Unable to handle my boyfriends size, he prepares my body for him.
I was 34 yrs old, just started a new job at a university. I was always a shy and timid women, never had alot of friends, grew up in a strict catholic household. Never been to the city, never rode a city transit bus. It just wasnt the new job that was exciting, i was also the environment. Brian and I met only a couple weeks of me starting my new job, Ive never dated, kissed or touched a black man. Of course ive heard the stories that black men were larger than the average man, wasnt a total believer though. Within the first day of talking to Brian, he asked me to go back to his apartment with him, of course I said no, walked away, had to intentions of ever talking to him again. I was scared of being raped or worse. Everyday he'd stop by, kept talking to me, finally convinced me just to go get something to eat with him. That kinda broke the ice alittle, I stayed after work for hours, just talking to him. After the first week, I went to his apartment. His bedroom was in the basement, since he had other roomates, we only had privacy in his room. He had posters of naked women all over his walls, which made me wonder if he was a player or not. We sat on the edge of the bed, he leaned over kissed me. I was relucant, but I just shut my eyes an went with it. Within minutes, his pants was off, he layed on the bed, told me to suck his dick. When I first seen the size of it, I knew it would never fit in my mouth. I knew having sex with him was out of the question, there was no way he would fit inside of me. He told me how to go down on him, to start at the head of his dick, licking, working my way down. to keep my mouth wet, to let the saliva run down his dick. it took me awhile to get the hang of it, once I did I could tell he was enjoying it. After 20 minutes or so, he told me to take my clothes off, I instantly refused. No man has ever seen me totally naked, he tried to persuade me, but I still refused. He finally let up alittle, an told me to take off my pants an panties. I took them off, laid on the bed, he told me to open my knees. I once again refused, I have never been exposed like that, even though I wanted him so bad. He started massaging my feet, slowly working up my calves, to my thighs. It was so relaxing, I havent been touched like that in years. He pushed up my legs, opening me to his face. He inserted the tip of his finger inside of my pussy, moving it slowly. while using his other hand to spread my knees farther apart. Then his head went down between my legs, I thought I was in heaven. He kissed my clit, then lifted my ass up and inserted his tounge inside of me. It only took a few minutes and i came, hard. Then he got on top of me, kissing me, told me he loved that I squirted all over him. I wasnt for sure what he meant by that, but I was to excited to ask any questions. I could feel his dick at my opening, slowly pushing against me to get inside. I kept telling him he was to big, he said it would only hurt for a few, to relax and it would go in easier. I felt the head go in, I screamed in pain, telling him to take it out. He stopped, pulled it back out. Told me to stay laying just like that, while he got a lubricant, asking me when was the last time I had sex. I didnt answer him, I closed my knees while he was getting the lubricant. When he came back to the bed, he put his hands on my knees, spreading them open. Using his fingers he opened my pussy lips, squirted the lubricant inside of me, while rubbing my clit. Telling me it will go in easier now, an it wont feel as painful. Once again we tried, him getting the head in, but he was to big. I couldnt handle the pain. I jumped out of bed, started putting on my pants, I dont know if I was embarrassed or mad, I know I just wanted out of there. He stopped me, looking at me, told me not to worry about it. We will figure out a way for me to be able to handle him, that we have plenty of time. I still insisted on leaving, he walked me to my car. I thought that was the last time Id ever see him again.
The next day at work, Brian came to see me. I was surprised, he asked me to meet him after work to talk. I agreed, I kept wondering what he wanted to talk about. Was it to tell me that since I wasnt able to satisfy him that he wanted nothing to do with me, or that he wanted to try it again and put me through more pain. I was a nervous wreck the rest of the day. I met Brian in the school cafteria, he acted normal, even though I think I was the one looking for anything out of the ordinary. He asked when was the last time Ive had sex, that he's never been with anyone that tight before. I explained that I havent been with anyone for a couple of years. He wanted to know if Ive ever used dildos, that it might be a good way to stretch my puss out alittle to accomidate him. I was so embarrassed, Ive never used a dildo, or any kind of toys. I couldnt believe he was asking me these kind of questions! I gave him a werid look an told him no. He must of picked up on the look I gave him, he said he didnt want anything artificial up inside of me, that we will find a different way. For right now though, we can have oral sex to satisfy both our needs. The next 6 months went by so fast, the sex was great ( what sex we could have). He gave me so much more than sex though, he gave me confidence, always telling me how pretty I was. I wanted him inside me so bad, I wanted the closeness, the connection with him, but I knew the pain would be overwhelming. I searched online for different suggestions on how prepare for his size, most of the answers were obvious, dildos or having sex with someone else that was a smaller size. I finally decided I was going to bring the subject back up to him, and suggest using dildos. We had a date this saturday, so it would be a perfect opportunity.
