The week flew by quickly and soon I was due back at school. Courtney and I spent a lot of time togther during that week, although we were never alone long enough to repeat the encounter at the lake, as bad as I know we both wanted to. Courtney and Ashley dropped me off at the bus station, both of them waiting until my bus left. I was not sure of it but I sensed something was wrong with Ashley, she was unusually quiet. Just before I got on the bus, I gave her a hug and kissed her cheek gently.
“You ok Ashley ?’, I asked
“Uh.. Yea, I’m ok, sorry.”, she said, kissing my cheek.
I arrived back on campus later that night, the familiar confines of my dorm room were waiting for me. Since I was due back in the weight room early in the morning, I went to bed early. I began the grind early the next morning at six, then off to class, followed by practice that afternoon. That weekend we lost our first game of the year, in fact we were down right embarrassed by a very good team from Georgia,
35-7. Everyone had not even made it back to the locker room before Coach Ray, the defensive coordinator was out of control. He began to push players around violently, screaming at the top of his lungs.
“What the fuck kind of effort was that tonight ? You embarrassed yourselves in front of a national television audience and if you had any chance of a national title, it’s gone now. Some of you upper classmen gave me absolutely no fucking effort at all tonight. Since you just blew the entire season, I am going to the bench to play some guys that at least have the heart, fuck the experience.”, he growled.
As he stormed away from the defensive unit, he walked past me slamming his forearm into my shoulder pads, knocking me off balance. Since I had not played a single down during the game, I had no idea what that was all about. I showered and dressed quickly, heading back to the dormitory. The following week at practice was brutal, Coach was unrelenting. In fact I noticed several players beginning to get an attitude, I knew something bad was brewing. The effort in practice began to decrease as the week wore on, it was evident to everyone. By game day, everyone was on edge, no one was talking to anyone. This was the first time I had ever been on a team that was divided among itself. There was a small clique of players who honestly, thought they were a lot better than they actually were. The coaches knew it as well, but this was an extremely young team, he had little choice in having to play them up to this point. As the defense began to trickle in early to get taped up, Coach Ray met me in front of my locker.
“Brian, I want to apologize to you son, I did you a grave injustice.”, he said, lowering his head.
“I’m lost coach, what’s up ?”, I asked, confused.
“I should have played you this year, while you needed the year to get acclimated, you were ready emotionally to play. I cost you a year of eligibility. I hate to ask you this, but I want to start you tonight. The only problem is, if you play in the remaining two games, you lose your red shirt. You only have three years of eligibility left. I can’t tell you what to do, it’s your call son, let me know.”, he said slapping my back as he walked away.
I stood there kinda stunned, looking around the room. Several players had heard the entire conversation, they were eyeing me intently. I sat down and began to get taped up, my mind reeling with the possibilities. Was two games worth losing an entire year over ? I know my dad was emphatic about me not playing before I was ready. The problem was, I had no time to call anyone and discuss it, I had to give them an answer quickly. The trainer slapped my thigh breaking my trance, letting me know it I was done. I thanked him and jumped off the table. I made my way back to Coach Ray’s office and knocked on the door before opening it. All the coaches were seated, going over the last minute game plans.
“Yes Brian , what is it ?”, Coach Ray asked.
“Sorry to bother you Coach, but um…. You know what you just asked me a bit ago ?”, I inquired.
“Yes son ?”, he asked, all eyes focused intently on me.
“I’m in Coach, whatever you need, let me know. I’m good to go.”, I told him.
The large man smiled for the first time in a few weeks, leaning back in the small chair putting his hands behind his head.
“Thank Brian, I knew I could count on you. You’re excused.”, he responded.
I stepped out and quietly closed the door behind me, walking back to my locker. A few of the other players were whispering to themselves in private, I had no idea what about, nor did I care. By the time we hit the field, I was ready to play, no matter what. As the defense took the field for the first time, I was not called out. Strange I thought, but I kept silent waiting on my number to be called. By halftime, I was still sitting on the bench in the same spot. I had no idea what to think as we went in for halftime tied at 10-10. Once again the coaches were verbally aggressive, pointing out missed opportunities to score. We had played pretty well defensively, only allowing ten points. By the time the fourth quarter started, I was totally confused. We were losing 24-17, I was still seated, not a stain on my uniform. The game ended in another defeat, this time 31-27, our second in a row. This time though, there was no ranting in the locker room afterwards, everyone had looked around nervously, wondering what was up. Coach Ray walked in and took control of the meeting.
“I’m not gonna stand here and scream and shout tonight, it’s not worth it. But what I am going to tell all of you, is this. We have an excellent group of young players on this team, who kill themselves in practice everyday, so you prima donna’s can have someone to go up against. It’s obvious to me now, I made a huge mistake in judgement on several players on this team.”, he started.
“But that’s in the past, we have one game left and then probably a minor bowl bid, if we’re lucky. But I telling you guys one things now and I am dead serious. I don’t have to single anyone out tonight, you know who you are. But come next year, you better get used to being a backup or look to transfer out of here because you’re not going to play for me.”, he continued.
“I asked a player before the game to make a huge sacrifice for this team, and lose an entire year of eligibility to play in just two games. Without hardly any thought he agreed stating that whatever the team needed, he would go along with. I was going to play him tonight, but you’re not worth his sacrifice. I’m telling you all right now, enjoy what’s left of this year, the next one is either going to kill you or make you quit.”, he ended.
He turned and walked away with little more than an after thought. Everyone just kinda looked around, no said much of anything. We undressed, showered and left the stadium. We ended the season with a win, were invited to a decent bowl game which we won, but all in all it was a disappointing season. I began to wonder if I had chosen the right school, if maybe I should think of transferring. Since I had sat out this year, I could play right away.
I finished the school year with a 3.5 GPA, I was extremely pleased considering the limitations on my time. On the last day on campus before summer vacation, I checked in with Coach Ray before leaving. He urged me to work hard during the next few months, he promised me I would definitely get serious playing time next year. He begged me not to give up on him or the program, he promised it would get better. I thanked him and reassured him I would work hard during the summer.
I arrived back at home on a Friday, Ashley still had two weeks of classes left before the summer vacation. She had followed Courtney to the bus station the night before and dropped off my truck, so I would have a ride. The bus pulled in about twelve-thirty that afternoon. I decided to stop in at the high school on my way home, to see Ashley and Coach Mike again. I parked in the student lot and made my way to the front door, I pulled it open and immediately was confronted by Ms. Carter.
“Hold on young man, just where do you think you’re going ?”, she asked with a smile.
“Uh, I wanted to see Ash… I mean Ms. Thompson and Coach Mike.”, I responded quickly.
“Not before you come give me a big hug mister.”, she answered, extending her arms.
I walked over, bent down and gave her a big hug. She squeezed me tightly, kissing my cheek. She pulled away and looked me up and down.
“My Lord Brian, when will you ever stop growing child ?”, she asked.
“I’m still the same size as when I left here Ms. Carter.”, I stated.
“No way, No way.”, she said laughing, shaking her head.
While in fact that was the truth, my appearance had changed drastically. I was close to two hundred ninety pounds when I left for school last year, standing six foot six inches tall. I had only gained about a half inch in height, and my weight was currently two hundred eighty nine pounds. But I had lost most of the fat on my body and replaced it with muscle mass. Even though my weight was down about a pound, I looked a lot bigger than I had a year ago. I thanked Ms. Carter for the warm welcome and made my way to Ashley’s class. I rounded the hall and looked inside the back door to her class. Everyone was seated, she had her back to the class and was writing on the blackboard. A couple of students looked up and saw my face in the class. I lifted a finger to lips telling them to be quiet and slipped inside the back door, sitting quickly in the last empty desk in the far right hand row. By now everyone had saw me sneak in, several students were chuckling aloud. Ashley stopped writing and turned, facing the class. I had scooted down so far in the desk she could not see me from where she was at.
“So anyone want to tell me what’s so amusing today ?”, she said in a stern manner.
Again everyone cracked up, causing her lose a bit more of her patience. She turned and walked over to the blackboard and began to write the day’s notes again. I leaned over in the aisle to make sure she heard my voice, but I made sure to disguise it slightly.
“Do we really have to write all this crap down ?”, I said in a low pitched voice.
I quickly hid behind the student in front of me as she whirled around and faced the class. You could see she was not amused.
“Ok that’s it. Who said that ? Someone is going to the office, now.”, she sternly ordered.
I slowly raised my hand up just above the head of the student in front of me. Ashley got up on her tip toes trying to see over the kid in front of me.
“Who is that back there ?”, she asked, extremely annoyed.
I knew it was time to give it up, I slowly leaned into the aisle so she could see my face. Her look of perturbance slowly gave way to a huge smile. I got up and walked over to her, giving her a huge hug.
“Hey Honey, it’s so good to see you.”, she said, “Oh my God, look at how big you have gotten.”
We talked for a second then I knew it was time to bail, Ashley was all business at school. I told her I was going to see Coach Mike, then head home. She told me she would see me there later. I exited her class and walked towards the gym area and Coach Mike’s office. I passed several faculty members and former teachers, all greeting me warmly. I finally arrived at Coach Mike’s office, knocking on the door loudly.
“Come in.”, he shouted.
I opened the door to see a friendly face looking up from the desk, he immediately jumped from his seat.
