed her deeply and with passion. Kay returned my kisses with the same passion that I had in mine. Kay slipped her tongue into my mouth as mine slipped into hers. Our tongues dance lightly on our tongues as we kissed. We stood there just kissing for some time kissing deeply and with passion.

I left my hand slip down to Kay’s butt. I grabbed at it with my hand pulling her body into mine. I felt Kay’s hand slip down to the front of my jeans. Kay rubbed at my cock, as it grew hard at the touch of her hand. I broke our kiss as I looked into her eyes.

“You sure you are ready Kay?” I asked staring deeply into her lovely blue eyes.

“Yes John if you are,” Kay replied staring back into my eyes.

I looked deep into her eyes and I only saw those lovely blue eyes and nothing more. I saw no fears, no worry just lovely blue eyes. I kissed her forehead and slowly worked my kisses down her face and onto her neck. I slowly unbuttoned the shirt she had on kissing at each spot of skin I uncovered as I did. I tossed her shirt gently onto the bed.

I kissed across the top of her tits, which her bra was pushing upward. I reached behind and unhooked her bra with one simple move of my hand. I slipped her bra from her freeing those lovely tits. Kay’s were simple perfect tits; they hung nicely on her chest. Her breasts were round and plump with nice thick nipples. I found out later Kay’s tits were 40c’s.

I kissed and licked my way slowly around each of her tits. Kay moaned softly as I did. Kay’s nipple grew hard instantly as my tongue licked at them. Kay was rubbing her hands on my head as I worked on her tits. I suckle one then the other. I licked between them with my tongue until Kay pushed my head away.

“My turn now,” Kay said seductively.

Kay pulled my shirt from my jeans. She rolled my shirt up over my abdomen kiss at my skin as she did. I bent over so she could remove my shirt, which she tossed next to hers. Kay ran her hands over my chest feeling my muscles as she did. Kay kissed and licked at my chest as she went from one side to the other.

“You have such a manly chest,” Kay cooed as she kissed at it.

Kay started to kiss her way down the front of me. Kay slipped to her knees when her kisses reached the top of my pants. Kay undid my belt then unsnapped my jeans. She unzipped my jeans pulling them down and off me as I stepped out of them. Kay tossed them up onto the pile of clothes we were building on the bed.

Kay rubbed her hand on my cock through the jockey shorts I had on. My cock was straining to bust out of them. Kay gave a little tug at my waistband, which made the head of my cock pop out and rise up against my abdomen.

“Mmm you are a big boy,” Kay seductively said looking up to me with a smile on her face.

Kay slipped her thumbs into the waistband of my shorts. She pulled them down exposing my hard throbbing cock. Kay left my shorts at my thighs as her hand shot to my cock. Kay wrapped her hand around and she skillfully jacked on my cock with her hand. Kay had my cock at its hardest. I felt her hand leave my cock.

“I have to check something,” Kay said as she reached for her purse on the bed.

Kay pulled out a little tape measure from her purse. Kay wiped it out as she measured my cock. I stood there wondering what she was doing.

“8 ¾ inches, large hands large cock,” Kay said smiling up to me.

I just smiled back as Kay wrapped her hand around my cock again. Kay pumped at it a few times before she pulled my shorts the rest of the way down. I stepped from them as she tossed them to the bed. Kay started to kiss and lick at my thigh. She did one side then the other one.

“AHHHh Kay,” I moaned out as she licked at the inside of my thighs working her way up.

I had never had a woman lick me as she was. Her tongue felt like silk as she glided it up my thigh. Kay started too licked at my balls as they hung down at her. Kay kissed at then and she played with them with her hands.

I felt her finger run across the head of my cock as my pre-cum dripped she wrapped her finger in it. Kay brought her finger to her mouth as she looked up to me. Kay sucked at her finger slowly as she ran it in and out of her mouth. Kay smiled teasingly at me as my cock danced before her face. My cock wanted to feel her mouth wrapped around it.

I bent down picking her up from her knees as I said, “My turn now.”

I unsnapped her jeans as my lips went to hers. I kissed her deeply as I undid her zipper. I kissed my way from her face down her chest to her abdomen until I was on my knees slipping her jeans down. Kay tensed up as her hand covered her belly. I saw that Kay had a few stretch marks on her abdomen. Kay had shyly covered them up.

