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Hello people. This is my first story of it’s kind so please be helpful and help me and the story get better by leaving constructive feedback in the comments down below. Also, this story is fictional, so please don’t go saying that this is impossible, because I know it is :)
Also, I do know some things about Latin (which is where the spells are coming from), but it has been about 1 ½ year since my last class, so I use google translate to get the spells.
And lastly, I’m sorry that there isn’t any sex in this chapter, but I am building up to it and getting some base lore kind of stuff ready :)
This is really the last: The chapters of this story will be short, but I do that so that I can release multiple chapters a week, which is what I am planning on doing. I plan on making this story very long and any input is more than welcome and will be taken into consideration.
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Chapter 1 - The first lesson

Hello, my name is Thomas and until a little while ago I thought cheating was a thing you only did in video games, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. It all started two weeks ago at the start of the summer holidays when my friend Ashley called me to ask if I wanted to come over. Since it was already about 4PM I was a little hesitant (normally if she wanted to do something it would take the whole day), but since we were good friends I accepted her offer anyway and grabbed my bike (in the Netherlands you’re not allowed to drive a car until you’re 18 years old) and went on my way to her house. We lived in the same city, but it was still a good 15 minutes ride to her house.
When I arrived there, I saw a car I didn’t recognise in front of her house. It was a green porsche, but not one of the cheap ones you see almost anywhere, but one of the expensive and very fast ones. I put away my bike against the fence in front of the house, locked it and went up to the front door of her house. I rang the doorbell and waited for about ten seconds which is when Ashley opened the door and asked me to come in.
Once we were in the house she immediately brought me up to her room, where there was another girl sitting on a chair looking into a very big book. It looked as if the book was almost impossible to carry around so heavy it looked. Once Ashley closed the door behind us, The other girl looked up and said “Dormio Thomas”, at which moment my eyes became heavy and I, quite literally, fell asleep to the floor.
Once I woke up again, I felt I wasn’t in Ashley’s bedroom anymore, because whereas her bedroom felt quite warm and cosy, the place where I was right then and there felt cold and not cosy at all. Once I opened my eyes I saw I was in some sort of dungeon made of huge stones and I was tied up with some very thick ropes around my ankles and wrists so I couldn’t move. There was a thick, sturdy looking iron door with a window with a diameter of about 25 centimeters barred with thick, round iron bars. There was nothing else in the cell as far as I was aware at that moment.
Once i had a look at my clothes, I saw that my normal clothes were gone and replaced by some strange black robes. I was also wearing a strange red amulet that I didn’t recognise. The amulet was emitting a strange, very low kind of light. The amulet was over my robes, but I felt like no one has to know about the amulet I put it away under the robes. Once I put it there, the spot where it touched my skin started to tingle and it felt as if there was pure energy flowing from the amulet into my chest.
About a minute or two after I put the amulet away the girl who had the book in Ashley’s bedroom entered the dungeon wielding the book. She too was wearing the same kind of black robes as I was. She entered the room and said “Creare duo cathedras” and two chairs popped out of thin air into existence and she sat down on one and said “Sit down, Thomas”.
As I sat down she continued talking “As you will probably have guessed by now, did we bring you here by ways most humans would call unnatural. But, no matter how you would like to call it, in a short while, that is if you agree to work with us just like your friend did, we can teach you how to do it yourself. How to call upon the old language and bend the laws of nature themself to your will.”
My will had always been very strong so I was able to keep a straight face the whole time and willed myself to say “But why would you choose me and not someone else?”. “Because your will is very strong, just like your friends, which is one of the most important perks of what normal humans call mages. Most of us don’t like to be called mages though. We prefer to be called the chosen ones.”.
“What are the downsides of becoming a chosen one?” I asked. “There is no becoming a chosen one, you are born with the gift or you aren’t. And you are born with it. So really you have dealt with being a chosen one all your life. Remember the nightmares you have all the time?”. When I thought about it, I did have a lot of nightmares. Most nights I had at least one, so I answered truthfully “Yes, I do.”. “That is one of the downsides of being a chosen one but not having control over your powers. Because see, what you see as nightmares, really are adventures in nightmare worlds. The only problem with those adventures is that if you don’t have enough control, you won’t be able to resist being sucked into them.” “So by being taught by you I can suppress the nightmares?” “In a nutshell, yes. But there are way more advantages to having more control.”
“Before you continue explaining, I would like to ask you a question.” “Go ahead.” “Where are we?” “That is a very good question indeed. And I think I will even make this your first lesson. One of the first spells I will teach you is the Ubi sum ego spell. It will let you locate where you are.” “How do I perform that spell?” “Really the only thing you have to do is to say the words and concentrate very deeply on the spell and then you will know where you are.”
“So if I say Ubi sum ego I will know where I am, but that is way too easy.” I thought. But it turned out it was even more easy, because as I thought the words, I know I was in France in the year 1110, so I said “France year 1110”. As I said that, the girl’s jaw dropped for a slight moment and her eyes grew a bit larger, but within half a second she regained her normal expression and said “They were right, you indeed do have a very strong will. Your next lesson will be tomorrow.” With those words she stood up and walked to the door.
But before she reached it, I asked her one last question “What is your name?” “Call me Clay”.
6 comments

anonymous readerReport 

2012-07-07 18:01:59
you werent kidding when you said short. One of the basics in dialogue is to start a new paragraph when the speaker changes. This eliminates relying on literary intuition or repetative he said she said. not bad for a start. Look forward to seeing more. You obviously have a story to tell in your head and you want to get it out. i would recommend writing it out first and then release chapters only as you find them... complete. Also please forgive my lack of punctuation. I am using my kindle.

anonymous readerReport 

2012-07-07 16:24:05
you werent kidding when you said short. One of the basics in dialogue is to start a new paragraph when the speaker changes. This eliminates relying on literary intuition or repetative he said she said. not bad for a start. Look forward to seeing more. You obviously have a story to tell in your head and you want to get it out. i would recommend writing it out first and then release chapters only as you find them... complete. Also please forgive my lack of punctuation. I am using my kindle.

PottersenReport 

2012-07-07 16:17:52
That last comment was mine btw :)

anonymous readerReport 

2012-07-07 16:16:31
Hey Kitsune_Lord, thank you for your response. That is a very good point. Though there are ways how he could have put it away (hands tied in front of hi body), I completely forgot he was tied up xD. I do also agree that I am rushing this part a bit, but that is partially to get to what most people are here for... But thank you for your reply :) I will try to go more slowly from here and remember to reread my chapters before posting them :)

anonymous readerReport 

2012-07-07 16:15:28
Hey Kitsune_Lord, thank you for your response. That is a very good point. Though there are ways how he could have put it away (hands tied in front of hi body), I completely forgot he was tied up xD. I do also agree that I am rushing this part a bit, but that is partially to get to what most people are here for... But thank you for your reply :) I will try to go more slowly from here and remember to reread my chapters before posting them :)

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