“Hey Brian, good to see you buddy. Man you’re looking good.”, he said extended his hand to mine.
“Thanks Coach, it’s nice to be home.”, I answered.
We sat down and talked for close to an hour about his team this coming year, and my situation up at school. He told me that he would make a call to Coach Ray in a few weeks to make sure that everything was going forward for me to compete the following season. I thanked him for the concern, told him I would see him again soon and left for home.
Upon arriving home, I loaded my clean clothes into my locker, took the dirty clothes to the laundry room and started a load in the washer. The one good thing about being away at school was you did learn to take care of yourself. By the time Ashley had gotten home, I had washed all of the clothes, her’s included, cleaned the kitchen and straightened up the rest of the house. I was sitting down watching TV when she came into the family room.
“Hey hotshot, thank you so much for cleaning up. I have been swamped with exams and everything this week. I really appreciate it darling.”, she said, patting the top of my head.
“No problem Ashley, glad to help out.”, I answered.
She went to her room and changed clothes coming back out in shorts and a tee shirt, no shoes. She was scurrying around the kitchen when she yelled out to me.
“What do you want to eat this evening ?”, she asked.
“It don’t matter to me.”, I responded.
“I have to hurry, I have finals to grade.”, she said.
“You want me to grab some takeout then ? It would make things easy on you.”, I offered.
“You know, that’s a great idea.”, she said, smiling.
I jumped up, put on my shoes and drove into town picking up burgers, fries and shakes at the local diner. I was back in less than thirty minutes, Ashley was already grading papers. I sat with her and ate as she continued to work, I cleaned up after we were done. I told her I was going to watch a bit of TV then probably go to bed early, I had a meeting at the gym with Carl early in the morning about my training schedule for the next three months.
I think I fell asleep about ten that night, Ashley was still hard at it. I woke up about seven the next morning, got dressed and headed to the gym for my appointment. Carl was already there working with a few clients when I walked into the huge room. He waved to me, excused himself and came right over.
“Brian, good to see you.”, he said, shaking my hand.
“I see they have been working you hard, I can see a big difference in you.”, he said, looking me over.
I explained to him, that I had gotten a slight bit stronger, but I felt I had lost some of the quickness I had when I was fifteen pounds lighter. He understood what had happened, the bulking program I was on was for pure strength and muscle mass, not for quickness. He told me he would talk to a friend of his who had coached track athletes in college, see what tips he could offer for speed and quickness. We set up a routine of five days a week, taking off Wednesdays and Sundays.
I promised to see him Monday morning, thanked him again and left the gym heading into town. I looked at my watch it was almost nine thirty, I thought it was a bit too early to go to Courtney’s house. I stopped at the diner, had two cups of coffee to kill some time. I arrived at Courtney’s about ten thirty that morning, her Dad was out in the drive washing his SUV.
“Hello Brian, I didn’t know you were back in town.”, he said, shaking my hand.
“Yes sir, I got in yesterday around noon.”, I answered.
“Brian, I just want you to know that Courtney’s mother and I are so glad to see you and Courtney back together again. She has completely changed, she is back to her old self. I rest so much easier these days.”, he explained.
“I’m glad we are together again too, sir. I missed her when we separated.”, I answered.
He led me inside of the house, motioning for me to go into the family room where Courtney and her mother were watching TV together. I turned into the large family room and entered, the ladies had their backs to me.
“Can a guy get a hug in this joint ?”, I asked softly.
Courtney and her mother whirled around, Courtney shouted out, jumping off of the sofa.
“Briannnnnnnnn.”, she yelled, running around the large sectional, jumping into my arms.
I gave her a quick kiss, mindful of her Mother, then bent down to hug Ms. Timmons. I sat down and talked to the both of them for close to an hour before her Dad came in from outside. He motioned with a wave of his hand to the ladies to move.
“Ok, it’s man time. We gonna talk some football, begone ladies.”, he laughed.
He sat down across from me and for thirty minutes or so we talked about last season and what the upcoming season would bring. He seemed concerned about what had happened to the team last year, hoping it would not be a recurrent problem. I told him if next year started out the same, I would consider transferring immediately, but I had faith in the program. The ladies rejoined us for a while, then I excused myself to go home for a while, Courtney and I would go out later that night.
I arrived back at home to see Ashley back at the kitchen table, finishing up her tests. She had on a short silk robe tied at the waist, her hair was pulled back in a pony tail. I could see her firm, full breasts as her robe opened slightly, while she bent over her papers grading them intently.
“What do you have planned for today ?”, she asked, causing me to immediately look away from her.
“Uh..nothing much really. Court and I are going out tonight, not much else.”, I answered.
“Oh.”, she said, never looking up.
That night Courtney and I went out to dinner, and walked through town looking in the stores, killing time. She informed me that her parents were going out of town early the next morning, they would not be back until Tuesday morning. She was looking forward to us having a quiet, private evening alone together, as was I. I dropped her off about ten that night and went straight home. I took a long shower in the hall bath, put on shorts and a tee shirt, grabbed a seat on the sofa, turning on the TV. I flipped through the channels finally settling on a movie that had just started. I heard the water running in the back of the house, Ashley must be in the shower. About thirty minutes later she came out, dressed in a very tight pair of white shorts and a tank top. It was all I could do to keep from staring at her, I had never seen her in such revealing clothes before. She settled in and began to watch the movie, I kept sneeking glances at her, I was absolutely mezmorized. She looked up and caught me staring at her several times, she just smiled and turned back to the movie. I finally couldn’t take it any longer, I got up and excused myself, saying I was tired.
I climbed into my bed, pulling the covers up, my mind still processing what I had seen. I know it was awful to be thinking of Ashley in that manner, but God Damn, she was beautiful. Even thought she was a little more then ten years my senior, she certainly didn’t look it. I tried to think about Courtney, how I felt about her, but nothing worked. I felt extremely embarrassed and ashamed of my feelings, but at the same time, I was incredibly aroused. Before I knew it, my hand was inside of my shorts, stroking my swollen cock, as the image of Ashley in those white shorts was still burned into my brain. I was getting seriously close to orgasm, my hand reached up to pull the covers back, I was ready to explode. For some reason, I happened to glance towards the door, I froze when I saw the door open just a crack, Ashley peering in. I dropped the covers quickly, sitting up in bed.
“Uh Brian…. Um, do you have to be up at any set time ?”, Ashley asked, her eyes looking down at the floor.
“I’m going to the gym for eight o’clock.”, I responded.
“Okay, I will make sure you’re up.”, she said, pulling the door closed as she left.
I fell back on the bed horrified, a sick feeling in my stomach. There was no doubt in my mind that Ashley knew what I was doing. And I was pretty sure she knew it was in result to me fantasizing about her. I felt disgusted with myself for losing control, I didn’t want to face Ashley in the light of day. I didn’t sleep much that night, I tossed and turned most of the time. I got up about seven, dressed and left the house quietly before seeing Ashley. I slouched into the gym with my tail between my legs.
I worked out for about two and a half hours, showered then met with Carl before I left. He gave me the name and number of a former college track coach who was now living in our area. He had spoken to him about my situation and he told Carl he would be happy to spend some time helping me. I began to drive towards town, the last place I wanted to go was home. I stopped at the local diner and had breakfast, doing anything I could do to kill some time. Finally about noon, I knew I had to go back home. I was extremely relieved to see Ashley’s car not in the driveway when I got home. I went to my room and put my gym bag away, I noticed she had changed the sheets on my bed. Now there was no doubt, she did see me last night. I went back into the family room, plopped on the sofa, awaiting the time I would have to confront her. I just hoped she would be gone all day, I had a date with Courtney that night. Around three o’clock I heard the kitchen door open, keys hitting the counter. I sat on the sofa dead silent, afraid to face her. Finally she entered the room, taking off her coat.
“Hi Brian, you were up early this morning huh ?”, she asked.
“Yea, I got to the gym a bit early, had a meeting with Carl.”, I answered.
She sat down and began to shuffle through the mail that she had taken out of the box from yesterday. She seemed intent on her chore and made no outward signs that anything was wrong. Maybe I was wrong, perhaps she had just opened the door as I looked up last night.
I went back to watching TV, absolutely sure not to give her any awkward glances. She got up a few minutes later and left the room silently. About five o’clock I took a shower and got dressed to go out. I was just about to leave when Courtney called me on my cell phone.
“Brian, I’m sorry, I feel terrible right now. I have a headache so bad, I am sick to my stomach.”, she said, softly.
“Oh ok then, well you go to bed. I will call you tomorrow ok ?”, I offered.
“Ok, if I get to feeling better, I will call you later.”, she said.
I hung up, now faced with having to stay in the house the entire night with Ashley. I turned to go back towards my room, when Ashley came in.
“Everything ok ?”, she asked.
“Nah, Courtney’s sick, she cancelled on me.”, I said.
“Aw, I hope she feels better soon.”, she wished.
I went back to my room and changed clothes quickly, getting comfortable, climbing into the sofa for a long night of TV. Things were just not going that well lately, I thought about my Dad, how much I missed him. I must have dozed off on the sofa, because I was startled suddenly by someone tapping my shoulder. I looked up and saw Ashley standing there looking down on me.
“Hey, why don’t you get up and go to bed ?”, she asked.
