My first week of collage was already proving to be busy. I had taken a lot of classes on the hope of getting into a real collage next year. Katie and I had talked about me coming to the same school as her. After the summer we had together she felt we could finally be together with out fear of taking things to far.
I really liked the idea of just being close to her. I was going to have to put in a lot of effort to make that happen. But I still had this thought in the back of my mind that if we went to collage together away from our family and people who knew us, maybe just maybe there was a chance for us to have a secret relationship.
I felt in my heart she really did love me, and I had to at least give that one try before giving up completely. I felt a stab of pain about Ash. I’d told her I would wait for her. But she was 14 and I felt that any day now she was going to come home from school and tell me all about some boy she fell for. That’s what 14 year old girls did.
I dreaded that day because it would hurt me terribly when it happened, but I knew that’s how girls were at that age. The idea that she would still feel the same way from age 12 when we had met to age 16 seemed unrealistic.
I started spending most of my time at the collage. When I wasn’t in class I was in the library. I was there some days from open in the morning to close at night. When I wasn’t in the school library I was studying in our library at home. Our library had a now been set up as my own at home office of sorts. This didn’t leave me much time for a social life. Ashley would come by and ask me questions about what I was studying. I didn’t mind her interruptions, as it turned out it would help me learn the subject matter if I had stopped to explain it to her. By teaching it to her it stuck better in my brain.
Most nights she would come see me right before bed. She would slip into the library and sneak kisses quickly then say goodnight. I loved those moments. That was my favorite time of day. She made me feel cared about in a way no one else in my life ever had.
If constant studying wasn’t bad enough I got an after school job working at the high school 3 days a week doing grounds clean up, landscaping and janitorial. I wanted some extra money so I could go out with my friends a couple times a month. With all the school, work, studying and putting my relationship on hold with Ash, I was feeling kind of lonely. I really needed a night out with a girl.
It was November when I had the thought to call Brook. I called her up and she was really surprised to hear from me. She said that she had given up the thought I would call her back. I told her that I had kind of been seeing someone in the mean time. But I told her I really would like to take her out. She thought a night out sounded nice.
That as it turned out I wasn’t able to take her out until the next week Friday. I picked her up at her apartment and we went out to dinner. It was a nice seafood restaurant. I’m not big on seafood but I had let her pick. Dinner was nice and somewhat romantic. I realized I hadn’t really ever been on a really romantic date of this type before, except for the winter formal. When I was dating Abby we mostly ate fast food and looked for places to fool around.
I found it extremely easy to talk to Brook. Maybe the fact that we had already been with each other took the edge off the whole first date thing. I liked being around her, she had an air about her that made me feel really comfortable.
After dinner we went for a drive out to the beach where we had met. It was empty tonight, which was fine with me. We walked in the moonlight finally settling down on the bank under some trees. We talked about nothing really for over an hour.
“Are you ever going to kiss me?” she asked finally.
“Oh......... yeah,” I had been having such a nice night with her I hadn’t really been thinking about that. I really did like talking with her. I kissed her lightly and she attacked my mouth. Her tongue trust forward dancing in my mouth before I had more then barely made contact with her. I gave her my tongue a moment later. We both kept our eyes open the whole time we kissed. We gazed into each other as I ran my hand up her leg and her hand flew down to mine and stopped me.
“No, that’s now a good idea,” she said pulling away, “Considering what you did to me last time I don’t think it’s a good idea to get going to far out here. I wouldn’t be able to ride home from being to soaked.” She giggle with that, and I laughed a little too.
We went back to just kissing and fell into each other. We laid down in the sand melting into each other. I ran my finger though her hair and slid my other hand up her shirt. She moaned as I played with her nipple.
“Ok killer,” she smiled at me, “It’s time to go.” I pulled away from her grinning. I liked the fact that I could effect an older woman so much.
I drove her home and she told me that I had earned some really good credit in her book tonight. I just kept grinning. She said if I kept it up she might actually give in one of these night.