We met at a little restaurant, I could tell something was different with him, something was bothering him. Maybe tonite wasnt the night to bring up my suggestions, maybe he was breaking it off with me. After dinner, we took a walk in the park, for a few minutes all I could concentrate on was the crunching sound the leaves made as we walked on them. He started telling me that he has never met anyone like me, that the other women hes been with was just a fuck. That he really cared for me, that it was more than just sex and that he wanted to take it a step further. He stopped walking, stood in front of me, got down on one knee, asked me to marry him! I was shocked!! Here in front of me was a guy I wasnt even able to have sex with and he wanted to marry me! A marriage would never work between us, he'd surely get tired of just having oral sex. He'd eventually go find someone else, a marriage with him would be doomed from the first night. I couldnt, how do I explain this to him without hurting his feelings or giving him the impression that I didnt like him? He sensed my hesitation, he knew something was wrong. He took my hand and directed me to a nearby bench, looking at me with his deep brown eyes asking me what I was thinking. How do I tell him?? I could never measure up to other women hes been with, he was more experienced sexually than I would ever be. I couldnt keep him happy, what about having children? It takes having sex to concieve, he was only 28, he wasnt going to stay with someone older than him. Marriage was a huge step, it never crossed my mind, all these thoughts was going through my head. I couldnt think straight, I didnt know what to say. "Id only get married if I was pregnant", I didnt even realize I said that outloud. He looked at me, kissed me, said we can arrange that. I looked at him, how? I cant even have sex with him, how are we going to have a baby together? He took my hand, asked me if I trusted him, for some reason I did. I felt secure with him, I didnt think he would ever do anything to hurt me. He asked for me to accept the ring on my finger, showing that I was spoken for and everything else would fall into place. I did.
Over the next several months he closely monitored my periods, noticing when I would bleed heavier. Ive never exposed myself like this to anyone, hell he would even take out my tampons, yes he still went down on me during my period. He knew everything about my body, besides of the feeling of being inside of me. I noticed he kept a chart, showing ovalation, period dates. I never questioned any of it, I was to embarrassed to talk about it. Once we got through christmas, I noticed Brian was more occupied. He was always at a friends house, or online. I thought maybe he was cheating on me, I let it go for a couple weeks, Until I couldnt take it anymore. I finally confronted him, demanding to know whats going on. If he was cheating, then he needed to get out of my life. He assured me he wasnt, that hes doing all this for me, to be patient.
The 3rd weekend in January he told me we had plans for Friday, to make sure I got home from work as soon as I could. I didnt question to many things with him, he was the one that liked to control the situations, Ive learned to just go along with it.
Friday finally came, not knowing what was going on, I went home directly after work.Soon as I walked in the door , he called me, telling me to jump in the shower, dress in something comfortable and to be at his place by 8. I asked if we were going out, he said neither of us would be going out. I thought it was going to be a night to sit inside an curl up on the couch to watch a move. Boy, could I be more wrong!
