I think there is something wrong with me. I’m so hungry, and thirsty and cold. Why do I feel like this? Do I need help? My friends used to tell me all about how these men that they date take them to nice restaurants and buy them flowers, and even say “I love you”. I want that so bad, but I want Sir too. I don’t know anymore, I’m just so flustered because he’s looking at me again. It’s scary how quiet this room gets, there’s no movement, no sound, not even the rumble of his heart. He told me once that he didn’t have a heart, but everyone does, that’s how we live. I think that was a long time ago, I don’t really remember how long I’ve been here. The only way I know if it’s a different day is when Sir brings me something to eat. There aren’t any windows, only a door that has to be opened with a key, a door that keeps me prisoner in this lonely, little, quiet room.
“Come” He snaps his fingers at me. I crawl on my hands and knees over to him, he only likes it this way. I’m not allowed to walk like a person when I am in this room, he said. I am his pet, his bitch, he said. “It’s been a few days pet, how do you feel?”
Uh oh, it always makes me scared when he asks me questions, sometimes I get in trouble if I answer them wrong, so I try to make sure Sir doesn’t have to ask me any questions. Oh shit, I better hurry up and answer him; he’s starting to look annoyed. “Uh…I..I’m hungry Sir.” I keep my head down; you’re not ever supposed to look at Sir unless he tells you that you can. I remember the first time I did that, boy, I’ll never do that again.
“Awe, you’re hungry?” I shake my head.
I sneak a look at him, he’s so tall. He must be a construction worker because he always looks healthy and has little tans all over different parts of his body. Sir stands up from the chair and starts to undo his pants. I know exactly what I’m going to have to do now. But it’s okay, I liked this better than being in trouble, it makes me feel happy inside when Sir is happy.
“If you do well, you can have something to eat. Get to it.”
He sits back down in the chair; his pants are now at his ankles. I scoot closer so now I am only a few inches from his private spot. I move my hand to grab him but he stops me,
“Uh uh, no hands today, pet. Just your mouth.”
So I move my hand away and lift up on my knees until I kiss the head. I hear him take a deep breath, so that means I’m off to a good start, maybe I will get something really good to eat today. I pull him deeper into my mouth and suck really hard; he lets out a hissing sound and tells me to ease up a little. So I suck him gently, up and down, up and down, using my tongue to swirl around the top the way he likes it. Sir’s breath is starting to get fast, so that’s what I do too. I suck harder and faster and move my head a little bit, and then before you know it, he grabs my head and pushes me down all of the way so that my nose is pressed into his curly brown pubic hair. Then I feel the warm stuff, and like a good girl, I swallow.
I pull off of him, making sure I didn’t lose a drop so that he will be proud of me. Leaning back on my knees again I go back into the position I am supposed to be in. “How was that, pet?” Sir asks me.
“Very good Sir, thank you.” I smile at the ground.
“You’re Welcome,” he takes my head in his hands and makes me look at him. Even though he is beautiful, sometimes I don’t like to look at him. It’s hard to enjoy it when I get in trouble for it all of the time, so I guess it’s just that it keeps me on my toes. I look at his eyes, oh no. He looks so scary right now, but I can’t look away, then I will get into a lot more trouble for disrespecting him. “Do you want to play a game?” Sir is still naked and I am starting to see his private area get hard again. I wish I could say no, I’m so hungry. But if I say no, then I will make him angry, then I’ll never eat.
“Good, stand up.” When I stand, he takes me over to the black table. I hope this game gets over with soon. When we get to the table, he pushes my top half down so that I am half lying on the table. Like always, I push my arms above my head so he can tie the into the robe holes. When that’s finished, he leaves the quiet room for a few minutes. I don’t know where he went, but he didn’t shut the door behind him, and I think I see a little bit of light. Maybe if I’m good at this game, I’ll get to go see what the light is.
Sir comes back in and moves a little cart around so that it’s by my right hip. He picks up something that sounds like metal, my head is more comfortable to the left, so I don’t dare to look and see what it is. All of a sudden, there is something really cold and hard on my back. I’m starting to get really scared again. Sir must hear my breathing because he smacks my butt really hard. I bite my lip to blunt the pain, it’s not as bad as they get when I’m in trouble.
Sir turns a dial, and I hear a little buzzing noise, maybe it’s one of those vibrating things he put on me one time. There’s a horrible sharp sting feeling on my lower back. “Ah!” I yelled, but Sir just laughed at me. The second time is on my rib cage, it makes me jump, and I end up flinching so high that I hit the stinger again and sting myself on the same place. Tears are running over my face now, my back is starting to sting really back, like ten bees are stinging me in one spot. He does it again on my shoulder blade, and I scream. I can’t take it, it’s so painful. “Sir, please! No more, please Sir.” I sob into my arm that is tied above my head.
I feel it again, but right under my butt next to my private area, he holds it there for so long and the pain is just searing right through me. My back hurts, and Sir doesn’t care how much he’s hurting me. I cry and beg, but the more I do it, the longer he keeps the stinger in one spot. Finally he stops and I hear him turn it off, thank God. He reaches up and unties my arms, and I fall to the floor. Sir grabs my arms, pulls me up and makes me stand straight. When I’m finally good on my feet, I feel him hit me, right under my left eye, I fall to the floor.
Another beating, why does this always happen? The next blow goes to my ribs, but it’s his foot that does the rest of the punishment. “Thank me,” I can’t catch my breath, so I concentrate on trying to breath, “THANK ME!”
Sir shouts as me and then kicks me in my stomach again, so I suck it up and get on my knees in front of him. I can feel the ache still in my back, but I ignore it.
“Thank you, Sir.” I choke out.
“Why are you thanking me?”
“Because I was disobedient. I’m sorry Sir. I’ll do anything to make you happy.”
He starts for the door, “Too late.” He grabs the cart and drags it with him out of the door. All too soon, the door is slammed and locked again. There probably won’t be a meal again tonight, but I know what will come tomorrow.
I remember my friends telling me of these men they were seeing. I wish I could trade places with one of them.