I really liked the thought of losing my virginity to Brook. She was such a sweet and incredible lover. I still really wanted it to be Katie or Ash, but I wasn’t going to turn her down if she ever offered.
Brook gave me a long good night kiss and paused before getting out of the car. She bit her bottom lip as if trying to decide something, finally she said good night and got out of my car.
As the school year progressed I still had very little time most nights. I came home to late to eat dinner with the family. Most nights I came home made a sandwich and ate it in the library trying to get my homework done. I only saw Ash most days just long enough for her to give me hug and a quick kiss good night. I felt like her and I were growing apart. It looked to me like the thing I had been afraid of was starting to happen, she slowly gave me less kisses before bed. She didn’t come in to learn about what I was learning anymore. By Christmas break she would only give me a quick hug before going to bed. Even though I had expected this I was still saddened by it.
I didn’t get a chance to ask Brook out until Christmas break. I called her up and asked her for a date, but she said she couldn’t go. She told me that she really liked me but she had started seeing someone. She said she couldn’t just sit around the house waiting for me to call. I explained about my school and job. She said it was no hard feelings, she hadn’t taken it personally.
Christmas was on a Monday this year. The Saturday before Christmas I slept almost all day. It was the first full day off I had, had with no school, work or studying needing done. When I woke up I just laid in bed the rest of the day. Lilly finally knocked on my door in the late afternoon. She had been concerned because I hadn’t shown my face around the house yet. I told her I was just happy to have a day off. She understood and told me to come down for dinner her and my dad had something to talk to us about.
It was another hour before I got dressed and walked down stairs. Dinner was just getting started as I passed the kitchen heading for the rec-room. It was quite literally the first time I had been in the rec-room since school started.
I dropped down on the couch next to Ash. She was watching a movie. I didn’t really care what the movie was I was just happy to have a free moment to sit with Ash. Despite her pulling away from me lately she moved across the couch and snuggled her head against my shoulder as soon as I sat down. We didn’t say a word, we just sat like that until we were called for dinner.
We sat down to meat loaf and potato’s and greenbeeens. The meal looked really good.
“Well now that were actually having a family dinner with everyone here,” dad said turning to me, “We have an announcement.” He nodded to Lilly who was smiling like crazy.
“Were getting married,” She said barley able to hold back her excitement. Ash got up and running to her hugging Lilly. The girls were both crying. I walked over to dad and shook his hand and told him it was about time. He laughed at that and said yeah, he really should have asked her long ago. That to me was an understatement I mean they had been living together for 2 years.
The big day was planned for this summer. Dad had already planned the whole thing. I guess he had been putting money aside since he had been promoted last year. He had a reservation booked for to rent this small lodge for a whole week. It was a half a days drive to get there but the place had lots of rooms, an outdoor pool and spa, and a forest surrounding the whole place. Dad showed us the brochures and it looked awesome.
I thought it sounded like a really fun place to go for the summer. Lilly called Katie after dinner to let her know the news. They would’ve liked to have told us all together but Katie wasn’t coming home for Christmas. Katie was happy for her mother. She said that she couldn’t wait until the big event.
Around late December Ash got asked to the Christmas Eve dance that the school was having. A boy at school had asked her to go and she told him she would let him know. I wasn’t home at the time but I heard that Lilly talked her into going and having a good time with her friends. I felt a small twinge of jealousy when I heard about the story. I didn’t find out about any of it until the day after the wedding announcement.
It was Sunday and the dance was that night, Ash got dressed up again in the same dress from last year. Lilly had offered to get her a new one but she said no one at this school had seen it and she liked it so much she wanted to wear it again. Ash went with the boy and her friends at about 7:30 Christmas Eve. She was so cute I almost couldn’t stand it. She returned just after midnight she was smiling saying she had a good time. I was happy that she had fun, but it only re-enforced the suspicion I had that she was slowly moving on from me.
Christmas break was slow the first week. I had been so used to being busy I didn’t know what to do with all the free time I had right now. It seemed unreal. Ash had made quite a few new friends and spent most of her Christmas break away from the house.