“Oh….I’m ok, I just dozed off.”, I answered.
“Ok, I’m going to take a shower then watch a bit of TV.”, she said, walking down the hall.
I got up and went into the kitchen and poured a glass of iced tea, returning to the family room. I flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch, I couldn’t find a thing. I was still channel surfing as Ashley returned from her shower. Once again, she was wearing her short silk robe, tied at the waist, I had no idea what else on underneath. Not again, I thought to myself, I knew it was time to go to bed. I just had to sit there for a few minutes to not seem so obvious as to walk out the minute she came into the room. I passed the remote to her, saying there was nothing I could find to watch, maybe she could find something she liked. She moved up and down through the channels, stopping every once in a while to watch a few seconds of this and that. Finally she settled on a movie on one of the romance networks that have sprung up lately on cable. I was just about to get up and excuse myself for the night when she turned to me.
“Brian, can we talk for a minute ?”, she asked, her face blank, but serious.
“Uh…I guess so. Something wrong ?”, I asked.
“Well, you’re a grown man now, I realize that more and more every day. You remind me so much of your Father when I look at you, you’re becoming so much like him in your mannerism’s. It’s difficult for me….as a….well, it’s hard sometimes to be around you.”, she started.
“Hard to be around me ?”, I asked.
“Wait, let me finish.”, she interrupted.
“I think you’re smart enough to realize, you’re a very attractive man. And I’m still young enough, to miss having a man close to me. In fact, sometimes I feel this huge empty hole inside of me, that I know can never be filled.”, she continued.
“I saw the way you were looking at me the other night, when we were watching TV. At first I felt awkward and embarrassed, but I also felt something else I haven’t felt in a long time. I uh…. Got up to come talk to you and well…..I saw what you were doing, or at least I think I saw something.”, she ended, looking down away from me.
My stomach was in a knot, my mind racing, I felt the blood rush to my face, I was close to a panic attack. I didn’t know what to say, I was searching for any words, something that made sense.
“Ashley…I uh… I’m not sure what you mean.”, was all I could muster.
“Brian, can I ask you a question ? I am aware this is completely out of line to ask you, but we have always been very honest and open with each other. If you don’t want to answer, I understand.”, she offered.
This was getting way out of hand, I needed to bail out as quickly as I could. Maybe this was my opportunity to end this conversation.
“I guess so, what is your question ?”, I inquired.
“Well, what you were doing last night, right after you got in bed. Were you maybe, damn this is hard to ask…….. Were you maybe thinking of me just a little ?”, she blurted out.
This was not the question I had expected her to ask, not even close. Ashley and I had never, ever talked about such things. In fact I had never once had a private conversation with Ashley about anything sexual in nature. But I knew I was not going to be able to fool her, I was never good at lying.
“Ashley, … Oh God, this is so embarrassing…. I mean you’re my…”,I
“It’s ok Brian, be honest with me, please.”, she pleaded.
“Yes, I was thinking of you Ashley. I am so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”, I said, genuinely apologetic.
“It’s ok Brian, it’s only natural at your age to have these thoughts.”, she said softly.
I just sat there looking down at the floor, horribly embarrassed beyond belief. I had just admitted to my step-mother I was masterbating while thinking of her. How sick minded was I ? I was ready to get up and bolt for my room, when Ashley spoke up once again.
“Brian, please don’t feel bad, it’s quite alright, I am not angry.”, she confided to me, “In fact, if I am totally honest, I have done the same thinking of you.”
I looked up in shock, really confused after hearing her words. She masterbated thinking of me ? I didn’t believe what she was saying, I felt she was only saying that to ease the embarrassment she thought I was feeling. A woman like Ashley, who could have any man they wanted, would never give me a second thought. I sat there, the silence was as loud as any noise I have ever heard.
“Brian, have you ever made love to a woman yet ?”, she asked, almost in a whisper.
“No, not really.”, was all I could reply.
“What does not really mean ?”, she asked, with a grin.
“Uh Ashley, I really feel uncomfortable talking with you about this stuff, I’m sorry.”, I said.
“Why Brian ? I’m the closest adult in your life at this point. You can talk to me about anything, it’s not like I’m your mother. After all we are not that far apart in age, we have a lot in commom.”, she replied.
“You don’t feel weird Ashley ?”, I asked, incredulously.
“Not at all sweetheart, I’m perfectly comfortable talking with you.”, she responded.
Somehow right at that point, I knew our relationship would never be the same again. Somehow the step mom and son relationship had been erased in a mere matter of minutes. At this point, I am not even sure of what we had become.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of rain pounding on the roof. I looked over at the clock, it was almost eight in the morning. I sat up in my bed, suddenly the night’s previous conversation came rushing back to me. It was going to be very awkward to be around Ashley from this point on, that was for sure. I got up and made my way to the kitchen, I could smell the coffee brewing. Ashley was already seated at the table when I walked in, she was still in the short robe from the night before. She was sitting with her legs crossed, her entire thigh visible to me, I had to quickly look away.
“Hey Brian, how did you sleep last night ?”, she asked, barely looking up from the paper.
“Ok, I guess.”, I answered, pouring a cup of coffee.
Just about the time I sat down, I heard my cell phone ring from my roon. I jumped up, ran down the hall and answered it. It was Courtney on the other end.
“Hi Brian, whatcha doing ?”, she asked.
“Just woke up, getting some coffee. Are you feeling better ?”, I asked.
“Oh, I feel great. It must have been a twenty four hour bug or something, I don’t know. I am sorry about last night, I wanted to see you bad.”, she said, apologetically.
“It’s ok Court, as long as you feel better now.”, I answered.
“Well I have some good news anyway. My mom just called, they are staying over another night, we can have the house to ourselves tonight if that’s ok with you.”, she stated.
“Sure, that sounds great. I will come by after six o’clock., I replied.
“Sounds great, see you then.”, she said.
I went back to the kitchen and sat down, taking a sip of my coffee. Ashley was still reading the paper, paying me no notice what so ever. I finished my coffee, cleaned up and got dressed leaving for the gym. I had received a phone call from Carl telling me that Coach Jerry Williams wanted to meet me a day early, and get an assessment of where I was so he could lay out a training ritual based on my current needs. I arrived at the gym at the designated time, both Carl and Coach Williams were waiting in his office.
“This is the young man I was telling you about Jerry.”, Carl said, looking at the other man.
Coach Williams was a tall but slender man, I would guess in his forties, some graying in his jet black hair. He immediately looked me up and down, his eyes assessing his future project with great detail. He extended his hand to me quickly.
“Hello Brian, I’m Coach Jerry, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Carl speaks very highly of you, which is rare. He seldom approves of anyone’s efforts, so I know you must be special.”, he said.
“Thank you Coach.”, I replied, shaking his hand.
“I have to say Brian, I am quite impressed with you. You’re what about six foot seven, three hundred pounds ?” he asked, looking me over quickly.
“I’m 6’ 6 ½”, I weight right at 290 pounds Coach.” I replied.
“Carl tells me you want to retain as much mass as possible, keep your strength up, but gain quickness and speed ?”, he inquired.
“Yes sir, that pretty much sums it up.”, I answered.
“OK, be here at seven in the morning, Carl will put you through the weights, then you and I will hit the track.”, he stated.
“I’ll be here Coach.”, I answered.
I did a light workout, took a shower then left for home. It was after lunch by the time I arrived, Ashley was not home. I made some lunch, ate then cleaned up the kitchen. I was watching TV when Ashley came in about three that afternoon. I watched TV until about five, then I took a long, hot shower, dressed and left for Courtney’s. I arrived at Courtney’s a few minutes after six o’clock. She answered the door quickly, she was all smiles. She jumped into my arms and gave me a big kiss holding on tightly. She made our way to the family room and sat down on the large sectional sofa. We talked for a while, mostly small talk, it was getting close to seven.
“You want to get something to eat ?”, she asked.
Sure, what do you want ?”, I asked.
“How about you go get some burgers and fries, then come back here ?”, she asked.
“Ok, I’ll be right back.”, I answered.
I drove into town and picked up Courtney’s phone order, I was back at her house in less than forty five minutes. She was waiting at the door, I saw she had changed clothes while I was gone. She was now wearing a very tiny pair of pink terry cloth shorts and a pink tee shirt. She looked incredibly sexy, every curve of her tight body visible through the soft materials. She led me into the kitchen where we sat down and ate our dinner, once again resuming our conversation. We cleaned up the wrappers, disposed of the trash and made our way back to the sofa. She turned on the TV, lowered the sound, then turned to me, leaning in close. She wasted no time in pulling me in for a soft, very sensual kiss. I responded in kind, by pulling her close to me, my arms holding her tight. She parted her lips and I could feel the tip of her tongue licking my upper lip. I slid my hand down her back, my hand coming to rest on her hip. After several minutes, I finally pulled my lips from hers, I needed some air.
“Mmmmmmm, I have been waiting for you all day.”, she whispered.
“You have ?’, I asked.
“Uh-Huh.”, she replied.