I arrived at Brians little after 8, walking in the back door I heard people talking, didnt think to much into it, since Brian had roomates. When Brian noticed I was there, he introduced me to his friends. Paul was black, about 5'6, slender build but with arm muscles, very attractive, Id guess in his early 30's. I had to be careful with the way I looked at him when I was introduced, Brian was very jealous, always had his eye on me. Brian's size was alittle intimidating, 6'4, 260 lbs, all muscle. There was also 2 females there, both were black, probably same age as Brian, very attractive. I never felt out of place around Brian's friends, even though I was always the only white person he was ever around. So by no means did I think anything by his friends being there. After our brief introduction, they left and Brian and I went in the living room to watch tv. I found this alittle odd since we've always went in his room to watch tv, but he said his roomates was gone for the evening. He put a movie in, and disappeared into the kitchen, coming back with a couple beers. Im not one to drink, especially just sitting at home, I asked if he had anything else, but he told me just to try it tonite, that it would help me relax. I really didnt think I was stressed, but I knew better than to argue. He really didnt say to much, just sat and watched the movie. He noticed I was slowly sipping on my beer, so he took it into the kitchen and poured it into a cup. As he sat it in front of me, he told me I had 15 minutes to finish drinking it. I rudely hurried up and guzzled it, then got up to go to the bathroom. He asked me if I was okay, I ignored him and continued walking. I didnt know if he was just having a bad day, or what the problem was, but his attitude was really getting to me. While I was in the bathrrom, he knocked on the door, once again asking if I was okay. I told him yes, then he opens the door and walks in. he asked me if I had peed yet, I gave him a werid look an said no, but if he left the room I could finish my business. I started getting alittle dizzy, he must of noticed and told me he would help me. He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down with my panties, sitting me on the toilet. Then he got a box out from under the sink, told me I needed to pee in the cup. I asked him what it was for, he told me not to worry about it, an asked if I trusted him. Of course I trusted him, just found his behavior strange. He told me to spread my legs, he put the cup up to my pussy an told me to pee. After filling the little cup, he put a plastic stick in it, then wipped me dry and helped me up. When I stood up, I almost fell over. I told him I didnt feel good an that I should go home. He told me I needed to lay down for a bit before considering that. He picked me up, put me over his shoulder and carried me downstairs. He laid me on the bed, started taking my clothes off, I told him no, that I just needed to go to sleep for a bit. He told me to go to sleep, finished taking my clothes and kissed me on the forehead. He put a sheet over me, I could hear other people in the room talking, but couldnt make out what they were saying.
I must of blacked out for a bit, when I opened my eyes I seen others in the room. Couldnt make out who they were, as the light was shinning from behind them. Brian seen my eyes open, came over to the bed, putting his fingers through my hair asking me if I was alright. I said I was really dizzy and didnt feel right. He told me he added alitle something to my drink to take the edge off, that he knew Id be nervous and he wanted me to enjoy this. I didnt understand what he was talking about, I repeately asked him why? He told me that he loved me very much, he wanted to make me his wife, that he couldnt hurt me. But he needed to be able to plant his seed inside my womb, an with him being so big, he needed someone to help him prepare my puss for him. I was so confused, I couldnt understand what he was telling me. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking at me, smiling, holding my hand. Then I felt someone lift the sheet off me from the bottom of the bed, hands on my thighs, Brian told me to lay still and let them do it, that it will make things easier for me. I looked over and seen each of the females I met earlier on both sides of the bed, pulling my legs apart, picking up my legs and pulling me to the edge of the bed. I was terrified, I looked at Brian asking what was going on. He told me he wont let them hurt me, to relax, that it will all be over in awhile. I could hardly move, not alone try and get out of the bed. Once the girls got my bottom to the edge of the bed, I felt a warm oil being squirted on my pussy, I felt them rubbing it in, inserting their fingers inside me, deep inside of me. The other girls hand started moving the oil to my bottom, using the tip of her finger to insert it inside my bum. I gasped, whispering to Brian to make them stop. Just to please make it stop He just kept telling me to relax, he told me if he didnt love me, he would never let another man take me before he did. That he wont hurt me, and if this is what my puss needs before he can go inside of it, hes willing to do it. I heared a guys voice say he was ready, then Brian leaned over and started kissing me passionally on the lips, I felt the girls open my legs as wide as they could go. I felt something pushing at my opening, I tried to talk but Brians mouth was on mine still kissing me. I felt something go in me, only an inch or so then stop. Brian stopped kissing me, looked between my legs and told me the head of his boyz dick was in, just for me to relax and shut my eyes. I heard the guy say that it was tight, Brian telling him to shhh. Brian told me hes gonna go in alittle each time so my puss can adjust to the size, that it wont hurt. I felt someones hand starting to play with my clit, then I felt a mouth on each of my nipples. Massaging and kneeding each breast while they sucked lightly at my nipples. I felt the guys dick go in alittle more, then stopping, pulling back out and forward again, each time going deeper. Not sure how much time had passed, but Brian came back and looked me in the eyes and told me his boyz dick was all the way in. I was so close to cumming, but whoever was playing with my clit knew how to keep me from finishing. Brian came up to my face, told me to look at him, and asked if I was ready. I thought he meant for me to be able to take him, I said yes. He grabbed my hand and told me to squeeze hard, I was so close to cumming, I kept telling him I was going to cum, he told me to squirt all over his boy, to give him that nut. As soon as I started cumming, I felt the piercing pain in my lower adbomen. I passed out.
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