I looked up to her, as I said, “Never cover the beauty of life giving,” as I pulled her hands away from her stretch marks.

I kissed and licked my way over them. I traced them with my tongue. I stayed at that spot until I felt her hands rubbing at my head. I slipped her jeans from her as she stepped out of them. I tossed them to the bed.

I turned back to look at her pussy. Red panties covered her pussy. I saw that hair was flowing from the sides and top of her panties.

“MMMmm hairy beaver just how I like them,” I said smiling up to her.

I kissed at her panties for a while. I then poked my tongue at the very bottom of her panties. My tongue tasted her wetness as I licked at it. I ran my hands lightly up the back of her thighs until I came to her ass. I buried my face into her panties and her bush as I inhaled the scent from her pussy.

Kay’s scent was like Carries however, it was twice as powerful. I grabbed her panties from behind her as I peeled them down her ass then down her thighs kissing and licking at those thighs. Kay stepped out of them as I worked them down to her ankles. I did not toss her panties to the bed instead; I spun her to a sitting position on the bed with her legs hanging off the bed.

I took her foot into my hand caressing it gently. I kissed and licked across the top of her foot. I started to run my tongue teasingly up the bottom of her foot.

However, Kay gave a little laugh as she cried out, “John I am ticklish there.”

“I will save that for later,” I playfully replied.

I licked and kissed her other foot before I slowly worked my tongue up her leg. I was kissing and licking as I moved up her leg. I got to her thigh where I kissed my way up then to the inside of her thigh. I dragged my tongue all over the inside of her thigh. I ran my tongue in little circles up to where her pussy hair was touching her thigh.

Kay was breathing fast and hard as I did soft moans escaping from her lips. I kissed my way across her pussy. I even stopped to run my tongue up between her pussy lips. Kay’s pussy lips opened like butterfly wings as my tongue parted them. I gave her pussy only a slow long lick tasting her wetness from it as I did.

“AHhhhh John,” Kay moaned loudly when I did.

I moved to her other thigh teasing it with my tongue as I had done her other one. I worked my kisses and my licks back up to her hairy wet open pussy. Kay’s pussy lips were full and bright pink as they lie to each sides of her hole. I could see juices running from her pussy hole.

I swept my hands under her thighs pushing her legs up and back. Kay’s juices were dripping down running to her cute little asshole. I licked at the juices between her pussy and her asshole. I pushed her thigh up higher giving my tongue access to her butt hole.

Kay’s hands went to where her knees met her thighs she pulled her thighs back even further. I licked feverish at her exposed cute little asshole. Kay moaned softly as I teased her asshole with my tongue. I moved my tongue up to her pussy. I traced my tongue around her pussy lips. I started to kiss at her pussy.

“AHhh John you’re going to make me orgasm,” Kay moaned out loudly.

I licked at her pussy as I felt her hands go to the back of my head. I lapped deeply into her hole with my tongue. I moved it side to side and in many directions inside her pussy. I started to jab my tongue in and out of her pussy.

“AHHHHh JOHN,” Kay screamed out as she pulled my head into her pussy.

I felt her thighs wrapping around my ears. I just kept tonguing at her pussy. Kay gasped as her orgasm came over her. Kay bucked her thighs and her pussy wildly against me. My face and my mouth where splashed with a torrent of her pussy juices as she orgasm on my face.

Kay left go of my head and I was able to catch my breath. Her whole pussy was soaking wet as was my face and the bed cover on the bed. I lightly lick at her pussy lips with my tongue. I slowly kissed at her pussy telling her how lovely and tasty her juices were to me.

I work my tongue up her pussy to her clit. Kay has a big clit sticking from the hood of her pussy. I flick my tongue at it. Each time I did, she jerked a little on the bed. I lick at it as I ease two of my fingers up into her pussy. My fingers rub against that fleshy spot in her pussy. I clamp my mouth around her clit and I start to suck at it as I rub at the inside of her pussy. Kay squirmed on the bed as I suck at her clit.

“AHHhh John what are you doing to me?” Kay screamed out questioning me.

I did not answer her as I curl my fingers up inside her pussy. I sucked harder at her clit. I pressed my fingers hard into her fleshy spot Kay started to grind her pussy onto my fingers.

“AHHHH shit,” Kay screams out.

