My life story continues with an helping hand from Cathy. I am tempted by an angel but not who you are thinking of.
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 23 Tempted By Angels

In my last chapter, I had started to tell Kay, Sherri and Cathy the full story of Terri, Carrie, my Vietnam tours and was going to tell them all about “Carrie’s Place.” I had been having some problems of mine own around that time. It seemed as if Vietnam had come back to haunt me after twenty long years.

As I stood by the fireplace telling them my story, I relived everything I was telling them. I could feel Carrie rubbing her hands across my chest as we had fun with Terri at our neighborhood lake when we were teenagers. I was able to smell that rotten smell of the jungles of Vietnam when I told them of my tours of duty. Cathy and I both smelled “White Diamond” perfume which was Carrie’s favorite and Cathy’s as well except that Cathy was not wearing any that night.

Sherri my sweet daughter of seventeen seemed to know bits and pieces of my story as I told it. She even produced the letter Terri and Carrie had written me about a dream they had which ended up happening to me while I was in Vietnam. As I was telling my story, I became irritated each time Sherri would say that angel Carrie had told her. I finally lost it as I was explaining how I woke up in a hospital in Japan after receiving wounds in Vietnam.

“You awoke in Japan with Carrie in your room daddy,” Sherri said as she wiped her eyes.

I stood there for a few seconds before I felt something snap in my head. My body felt as if I was standing in fire. Maybe I was in hell I did not know. I did know I could no longer stand not knowing how she knew this stuff. I could feel the monster within taking over as I glared sharply at Sherri.

I tried to stop myself however, I could not as I shouted, “HOW DO YOU know these things and don’t fucking tell me angel Carrie.”

“JOHN STOP IT, that is enough,” Cathy yelled out to me as she stood up with her arms folded in front of her.

I turned my attention to her. I saw Carrie instead of Cathy. I blinked my eyes to get the vision to go away. However, it did not. I turned back to Sherri who was just staring at me with tears in her eyes.

“I am sorry princess I did not mean to yell at you,” I said looking to the floor.

Sherri replied, “It is OK daddy and someday I will also tell you the truth.”

I loved that sweet girl as my own child. To me she was Melissa the daughter Carrie was carrying when she had her tragic accident. Sherri had tugged at my heart since the day I met her. She was a special child who never failed to amaze me. The only problem I had with her was she growing up; to me she was still that sweet little girl of ten who I always called and treated like a princess.

Cathy, Kay’s girlfriend had told me that the troubles as I would call them were from not wanting Sherri to grow up as next year she would be off for college after the summer. I was not for sure whether she was right or not but since Cathy reminded me of Carrie, I always took her words as the truth.

However as I told my story to the girls that night not only did Carrie talk to me. In addition, the monster that lived deep in my soul had some words for me as well. I suggest you read my last chapter as well as all of them. I will start this chapter in the hot tub with Kay and Cathy.

I took my beer from Kay as I just smiled. I pressed the cold beer to my forehead as I felt as if my head was on fire. When the beer bottle touched my fore head, it instantly chilled my whole body. I started to shake uncontrollably as I sat there.

I was cold then burning up. I could not keep my head up and I could feel the beer bottle slipping from my hand. I dropped the beer bottle from my hand watching it slip below the water of the hot tub. My eyes closed as it disappeared into the water. My body fell toward Cathy not knowing what was happening to me.

“The answer lies in that drawer in your workshop,” the voice said to me in a dark evil tone.

I suddenly saw a little girl standing by a lake with her arms folded in front of her as she said, “Daddy I won’t wait for you if you do that.”

“MELISSA, ‘’ I screamed as I slumped over against Cathy.

“JOHN WHAT IS WRONG,” I heard Kay screaming.

“Help me get him into the house Kay,” I remember hearing Cathy yelling as I felt as if I was being moved.

“JOHN, wake up, John snap out of it,” Cathy said as I felt her hand slapping against my face.

I opened my eyes and as they focused I replied, “Carrie, you came back,” I looked to Kay as I added, “I see you brought Terri with you as well,” as my eyes went closed again.

I remember nothing after I saw Carrie and Terri. I did not see darkness or bright lights. I heard no voices talking to me or guiding me. The only thing I remembered was nothing. My life and the story I had been telling the girls seemed to just end as emptiness filled my mind.

My eyes opened and they started to focus as I looked around. I was in bed a hospital bed once again. I saw an IV running from my hand. I tried to lift my hands however, they would not move. I looked and I saw my hands strapped down to the bed.

I closed my eyes again as I remembered asking Cathy if I was crazy. I must be as they had me strapped down in my bed. I wondered if I had went to my workshop taking the easy way out as that voice had told me to do. I must have screwed that up as I had everything else in my life I thought as I lie there.

“John, are you awake,” Kay said as I felt her hand on mine.

I opened my eyes and I just stared at her. At least I had not done her any harm. I looked around the room to see if anyone else was in the room. Kay and I were alone in the hospital room. I felt Kay taking her other hand rubbing to the side of my face. I looked into her eyes as she stared back into mine.

“John why didn’t you tell me that you had malaria while you served in Vietnam?” Kay asked.

“MALARIA,” I yelled still dazed and confused. “Yeah I had it in Vietnam but that was 20 years ago,” I added as I struggled with the straps holding my hands and arms down.

“Calm down John everything is going to be alright,” Kay said as she stroked my face.

“Why are my hands strapped down?” I asked.

Kay smiled as she replied, “You do not play well with others when you are out of your head and they are trying to help you, John.” “They were strapped down for their safety as well as your own,” Kay added.

I started to ask Kay if I had … however her finger went to my lips as she said, “No John you did not hurt anyone.” “Close your eyes and rest while I go find the nurse or doctor to see about removing your straps.”

Kay bent over and she kissed me lightly on my lips before she walked from my room. Malaria I thought as I lie there. I had it during the Vietnam War and was sick for 4 or 5 days. Damn it that was twenty fucking years ago.

I remember it well because to me it was the best four or 5 days I had ever spent in Vietnam. I was totally out of my head back then with hallucinations, as every nurse I had looked at was Carrie in my mind. Hell if not for the night sweats, the cold chills and that eerie feeling I had. I would say it was almost enjoyable.

“Wait a minute,” I said to myself as I lie there in that bed.

The night sweats, the cold chills, that eerie feeling I had been having lately and the hallucinations of Carrie and Terri being with me. It all started to make sense to me in a way.

Kay came back into the room following a doctor. The doctor shined a light into my eyes asking a few question. He looked at my chart as he shoved a probe or something into my mouth. The doctor read it then turned to me.

“I think we can undo those straps now Mr.______,” The doctor said.

I looked at him then to Kay with disbelief on my face. That was the first time in my life that a doctor did not call me Sgt. J. I did not know how to react, as I was unsure I liked it when he called Mr._______.

The doctor explained what happened to me as he undid my straps. He explained that the type of Malaria that had infected me was cerebral malaria. A parasite can sequester in the liver and remain dormant for long periods, even years. Once these liver stages return to the blood and start multiplying again, the patient will get a recurrence of malaria symptoms. The doctor went on telling me that my wife and her girlfriend were very helpful in that they described my symptoms in such detail he knew what test to run right away.

“Your lucky son this type of malaria can be deadly,” “You owe your life to your wife and her girlfriend I believe,” the doctor said before he left my room.

I tried to sit up in my bed however; I was still somewhat weak. Kay raised the back of my bed up for me with the bed control. Kay sat back down onto the bed taking my hand into her hand.

Kay patted my hand as she said, “You had us all worried again John,” as she smiled to me.

I looked deep into her eyes as I said, “I am sorry I ever got you involved with my fucked up life,” as I turned my head from looking at her.

“JOHN don’t you ever say anything like that ever again,” Kay yelled at me.

“It’s true Kay I have caused nothing but grief and disappointment,” I replied with my head still turned away.

Kay’s hand went to my chin and as she pulled my face toward her as she said, “Disappointment and grief maybe to you but never to Sherri and I.” “John you are the best thing that ever came into my life,” “You know Sherri worships you John,” Kay added as her hand started to stroke the side of my face.

Kay had a real serious look on her face as she said, “John your still the man I fell in love with when I swore I would never love another.” “You’re still my knight in shining armor,” “You’re still that man that makes our daughter happy when she could be withdrawn and hateful toward me.” “You’re still that man that makes us both happy.” Kay smiled at me as she added, “If that is disappointment John then I can live with the grief.”

Kay’s little speech had left me speechless. I answered her the only way I could. I kissed her hand as I replied, “Kay I love you and I always will.”

“I love you as well John,” Kay said before she wrapped her arms around me kissing me fully on my lips.

I broke our kiss then I gazed into her eyes as I asked, “How did I end up here?” “I remember seeing Carrie and Terri standing over me and then nothing,” I added as I stared at her.

“Cathy suspected something was wrong with you John,” “She had told me before dinner that you had been acting stranger than normal all week long,” Kay replied with a smile.

Kay went on to tell me that she had also noticed that I had been waking up in the middle of the night sweating profoundly. You also have been a little quieter than normal. Which means something was bothering you. Cathy and I talked about it and we both thought that maybe it would have been better if you did not tell Sherri your story. We both tried to stop you however; you did not take the hint.

“Cathy told me that she could tell you were reliving every word of your story as you told us,” Kay said. “Cathy told me that if you got out of hand she knew how to stop you John,” Kay added smiling.

I sat there thinking so that was what the two of them were whispering to each other that night. I also thought about how Cathy had stopped me by becoming Carrie to me. If Cathy did not remind me so much of Carrie what would have happened if she had not stopped me I wondered.

I took a hold of Kay’s hand as I said, “I am sorry Kay,” “You must get tired of hearing that from me.”

“Never John it’s when you stop telling me that I will worry,” Kay replied.

“I owe you and Cathy my thanks,” I said to her gazing into her eyes.

Kay smiled as she replied, “More like Cathy she was calm and knew what to do.” “Cathy knew you were having some type of an event that had to do with Vietnam, she just did not know why.” Until we rushed you to the hospital and told the doctor how this all came about,” Kay added.

“How did just the two of you get me to the car?” I asked.

“We played off of your hallucinations,” “You thought we were Carrie and Terri so we told you to come with us to the lake for some fun,” Kay replied. “You would have done anything we asked you too,” Kay, added smiling at me.

“But then how did I end up being strapped to the bed?” I asked.

“As we walked into the emergency room you saw a pregnant woman lying on an ambulance cart,” “You thought it was Carrie and you became very upset and when they tried to help you, well let’s just say you had to be placed in restraints,” Kay replied. “John it took four men to get you down,” Kay added.

“I will tell them I am sorry Kay,” I replied hoping I had not hurt any of them.

“There is no need they understood,” Kay said as her hand went to my face.

Kay smiled as she asked, “Would you like to see Cathy and Sherri they are outside as they would only let me in to be with you.”

“Why was that?” I asked.

“You seemed to get very agitated when they visited you where as you were calm when I was with you,” Kay replied with a smile.

I thought for a second before I asked, “Kay how long this time?”

“Just 2 days without the man we all love,” Kay replied with a smile.

“Maybe later I feel like closing my eyes for a while,” I said.

“John, I understand,” “You would like to be alone for awhile to collect your thoughts but those two are worried about you,” Kay replied.

I shook my head yes and smiled at Kay. She told me she would be back in an hour or so. I watched her walk out of my room. I had a lot of thinking to do as I had many unanswered question running around in my head. The main one being MALARIA what the fuck?

I lie there wondering if malaria was the cause of all my problems. All the visions I ever had of Carrie and Melissa. The years of believing that Carrie some how was still with me even after her death. Was that all due to having the malaria parasite still in my body? That dam war had caused me nothing but grief, I wished I had never done my duty by serving in that damn war I thought laying there.

I closed my eyes hoping to go to one of my happy places. I did not care whether it was with Carrie at the lake or with Kay in my office. My mind did not take me anywhere. Instead, I went into the blackness of nothing. I closed my eyes tighter hoping to see something but I saw nothing.

I opened my eyes to see Sherri standing beside my bed. Sherri’s hand touched mine as she bent down looking into my eyes. Sherri tilted her head as she gazed deeply into my eyes.

Sherri smiled to me as she said, “Daddy, she still watches over you.” She reached out her hand touching my face as she added, “Let me help you daddy,” as she lightly ran her finger around my face.

Sherri traced my eyes, my nose and then my ears with one finger. Sherri placed her hand to my heart. as she bent over placing her mouth near my ear.

She whispered lightly, “Take a deep breath through your nose.” I did as the smell of “White Diamond” perfume filled them.

“Now close your eyes daddy,” Sherri whispered next. I closed my eyes and I saw the gentle waves rolling against the shoreline with the moon full and stars in the background.

“Filter all the noise from the room daddy,” Sherri whispered.

I did as she asked and when I heard no sounds at all. I started to hear the sounds of the water gently crashing over the rocky shoreline. My ears filled with crickets and frogs as I heard their night serenades. I also heard a voice as it filled my ears.

“I am here John,” Carrie said.

I opened my eyes to see Sherri standing there with her hand on my heart as she said, “She will always be in your heart daddy,” smiling to me.

“Thank you princess,” I replied as I took her into my arms pulling her to myself hugging her. “Someday I will be there when you need me always remember that,” I whispered into her ear.

“Mommy and Cathy are coming in,” Sherri whispered into my ear.

She broke our hug as her hand went to my hand. She turned toward the door. I looked toward the door and with in two seconds Kay and Cathy came walking into my room. Sherri turned to me and smiled.

“You are truly special princess,” I said to her smiling.

“Only because of you daddy,” Sherri replied.

Cathy came over bent down wrapping her arms around my neck as she gave me a big hug she whispered, “Welcome back John.”

“Thanks for saving me Cathy,” I whispered into her ear.

“Someday you will return the favor,” Cathy whispered into my ear before she looked to Sherri.

I did not understand what Cathy meant by that nor did I really care as I looked to Kay closing my eyes. I was standing in my office with her in my arms. The sunlight creeping slowly toward us until it enlightens us with both warmth and happiness. I once again felt the warmth and calmness as it entered my body. I opened my eyes to see Kay opening hers.

“I was there as well John,” Kay said smiling.

I smiled as I swung my feet over the side of the bed and I stood up. I was a little dizzy and wobbly as I stood there. The girls went to grab me but I stopped them. I grabbed the IV sack from the holder taking small steps across the room.

I had gotten about halfway across the room when all three of them yelled out, “JOHN, you get back in that bed right now.”

I smiled as I replied, “I fought for your freedom and my right to stand when I have to piss,” as I made my way to the bathroom.

I really had to go bad too. I have always hated pissing into a goddamn bottle when in the hospital. I walked from the bathroom to the three girls waiting outside the door. Kay got on one side and Cathy got on my other as Sherri got behind me. The three of them helped me back to my bed. When we got to the bed, I felt a hard smack of Sherri’s hand to my bare butt sticking from my hospital gown.

“That’s for being sick and not telling anyone and also for questioning your duty daddy,” Sherri whispered into my ear as she hugged me.

I spent four or five more days in the hospital. They told me that if I ever felt like that again to make sure I sought out treatment. The next time you may not have that angel looking out for you they told me.

I smiled as I replied, “She is always with me.”

I returned home once more. Once home, Kay and Sherri insisted that I do nothing. That also included having sex with Kay or Cathy, which did not make any sense to me. They both waited on me all the time. I started to feel useless which only added to my unstable mind. There was nothing wrong with me physically the problem lie in my mind. There constant taking care of me dragged on for two more weeks.

I started to have nightmares of Vietnam during the daytime when I would fall asleep on the sofa. It was always the same nightmare. It would be Phil, Kevin, Joe and I on patrol in Vietnam. In my nightmare, I was the one who stepped on the land mine. I knew it had not been me, as I would not have heard the click bang before it went off however it still troubled me.

“That damn fucking war had caused all of this,” I would sit there thinking. The more I thought about it the more depressed I felt. You may remember in past chapter both Kay and Cathy stating that they had never been with a man like me before. They were always telling me how I was so different from most men.

Most people get sad or very unhappy when they are depressed. Well I am not like them when I get depressed. I get very angry; hostile is probably a better word to use when describing it. I would sort of be looking to pick a fight with anyone. By fight, I mean a verbal contest not anything physical. I had been trying to pick a verbal fight with Kay and Sherri for about a week. However, neither of them would take the bait so to speak. They both would just walk out of the room.

Kay was the first to learn this one day when she was getting ready to go to work. I wanted to return to work however; Kay told me that I needed to stay at home and rest.

“John, your company is doing just fine without you,” Kay said as she sat beside me on the sofa. “If Frank or I need your help we know where to find you,” Kay added.

My mind snapped as I replied, “I suppose Frank is taking care of my other duties as well,” giving her one of my looks.

“Just what do you mean by that, JOHN?” Kay replied with anger in her voice.

“He is handling my company so why not my wife,” I said angrily back to her.

“JOHN, HOW DARE YOU,” Kay screamed before I felt her hand landing at the side of my face. “JOHN, what ever your problem is you have better get over it quick or I will do it for you,” Kay yelled as she walked out the door.

She slammed the door as I yelled, “Don’t go away mad just go away.”

The door flew back open with Kay standing there pissed as hell. She shook her finger at me as she screamed, “That’s it MISTER don’t wait for me to return home because I won‘t be,” as she slammed the door again.

I sat there not giving a damn if she returned or not. I sat there brooding for a while knowing that I had no reason to take it out on her. Kay was just trying to help me. I decided I would call the florist later and send her a dozen roses. I heard Sherri come walking up the hallway.

I had been picking on Sherri for the last three or four days. I would yell at her to take her damn dog outside. I would tell her to go put on decent clothes around me instead of running around half dressed all the time.

Sherri would always just smile as she replied, “Yes daddy I will do as you say.”

“Daddy, what was all that yelling?” Sherri asked as she neared the sofa.

“Just your mom and I having some words,” I replied.

“Why were you yelling at her?” Sherri asked tilting her head at me.

“Because I just fucking wanted too that’s why,” I screamed at the top of my lungs as I gaze at her for no reason.

Sherri stood there for a few seconds just staring at me until she finally replied, “I just fucking asked JOHN.” Sherri put her hands on her hips as she added, “Don’t be starting no shit with me or I will bust you up along side of your fucking head,” “Don’t fuck with me JOHN it is my time of the month.”

“Young lady you watch your mouth when you are talking to me,” I yelled as I jumped off the couch my eyes glaring at her as I stood there.

“Fuck you daddy, that is the only way to get through to you sometimes,” Sherri screamed back. “Come on fuck with me, I will plant my foot so far into your balls you will have something to be pissed about,” Sherri added as she took a fight stance in the living room.

I could tell from the look on her face she meant those words she had just told me. I walked toward the kitchen then I stopped thinking about letting her have it again. I turned back to see she was still standing there in a fighting stance her eyes glaring at me.

“How about some breakfast princess,” I asked in a gentle tone of voice.

Sherri smiled as she replied, “That would be nice and I will help.”

We both walked into the kitchen where we threw some eggs and bacon together as well as some toast. We sat down and had breakfast without saying a word to each other. When Sherri was done, she sat there just staring into my eyes.

“What are my eyes telling you?” I asked as I stared back at her.

Sherri did not smile as she replied, “That you are depressed and you hate mom and I waiting on you.” “We only do it because we love you John and we both want the John we used to know to return,” Sherri added.

“Princess I am sorry I yelled at you,” I replied. “It’s just…” I started to say but stopped, as I just could not bring myself to tell her that the war had finally beaten me.

“Daddy the sooner you talk about your problem the sooner you will forget them,” Sherri paused as she gazed into my eyes before she asked, “Or are you going to let that damn war beat you?”

“You never fail to amaze me,” I replied as I stared at her.

“It’s our bond daddy and I know just what you need,” Sherri said as left the table.

I did not get a chance to ask her what I needed as she was on her way to her bedroom. I just shook my head as I gather up the plates. I was cleaning them as I heard Sherri say, “I will be home later,” as she ran out the door.

After I had finished the dishes, I called and sent 2 dozen roses to Kay at work. I told them to sign the card from “MISTER.” I had just sat back down when Coco started to bark. That damn dog could hear a car pulling into our driveway before it even did. I waiting for a few minutes then I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to see Cathy standing there.

“Your daughter is worried about you John,” Cathy said looking at me.

“Well maybe you should be too,” I replied as I walked away.

Cathy followed me into the living room. I sat down onto the sofa as she stood in front of me. Cathy stood there staring at me as she shook her head from side to side. She had the look of disgust on her face.

“WHAT?” I yelled out.

“How pitiful you are John,” “So brave in Vietnam, so brave to start over when you lost Carrie and Melissa, so brave and caring to help Kay and Sherri,” Cathy said then she paused looking at me. “Yet so afraid to face the real issue at hand, which is yourself,” Cathy added.

“Oh so I brought this all upon myself,” I replied angrily.

Cathy walked to me and she rubbed her hand to the side of my face as she said, “Your problem is not with that war, it is not with Kay or with Sherri John.” “Your problem lies within yourself.” Cathy bent over and she kissed my forehead as she added, “You are still that young boy of eighteen who ran from his problems.” “It is time for that boy to become a man once again.”

I knew what she was getting at instantly. As a young boy, I ran away to Vietnam because I did not want to face losing Terri. I went to a foreign land to fight instead of fighting to get her back. I also blamed the war for taking my brother from me. I wanted to go kill as many of them as I could for him.

“A boy went to Vietnam to fight where he became a man,” “He returned home only to become a boy again,” Cathy said staring into my eyes. “The boy returned to Vietnam because it was his duty as a man.”

“The man returned home wounded hurting not from his wounds but because we could not save his friends.” “The man slowly turned back into that boy as he frolicked at the lake with the girl who loved him,” Cathy said.

“The boy turned back into a man when his girl became his wife and carried his child.” “The man lost his wife and child only to become that boy again who once more ran from his problems,” Cathy added still staring into my eyes.

“You can stop I understand,” I replied as I looked away from her eyes.

The whole time Cathy had been standing there talking to me, I saw her as Cathy. I wanted and needed her to be Carrie, as I believe it would have soaked in better if I had seen her as Carrie. However, I knew that might never happen again.

Cathy sat down beside me on the sofa taking my hand into hers as she asked, “You did not see me as Carrie did you John?”

I shook my head no as she asked, “You did get what I meant?”

“Yes, it is time I grow up and become the man I once was,” I replied squeezing her hand.

“That brave fearless man who can face anything because of what he carries in his heart not in his mind,” Cathy said smiling at me.

I wrapped my arms around her pulling her tightly against me. I whispered thank you into her ear. As I hugged her, I nibbled at her ear with my lips. The nibble turned to kisses on her ear. I kissed along her neck working my way to her face. I placed my lips onto hers. I kissed her deeply and with passion. It felt strange to me as I did because for the first time in a long time I was kissing Cathy and not Carrie. Cathy returned my kisses with deep passionate ones of her own.

Her hands pulled my face toward hers as our lips rolled over each other’s lips. Our tongues danced together as our mouths opened. The kissing went on for what seemed like hours. Her lips tasted different to me as if it was the first kiss we had shared.

Cathy broke our kiss as she said, “John you never kissed me like that before,” as she used her hand to fan her face.

I did not reply as I somewhat just pushed her down onto the sofa. I lie gently on top of her pressing my lips to hers once more. We kissed and licked at each other’s face. I reached and unbuttoned the shirt she had worn. I licked and kissed my way across the tops of her heaving breasts. I removed my lips from her breasts as I pulled her up from the sofa.

I eased the shirt down one side of her shoulder as I kissed and licked at it. I did the same to her other shoulder as I removed her shirt. I kissed and licked at her ear as my hands went behind her back. I unhooked her bra then slipped it from her breasts.

Cathy’s hands went to my shirt. She pulled it over my head tossing it to the floor. She kissed and licked at my chest for a while. She ran her lips back up to mine kissing me deeply and passionately. I kissed her back with the same passion as well as lust.

I wanted her badly. I wanted her as Cathy not Carrie. I wanted her as the woman I held in my arms not the women I saw in my mind. I closed my eyes as I lie her back down onto the sofa. I saw nothing come into my mind. I opened my eyes as I broke our kiss.

“I never realized just how lovely you are as Cathy to me,” I said as my tongue ran from her face to her chest.

My tongue ran over her breasts leaving a wet trail. Cathy moaned as my tongue ran across her nipples. Her hands went to my head where she ran her fingers through my hair as my tongue toyed at her nipples. My hands groped at her breasts as I started to suckle on one of them.

“AHHhh John,” Cathy cooed out pulling my head tighter against her tit.

I suckled one then the other. I used my hands to smash them together making her nipples touch. I flicked my tongue at both of her nipples making them grow big and hard. I took both nipples into my sucking on them. I removed my mouth and my hands from her tits.

I kissed and licked my way down her abdomen. I ran my tongue around her belly button before I eased it to the top of the jeans she wore. I unsnapped her jeans then unzipped them. Cathy eased up off the sofa as I pulled her jeans from her legs.

“You naughty girl you wore no panties I see,” I said as I looked at her lovely pussy lips hanging down surrounded by her hair.

I ran my hand over her hairy mound lightly touching her pussy lips with my fingers. Cathy moaned softly as my fingers ran over her pussy lips. I moved my hands to the underside of both her knees. I jacked them up into the air and I spread her legs apart. As I did, I could see her wet sticky juices hanging on her pussy lips as they parted. I buried my face and my tongue into her pussy.

“AHhhh JOHN,” Cathy moaned loudly as my tongue went to work on her pussy.

I licked at her hanging pussy lips taking them each into my mouth pulling them away from her lovely pink hole. I dipped my tongue into her pussy as I felt her thighs rest against my shoulders. I rolled my tongue as I worked it in and out of her pussy. Cathy started to pump her hips upward as my tongue went into her pussy. She was humping my face as my tongue explored her pussy. I felt my nose bumping into her clit as I buried my tongue as far as it would go into her pussy. I rubbed my nose hard against her clit as I flicked my tongue around in her pussy hole.

“JOHN you going…. Ahhhh,” Cathy moaned out.

I felt the splash on my tongue then as I pulled my tongue from her pussy her juices splashed against my face. I closed my mouth over her clit and I sucked at it as I flicked my tongue on her clit. Cathy’s body squirmed on the sofa as I worked on her clit. Cathy parted her legs even more as I felt her hands go to the back of my head. She started to rub my face into her clit as she bucked her hips up toward my face. I heard her moan as she shook below me.

I felt a small splash followed by a long wet steady stream. Cathy was flopping around on the sofa as a strong orgasm came over her. It started as just her pussy juices but then it came out as a steady stream of pee wetting my chin, neck and the sofa.

“JOHN, god you made me pee,” Cathy yelled out pulling my face from between her legs.

I kissed my way up to her face. Her hands went to the sides of my face as we kissed deeply. Cathy used her tongue tasting her wetness on my tongue and my face as we did.

Cathy broke our kiss as she said, “My turn now John,” She added as she pushed me up right on the sofa.

Cathy pushed the coffee table out of the way, as she dropped to her knees in front of me. Cathy rubbed at my cock through my pants as she stared up at me. I looked down to see those lovely jade eyes sparkling as she looked at me smiling. Cathy is at her loveliest when those eyes sparkle and that smile comes across her face. I stared at her thinking how truly beautiful she was. My cock throbbed in my pants waiting for her touch.

“John I have never seen you look at me the way you are,” Cathy said as she tilted her head.

“Is only the true me looking at the true you,” I replied as I smiled at her.

Cathy’s cheeks grew a little red as I saw her blush. It made her look even cuter and sexier to me as she rubbed at my cock. Cathy pulled at my jogging pants as I rose up letting her pull them off me. My hard cock tented my under wear as my cock danced for Cathy. She smiled as her thumbs went to the waistband and she pulled them from my body as well.

Cathy scooted up between my legs as her hands went to my cock. She used both of her hands on my cock. She used one to pump at it while the other she ran over the head of my cock. My cock throbbed as pre-cum oozed from the head of my cock.

“MMmmm tasty,” Cathy cooed out as her tongue licked at it.

Cathy sucked the head of my cock into her mouth. She used her hand on the rest of my cock as she sucked at the head. I felt her hand slip to my balls as she started to work her mouth down my cock. Cathy rolled my balls in her hands pulling at them as she did. Cathy soon had her lips pressing against my pelvic area as I felt her sucking on my cock.

“Ahhh,” I moaned out as my hands went to her head.

Cathy was soon moving her mouth up and down on my cock. I toyed with her long hair running my fingers through them. Cathy took her mouth from my cock as strings of my pre-cum and her saliva dangled from my cock to her mouth. Cathy wrapped her tongue around it as she took my cock back into her mouth.

“AHhhh Cathy,” I moaned out as she once again took all my cock into her mouth.

Cathy ran her mouth skillfully up and down my cock for a while. She removed her mouth as her hand left my balls and grabbed my cock. Cathy licked her lips as she used her hand to pump on my cock. I saw her other hand go to her pussy. She rubbed at her pussy as she stroked my cock. Cathy removed her hand from down between her legs.

She held her wet hand out to me as she said, “I need your cock in me.”

Cathy arose from between my legs letting go of my cock. She turned with her back to me. My eyes fell upon her lovely plump butt. She backed herself toward me grabbing my cock with her hand. Cathy sat down on me cowgirl style as she eased my cock up into her pussy. She left out a sigh as my cock slipped up into her wet pussy.

“God I love how your cock feels when it slips into me,” Cathy said as she looked seductively to me over her shoulder.

Cathy started to rock on my cock as my hands reached around her taking her tits into them. I groped and pulled at her nipples as she rocked back and forth on my cock. I started to push my cock upward as she rocked on it.

“Yes fuck me John give me your cock,” Cathy moaned as she rocked on it.

Cathy and I fucked like that for a while until she jumped off my cock. She pushed me down fully onto the sofa. Cathy straddled my body squatting over my cock. I felt her hand grabbing at my cock. She rubbed it at her pussy once before she eased it down onto my cock. Cathy started to ride my cock.

She rode it slowly at first then soon she was bouncing wildly on it. Her juices were flowing down my cock as she did. Her wetness filled the living room with slurps each time she slammed her pussy down onto it. Cathy stopped as she readjusted her legs as I felt her sliding them to each side of my body. She stared down smiling at me with those lovely eyes sparkling as she lowered her face toward mine.

“Kiss me John,” Cathy cooed sexily.

I wrapped my arms around her as we kissed deeply and with passion. Cathy started to go up and down on my cock as we kissed. Cathy broke our kiss as she sat up on my cock. She played with her tits as she rode me. She lowered her tits into my face shaking them as she did.

I grabbed them with my hands. I licked and sucked at them as she rode my cock. I was soon bucking my hips upward driving my cock deeper into her wet pussy as she rode on top of me. I was busy squeezing her tits together sucking and licking at both her nipples.

“I see Cathy knew what you needed daddy,” I heard Sherri say.

Cathy sat up on me as my eyes looked to Sherri. She had her arms resting on the back of the sofa staring down into my face. I started to say something as Cathy’s finger went to my lips. Cathy took her arms and she wrapped them around Sherri’s neck pulling her toward her.

Cathy pressed her lips to Sherri’s as they locked in a deep passionate kiss. I saw Sherri wrap her arms around Cathy kissing her back with the same passion. Cathy started to bounce on my cock as they kissed. I felt my cock throb then jerk.

“AHHhhh shit,” I screamed out.

My cock danced in her pussy as cum fired out deep and hard into her pussy. Cathy moaned into Sherri’s mouth as I watched them swapping tongue. Cathy rocked a few more times on my cock milking cum from it.

Cathy and Sherri licked at each other’s lips as they broke their kiss. Cathy started to get off my cock. I grabbed her by her waist pulling her back down onto my cock. Cathy looked to me as I gave her a look of panic.

“John it is OK Sherri and I have been having fun for a while now,” Cathy said smiling at me.

I looked to Sherri who smiled and said, “It’s OK daddy,” “But I will let you two get dressed because I know you don’t like me to see your cock even if I have seen it many times,” laughing as she walked toward her bedroom.

Cathy lay back down onto me as she rubbed her hand to the side of my face. She pressed her lips against mine. I soon forgot about Sherri as we shared a deep passionate kiss. Cathy broke our kiss as she got off from on top of me. She ran back to the bedroom and returned with two robes one for her and one for me.

I slipped mine on tying it in front of me as I sat up on the sofa. I sat there not knowing what to think. I had two problems running through my mind. The first was Sherri catching us and the second was just how much I had enjoyed the fun I just had with Cathy. I could not figure out why it felt so different from when I would see her as Carrie.

Cathy slipped her arm around me as she said, “Thank you John for finally making love to me and not Carrie,” as she smiled at me.

I placed my hand to the side of her face as I asked, “Why didn’t you ever say something to me?”

Cathy hung her head as she replied, “I was afraid you would not want me as myself only as Carrie.” Cathy raised her head as she threw her arms around my neck hugging me as she whispered into my ear,” John I love you and I don’t mean it in a brotherly way.”

I rubbed my hand at her back as I whispered, “I know Cathy I know.”

I hugged and held her wondering how I had gotten myself into this mess. I had feeling toward Cathy but not the true feeling of love. I should have told her the truth however; I turned into that scared little boy again afraid to say what was on my mind. Sherri came out and she sat down beside me.

Cathy broke our hug as she said, “I am going to go jump into the shower.” “You two need to talk,” she added as she walked down the hall.

I felt Sherri hand take a hold of mine. I turned and I looked at her as she looked at me. Sherri gazed into my eyes as I gazed into hers. Sherri did not smile or anything she just looked into my eyes.

“It’s OK daddy I won’t say anything to mom as long as you don’t tell her about me and Cathy,” Sherri said as she smiled.

“Princess that is not the point,” I replied. I started to say something else as she placed her finger to my lips.

“Daddy I am not your little girl no more,” Sherri said as her hand went to the side of my face.

Sherri stroked the side of my face as I stared into her eyes. I did not see Carrie as I gazed into them. I only saw that sweet little girl I used to know as she asked me, “Mister, can you fix my skate?”

“Its OK princess I understand,” I replied not understanding any of this as a feeling came over me.

We sat there and talked for a while. Well Sherri talked while I listened. At least it looked like I was listening to her. In reality, I was lost in my own little world trying to figure out how to get out of it. Coco came walking over to me and he growled at me.

“COCO, bad doggy,” Sheri said as Coco placed his paw up onto his lap.

Right after I heard his growl I also heard in the depths of my mind a voice that said, “The answer is out in your workshop Sgt. J.”

Cathy returned as I jumped from the sofa as I said, “My turn to shower.”

I went into the bedroom closing the door behind me. I sat down onto the edge of the bed I shook my head from side to side, as I realized I had not lost contact with the monster that lies buried in my soul. My memories of Vietnam were not going to beat me. Nor was the fact that I had cheated death three times now for I knew the fourth time he would have my number.

I also wondered how was I to battle the monster with in me from taking control. It was getting harder and harder to keep him at bay. I sat there as I thought just how close he had almost taken over when I jumped from the sofa at Sherri earlier in the day.

I took a long cold shower trying to erase today’s events from my mind. It did no good they all came back to me as I dressed. I looked into the mirror the person looking back was not me. I walked slowly to the door pausing to put on my false face before I walked into the living room. Cathy and Sherri sat there besides each other talking holding hands as I entered.

“I am going down to my workshop for a little bit,” I said. “You two are welcomed to join me if you like,” I added so not to raise any red flags to them.

“We know where to find you,” Cathy replied.

I walked through the kitchen turning back toward them as I neared the door. I saw Sherri just staring at me with a look in her eyes. I went on out the door and down to my workshop. I entered my workshop where I closed and locked the door behind me.

I looked at the old drawings and some new drawings of Sherri’s that hung around my shop. I sat down at my workbench placing both my hands in front of me. I looked up at the drawing of my eyes over my workbench staring back to me. I read the small metal plate on the frame which read, “Look into my eyes and hear what I am not saying, for my eyes speak louder than my voice ever will.” My vision centered onto the skulls in the center of my pupils in the drawing.

I reached into my pocket removing a key from my pocket. I held it up as I stared at it. There seemed to be a strange glow around it as I did. I moved it down to the drawer beside me pushing the key into it. I turned the key unlocking the drawer. I pulled it open looking down at the 38 snub nosed revolver that lies in the drawer. I heard a car pulling into the driveway.

I knew it was Kay coming home from work. I closed the drawer and stuck the key into the key slot. I locked it before I went out to greet Kay as she got out of her car. I opened her car door looking in at her.

Kay smiled as she said, Thanks for the flowers MISTER.”

“I owe you dinner and a movie as well,” I replied. I helped her from her car as I added, “Kay I need to tell you something.”

Kay looked to Cathy’s car as she replied, “I know John you probably had sex with Cathy,” “It’s OK at least you told me you did.” Kay smiled as she added, “Sherri stopped at the office telling me she was sending Cathy over to talk with you.”

“She did and I believed it helped,” I replied not really knowing if it had or not.

“I hope so John I do love you,” Kay said as her hand touched the side of my face.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as I walked her into the house. We entered and I saw that Cathy and Sherri were no longer sitting side by side. Kay took her flowers and she sat them down on the coffee table. She smiled to Cathy then to Sherri.

“You got flowers from daddy because he yelled at you,” Sherri said looking to her mom. She turned to me as she added, “I did not get anything.”

I went to her and I pulled my wallet out from my back pocket I handed her my credit card as I said, “Here princess go buy what ever your heart desires,” as I smiled at her.

Sherri hugged me as she whispered into my ear, “Daddy you do not have to buy my silence I would never tell on you,” before she kissed me quickly on my lips.

Sherri asked her mom and Cathy if they wanted to go shopping. The girls looked at me as I told them to go ahead I would be OK by myself. I turned to see Sherri staring into my eyes. She only looked for a second.

“I have a better idea let’s all just go out for dinner,” “I am buying,” Sherri, said as she waved my credit card around. “Well let’s say daddy is buying,” She added giving me a look then she shook her head side to side.

“Let me change my clothes,” Kay said as she headed for our bedroom with Cathy following her.

When they were out of site Sherri grabbed my upper arm as she asked, “What was you doing out in the workshop daddy?”

“Just thinking princess that was all,” I replied.

Her hand squeezed hard against my arm as she said, “I hope you thought long and hard about it daddy,” as she stared into my eyes.

“Well what did my eyes tell you this time?” I asked.

Sherri got a confused look on her face as she replied, “I am not for sure as I thought I saw those skulls again but then nothing daddy.”

I wrapped my arms around her hugging her tightly as I whispered into her ear, “Daddy is OK princess,” as I rubbed my hand on her back.

“I promise,” the monster within me added to her as I smiled to myself.

I had found out once before that Kay could not read my eyes when the monster was in charge. I had just found out it confuses Sherri as well. I grew cold as I hugged her. I realized today was the first time Sherri had gotten a little look at the monster within me. I closed my eyes as I silently told the monster within, “Don’t you ever harm that sweet little girl.”

I once again put on my false face as the four of us went to dinner. Sherri and Cathy sat in the back seat of Kay’s car as I drove. I saw them whispering to each other every now and then. I looked back again to see Sherri staring into my eyes as she gazed into the rear view mirror.

I reached up with my hand to tilt the mirror so she could not see. However when I did I did not tilt it. Instead, my hand ripped it from the windshield. I looked to the mirror in my hand seeing the monster with in looking back at me before I tossed it on the seat.

“Damn thing must not have been glued on right,” I said as I smiled to Kay.

Kay smiled back as she moved the mirror as she scooted over next to me. She laced her arm through mine as she rested her head upon my upper arm. She squeezed at my arm with her hand as she told me that she loved me.

I was confused and scared, as my mind just was not thinking clearly anymore. During dinner, the girls had to repeat themselves to me. I believe that Kay and Cathy did not notice however from the looks Sherri gave me every now and then I knew she knew something was not right with daddy.

After we all ate dinner Kay said, “It would be nice to go dancing at that new bar they just opened.”

“Yeah however Sherri can not get in,” Cathy replied.

I looked over to Sherri as I asked, “Well princess do you have your fake ID on you?”

Kay and Cathy looked at me funny like then turned to Sherri as she asked, “Yes daddy, how did you know I had one?”

“I know everything princess it is that special bond we share,” I replied as I winked at her.

In reality, I did not know she had one. However when I was her age I did so I just figured she had one as well. The four of us left the restaurant and went to the new bar not far away. We found ourselves a table not far from the dance floor. I walked up and got us all something to drink even Sherri. I returned to the table and the music started.

“Dance with me daddy,” Sherri said as she took a hold of my hand.

“Sorry princess the first dance always belongs to Kay,” I replied as I held my hand out to Kay.

It was strange as I walked Kay to the dance floor and I took her into my arms. A peaceful calm finally entered my body. I held her tightly as we danced around the room. Every now and then, she would raise her head from my chest looking up to me with those lovely blue eyes of hers. They shined and sparkled brightly as I gazed into them. She smiled as she gazed into mine before laying her head once again to my chest. I pulled her tighter against me for her eyes told me that she loved me. From the smile she had given me, I would say mine had told her the same thing.

When the song ended, we returned to Cathy and Sherri at our table. They both just stared at us as we sat down still holding hands. They just stared at us as Kay and I shared a deep passionate kiss at our table. When our kiss was over, they both smiled at us.

“You two looked so in love and the way you moved together as one on the dance floor was enchanting as well as memorable,” Sherri said with a smile.

“If two people were ever made for each other you two are they,” Cathy added smiling to Kay and me as well.

“That is because when we dance we become one,” “Our hearts beat as one as they should when you are in love,” Kay replied smiling to me.

I had to turn away for a second, as there seemed to have been something in my eye. However, it was OK for I had cried that single tear for Kay and me not myself. I was actually starting to feel a whole lot better about myself for some reason. Maybe a night on the town was just what I needed. I danced the rest of the night away with Kay, Cathy and Sherri in my arms.

When I was up dancing with Cathy she looked me in my eyes as she asked, “Just who are you tonight John?”

I smiled as I replied, “That brave man who now knows his duty lies here with three of the loveliest women in the world,” as I spun her around the dance floor.

Later into the night, I was slow dancing with Sherri who would raise her head from my chest every now and then to gaze into my eyes. I asked her what my eyes told her.

“I see a man who has made peace with his life and mind.” “But his soul stills troubles him,” Sherri said as her hand touched the side of my face. Sherri hand started to stroke my face as she added, “A soul that hides the monster within who someday we will beat together as one.”

“I hope so princess, I hope so,” I replied as I pulled her head back to my chest as my hand stroked her long blonde hair.

The four of us returned home later that night tired but happy after a long enjoyable night together. Sherri gave me a long good night kiss telling me she had the best night ever. Kay and Cathy climbed into bed beside me kissing me on both my cheeks as they told me the same thing. They rubbed their hands at my chest as they fell asleep in my arms.

I closed my eyes as my mind filled with music as I danced with each of them in my arms. I may have found a new happy place I thought as I smiled to myself as I drifted off to sleep. I had possibly the best sleep of my life that night. No night sweats, no nightmares just a nice relaxing deep sleep knowing I had once again made it through a trying time in my life. I knew there would be more to come however, this one was for now over.

I returned to work the next week. In fact, all three of us went to work. I worked on projects, Sherri drew up designs and Kay ran the company as smoothly as only she could. Kay was even showing Sherri just how to run our little company and Sherri showed great interest in that which brought a smile to my face. We were that happy little family I had always wanted and needed.

It was just after July 4 that I got around to thanking Cathy and Kay for saving my life. I told them that I was sending them both on a two-week cruise. I asked Sherri if she would like to join them.

“No daddy I would rather be with you,” Sherri replied smiling.

Sherri and I saw Kay and Cathy off on a Friday early in the morning. We went into work that day. I was sitting in my office watching Sherri work as she was filling in well for her mom. Frank came into my office and he closed the door behind himself. Frank had a troubled look on his face.

“What’s on your mind Frank,” I asked.

Frank shook his head no meaning nothing however he still had that look on his face. I asked him again telling him to tell me no matter what it was. I thought that maybe one of us had screwed something up or maybe he was having troubles.

Frank looked at me as he said, “John when I came in today I sworn that Carrie was sitting behind that desk,” “I blinked and wiped my eyes however I swear Carrie was here in our office.”

“What do you mean Frank; you saw Carrie today?” I asked not for sure if he had been seeing ghosts as well.

Frank looked at me with a strange look as he replied, “You don’t see it do you.”

“See what Frank?” I asked in a questioning tone.

Frank opened the door then walked beside my desk as he asked, “Who do you see boss?” as he pointed out into the outer office.

I looked as my mouth dropped open. I saw a lovely blonde woman busy running around the office doing this and that. The woman running around in our outer office wore a skirt that went just below her knees. I stared at the woman in the office with that lovely plump butt showing through her skirt. My eyes focused on the woman with her long blonde hair streaming to her waist as she busied herself with work with her back to me.

“CARRIE,” I yelled out.

Sherri turned toward my door as she asked, “Did you say something daddy?”

I shook my head no, as Frank closed the door. “I could not believe it myself Boss,” “It is amazing how she looks just like her especially in that office outfit,” Frank said as he leaned down on my desk.

“I had never noticed,” I replied as I turned to look at the picture of Carrie that hung in my office.

I looked at her picture and as I gazed into her eyes and that lovely smile I heard Carrie say, “I am here John,” “I told you she was a special little girl.”

“BOSS, you OK,” I barely heard Frank saying as Carrie’s voices echoed in my head.

“Just lost in my memories,” I replied.

“You and me both Boss,” said Frank as he walked out of my office.

He was going to close my door but I told him to leave it open. I could not believe that I had never seen just how much Sherri did in deed look like Carrie. The office outfit she had on was just as the one Carrie loved the most. I sat there watching her work noticing little things.

Sherri even chewed at the end of her pencil just as Carrie always did at work. Sherri even tapped her pencil on the desk when she answered the phone just as Carrie used too. I noticed her lovely long blonde hair moved the same as Carries had as she moved around the office. I sat there lost as I watched her every move.

My phone rang damn near making me piss my pants. I answered it; finding out it was a client. He wanted to know if we could do a little adding on to his current project. I told him I would check it out and get back to him.

“Sherri could you get Mr.____ files from the bottom file drawer?” I asked.

I watched as she walked over shaking that plump little ass of hers just the way Carrie had always done. Sherri bent over opening the file drawer. Sherri looked back to me over her shoulder and smiled. My god I thought that was Carrie bending down in front of me. Sherri walked into my office as I stared at her.

She handed me the file as she said, “Here you go daddy,” as she bent down in front of me.

My eyes went right to her cleavage that swelled over the top of her shirt. Those same fleshy mounds of boobs like Carrie had always shown when she bent over like that. I took the files and removed my eyes from her tits as I told her thanks. Sherri started to walk from my office when suddenly my nostril filled with the scent of Carrie.

“Sherri, are you wearing “White Diamond?” I asked.

“Yes daddy there was a bottle in that desk drawer,” She replied pointing to Carrie’s desk where she had been working at. “Daddy is something wrong?” Sherri asked tilting her head.

“Nothing princess,” I replied opening the file, she just gave to me.

Sherri went back to work and so did I. I checked the files and called the client back telling him we could do as he had asked. Sherri ran outside to find Frank as he had a phone call. I jumped up and ran to the desk she had been working at. I opened the drawer to find a bottle of “White Diamond” in the drawer. The bottle looked old and dusty I wondered if it had been in that drawer all these years. I returned it thinking probably Kay had placed it in there. My mind was back to playing games and tricks on me I thought as I returned to work.

Sherri and I finished work an little after six that night. I told her I owed her dinner for all the hard work she had done today. I took her to a restaurant that Carrie and I used to go to a lot after work. I was hoping it was still there.

Sherri and I sat there talking through dinner as well as after dinner. We talked mostly about her going to art school after she finished school next year. I realized as we talked that she was a little unsure about going.

“Daddy if I do go when I am finished can I come back and work for you?” Sherri asked.

“Now why would you want to do something foolish like that?” I asked in return.

Sherri smiled as she replied, “Because when I was working with you today it felt as if I belonged there.” “Please daddy,” She added.

“Anything for you princess,” I replied taking her hand into mine.

As we drove home from dinner I asked, “What are your plans for the weekend?”

“I am spending the whole weekend with my daddy,” Sherri replied as she scooted over lacing her arm through mine as she rested her head against my arm.

“Some fishing tomorrow sounds go to start with,” I replied.

The next day we both were up early. We got our gear and jumped into our boat. We were motoring across the lake as the morning sun came up over the trees surrounding the lake.

Sherri looked over at me and said, “If it was not for those trees we could have went to “Orange Island” today,” as she pointed to the orange sun above the tree line smiling.

“I am not even going to ask princess,” I replied as I smiled to her, as there was no way she should know about “Orange Island,” I had not told her that part of my story yet.

We fished until early evening; the fishing gods were on my side that day. I caught more and I even caught the biggest walleye of my life an 11 lbs one, which Sherri insisted that we return to the lake. My sweet little girl had grown up to be quite the sportsman as well as learning to respect the values of not harvesting a fish like that. I was proud of her that day as we got off the lake.

I cooked us some steaks on the grill. We ate outside on the picnic table. After dinner, Sherri grabbed my hand and she walked me to the old bench swing. She sat me down in it then she sat down cuddling up to me.

Sherri smiled at me as she asked, “Daddy would you finish your story?”

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder pulling her against me. I finished my story to her telling her how Carrie and I fell madly in love and how as a wedding present my uncle gave us his cottage on the lake. I told her about the swinging lifestyle Carrie and I shared as well as telling her about “Carrie‘s Place.” How we opened our home as well as our hearts sharing our love and our happiness with them.

“Carrie used to tell our story of how we became man and wife to our guests the night they arrived,” I said to Sherri as her lovely blue eyes sparkled as Carrie’s did when she told that story.

I also told her of seeing those red eyes for months before losing Carrie and Melissa. I explained how they turned out to be the railroad crossing lights were fate took them from me. I explained how I sold the house on the lake, as I could not bare to live there without her.

I went on to tell her about how I was going to fish my way out to California to see the sunset as Carrie and I had planned to do. I explained how I got lost along the way turning to drugs to make my nightmares go away.

“I even ran into Carrie’s ghost on my way and again as I sat alone in a hotel room sucking on the barrel of my 45 tired of living without her,” I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

Sherri wiped my tears with her hand as she replied, “its OK daddy you cry those tears for Carrie not yourself.” Sherri peered into my eyes as she added, “You two had to have a special bond together daddy for all that to happen,” “That and the great love you had for each other,” Sherri added drying her own eyes.

“Yes princess that could be what it was,” I replied. “Princess, are you ready to share your side of my story? I asked.

“Not yet daddy but someday when I need you,” “I promise I will,” Sherri replied smiling.

“I will be there when you need me,” I said to her as I hugged her.

I was really starting to feel great. I had fully recovered. I did notice that I did not have as many events or visions since having that bout with malaria. I was thankful it seemed like maybe that damn war was finally behind me. I hoped I had finally made peace with it as well as myself.

I also started to understand how Sherri knew those little bits of my story. It was by accident that I did. We had just gotten home from work I told her I was going to jump in the shower as she walked into her drawing room. She was still in there after I showered and dressed.

I walked to the door looking in as I saw Sherri sitting at her drawing table with Coco lying at her feet. She did not see me enter nor did she hear me as I approached her drawing table. I saw she was looking at some old photo albums.

“Daddy I did not hear you come in,” Sherri said. She looked down to Coco as she added,” Some watch dog you are.”

“What do you have there princess?” I asked.

“Nothing,” She replied as she covered the book with her arm.

She finally moved her arm letting me see the photos she was looking at. They showed Carrie in her sexy two-piece swimsuit. Sherri smiled as she looked at Carrie’s photo then she smiled to me. I knew what was on her mind. It was not because of how sexy Carrie looked in her swimsuit. It was because of just how much she did look like Sherri.

“Daddy you never told me I looked like Carrie,” Sherri said looking up to me smiling from ear to ear.

“I never noticed princess,” I replied with a smile.

“Daddy you never could lie to me,” Sherri said with a smile. Sherri then asked, “Daddy, Carrie was very beautiful why you didn’t fall in love with her right away?”

“Princess there is more to loving someone than them looking hot,” I replied.

“I know daddy but it helps if you don’t wake up in the morning having to serve your lover Alpo,” Sherri replied with a little laugh.

“SHERRI,” I said laughingly.

“Call me princess daddy and never stop calling me that,” Sherri replied smiling at me.

For the most part, I had finally become comfortable with Sherri becoming an adult. The time we spent together when her mom was gone had seen to that. I finally realized she was no longer that sweet little girl of ten. I also realized something out about her. One night after work we sat of the sofa talking the subject of our worst fears came up as we talked.

“Daddy what is your worst fear?” Sherri asked.

I thought for a second before I replied, “Being without you and your mom,” smiling. I then asked, “What are yours?”

Sherri did not hesitant at all before she said, “Ending up with a man like mom’s other husbands,” as she hung her head down.

I realized Sherri and I had never really talked about just what were her true feelings about growing up as she had. I asked her about it. Sherri’s answer shocked me.

“Daddy, I used to hate mommy,” Sherri said. “She seemed to not care about what was happening to her or to me when I was a child.” “The only time I was truly happy was when we lived with Cathy.” Sherri smiled as she added, “That was until you came along.”

“Princess your mom loved you back then as she does now,” “I had problems with her putting you through what she did until I realized she did them to protect you,” “She placed herself in harms way to protect you,” I replied.

“No daddy she did nothing for me,” “I don’t even think she loved me back then or she would have left those bad men sooner,” Sherri said with anger.

“Princess your mom loves you,” “Your mom just got caught up in something she had no control of,” I replied.

“She had two legs daddy she could have walked away instead she stayed with those bad men,” Sherri said. “I would have run away if you had not come along into our lives,” Sherri added.

“Sherri, do you still feel that way toward your mom?” I asked.

“No daddy,” Sherri replied turning from me.

I turned her face back toward me as she said, “Sometimes but I hold my tongue because I know you love her so much.” “Daddy you more or less raised me while mom did nothing,” “You raised me to respect others even if you may not like them or agree with them,” “Plus I did not want to break your heart by telling her or you my true feelings,” Sherri added.

I realized then I was wrong to have spent so much time with her while Kay ran my company. I was to busy enjoying my time with Sherri to realize I had taken away the bond a mother and daughter should share. She should be having this talk with her mom instead of me.

“Sherri your mom loves you,” I said.

“I know she does daddy and I have forgiven her over and over however,” Sherri said then she paused.

“What do you mean, Sherri?” I asked.

“What if you had never came into my life?” “Where would I be today daddy?” Sherri asked looking to me to give her the answer she was seeking. “I will tell you daddy,” “I would either be dead or making my living lying on my back,” Sherri yelled as she jumped and ran from the sofa.

“Princess, stop,” I yelled out.

However, I heard her door slam as she entered her bedroom. I sat there thinking that her past was coming back to haunt her just as mine had. I got up from the sofa and went to her door.

I knocked as I asked, “Princess can I come in?”

“Yes, daddy,” I heard Sherri sob out.

I walked in to find her with her face buried in her pillow crying. I went over and I rubbed my hand on her back. I told her everything would be OK.

Sherri rolled over and she sat up in her bed with tears rolling down her face.
“Can you make the nightmares go away?” Sherri asked before she threw her arms around me.

“I will try princess,” I replied holding her tight. “You will have to share them with me first,” I added thinking back how I had to share mine with Carrie.

I took a hold of her hand and I walked her back to the sofa. We sat there as Sherri explained that they had started last year. They started as simple stupid ones she explained. I was behind a locked door and I could not get it opened. Sherri went to say that then when she did get the door-opened Coco was lying dead on the other side.

Sherri went on to tell me that her nightmares started to involve men in them. She explained they would torture her. I took her into my arms telling her that it was going to be OK. Sherri also told me that she was beginning to believe that she was going to end up in the hands of a bad man.

I held her hand as I tried to explain that I believed her nightmares might be from knowing what was to happen in the coming year. You will be on your own going to college. Your mind is letting you only see and think of the bad times in your life. As I sat there, I realized something about Sherri she had the same fear I had. I was afraid to see her leave home and she was afraid to leave home.

“Sherri, are you scared of leaving home?” I asked her.

Sherri looked up at me as she replied, “Not leaving home daddy just leaving you,” before she buried her face into my chest crying.

“Princess I will always be with you and I promise if you need me I will come running to you,” I said as I stroked her long blonde hair with my hand.

“Thank you daddy and I hope I find a man like you someday,” Sherri replied pulling her self tighter against my chest.

I pulled her from my chest and looked into her eyes as I asked, “You trust me don’t you?”

“A course daddy,” Sherri replied.

“Then someday you will find a man of your own to trust,” I replied. “Todd seems like a nice fellow,” I added.

Sherri’s eyes filled with tears as she said, “We broke up daddy.”

I wrapped my arms around her holding her as I replied, “Your heart may be broken many more times before you find the one who will always live in your heart no matter what.” “Just remember to always follow your heart princess,” I added.

“If I still have a heart to follow,” Sherri said.

“Princess, no one ever means to break your heart.” “It happens because the two people involved do not share the same heart.” “When two hearts beats as one you will know it is right,” I replied smiling as I lightly kissed her forehead.

I felt her hand go to my heart pausing for a few seconds before she said, “Our hearts beat as one daddy,” as she laid her head to my chest.

“Only because of our special bond we share,” I replied stroking her hair as I held her.

Sherri lifted her head from my chest as she looked to Carrie’s picture on the mantel of the fireplace. I knew that she understood what I meant about the bond we shared. I was more concerned with the fact she used to hate her mom and wondered if she still did sometimes. I never would have thought it as all through the years we were together she had hidden it well.

I sat there holding her as that feeling came over my body. That sixth sense that told me something was not right in the neighborhood. When I got that feeling, it never scared me however this time it did. I placed my chin on top of her head as I looked to the heavens.

“Angel Carrie, help guide us both with what lies ahead,” I silently said.

The next weekend we worked late Friday and we grabbed a bite to eat before returning home. I was truly enjoying my time with Sherri. I believe that I was learning more about her than ever before. I was also not seeing her as that ten-year-old little girl anymore. I saw her as a mature adult woman. I sat down in the living room with Sherri standing there

Sherri said, “I wonder what mom and Aunt Cathy, are doing right now,” giving me a sexy little smile. “I am going to go jump in the shower,” Sherri added as she walked away.

I did not answer however, I did think of a few things they could be doing as a smile came to my face. Sherri started to call Cathy Aunt Cathy shortly after my hospital stay. I never got the whole story or truth about it from either of them. They also never told me how the two of them having fun had came about. However, I did know that they each knew something about the other but they would not tell me what it was. I chalked it up to “Women.”

I was sitting there flipping through the T.V. channels when Sherri came walking back out into the living room. I turned and saw that she had only a towel wrapped around herself. My eyes went to those tanned lovely legs and those tender plump thighs that showed below her towel. My eyes moved up her towel, which was just barely covering her lovely big tits in fact, I could see one of her huge hard nipple had slipped above her towel as she sat down next to me. I turned my attention back to the TV.

I still had not grown very comfortable with her running around half dressed. However, I allowed her to do so mostly because her mom told me that it was just harmless fun on her part. It may have been harmless fun to her but to me it seemed as if she was flirting with me.

Sherri wrapped her arm around my shoulder as she asked, “What are you watching?”

“Just flipping through the channels,” I replied not looking to her.

I felt her finger playing with my ear as she asked, “Do I make you uncomfortable when I flirt with you daddy?”

I wanted her to think I was liberal enough so I replied, “Sometimes Princess.”

“Then why don’t you look at me?” Sherri asked.

“Just because princess,” I replied turning toward her trying not to stare at the nipple showing above her towel.

“Is it because I look like Carrie did when she was my age?” Sherri asked.

I sat there for a few seconds before I replied, “No Sherri you do remind me of Carrie at your age.” “However to me you are still that sweet little girl who skate I fixed,” “But believe me I can see that you no longer are, what with those,” I added as I went to point to her tits however my finger brushed against her exposed nipple.

“DADDY,” Sherri yelled as she smiled at me.

Sherri threw her arms around my neck as her towel dropped exposing her luscious big breasts. Her lips went to mine as she kissed me deeply and with passion. Her lips were smooth and silky just like Carrie’s lips at that age. I breathed in through my nose only to inhale the scent of “White Diamonds.” I felt her tongue slipping across my lips. I felt her hand brushing up against my cock through my pants. My god my daughter was seducing me. To make matters worst she was Carrie to me as she did.

This will end this chapter. Why had fate tempted me with my daughter? How was I going to handle this? Why had I not seen this coming? Were Kay and Cathy behind my daughter seducing me? What would happen if the monster that dwelt in my soul became angry over it?

As always, let me know if you are enjoying my story. The answers to those question and Terri returns in my next chapter for those who have been asking about her. I leave you with this to think about. It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe that lures him to evil ways.

To my fellow veterans and all I share this poem in honor of Memorial Day.

Freedom Is Not Free
By Kelly Strong

I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
and then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of TAPS one night,
When everything was still
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.

I wondered just how many times
That TAPS had meant "Amen,"
When a flag had draped a coffin
Of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn't free.

God bless all who gave their lives so we may be free.
Sgt. J


2015-10-04 20:46:17
Sir, This is an amazing story of your life and love just wanted to say thank you for your service to this country and I would like to say from myself and my family God bless!!!!!!!!!! by the way I have been reading this non stop accept for a few hours of sleep this should be published it would be number one on the best sellers list and would make an even better movie!!!! thanks again

Anonymous readerReport

2014-08-31 22:01:04
Wow, that's a really clever way of thikinng about it!

Anonymous readerReport

2014-08-31 05:37:04
You put the lime in the coonuct and drink the article up.

anonymous readerReport

2013-11-23 11:14:51
Thanks for another great chapter John. After reading this series I realize all of us have a monster who lurks inside. Mine sleeps most of the time, but sometimes he comes out in a black rage, just like turning on a light switch. In my 30 years as a police officer he has saved my life more than once. On the flip side he has made my personal life miserable more that a few times. He is very difficult to control, but Im working on it;

anonymous readerReport

2013-03-05 00:07:09
As always, a great story. I am going to have to give it up tonight and go on to bed, I have to do stuff tomorrow even though I am retired. I am looking forward to the next chapter and I predicted to myself way back that he and Sherri would make love. After all, they are not actually related even though he did adopt her. Great store, again.

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