I reached over and once again pulled her towards me, kissing her firmly on the lips as my arms circled her firm, lean body. I moved my right hand from her back and placed it on her stomach, just above the waistband of her shorts. She moaned gently in my mouth, her signal to let me know she wanted me to continue. I moved my hand down inside her shorts, and quickly found her opening, my finger easing inside of her. I pushed my index finger deep inside of her, then slowly sliding it out, taking her juices with it, rubbing them into her hardening clit. Courtney had this way of holding onto you when you made her feel good, it was so intense. I could sense immediately she was extremely aroused, her tongue plunging into my mouth. I pulled my mouth from hers, easing her shoulders back with my hands. I gently guided her onto her back, as I knelt on the sofa above her. I reached down with both hands, hooking my thumbs inside of her shorts, then sliding them down her long, firm legs. I could see her pussy was wet, glistening in juices, waiting for my touch. I pushed her legs open so that one leg was hanging off of the sofa. I knelt down between her legs, my tongue quickly finding her wet, engorged pussy lips. She groaned loudly as my tongue entered her for the first time. I reached over and took her legs, placing one on each of my shoulders, my hands sliding under her, pulling her into my hungry mouth.
“Oh God baby, eat that pussy………”, she moaned, as she ran her hands through her hair.
I reached up with my hands, my fingers spreading the lips of her vagina, exposing her hard, swollen clit from it’s hood. I placed my lips around her clit, gently sucking it into my mouth. She arched her back sharply in response to my mouth, I could taste the change in her fluids, they were becoming thicker as they flooded my open mouth. I knew she was extremely close to an orgasm. I released her clit from my lips and began to rapidly flick my tongue across it, all the while holding her lips open with my fingers. It took less than half a minute before she reached down and frantically grabbed the top of my head, pulling my face into her throbbing pussy.
“Ohhhhhhh yesssssssssss, yessssssssssss…………”, she cried out.
Her body was thrashing under my tongue, her legs stiff and rigid around my head, her juices coating my face. It took close to a minute before I felt her body beginning to relax, her hands releasing it grip from my head. As her hands began to slowly stroke through my short hair, I quickly took her clit between my lips once more and began to gently suck on it. I took my index finger and began to push it inisde of her pussy, as I continued to work on her clit. Soon I was pumping my finger in and out of her quickly as my tongue flicked across her once again hardening clit. She reached down and began to push my face off of her vagina.
“Wait baby, please, not yet.”, she cried out.
She sat up quickly and pulled her tee shirt off, revealing her small, firm breasts, throwing her shirt to the floor. She reached over and unbuttoned my pants, sliding the zipper down quickly. I stood up, kicked my shoes off, then pushed my pants and shorts down my body, stepping out of them. I threw my tee shirt off quickly, moving back down to the sofa with Courtney. This was the first time the both of us were ever completely naked together, I had to admit, the feeling was incredible. She reached down and took my swollen cock in her small hand and began to stroke me gently, her hand squeezing me softly. She pushed me down on my back and climbed on top of me, her hips over mine, her soaking wet pussy grinding into my hard cock. I reached around and grabbed her fim ass with both hands, as she rubbed her clit against my raging erection. Her face was only inches from mine, her eyes gazing deep into mine, as her hips worked back and forth feverishly.
“I’m gonna cum all over your hard cock baby.”, she whispered.
I could see by the look in her eyes, she was really close. I had noticed that Courtney liked a lot of visual stimulation just before orgasm. She also like for you to talk her through it, she seemed to cum harder when I did. I licked my lips, never taking my eye’s off hers.
“If you cum on my cock, you’re gonna have to lick it off baby.”, I answered, in a soft voice.
That was all it took, she placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed herself up to a seat position as her second orgasm began, her hips furiously rocking on my cock. She looked down at me as she rose wave after wave of intense pleasure, her eyes wide, her nostrils flared.
“That……. feels……so…….fucking…….good…….”, she stuttered, each word deliberately broken from the rest.
I desperately wanted to lift her up with both hands and slide my raging erection deep inside of her stomach. I wanted to feel the velvet, wet walls of her vagina around my cock so badly, it hurt. But I knew I couldn’t take the chance. I had no choice but to reach up and gently push Courtney off of me. I sat up and pulled her close, pressing my lips to hers, my tongue probing her mouth gently. She pulled away, her eyes finding mine quickly.
“God Brian, you can make me cum over and over baby. It’s incredible.”, she whispered, “Now let me suck my cum off of your cock like I promised.”
She pushed me back on the sofa, then lowered her head into my lap. She quickly took my cock into her warm, wet mouth, her hands cupping my balls gently. She began to move her head quickly up and down, her mouth sucking gently on my swollen, purple cock. She moved her hand around the base of my cock ands began to pump me into her mouth, as if she was urging me to explode in her mouth. I raised my head and looked down, causing her to look up in my direction. She opened her eyes wide as my gaze met hers, she removed her lips from my cock, a thin stream of saliva hung from her lips to the tip of my cock.
“I want you to rub your pussy for me baby. I want to watch you.”, I begged.
She had me sit up, my back against the sofa, as she laid down her head in my lap. She turned so that she was facing the back of the sofa as well, giving me a clear view of her entire body. With her left hand she reached down and grabbed my cock, pulling it into her eager mouth. With her right hand she reached down between her legs and began to stroke her clit in a gentle back and forth motion.
“Hmmmmm, just like that baby. I like that.”, I whispered softly, my eyes fixed on her right hand.
I ran my hand through her silky soft hair as her tongue was swirling around the head of my cock, her hand pumping me slowly up and down. She was already pumping her hips against her right hand, I sensed perhaps she had another orgasm pending. I decided to try to urge her on.
“Cum for me baby, cum all over that pretty little hand.”, I whispered, with encouragement.
“MmmmmHmmmmm……”, she moaned , her mouth full of my cock.
Watching this beautiful girl masterbate right in front of me was an incredible sight. Suddenly without warning, she clamped her thigh’s around her hand, her body convulsing in yet another orgasm. I couldn’t hold out any longer, the cum racing up my cock. The first stream of cum erputed in her mouth, catching her completely off guard. She released my cock from her lips, cum running from her lips. Three more ropes of cum jetted from my cock landing on her breasts as she continued to pump my cock furiously. By now she was squeezing the last few drops of semen from my penis, her tongue licking it from the tip. I laid back exhausted as she continued to gently suck and lick my cock, her hand gently stroking her clit as her orgasm subsided. It was very late that night when I got home, I didn’t want to leave Courtney’s that night.
The next day I began my new training program, it was completely reversed from anything that I had ever done before. Instead of low reps with massive amounts of weight, I was using a lot less weight but doing dozens of reps during each set. My the time I had concluded a body part, the muscles were burning beyond belief, I had virtually no strength left. I would go home, take a shower, eat a meal then meet Coach Jerry on the track that evening. He had multiple cones set up in various sequences waiting on me. I would run multiple sets of what he called the shuttle drill, the three cone drill and 40 yard dash’s. He would then have me do a series of what he called “blast” drills which basically had me starting a dash out of the starting blocks that track athletes used. The whole purpose of these drills was to increase my overall speed, agility and quickness. I would finish off every practice with either a mile run or dashes with the parachute harness strapped on. A typical practice would be about two to three hours long. By the time I got home that night, I was basically useless.
On my third practice he finally timed me in the various drills. I ran a 4.96 forty yard dash, a 7.81 three cone drill and a 4.88 shuttle drill. These times he told me were completely unacceptable if I ever expected to play at the next level. He also told me that I was too heavy at two hundred ninety pounds to be a factor at defensive end. My weight was more suitable to play inside at defensive tackle, but at 6’6”, I was entirely too tall to control a center or guard. They would use my height against me and push me all over the field. So I had no choice, in his mind, but to drop the weight and get faster.
I was relentless working out every day, even hitting the track on the days when Coach Jerry was not there. It took about two months but the results were beginning to show. I had dropped close to fifteen pounds so far, all of my times were beginning to fall. By the time I was ready to leave for school, I weighed in at two hundred sixty nine pounds. On my last workout with Coach Jerry he had timed me at 4.59 seconds in the forty, 6.88 seconds in the three cone drill and 4.12 in the shuttle drill. My leg strength was up as well , I had increased my vertical leap from 29 to 35 inches. There was no doubt, I was coming off the ball twice as fast as ever before.
Three days later I reported to school, then made my way to the first team meeting of the year. We split up in groups and met with our postion coaches for evaluation. Coach Ray took one look at me and erupted in one of his famous tantrums.
“Son of a fucking bitch Stevens, what the fuck have you been doing ?”, he screamed.
“Training Coach, why ?”, I asked.
“Get your fucking ass on that scale”, he said, pointing to the device.
I moved over to the scale, climbed on and watched the digits roll, finally stopping at two hundred sixty eight pounds. He looked at the numbers, then looked at me, I could tell he was pissed.
“What the fuck is this ?”, he growled, pointing to the readout on the scale.
“It’s ok Coach, trust me.”, I said quietly.
“No it’s not fucking ok, there’s no way you’re going to start for me at this weight.”, he said, slamming his hand on the table and walking away.
Several minutes later I was singled out and called in the head strength coach’s office where my chart was out on the table. He was scanning over it when I walked in.
“Hey Brian, what’s up ? Your down close to thirty pounds, why ?”, he asked.
“I was too slow, I couldn’t play at that weight.”, I answered.
“So in addition to being a student / athlete, you’re now a trainer as well ?”, he snapped, “Just whose fucking idea was this anyway ?’
I thought for a second before answering, last thing I wanted to do was cause problems for either Carl or Coach Jerry. They were both only trying to help me, I was not going to throw anyone under the bus.
“It was my idea, no one else’s.”, I replied.
“Bullshit Stevens, no kid makes this shit up.”, he screamed, “Get the fuck out of here, report to the gym in the morning at six, but just so we’re clear here, your scholarship is in jeopardy son. Now get the fuck out.”
I turned and left his office closing the door gently behind me. I wasn’t worried. I had lost virtually no strength during my training, I was leaner, quicker and faster. I was in warm-ups so no one actually saw the definition and muscularity of my body. I went back to the dorm, climbed into bed and got ready for the new season.
The following morning, the entire training facility was waiting for us in the gym. As I peeled off my warm-ups, I could tell from everyone’s reaction they were shocked. No one said anything, but I was certainly the main topic of the workout. In almost every exercise I did that morning, I was right at the weight I was pushing before I had left for the summer. You could tell they were all shocked to say the least. I was close to thirty pounds lighter, but had not lost any strength at all.
We were not scheduled to hit the field for ten days, so each day I worked out with the team, then ran at night on the track on my own. One night I was wrapping up my sprints when I looked up and saw Coach Ray leaning against the tunnel wall. Obviously he had been watching for a while.
We had our first afternoon practice in full pads in the blistering heat and excessive humidity of a Louisiana summer day. Most everyone was struggling with the conditions, except for a few of us. After team drills were over, we went into line drills, where we would go against our offensive line. I was lined up against a three hundred fifteen pound junior, this would be his second year as a starter. Even though they were pretending not to show it, I knew all the defensive coaches were focused on me. We lined up for the first time, I turned my head to the left and found the ball in the center’s hand. I leaned my weight forward, my heels coming off the ground in the new sprinter’s stance I had adopted. As the center lifted the ball and pushed it between his legs, I exploded out of my stance, wedging my left arm under my opponent’s shoulder pads, pushing him to the left and quickly getting around him to the ball. As the whistle blew, I already had my hands on the quarterback’s red jersey. As I moved back to my position, I could see by the look in my opponent’s eyes, I had surprised him. By the end of the practice I had went up against every left tackle we had on the field, no one could really match up well with me. I was simply too quick off the ball for the three hundred pounders to stay with me.
I had stepped out of the shower and was walking back to my locker to dress when Coach Ray grabbed me by the arm.
“Brian, I don’t know what to say son. I’m not sure you’re that good, or we are that bad, but we simply had no answer for you today. I have to admit, I am pleasantly surprised. Keep up the good work.”, he said.
With less than a week to go until our home opener, I was firmly entrenched as the starter. Once again our first three games were against non-conference weaker opponents who played us for a share of the gate, in addition to giving us a final tuneup before the real season started. I played close to three quarters in all three games accumulating seven sacks in my first three games. I was getting some minor press in the local newspaper, no one quite knew or could get a handle on this new kid.
We would open the conference on the road in my home state against A&M, my father’s old team. Since the drive up to the campus was only about three hours from home, I called Courtney’s dad and asked him if he wanted my four tickets for the game. He sounded like a little kid at Christmas, he was immediately yelling out his acceptance on the phone. In fact later that week Courtney told me she actually had to beg him to get a ticket, he wanted to take three of his friends.
The game started out slow, both teams have a tough time against the other’s defense. We managed just a field goal in the first quarter, we held them scoreless. Early in the second quarter, their quarterback took one step back and threw a quick slant pass to his receiver coming across the middle. I was able to get a hand up quickly and slap the ball back into the backfield. It bounced off of the running back’s helmet and straight back into my hands. I ran close to twenty yards before being tackled at their eight yard line. Two plays later we scored our first touchdown and took a 10-0 lead. We never let up, beating them 35-7 in a convincing fashion. I was able to talk quickly with Courtney and her Dad in the stands before having to make my way to the locker room after the game.
By mid- season we were unbeaten, 7-0 and ranked number five in the country. Our defense was definitely what we hung our hat on, we were ranked seventh overall in the country and first in our conference. I was ranked second in our conference in sacks with 14 thus far on the season. I was actually ranked seventeenth overall in the country and was starting to get a small bit of national recognition. This year I would get no Christmas vacation at home, we would only get a few days off from our schedule.
We ran our record up to 10-0, before losing a heartbreaker in Florida, 28-27. It definately took us out of contention for the national title dropping us from our then ranking of three all the way down to seventh. We finished the season with two wins and had a major bowl bid, which we won. It still didn’t ease the pain of the loss in Florida, we were knocking on the door of a National Championship and blew it. If there was good news, we lost only one starter on defense and only two on offense. We had a red shirt running back that would start for us next year, he was absolutely phenomenal. We had also signed a junior college quarterback, who at 6’5, 220 lbs., was supposed to be the real deal. We would definitely be better next year, but that didn’t help now.
I decided to stay at school for spring break, much to Courtney’s dismay. We actually had our first fight in well over a year because of it. I wanted to finish strong academically, and continue working with the track team, trying to increase my speed. It was early May, I had finished with a 3.67 GPA, I was looking forward to a few months off. I met with Coach Ray before I left, he gave me his recommendations which basically were to do exactly what I had done last summer.
I arrived home on a Friday evening late, Ashley picked me up at the bus station. I got home at about eight thirty that night, took a shower and changed clothes quickly. I told Ashley I was heading to Courtney’s, things hadn’t been perfect lately. I wanted to make it up to her. I also had a team signed ball for her dad, something I knew he would like. I arrived at Courtney’s about nine fifteen, her dad answered the door. From the look on his face, I had the feeling all was not well.
“Oh Brian, um… come in son.”, he said strangely, like he had to think about it.
“Thank you sir.”, I replied.
He closed the door behind me, I followed him into the family room, where Courtney’s mom was sitting. Immediately upon seeing me, I saw the same facial reaction that I had just received from her dad. Something was definitely up. I sat down on the end of the sofa, handing the ball which was wrapped in a bag to Courtney’s dad.
“This is for your collection. I thought it would look good in your office sir.”, I told him.
He reached out, opened the bag and pulled out the ball. I could tell immediately he was pleasantly surprised with the gift.
“Thank you Brian, I will definitely display this proudly. It’s very thoughtful of you son.”, he answered shaking my hand.
“You’re welcome sir.”, I responded.
He sat there for a second nervously wringing his hands, like he wanted to say something to me. I decided to just found out what was wrong.
“Is something wrong ? I get a feeling like maybe…. I am not supposed to be here.”, I asked.
“Brian, I don’t know what is going on, really I don’t. This is between you and Courtney I guess. But she told me you two …..well, kinda broke up a few months ago.”, he started.
“She told me you met someone at school and went away with her for spring break. To be honest Brian, I am surprised at you. I didn’t figure you to do something like that. So lately, as much as I hate to say it, she is dating Darren again.”, he ended.
I sat there stunned, this couldn’t be right. I mean, we did fight over spring break, but I never thought it was this bad, or that she would twist things around like this.
“Sir, I’m not quite sure what you have been told, but obviously it’s not the truth. Courtney and I did have an argument about sprink break. But it was because I decided to stay up at school study and work out. There is no one else at school, I never left the campus. In fact I have never been out on a date since I got up there. I have no idea where that came from.”, I answered.
I could tell by the looks of both their faces, they knew they had been taken in by Courtney once again. Her mom hung her head, not saying a word. I decided to call it a night, there was no point of this.
“I’m sorry sir, I really am. I mean if I would have known this, I would never have come over. Courtney and I have been talking on the phone for the last few months, I had no clue anything was wrong. Thank you again for everything sir.”, I finished.
I stood and shook his hand, then made my way quickly out of the door. I got into my truck and pulled out of the drive way, I actually felt sick to my stomach. This was twice now, I vowed then and there, it would not happen again. On the way home I decided to stop and get something to eat, maybe it would help me feel better. When I got to the diner, I saw it was packed. I jumped out, deciding to just get takeout and go back home. I walked in and up to the counter by the register, Ms. Tina, one of the owner’s came over right away.
“Hey how’s my baby tonight. Good to see you home.”, she said with a big smile.
“Thank you Ms. Tina, good to see you. Can I get a burger and fries to go please.”, I asked.
“You sure can darling, be right up.”, she answered, clipping my order to the large stainless steel wheel in the window of the kitchen.
I sat down on an empty stool near the register and waited. I guess I had been there about five minutes when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Jasmin standing there smiling. She had grown so much, she looked absolutely gorgeous.
“Hey Mister, long time no see.”, she smiled, holding out her arms.
I stood up, bent over and gave her a big hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. I stepped back and looked down at her.
“I’m sorry about you and Courtney, when did it happen ?”, she asked.
“Apparently about thirty minutes ago.”, I answered.
“What are you talking about ? Thirty minutes ? I don’t get it.”, she replied.
“I just left her house, her parents were there. Everyone apparently is under the impression we broke up in March, when in fact I had no clue we were broke up. She told her parents that I went away with someone on spring break, I never left campus, I was studying and practicing. I just found out about Darren tonight.”, I told her.
“Oh that bitch. I knew something was wrong. I just couldn’t picture you doing that to her. Man oh man, did she put on an act around here.”, Jasmin hissed.
“It’s ok Jazzy, forget it. I’m done with her, this will be the last time.”, I said quietly.
“Brian, I am so sorry. Call me if you need to talk ok ?”, she offered.
“Thanks Jazzy, will do.”, I answered.
Ms. Tina summoned me to the counter and handed me my order. I thanked her, got in my truck and pulled off. I began thinking to myself, no telling what people must think of me if they bought into Courtney’s story about spring break. I arrived home a few minutes later, sat at the kitchen table and ate quietly. Ashley was already asleep for the night, I didn’t want to disturb her.
I got up early the next morning and left for the gym before Ashley was up. I checked in with Carl, updated him on the past season and we laid out another training schedule similar to the one I had used last summer. I told him I would start early Monday morning, thanked him and left. I got back home about eight thirty, Ashley was cooking breakfast.
“Hey hotshot, where were you off to this early, the gym ?”, she asked.
“Yes, I met with Carl and laid out a schedule for the summer.”, I answered, snagging two pieces of bacon from the plate in front of me.
“Sit down, I will make you breakfast.”, she said.
I sat down and we talked back and forth as Ashley cooked me a mountain of eggs, potatoes and bacon. She set the plate in front of me with a smile.
“I hope you’re hungry.”, she laughed.
“Always, you know me.”, I answered.
She grabbed her plate and her coffee cup and sat down across from me at the table. She began eating, then looked up at me again.
“Did you see Courtney last night ?”, she asked.
“No, she wasn’t home. I saw her parents though.”, I answered.
“Her parents ?”, she replied.
I told Ashley the story of what had happened last night with Courtney’s parents, then again with Jasmin at the diner. I could see by the loss of reaction on Ashley’s face, some of this was not breaking news to her.
“I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t want to butt in. I have seen her around with Darren a few times lately. I heard rumors about you supposedly dumping her for a coed up at school. But it’s your life, I don’t want to get involved.”, she ended.
“Um… well first, I never dumped her. We had an argument about me not coming home for spring break. But I stayed on campus and studied, you knew that. Secondly, there is no girl at school, there never has been.” I said, matter of factly.
“Well I know you told me, you were staying at school, but I thought you might have changed your mind.”, she answered.
“Ashley, you honestly think I would do that to Courtney ? I would, if I had met someone, at least be man enough to tell her to her face.”, I answered angry.
“Well honestly, I doubted her story from day one, it didn’t sound like you. But she sure played it up big time around here. It was all over school as well.”, she shot back.
“Well, it’s done this time. I am going to concentrate on football and grades until I graduate.”, I said quietly.
I sat around most of the weekend watching TV and relaxing, trying to unwind from the hectic pace of school and football. On Monday, I started my training program with Carl, then off to the track to meet Coach Jerry again. I sunk myself head long into the workouts, once again determined to show up at school ready to play, no excuses.
I guess three or four days passed before I got a phone call from Courtney, even though I come very close to not even answering it.
“Brian, this is Courtney.”, she said, in a low, very demure tone.
“Hi Court.”, I answered, in a similar tone.
There was a pause of maybe ten seconds, I was wondering if she was going to hang up.
“Look Brian, I don’t know what to say. My parents jumped me when I got home last night. They insisted I call you first thing this morning.”, she said, “My dad is so pissed at me.
“Court, really it’s ok, I’m sorry I showed up unexpected like that. I just wished you would have been honest with me about Darren. I know you were upset with me over spring break, maybe I should have come home. But it’s all said and done now, no point in fighting over it.”, I replied.
“You’re not mad ?”, she asked.
“Mad ? No I am not mad, I am hurt, but not mad. The thing that really bothers me the most is that you just didn’t tell me. Why tell everyone that I had another girlfriend ?”, I asked.
“I dunno, it was all I could think of.”, she answered.
“Well, it’s over, don’t worry about it. Just please be careful, take care of yourself.”, I told her.
“Thanks Brian.”, she said, as she hung up the phone.
The next month seemed to fly by, I was so immersed in my workouts to give anything or anyone a second thought. It was getting close to the Fourth of July before I even ventured out of the house for anything more than a workout. I was in town on Saturday morning when I ran into Courtney’s dad in the drug store.
“Hi Brian, how have you been ?”, he asked.
“I’m good sir, and you ?”, I answered.
“Ok, I guess. Been training hard ?”, he inquired.
“Yes sir, six days a week.”, I replied.
We talked for a few more minutes, then he walked away. Seeing him only reminded me of Courtney, something that I really didn’t want to think of. I picked up a few things, then made my way back to my truck. Everywhere you looked there were signs advertising the big Fourth of July Bash that would be held out at the lake, tomorrow night. There would be fireworks, food and music, everyone in town would be there.
Later that night I was watching TV when Ashley popped her head into the room.
“You plan on going to the lake tomorrow night ?”, she asked.
“I dunno really. Probably not.”, I answered.
“Aw come on, you can be my date. I don’t want to go alone.”, she whined.
“Alright, I guess so.”, I replied.
I really had no desire to go and see everyone, much less I am sure run into Courtney and Darren, and lord only knew who else. Maybe before now and tomorrow night I could weasel out of it.
I woke up the next morning early, hit the gym and was back home before nine. Ashley was already up and cleaning house by the time I got back. I could see she seemed excited about something, I guessed it was tonight. It was going to be hard to get out of it, I could tell. At about three o’clock that afternoon, she asked me about what time I wanted to leave for the lake.
“You really want to go tonight ?”, I asked, hoping she would decline.
“Yes, I do. You promised, no way you’re getting out of it.”, she answered, “Besides, you may meet a girl, who knows.”
About five that evening, I knew I had to face the inevitable, so I got up, took a shower and dressed. Ashley was already in her room, showering and dressing. I was waiting in the family room when she came out. She looked amazing, but then again, she almost always did. But for some reason, tonight, she went way past just amazing. She was wearing a very tight pair of jeans, the legs tucked inside of almost knee high, suede black boots. She had on a black very tight tank top, her hair pulled back in a black satin ribbon. I am sure, every man at the lake tonight would be eyeing her up.
“I’m going to drive, is that ok with you ? That way, I can have a daquiri or two, if I need you to drive home you can.”, she asked.
“Sure , no problem.”, I answered.
We locked up, climbed into her SUV, which was new, this would be my first time to ride in it, and headed out to the lake. It was about a twenty minute ride, we talked mostly about my next year up at school and what my expectations were. By the time we arrived out at the lake, there was a large crowd already assembled, the parking areas were almost full. The police officer directed us to one of the back lots to park in, Ashely pulled in and found one of the last few spot. We got out, I unloaded the folding chairs and locked the car. We walked quite a way’s before coming to the main area, near the north end of the lake. Tents and a stage had been set up, there were well over a thousand people there already. I followed Ashley as she made her way through the crowd, stopping and chatting with people here and there. She finally made her way to an open area near a large tree, she showed me where to open up and set the chairs. I did as she wanted me to, I sat down on ine of the chairs. Ashley was still talking to a few parents and students about school activities, something which seemed so far removed from just a few years ago. I was just sitting there, looking out over the lake, not paying much mind to anyone. I had been there a few minutes when Jasmin’s dad walked up next to me.
“Hello Brian, how have you been ?”, he said , extending his hand.
“I’m doing well Mr. Thomas, how about you sir ?”, I answered.
“Fine, son, just fine. I watched you play a few times this year, you had a great season, I was impressed.”, he stated.
“Thank you sir, we just fell a little short.”, I answered.
“Maybe, but you gave a good account of yourself. Keep that kind of effort up and I might be watching you play on Sundays one day.” he said.
“I hope so Mr. Thomas.”, I replied.
We talked for a few more minutes, he excused himself and walked over to another group of people. Over the next few hours I talked with Jasmin, Kelly, Devon and a few other people that I had went to school, with that were either back in town for the summer, or were not going to college and had stayed home. It was getting close to ten o’clock, the fire works show would be starting shortly. I was once again seated in my chair, as Ashley was her’s next to me. I had noticed she was drinking daquiri’s most of the day, I could tell although, she was far from drunk, she was feeling quite well. I had also noticed this one guy, who had been hanging around her all night long. I didn’t recognize him so I figured he had to be new to town, or perhaps Ashley had been seeing him for a while, I had no idea. Just before the fireworks began, I got up and walked to one of the booths to get a Coke. On the way over I noticed Courtney was with Darren over by the stage, he was surrounded by his “crew’, as I called them. Theses were all guys who had played a little ball in high school but never moved on to college. They were trapped here, trying to relive their glory days, refusing to accept that they had become adults and it was time to grow up. I saw a few of them looking at me as I crossed in front of the stage wealking toward the refreshment booths. I just looked away, the last thing I needed was a confrontation with a pack of idiots tonight. I was standing in one of the two lines waiting to be served when I heard them walk up behind me and get into line. They were talking real loud, trying to get my attention, hoping I would react to what they were saying. I ignored them and continued to move forward in line, waiting on my turn. I was finally served, paid the lady and turned to walk back to Ashley when one of them spoke up.
“Well I’ll be dammed, it’s the superstar gracing us with his prescence tonight.”, he said, in a loud voice.
The rest of his buddies, which I counted quickly numbered five, all roared in laughter. I knew who this guy was, we graduated together, but ran in different circles. Most of the group I knew from school, only one was a stranger.
“So Stevens, tell us how it feels to be a big football star.”, he chanted.
I stopped briefly and looked in his direction, he immediately took a defensive posture.
“Let it go buddy. Trust me, it won’t get you a thing, other than injured.”, I said calmly.
“Ooh, now we are scared.”, he said, mocking me.
“Of course you are, that’s why you need five guys behind you to talk to me. That’s obvious.”, I answered.
By now the crowd that gathered around this encounter was growing. They whooped after my last comment, trying to egg him on.
“I don’t need anyone to handle you boy.”, he shot back, angry with my reply and the crowd’s reaction.
“I’m right over there when you’re ready.”, I said, pointing to where Ashley and I were sitting.
By this time, someone must have gotten one of the police officers who were working the celebration to hustle over. One of them stepped inside of the crowd and made his way over to me quickly.
“Is there a problem here ?”, he asked sternly.
“Not with me, check with him.”, I said walking away.
I saw the police officer talking to several people in the group after I left, I guess he was trying to get a feel for what was going on. By now the fireworks had started, most of the crowd was surrounding the lake watching the show. It lasted about forty five minutes, it was close to eleven o’clock when everyone started picking up their things. I grabbed both chairs, Ashley and I headed back to her car. I loaded the chairs into the back of her SUV, then closed the window.
“You want me to drive Ashley ?”, I asked.
She thought for a second, then reached into her pocket, tossing me the keys. We got in the vehicle, I backed out and waited in line to pull out of the loot. It took close to ten minutes before we were actually back on the road and headed home. I could tell that Ashley had enjoyed herself, she was all smiles.
“Who was that guy that you were talking to most of the night ?”, I asked.
“Oh that’s Bill. He works at the computer store in town. I met him a few months ago.”, she answered.
“Well I think Bill likes you quite a bit, Ashley.”, I laughed.
“Bill is engaged to be married, silly.”, she chuckled back.
“Well you coulda fooled me.”, I shot back.
She turned to me with a devilish grin, reached across and put her hand on my thigh and gently squeezed it.
“Hmmmmm, sounds like somebody’s jealous to me.”, she laughed.
I had no reply for that remark. I just grinned foolishly and turned my eyes back to the road. Was she right ? Was I actually jealous he was talking to her ? Did I really have those kinds of feelings for Ashley ? As quickly as those thoughts raced through my head, I was snapped back to the reality that Ashley’s hand was still on my leg. A few moments later she pulled it back, but I was tingling from head to toe by then. As I turned on the main highway through town, we would be home in a just a few minutes.
“How about we get a cup of coffee before going home ?”, Ashley asked.
“I guess so.”, I answered.
We were only a block or so from the diner, so we arrived quickly. It was almost empty, everyone was still out at the lake or heading home. We walked and found a booth near the middle of the room, sliding in quickly. Ashley was seated across from me, she seemed like a school girl out on a date. She was all smiles, her face glowing, a sparkle in her eyes. We ordered two cups of coffee, which arrived quickly. I had just put crème and sugar in mine, when she spoke up.
“I had a nice time tonight, thank you Brian.”, she said softly.
“You’re welcome.”, I answered.
“So did it really bother you watching me talk to Bill ?”, she laughed.
“Oh Ashley, stop. I was just asking.”, I said, annoyed.
“Maybe I was trying to make you jealous.”, she said, as she laughed a bit louder than normal.
“And maybe, Ashley had one too many daquiri’s tonight, as well.”, I answered back, trying to end this conversation.
“Hmmmmmmm maybe Ashley did, but is that a bad thing ?”, she inquired.
“Yes, that’s a bad thing, now drink your coffee.”, I replied.
She continued her relentless teasing of me for close to forty minutes as we were on our third cup of coffee. As we were finishing up, I noticed I could feel the toe of her boot, rubbing up and down gently on my ankle. As odd as it should have felt, it didn’t, I was on fire from my head to my toe. I just had no idea if Ashley was serious about her intentions, or as was probably the case, just had a bit too much to drink. I got up and went and paid for the coffee, she got up and followed me out. I opened her door and she slid into the SUV’s bucket seat easily, I closed the door behind her. As I walked around to the driver’s door, I was trying desperately to sort this situation out. Was I really contemplating a sexual relationship with my father’s widow ? Or was she even really seriously pursuing me ? I opened the driver’s door and climbed in, starting the engine. As I buckled my seat belt, there was no doubt she was leaning my way in the seat. I pulled out of the parking lot and headed home, I decided to keep quiet for the rest of the drive.
We pulled up in the driveway, it was almost one o’clock in the morning. Ashley grabbed the keys from the igntion, hopped out quickly and ran to the door. I locked the car and slowly followed her through the kitchen door. I locked the door behind me, turned off the outside light. For the first time, since I had known Ashley, I actually felt uncomfortable around her. I’m not sure if I was scared she would possibly be interested in me, or was I afraid of my own feelings ? Quickly I decided to defuse the situation and head for my room. I was halfway down the hallway when Ashley called out from the family room.
“Brian, come see for a minute, please.”, she said, in a loud voice.
I turned and walked back down the hall to the family room. Ashley was sitting on the sofa, she had removed her boots, tossing them aside. She had one arm across the back of the sofa, her legs curled up in front of her.
“Come sit down here for a second.”, she said, patting the sofa, next to where she was sitting.
“What for ?”, I asked.
“Please Brian, just for a second.”, she pleaded.
I walked around the back of the sofa, stepped in front of her, and sdat down beside her on the sofa. I was six foot six inches tall, weighed about two hundred seventy five pounds, played defensive end against some of the biggest players in the country and I was scared to death. This tall slender, beautiful woman next to me, scared me like no opponent I had ever faced. I had no idea what to say or do.
“Brian, can we just have an honest conversation for a minute ?”, she asked.
“I guess so.”, was about all I could muster.
“I really need to know if you were jealous watching me talk to Bill tonight. Not because I find it humorous, far from it. I know what I am asking is crazy, I just don’t know what else to do but be up front about it. Do you have feelings for me, that you think, maybe you shouldn’t have ?”, she asked softly.
“Oh God Ash, you gotta be kidding me.”, I blurted out, my hand rubbing my head.
“No, I am not kidding you. We need to sort this out now.”, she demanded.
“Ashley, I mean….. you are my….well I mean..”, I was stuttering.
“No, I am not your mother, technically I am nothing to you, other than your father’s former wife.”, she said calmly.
“Well isn’t that enough ?”, I said, grasping at anything I could hold on to.
“Maybe, maybe not.”, she replied.
I just looked at her, I didn’t know what to do, nor what to say. If I admitted that I had these strange feelings for her and she didn’t feel that way towards me, what would she think. Would she freak out, thinking her step son had sexual feelings for her. Throw in the fact that she was ten years older than me, it got very weird.
“Ashley, what do you want to say ?”, I asked, almost begging for relief.
“I want you to tell the truth Brian, that’s all.”, she answered.
No matter what I did, she was not going to let me off of the hook. I guess this conversation had been a long time coming, it was time to lay it all out of the line, discuss it thoroughly, then she could explain to me why my feelings although maybe natural, needed to be stored away forever.
“Ok, ok Ashley. I will admit it, I have thought of you many times in that way. And yes, I guess I was sort of jealous tonight watching you with Bill, even though I really have no right to be. I mean …… you are so damn beautiful….. I can’t help but ..you know…sometimes look at you in that way….especially when you wear the wrong clothes….” I replied.
“Wrong clothes ?”, she asked.
“Not wrong clothes, stuff that just shows more of you than I really need to see.”, I admitted.
“Oh, I see. Night clothes, stuff like that ?”, she inquired.
“Uh huh.”, I said, nodding my head.
“So what exactly do you think about, when you think of me I mean.”, she said, coyly.
“You know what I think about Ashley, geez, help me out here.”, I responded.
“Well we have a problem then. A big problem as far as I can tell.”, she said in a low tone.
“I’m sorry Ashley, I really am. I mean you asked me to be honest. And it’s not like it’s all I do is think of you. It’s not all of the time, only once in a while.”, I answered quickly.
“Yes I did ask you to be honest, after all.”, she answered.
We just sat there for a few moments, it seemed like a lot longer, the silence overwhelming, before she finally spoke again.
“Maybe I need to be honest with you Brian. After all, I am supposedly the adult here, by age at least.”, she started.
“Remember the night, I came into your room …..You were…. How do I say this ? Um …………….. Oh hell, you were masterbating, later you told me, you were thinking of me. Remember that ? ” she asked.
“Yes, I am sorry Ashley.”, I said, ashamed.
“Don’t be. I was extremely flattered. In fact to be honest with you, I have done the exact same thing thinking of you. Many times since then in fact.”, she said, looking dead into my eyes.
I could feel the blood rushing to my face, my throat was dry, I was having difficulty breathing. This gorgeous woman, someone who could have any man she wanted, was actually telling me she actually had fantasies about me.
“You looked shocked Brian.”, she continued, “Don’t be, you’re an incredibly attractive young man, you also have a body any woman would die for. Of course you know that, you spend enough time in the gym.”, she continued.
“I dunno, I guess…. Um…”, I stuttered.
“You don’t think women have the same thoughts as men do ? Trust me, I have seen a lot of women look at you and I know what they are thinking. They are wondering what it would be like to get you into bed.”, she said, “When you look at me Brian, what do you think of.”
“Oh geez, I mean…I … well, you have an unbelievable body, you’re so pretty and….”, I stammered.
“Well, we think the same thing Brian. There’s nothing wrong with that.”, she told me.
Again we had that awkward pause in the conversation that we had a few minutes ago. Maybe that’s all, maybe we are done I thought. Just as I thought we were Ashley continued.
“So now what we need to do Brian, is figure out how to handle these feelings.”, she said.
“What do you mean ?”, I asked.
“Well do we end this conversation tonight, forget everything that was said and try to act normal. Or do we maybe figure out an arrangement that works for both of us, but an arrangement that makes sure, neither of us can get hurt.”, she replied.
“I don’t know what you mean…. by an arrangement,”, I inquired, softly.
“What I mean is, there are things we can do together to…., um we can help each other relieve these feelings, maybe make each other feel better, so to speak.”, she offered, “What do you think ?”
“I think I feel very weird right now Ashley.”, I told her.
“I can understand that, I feel the same way to some degree. But lately I have had this overwhelming desire to be close to you. I’m not sure if it’s because you remind me so much of your Father. Or maybe I have been so long without a man, add the fact that well you’re… you know extremely attractive and I’m pretty worked up sometimes. Do you understand any of what I am saying ?”, she asked.
“Yes, somewhat Ashley. Sometimes when we are here watching TV at night, I have a hard time concentrating on anything other than you. That’s why I get up and go to bed sometimes.”, I answered.
Ashley then reached out and took my hand in hers, squeezing it gently. Her hand felt so warm, so soft, my heart was racing. I looked up into her face, her large brown eye’s sparkling, her gaze fixed on mine. I swallowed hard, I was having difficulty breathing, I felt like I was moving, off balance, even though I was seated.
“Brian, would you mind if I kissed you ?”, she asked in a bashful tone, her eyes moving away from mine.
My senses were spinning, my heart pounding, I had never in my life felt this way around a girl, I was scared to death. I squeezed Ashley’s hand causing her to look back into my eyes.
“Ashley, I am afraid if you kiss me, I won’t be able to stop kissing you. I’m afraid of what might happen.”, I told her.
“Maybe I won’t ask you to stop.”, she said, as she swallowed hard.
I sat there for a few seconds just staring at this gorgeous creature, her hand in mine, wondering if I should take the most dangerous step I had ever taken in my life. Perhaps ten seconds later, Ashley put the situation out of mind as she leaned over and ever so gently, touched her lips to mine. I cannot describe adequately the feelings that were coursing through my body. She reached up with one hand and rested it on the back of my neck as she held my mouth against hers for what seemed like minutes instead of a few fleeting seconds. She finally gently pulled way from me, but her face was still only inches from mine, her eyes locked into mine, the fingers on her hand gently stroking the back of my neck. I just sat there staring at her, my mind still lost in the previous kiss.
“You ok ?”, she asked me, in a soft whisper.
I couldn’t speak, my mouth was as dry as the desert, my thoughts were scrambled. All I could do was shake my head up and down like a rag doll, acknowledging my approval. I saw a smile creep across her face in response to my nod, she took my hand, which was still in hers and lifted it to her cheek. In response I began to gently caress her cheek, in response she closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again, a slight mist forming.
“Brian, every fiber of my being is crying out for you to take me, forget everything and everyone, just live for this moment. Please tell me you feel the same way I do, or I will get up right now, walk away and we will never speak of this again.”, she said.
Deep down, I knew what the answer was, at least what it should have been. I needed to let her walk away, forget this night had ever gotten to this point. There was absolutely no way a relationship, even based on just sex, could possibly end in anything postive. But sometimes, even though your mind tells you what to do, the heart takes over, doing the exact opposite. It took maybe fifteen seconds or so, then my life changed in one instant, I crossed a line I could never go back across. I leaned over and pulled Ashley into my arms, my lips finding hers, this time in a long passionate kiss. When I pulled from her, I saw a tear running down her cheek, her eyes were filled with tears.
“Ashley are you ok ? What’s wrong ?”, I asked sincerely.
“Nothing’s wrong Brian, just kiss me.”, she whispered.
Once again our lips met, my arms wrapped tight around her upper body. . For the first time I felt the tip of her tongue touch my upper lip, I parted my mouth slightly, inviting her to continue. She gently eased more of her tongue between my lips, my own finding hers quickly. I can’t describe the feelings that I was experiencing, it seemed like a dream, I was hoping to never wake from. She finally pulled away from me, resting her head on my chest. I ran my fingers through her hair slowly, enjoying the warmth of her body on mine. She stayed that way for several minutes, until I thought I sensed she was crying. I tilted my head to the side trying to see her face. She lifted her head from my chest her eyes looking into mine, tears streaming down her face. She jumped up quickly from the sofa, an anguished look on her face.
“Oh God Brian, I am so sorry, I just can’t…..”, she stopped and ran for her bedroom, closing the door behind her loudly.
I just sat there stunned, what had just happened ? Everything up to that point she had put into motion, or at least it seemed that she had. I got up and slowly walked down the hallway to her bedroom door. I stopped and listened for a second, I heard nothing.
“Ashley, are you ok ?”, I asked.
“Please Brian, I need to be alone, I’m so sorry.”, she answered through the door.
I turned and went back down the hall into my room, sitting down on the bed. What in the hell had just happened ? Several times she had offered me the chance to walk away, but I didn’t. Then all at once, she bolted. I was more confused now than ever, things were really screwed up. I laid down on the bed and tried to analyze what had just happened. I knew one thing for sure, things between Ashley and I would never be the same. Not after what had just happened. I just laid there quietly thinking, hoping I would hear her bedroom door open and she would come back to me. Sometime during the night, I must have fell deep asleep, I woke to the sun streaming through the window, the clock read ten thirty eight in the morning. I sat up in the bed, listening intently to the sounds in the house but I heard none. I got up slowly and walked into the kitchen looking for Ashley, but she was not there. I looked out the kitchen window to the drive and I noticed her SUV was gone. I poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table trying to sort things out. Finally at about noon, I headed to the gym to get in a workout.
I finished my workout about three that afternoon, showered at the gym and changed. Rather than go home, I decided to take a ride into town and walk around. About five that evening I stopped in the diner and had dinner, I saw a few friends from highy school there, we talked for a while. On the drive home, I knew I had to pack right away and head back to school. There was no way Ashley and I could co-exist in the house right now with things this up in the air. As I pulled up to the house, I noticed she still wasn’t home, I actually became worried somewhat. I packed my bags quickly, placing them by the kitchen door. I found a small notebook in the kitchen drawer and scribbled a quick note to Ashley.
[ I am not sure how or what you feel right now but I think it’s best I go back to school and give you some privacy. I am so sorry if I offended you in any way, it was not my intention. I will call later on.]
I placed the note on the kitchen table where she was sure to see it, grabbed my bags and walked out of the door. I walked down to the corner, caught the first bus into town and arrived at the bus station. There was a bus leaving town in an hour, I quickly bought a ticket and sat down on the bench. I had been on the bus for maybe four hours when my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen, it was Ashley. I debated for a second, but decided to let it go to voicemail, I was not ready to talk. I arrived at school early the next morning, checked into the dorm and went straight to bed. I slept all of that day and late into the night. I got up, took a shower, then went back to bed again. I woke early the next morning, showered then headed out to get some breakfast. As I was walking across campus, I decided to check my messages. I had four missed calls from Ashley, she had left only one message. Nervously I dialed my voicemail and waited anxiously.
“Brian, why did you leave. Please, I am sorry, I just…. I needed to sort things out. This is your house, not mine. Please call me as soon as can. I miss you, we ……. We need to talk, I feel terrible…. Please call me …”
she said softly.
I put the phone back into my pocket, I would call her later, it would give me time to think. After breakfast I checked in with the trainers letting them know I was back on campus and to be put back in a regular rotation in the gym and on the track. By the time I got back to my dorm room it was noon, I decided to call Ashley. Her phone rang six or seven times before she picked up.
“Hello.”, she said, her voice cracking.
“Hey Ash, I got your message, so I’m ….”, I started to reply.
“Brian, why did you leave like that ? I have been a nervous wreck since I got back home. Please, never do that again.”, she interrupted.
“Ashley, how do you think I felt, when I got up in the morning and you were gone ? I had no idea what to think.”, I said.
“I’m sorry, I just needed to clear my head. I’m fine now, please come back home, you still have close to two months of vacation.”, she urged.
“I think it’s better that I stay up here for a while, I’ll come home in a week or so.”, I answered.
We talked for a few more minutes, but it was awkward as hell. I quickly made an excuse to get off of the phone. Early the next morning I began working out with the training staff twice a day, then running every other day. I did everything I could do to put Ashley as far out of my mind as I could. I worked out with a relentless drive that was even abnormal for me. Everyone up at school noticed it, I was quiet, distant and withdrawn. Ashley called several times the first few weeks, but every phone call seemed more strained than the previous one. Soon she stopped calling all togther and honestly, I was somewhat relieved. “Well if you ever need someone to talk to about anything, please come to me.”, she offered.
“Ok Ashley, I promise I will. Thank you.”, I answered.