Kay’s pussy sucked at my fingers then it lets go with a powerful and wet blast out her pussy juices. I hear her say that it feels like she might be peeing. I just bury my face into her pussy as her orgasm rocked her around the bed. I withdrew my fingers slowly from her wet juicy pussy. My fingers were dripping with her juices.

I give them a quick lick before I slowly kiss my way up her body. I stop at those stretch marks to once again lick and kiss at them before working my way on up to her tits and then to her face. Kay grabbed my face with her hands and she kisses and licks at my face.

I could feel my cock throbbing against her pussy. I reach down and I guided it into her pussy. Kay moaned loudly as I slip it slowly into her. Kay wrapped her legs around me and her arms around my neck as I slowly moved my cock in and out of her.

“AHHh your cock feels lovely John,” Kay moaned out between her kisses to my lips.

I start to fuck her a little deeper and faster. Kay closed her eyes as I reach back and pulled her legs up to my shoulders. She moaned softly as I feed her pussy all my cock with her legs upon my shoulders. I closed my eyes as I got into fucking her. I was not thinking of anyone but her as I felt her pussy gripping at my cock.

“AHHHHH KAY,” I scream out.

My cock throbs and twitches deep in her wet pussy. My balls draw in and out, as I pump cum deep into her pussy. I keep my cock moving in and out of her as I slip her legs from my shoulder. I look down into her face to see that Kay is crying.

I jump from on top of her as I ask, “Are you OK Kay?” “I did not hurt you did?” “Tell me you are all right,” I added with a pleading look on my face.

Kay is sobbing wildly as she wraps her arms around my neck. She pulls herself up from the bed. Kay looks into my face sobbing wildly. I am not for sure what I should do.

“John no one has ever make that sweet of love to me ever,” Kay said sobbing as she looks to me.

I take her into my arms as I replied, “Then they were all fools or just did not care about your feelings as I do.” I added as I held her tightly against me, “I thought I may have hurt you or something,” as tears rolled down my cheeks.

Kay pulls back from me and she stares into my tear-filled eyes as she replied, “John I am trying real hard not to fall in love with you.” “But you just make it so dam hard not too,” as she wipes my tears from my face.

I smile to her as I replied, “I will wait for your love however long it takes,” “Kay I am in love with you.”

“I know John I know,” Kay replies as she kisses me gently on my lips.

We both lie in bed together regaining our composure and then we got dressed. I walked her out to the living room and I ask her if she would like a glass of wine. I leave her in the living room as I go get us some wine. I find that I have no wine glasses only regular drinking glasses. I pour us some wine into them and return to Kay.

Kay is standing by the fireplace with my wedding picture in her hand; she turns to me and she asked, “Is this Carrie?”

“Yes that is her in all of those photos up there,” I replied.

“John she was very beautiful much more than I am,” Kay said as she places the photo down. Kay looks up to my medals in the glass case. Kay turns to me as she asked, “Are those medals you received in Vietnam?”

“Yes they are,” I replied sitting our wine down onto the table near the sofa.

“You must have been very brave as only brave men get medals,” Kay said as she looked up to the sign above the medals.

Kay turned back to me as she said, “So that is where you wedding ring went,” as she looks to it on the branch of the frame. “John you said those words to me once, Hush, hush my love or the creatures of the night will get you,” Kay added as she wrapped her arms around herself as if a coldness had came over her.

I walk over to her and I ask her if she is cold. Kay shakes her head yes to me. I take her over to the sofa and I tell her to sit here with her wine while I make us a small fire. I am building the fire and it takes off. I poke at it with the fire poker. I turn to Kay who is just staring at me.

“John what does that sign mean?” Kay asked. “Please John tell me, you told me that you would keep no secrets from me.”

I walked over grabbed my glass of wine and I returned to the fireplace. I looked to the sign, then to my medals. I took a sip of my wine before I sat it down on top of the mantel.

I turned to Kay and I said, “There are tissues beside the sofa if you need them.” “The story behind that sign and those words Hush, hush my love or the creatures of the night will get you,” “Started many years ago.” “It’s a story about a girl and a boy who had grown up together from birth.”

Kay sat there listening to the story of Carrie and me. I shared with Kay about our happy place Carrie and I shared. Where the moon dances on the water, where stars shine bright to many to count. A place you hear the gentle lapping of the waves crashing against the shoreline.