My Dad and Lilly had a renewed sense of excitement with each other that week. They were extra flirty and I actually saw them pinching grabbing at each other. I was glad they really loved each other and had found one another again. It would’ve been a shame for them to not have reconnected. They told us that they were going out on New Years Eve and wouldn’t be home until late in the next day. They asked me if I could stay home and watch Ash. I shrugged and said sure.
New years eve came and I didn’t go out. I had kind of lost touch with my friends with my schedule this year. I also didn’t really want to party this time. The last party I had gone to had been both bad and wonderful in the end, but I wasn’t up for any of that tonight. Ash stayed home with me, even though she had been invited to a friends house. We laid on the couch snuggling until midnight. At midnight I gave her a sweet new years kiss and I walked to my room to go to bed.
Almost predictively she came into my room a short time later. She was only wearing her bra and panties. I was in only my boxers. I sprung up at the sight of her. We hadn’t been together since the end of summer. Her body had done some more developing in that time. Her breasts I once wrote were b-cups were now at least c-cup now. Her stomach now had more definition as did her sexy little legs.
She climbed into bed with out a word. She wiggled herself back into me like she used to do, but didn’t acknowledge my hard on.
“I know you said we need to stop everything................. but I really miss your love. I love you still so much,” she whispered with out looking at me, “ I just need you to hold me tonight, please don’t send me away.” Tears were rolling down her face.
“Ash, I love you so much,” I told her, “You can sleep with me tonight. I would never send you away.” I kissed the back of her head.
“You still love me?” she asked so quietly. I was surprised by the question. She had been pulling away from me.
“I’ll always love you, why would you think I didn’t?”
“I know you took out that other girl,” She almost choked on her words.
“Ash, we talked about waiting to be together.”
“That part wouldn’t have upset me except around the same time you stopped telling me you loved me.” She was sobbing now. Had I really forgotten to say the words to her?
“I’m sorry, angel.”
“I would come to give you kisses and you only said good night to me.” Her pretty little face was read and puffy. I kissed away the tears falling down her face.
“I thought since you were dating and you weren’t saying much to me you had forgotten me.” She was crying so hard her chest was heaving as she took in breaths. I hated that I had hurt her. She may have been smart for her age but some times I forgot that she really was a little girl.
“I love you so damn much it hurts,” I told her, “I’d die with out you. I was hurting inside because I thought you were giving me up.”
Her whole disposition changed in an instant. She stopped crying and started to smile slyly. She switched gears so quickly I was taken by surprise. She rolled over and kissed me deeply.
“Prove it to me,” She whispered. I wondered for a brief moment if what had just happened was real or if she was manipulating me. I was smart enough not to ask that question. If it had been real she would be devastated by me asking, if she had faked the crying she did it to break me of my vow to wait. But if it had all been an elaborate act to make me break our deal to wait until she was 16 it had worked.
She had just asked me to prove my love to her, and she was looking into my eyes. I slid down the bed bypassing her breasts. I pulled her panties off and trust my face into he pussy. She was so wet already that I felt almost as if I was drowning in her. I loved every second of it. It had been so long since we had been together that one nibble of her clit was all it took for her to orgasm. Screaming she sprayed my face as I slid my fingers inside her.
Her breathing was rapid as I had done in the past I didn’t giver her a break. I kept my assault on her going in full force. I didn’t lick inside her this time I continued to finger her and nibble her clit. She was trashing now as her second one hit.
“MOTHER FUCKING.......OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.” She screamed. More juices flowed and I was loving her taste. I had missed her so much these past few months. I didn’t know how I would be able to hold out for two more years. I wanted so bad to make love to her now.
I moved my lips up her body as she trusted against my fingers. I pushed off her bra and took her nipple in my mouth nibbling on it as I had her clit. Her scream shook the room as her third orgasm fired. I knew she was ready still sucking her nipple I pulled my fingers out of her and slid off my boxers. I moved between her legs. I was so hard and excited I came on her thigh as I was moving into place. She shuttered when I came on her.
“YES!,” She screamed, “THANK GOD YES.” I positioned myself between her and placed my cock to her pussy. I rubbed my cock all over her outer lips. She reached down to grab me an I stopped her by taking my hands in hers, I shook my head. I knew from experience how good and erotic this could feel. I had to be careful, she was so wet that it would only take one slight movement for me to slide into her. I had never done this to a girl before. I had, had it done to me but I used every bit of will power I had to not accidently slip up.
Her fourth orgasm hit and her hands gripped mine hard before she went limp. If I hadn’t seen this before I would have been worried. I rolled over next to her. She was dozing softly almost purring. I thought it was the most beautiful thing watching her chest rise and fall. I loved how she passed out from pleasure spikes. I had never heard of that happening to girls. It was one of the wonderful things that made her Ashley.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I really and truly was in love with her. Little by little this amazing girl had crept into my sole. I was going to spend my life with her. I really was going to do everything it took to be with her. I couldn’t envision myself with anyone else anymore, not even Katie. I wanted more then anything to lose my virginity with her. But I was determined to hold firm on this point I would not do it until she was legal.
The legal thing wasn’t so much about the law as it was about giving her time to change her mind. I mean look at me right now in this moment. Up until right this second I had spent from 13 to now dreaming at least in a small way about Katie.
I realized, as I was being honest with myself, Abby had only been a replacement. A place to push my love for Katie. Ash and I had started out with a different kind of love for each other, but now it had grown into real love for us both. But if I could out grow my feelings for Katie that I’d had for so long, then so could Ash. It was only fair I gave her that time.
She awoke around 4:00 a.m. I was still awake looking at her. She smiled big.
“I love it when you prove your love to me,” she whispered. I kissed her forehead.
“I love you Ashley.”
“I love you Joe.” We kissed as we laid there staring into each other’s eyes.
The next morning we still lay in bed holding each other. I told her about my feelings from the night before. I told her I was sorry I had gone out with Brook and I hurt her feelings. I told her I was going to wait for her. If I was going to ask her to wait until she was 16 then I would wait too.
“No.” I was shocked that she had said no.
“I don’t want you to wait for me. I want you to do what your heart truly wants.”
“What my heart truly wants is to be here in your arms forever.”
“What about Katie?” She asked me firmly.
“I love you Ash. Katie was a dream in a long ago world.”
“I don’t believe you.” She rolled over facing away from me.
“Ash,” I whispered stroking her cheek.
“Don’t miss understand me,” tears formed in her eyes, “I want to be honest with you.”
“What is it?” I didn’t understand why she was crying again.
“I tricked you last night,” she stated, “I wanted us to break the waiting, I wanted to trick you into making love to me. Yet you still held back.”
“It doesn’t mean.......” I began.
“I know you love me. You’ve proven it to me both physically and emotionally. But after the intensity of what we did together the last couple of times, you still couldn’t actually do it last night. Why Joe? Why couldn’t you actually give yourself to our love like I’ve been begging you too? And don’t you dare tell me it was my age.” She had me dead to rights. It had taken every ounce of me not to penetrate her.
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t lie to ME, Joe,” She started crying harder, “Not to me, tell me why? If you love me soooo much, why can’t you make love to me? Why?”
“I don’t know why I held back with you last night. Your right it was the most intense moment of my life.”
“Katie. It was Katie,” She rolled over to look at me, “I’m not asking you to choose between us, Joe, but you need to choose yourself. That’s why you held back.” I kissed her forehead. When had this little girl gotten so much smarter then me. She understood things better then I did myself.
“Your right. About all of it.”
“I know.” She kissed my cheek and climbed out of bed. She picked up her bra and panties and left my room.
We didn’t talk about our relationship again as we spent the rest of the vacation together. We didn’t do anymore proving of our love, we just sat together and cuddled. Lilly told me one night that she thought it was so cute that we still did that. I made sure to tell Ash every night I loved and cared for her.
For as slow as I had thought the first week of vacation had gone the second week flew by. Before I blinked it seemed I was already back to school. I was taking a few less classes this semester which meant I could spend a little more time at home.
The talk around the house was all about the wedding. There were napkins to pick and seating charts. It seemed dad was giving Lilly the dream wedding he felt she deserved. Every seemingly tiny detail that could conceivably be discussed was planned. I was really happy to be busy at that time, I really didn’t want to get involved.
With all the planning going on Lilly didn’t want Katie to feel like she was left out. Lilly would call her every night and describe how different things looked to get her opinion on everything. As I write this today I think, Wow the things we used to have to do before we all had phones with cameras. But I digress. Back then thing took 3 times longer to explain with out pictures.
One night I heard part of Lilly’s conversation with Katie an it sounded bad. I asked her later and she told me that Katie had broke up with another boyfriend. Of course I was the only one in the house that knew Katie had really been dating a girl. Lilly was mad for her daughter. She asked me if there was some broken part of us that made men cheat? I told her I wouldn’t know. She smiled and said of course not, she patted me on the shoulder and walked away.
I wondered what Lilly’s comment would have been had she known that it was a woman who had cheated on Katie. It made me realize that men and women were just as bad as the other some times. I felt bad for Katie, I wished there was something I could do to help her through her latest break up.
I wish I could tell you that point in my life was an exiting time, but it really wasn’t. I went to school, I went to work, I hung around the house. The one fun development was that this semester I ended up having a bunch of classes with Brook. Because we had that same homework we would often work on it together in the school library. I found I really liked spending time with her. If I wasn’t so in love with Ash, I would’ve liked to take Brook out again.
I reapplied to all the collages I had wanted to go to. With my collage scores and activities I as actually accepted into a couple. One of which was Katie’s. I actually got so excited about that I burnt the acceptance letters to the other collages and told everyone I had only gotten in to Katie’s.
My family thought it was great that I had gotten it at her school. Dad thought now that two of his kids going to school there he would rent us an apartment off campus so Katie didn’t have to live in the dorm anymore and I could look after her in town. I didn’t disagree.
I was going out of my mind about sharing an apartment that was just me and Katie. What was wrong with me? I loved Ash now didn’t I? But I was doing all this stuff to be left alone with Katie. I was just as confused now as I had ever been. I was torn between the girl of my childhood dreams and the girl I loved in the here and now.
The school year came to a close with only one note of excitement. It was the last night before my final exams, I was in the campus library it was really late and I knew it was getting time for me to leave before they kicked me out.
Brook was passing the research room I was sitting in and she knocked on the door. The research rooms were small rooms with a single window in the front and a table under the window. The room had no blinds to hide from passerby’s but you could lock the door so you wouldn’t be disturbed while working.
I got up and opened the door. Brook walked in wearing a t-shirt a jean skirt and fur boots. Keep in mind this was years before that style was popular. I loved that look on her tan legs.
We talked for a while she was a little depressed from having broken up with her boyfriend recently. I told her I was in a complicated relationship between two girls. She laughed and told me she didn’t think I was the type of guy to date two girls at once. I said that technically I wasn’t actually dating either one of them. She said if I wasn’t dating them then technically I was single.
She asked me if I was still a virgin. I turned red instantly. She giggled. I asked her why, was she going to keep her promise? She aske what promise? I reminded her of the joke she had made on the morning we had met each other, about not letting me finish my freshman year still a virgin.
“Maybe,” she replied grinning, “You’ve been nothing but sweet to me, the kindest boy I know. I think you may have earned enough points for me to give in to you now.” She leaned in and kissed me before I could answer. I let my hormones take over in that first contact between us. I remembered the morning we had first fooled around, she had told me I would have to earn my way into sleeping with her. I actually felt lucky right then for the chance.
As we kissed I thought of Ash. I don’t know why I had such a hard time with the thought of having sex with Ash when I had no such problem letting it happen between myself and Brook. In fact I knew in just a minute I would give in to her when she offered it to me. I was kissing her already thinking about a few minutes from now when I would be sliding it into her as she lay on the table. Then I realized why. This really meant nothing to me. Sure Brook was a gorgeous and sweetheart of a girl but this was just sex. Like Abby when we had first hooked up at that party.
I started moving her backwards as we kissed. I was about to lean her back on the table when she stopped me.
“Do you have any condoms?” she asked me. I shook my head. I never thought to carry them. I mean really how often did this really happen to me?
“Its ok. Here’s what were going to do,” she pushed me down into the chair, “I’m going to get you off first. Then I’ll let you fuck my brains out when your empty.” She kneeled underneath the table and reached for my zipper.
“Oh my god..........” I moaned as her hand pulled me out of my jeans. She didn’t tease me this time she just went strait to work sucking and playing with the tip of my cock with her tongue in her mouth. She was so good at this I couldn’t believe I was holding out like I was. Between her tongue and the sense of danger involved here I was holding my own really good.
She sucked me so hard I thought she was going to pull the skin off my cock when she moved up every stroke. It was getting really intense she opened her stance kneeling on the floor and slid her hand inside her pussy. She had juices running down her legs forming a puddle underneath her. She leaked more fluid then any girl I had ever seen, I remembered the last time we had flooded her bed.
I looked up all of a sudden out the window. The lights were going out. The only lights left on were the ones they left on all night. I knew from past nights that meant someone would be around to check for people any minute. I came in her mouth strong without warning. She spit it out on the floor in the puddle of juices she had left there. She looked up and shrugged.
“We have to go now,” I told her shoving my books into my backpack. I didn’t want to get caught in the room with the juices on the floor. We slipped out of the room and ran down the stairs, and out the front door without being seen. We walked a block to her car. She looked down at her legs they were wet and glistening in the low light. We both broke out laughing.
Now that the mood was over she said she wasn’t so horny anymore as much as she wanted a shower and to head to bed. I hugged her and gave her one more kiss. I knew as we parted ways that night I would never see Brook again.
The next day I was officially done with my year at community collage. I had spent the whole year preparing for the next year. I hadn’t participated in any of the usual collage things because I really wanted my real collage experience to be when I left home next year. Now all my work and sacrifice had paid off.
Preview: Chapter 8: Virginity Lost
I knew what she wanted. I still didn’t know if I could give it to her. I laid on top of her kissing her with all my love and passion for her. I was on my knees between her leg, palms resting flat on the bed on either side of her breasts. She pulled up her skirt between us and pulled down her panties. My heart was beating in my rib cage so hard I thought I might die. I knew what she wanted. I wanted what she wanted. But I still hadn’t sorted out Katie yet. I couldn’t take Ash’s virginity without being whole heartedly in love with her. For an angel like her she deserved better. I loved her so much my heart was trying to explode from anticipation. Could I really do this? What was my real fear?
She unbuttoned my jeans. My breathing was heavy. It was like I was the virgin here not her. She unzipped my jeans. My heart beat was hard and I felt like I might pass out. She slid down my jeans to my knees. I almost couldn’t breath. She grabbed my cock and I came on her stomach. I grew harder as she continued to stroke. I started shaking, I hadn’t been this nervous when I slept with Katie.
“Calm down,” she said running her other had over my cheek, “I want this more then I’ve ever wanted anything. I’ve wanted this since I was twelve.” My shaking had turned to a shutter. I knew this was the moment. It was now, today I had never been this scared overy anything before. I closed my eyes as I lowered my hips and slid down a little. I kicked my jeans off my lower legs.
“It’s okay,” she whispered in my ear, “Your not going to hurt me.”
It was now. I listened for the a sign that i should stop. Something to tell me if I doing the right thing. Thunder, a loud crash , anything but it didn't come. The only sound in that moment was an angelic voice whispering in my ear, “I love you so damn much.”