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Please excuse me for all the mistakes I made when I first posted chapter1. I do have a direction I want this story to go in and am really focused on the future of this story instead of where it is at now, which is why I for example forgot about Thomas being tied. I hope I have fixed everything in the revised post :)
Hello people. This is my first story of its kind so please be helpful and help me and the story get better by leaving constructive feedback in the comments down below. Also, this story is fictional, so please don’t go saying that this is impossible, because I know it is :)
The main storyline is set in the Netherlands, because that’s the country I know the most about.
Also, I do know some things about Latin (which is where the spells are coming from), but it has been about 1 ½ year since my last class, so I use google translate to get the spells.
And lastly, I’m sorry that there isn’t any sex in this chapter, but I am building up to it and getting some base lore kind of stuff ready :)
This is really the last: The chapters of this story will be short, but I do that so that I can release multiple chapters a week, which is what I am planning on doing. I plan on making this story very long and any input is more than welcome and will be taken into consideration.
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Chapter 1 - The first lesson

Hello, my name is Thomas and until a little while ago I thought cheating was a thing you could only do in video games, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. It all started two weeks ago at the start of the summer holidays when my friend Ashley called me to ask if I wanted to come over. Since it was already about 4PM I was a little hesitant (normally if she wanted to do something it would take the whole day and she’s ask early), but since we were good friends I accepted her offer anyway and grabbed my bike (in the Netherlands you’re not allowed to drive a car until you’re 18 years old) and went on my way to her house. We lived in the same city, but it was still a good 15 minutes ride to her house.
This is as good a time as any to describe myself as I was back then. I was a 16 year old boy and about 6 foot 2 inches tall. I didn’t look all that good and didn’t have girls chasing me, though I did sport a nice seven inches, which is pretty good*. I had very dark, brown hair which was cut relatively short. I was also not very muscular.
When I arrived there, I saw a car I didn’t recognise in front of her house. It was a green porsche, but not one of the cheap ones you see almost everywhere, but one of the expensive, very fast and rare ones.
I put away my bike against the fence in front of the house, locked it and went up to the front door of her house. I rang the doorbell and waited for about ten seconds for Ashley to open the door and lead me into the house. She lived in a decently sized house (it had 8 bedrooms. I don’t know if that is big or small for other countries, but in the Netherlands that is pretty big) with a nice pool in the back.
Ashley was a very nice person, both nice to look at and nice to be with. She was about the same age as me (our birthdays were only about 3 weeks apart) but a little younger. She didn’t have very big boobs (only about B cup) and very nice lucid (almost luminous) black hair. She also had a very nice hourglass figure.
Once we were inside her house she immediately brought me up to her room, where there was another girl sitting on a chair looking into a very big, heavy and old looking book. Once Ashley closed the door behind us, the other girl looked up and said “Dormio Thomas”, at which moment my eyes became heavy and I, quite literally, fell asleep to the floor.

Once I woke up again, I felt I wasn’t in Ashley’s bedroom anymore, because whereas her bedroom felt quite warm and cosy, the place where I was right then felt cold, humid and not cozy at all. I opened my eyes and saw I indeed was not in Ashley’s room anymore, but I was laying in some sort of dungeon made entirely out of huge stone blocks and I was tied up with some very thick ropes around my ankles and wrists so I almost couldn’t move. My wrists were strangely tied in front of me.
There was a thick, sturdy looking iron door with a window with a diameter of about 25 centimeters in the middle of the top half of the door barred with thick, round iron bars. There was nothing else in the cell as far as I could see at that moment.
Once i had a look at my clothes, I saw that my normal clothes were gone and replaced by some strange black robes. I was also wearing a strange red amulet that I didn’t recognise. The amulet was emitting a strange, very soft kind of light. The amulet was over my robes, but I felt like no one had to know about the amulet so I tried putting it away under the robes and barely succeeded. Once I put it there, the spot where it touched my skin started to tingle and it felt as if there was pure energy flowing from the amulet into my chest.
About a minute or two after I put the amulet away the girl with the book entered the dungeon still carrying the book. She too was wearing the same kind of black robes as I was. She entered the room and said “ Funibus Potest abiit”. The moment the pronounced the last part of abiit the ropes around my hands faded into nothingness. Once they were completely gone (It took about three seconds for them to fade away) she continued by saying “Creare duo cathedras” and two chairs popped out of thin air into existence and she sat down on one and said “Sit down, Thomas”.
As I sat down she continued talking “As you will probably have guessed by now, did we bring you here by ways most humans would call unnatural. But, no matter how you would like to call it, in a short while, that is if you agree to work with us just like your friend did, we can teach you how to do it yourself. How to call upon the old language and bend the laws of nature themself to your will.”
My will had always been very strong so I was able to keep a straight face the whole time and willed myself to say “But why would you choose me and not someone else?”.
“Because your will is very strong, just like your friends, which is one of the most important perks of what normal humans call mages. Most of us don’t like to be called mages though. We prefer to be called the chosen ones.”.
“What are the downsides of becoming a chosen one?” I asked.
“There is no becoming a chosen one, you are born with the gift or you aren’t. And you are born with it. So really you have dealt with being a chosen one all your life. Remember the nightmares you have all the time?”.
When I thought about it, I did have a lot of nightmares. Most nights I had at least one, so I answered truthfully “Yes, I do.”.
“That is one of the downsides of being a chosen one but not having control over your powers. Because see, what you see as nightmares, really are adventures in nightmare worlds. The only problem with those adventures is that if you don’t have enough control, you won’t be able to resist being sucked into them, not controlling the path the nightmare takes..”
“So by being taught by you I can suppress the nightmares?”
“In a nutshell, yes. But there are way more advantages to having more control.”
“Before you continue explaining, I would like to ask you a question.”
“Go ahead.”
“Where are we?”
“That is a very good question indeed. And I think I will even make this your first lesson. One of the first spells I will teach you is the Ubi sum ego spell. It will let you locate where you are.”
“How do I perform that spell?”
“Really the only thing you have to do is to say the words and concentrate very deeply on the spell and what you wish to accomplish with it and then you will know where you are.”
“So if I say Ubi sum ego I will know where I am, but that is way too easy.” I thought. But it turned out it was even more easy, because as I thought the words, I knew I was in France in the year 1110, so I said “France, year 1110”.
As I said that, the girl’s jaw dropped for a slight moment and her eyes grew a bit larger, but within half a second she regained her normal expression and said “They were right, you indeed do have a very strong will. Your next lesson will be tomorrow.” With those words she stood up and walked to the door.
But before she reached it, I asked her one last question “What is your name?” “Call me Clay”.

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Thank you for reading my story. I would really appreciate it if you left a comment saying if you liked the story, what you liked/disliked about it and any constructive feedback.
I also have a few question to you:
-Would you call a 16 year old male a boy, teenager or man?
-How would you like to see the conversations in the story formatted? Each person’s line on another line/paragraph (which is what I have done in this chapter) or the whole conversation in one paragraph?
Post Story Notes:
* According to wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis_size#Length the average penis size is about 3.5” to 4” so 7” is big
I am already working on chapter 2 (and possibly chapter3 or later) and am planning on releasing it as soon as this one hits 1000 views, which I am planning on keeping as a standard rule (unless it takes to long ;)).
8 comments

anonymous readerReport

2012-07-24 09:55:00
Justin Bieber's penis is the size of the dislike bar. In Soviet Russia, the gnurod falls on you.Chuck Norris is somehow related to this incident.Rebecca Black sucks.Thumbs up if *insert obvious bullshit here*.My parents thought I was watching porn. 310 views and thousands of likes!?press 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 or 9 and thumbs up.I hate ads and I'm thankful that porn doesn't have them.I pee in the side of the bowl to make less noise!There. Now you only have to read one comment

anonymous readerReport

2012-07-22 19:37:43
WTF u write smaller chapters so u can post more a week bull shit u havent writen since part 1 get it together and write something

anonymous readerReport

2012-07-18 15:40:39
The story has potential, I'd like to read part 2

anonymous readerReport

2012-07-10 22:40:02
Btw im alzo77 (just wrote the post) the post before this one

anonymous readerReport

2012-07-10 18:09:31
Oh, and also, put more space between your paragraphs. Usually a line between is good enough. This holds true for dialogue as well. Like I said, walls of text are never fun to read.

Once again, it just makes the story easier to read. The easier the story is to read, the less likely your readers will be to simply drop the story and look for something easier on the eyes.

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