“When ever I felt lonely or afraid when I returned to Vietnam the second time I had our happy place to take myself to in my mind,” I said to Kay.

“I got careless one night when out on patrol with three other brave men,” I said to Kay as I reached up behind my medal case.

I pulled the letter from there and I read her the letter that my lieutenant had written to Carrie explaining what happened that night and how my love for her made me walk back to base even wounded as badly as I was.

“I lie in a hospital bed in Japan in a coma for close to three month lost in my dreams.” “Carrie never left my side watching over me praying and hoping I would return to her,” I explained to Kay.

I explained how Carrie helped me fight the demons I brought home with me from Vietnam. I informed Kay how my nightmares and flashback stopped as Carrie and I spent our days together at our house on the lake.

“That house Sherri said you liked the one we drove by today on the way to the mall.” I said to Kay as I looked into the fire. I turned back to Kay as I added, “That was once our happy little home on the lake.”

I did not tell Kay how we had turned it into “Carrie’s Place.” I was not for sure; whether she knew what swinging was or if she could understand the love and commitment, one must have to become involved in that kind of lifestyle.

I spoke to her of seeing those big red eyes in the woods to the east of our house. How they were not eyes but railroad crossing lights. How Carrie and my unborn daughter Melissa lost their lives at that very train crossing I had stopped at today.

I informed her how alone and afraid I felt with out Carrie. How much I hurt as my heart ripped from my chest. Because I knew, I could never hold Melissa or Carrie again in my arms.

“I challenged God himself one day standing on our dock shaking my fist at him telling him to take me during a raging thunderstorm,” I said to Kay looking sadly to her.

I explained to her how seeing my old fishing pole and this photo of Carrie and I holding up our fish together. I handed Kay the photo from the mantel as I explained about going to fish my way out to California. Just to watch the sunset because Carrie was from there and she had always said I would love them. How I got lost on my way and how I turned to drugs to deal with the demons that returned after her death. I told her of those three unfortunate bikers would had to face the monster that dwelt in my soul.

“I sat in a hotel bed in California sucking on the barrel of a 45.” “I was going to end it all just to be with Carrie,” I said to Kay as tears ran from both of us.

I poked at the fire as I said, “Carrie came to me that night in my hotel telling me to put the gun down.” “She told me she would not wait for me if I killed myself.” “Carrie did tell me that she never left me because she will always be in my heart."

I explained how I checked myself into rehab and got help for my other demons as well. I told her about returning home to find out that my accountant had pretty much wiped out our construction company. I explained how I ended up going to college all because Carrie’s diploma had fallen from the wall. I walked over to Kay as she sat on the sofa wiping away her tears with a tissue.

I looked down into her eyes as I said, “While at school I met this charming lovely woman who has this sweet little girl who unfroze my heart.”

Kay looked up at me and her lips trembled as she asked, “Could you please take me home John?”

This will end this chapter. I never would have told Kay that story if I knew she was going to say that to me. Please accept my apology for the length of this chapter. I just wanted to share with you how another had came into my life and opened my heart to where I was feeling happy about living once more. That was until my ears heard “Could you please take me home John?”

Find out what happens in my next chapter, which will be out soon. As always please leave me your comments and thanks for all the wonderful ones that I have received as well as for the care and the support you all have shown and offered. Big thanks to all my fellow vets for their comments for together we shall over come all as well as our own demons and fears.
Sgt. J

Anonymous readerReport

2015-09-13 13:39:20
Wonderful, amazing. It touched my soul. I reckon you should get this published. Though it seems more personal. Either way, this is a very good story.

Anonymous readerReport

2015-02-27 17:14:40
I don't know a time in my life when I have had to confront my monsters, head on. Reading your tale could cure me,or kill me who knows??however keep writing. Remember, the truth will set you free,I hope it works for me

anonymous readerReport

2013-06-25 20:24:29
so.... wait... what just happened when she said can you take me home? was that her saying " I don't want to hear this?" or saying "I feel to bad and must rest."

anonymous readerReport

2013-02-10 05:10:02
This is a great story and I can't stop reading it. I'm glad you heart opened up again and you found Kay and Sherri. Please keep writing.

anonymous readerReport

2012-06-13 14:09:07
Wow, even without the sex, this series is by far my favorite!

You are not logged in.
Characters count: