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This is my first story so criticism is welcomed. Rudeness is not welcomed. There isn't any sex in this story but if i get good enough feedback i will make a part two with sex. This is a rather long story so brace yourself.

The day started out like any normal day; I woke up, got ready, and left the house with my older brother. My name is Jake and I am 6’1”, scrawny and not really muscular. I am more of an intellectual type and I read more than anything else. When I got to school I did my normal rutine by going to my locker then heading to my first period. I usually walk alone in the hallways mainly because I like the solitude but also because I am not all that popular. I mean I have friends and stuff but I don’t really have my own little group of friends. When I got into my first period I started talking to my friends about random stuff like cars music and the stupid drama going around. When I sat down I saw her walk in, her name is Kathy and is by far the prettiest girl in the class. She is around 5’2” brown hair brown eyes flawless tan skin and has a nice body on account of being a competition cheerleader. When she sat down at her table she turned to me and asked “Hey Jake your last name on Facebook is your middle name right?” I turned towards and told her it was because for some reason it won’t accept my last name. I asked why and she told me she wanted to send me an invitation to her 16th birthday party. When I heard this I was excited cause she is one of the most popular girls in the sophomore class. After that the day went by without anything else exciting happening. When I got home I checked my Facebook and sure enough I had and invite to her party. Even though I was invited I wasn’t going to go. I know that you may thinking that I may be an idiot for not going but I don’t really know any of her friends and to be honest I was too scared to go. Even though I wasn’t going I still wanted to get her a present since she invited me. I didn’t know what to get her or how I was going to get it to her. After a day or two of deliberation I decided to put my one strength to use, drawing. I was a competent artist by my sophomore year and was best at pencil drawings so I decided to draw a picture for her of herself. Is that creepy? Anyways I started on her drawing and kept at it for hours and hours. Only once I thought it was perfect did I stop drawing. Now all I had to do was think of how I was going to give it to her. There was no way I was going to give it to her at school. I don’t think I could handle the embarrassment and I wasn’t going to her party so I decided to mail it to her. I didn’t want her to know it was me in case she didn’t like it so I signed on the back “To the one whose beauty rivals that of Aphrodite, Anonymous 1st period” I know it was kind of cheesy but I had to put it. I wanted to give some indication of who may have drawn it so the 1st period hopefully would give her ideas. Once I got it all sealed up in an envelope I sent it off and began to wait. I would have to wait until after winter break because her birthday is December 26th and wait I did.
On the first day back from winter break I followed my usual routine and by the time I ended up in first period she was there in all her beauty. I decided to talk to her so I gathered up some confidence and walked up to and asked her how her break/ birthday was. She started telling me how it was great and all this stuff. I asked her if she got any good presents or any odd ones. She told me that she did in fact get one odd present and I asked her what it was even though I knew who it was. She told me it was this really nice drawing of her and so I asked her who gave it to her. She said that there was no name other than a note, the name anonymous and 1st period. She then said that it obviously was someone in our class but had no idea so she started asking around. The first people she asked had no idea who it was so she then asked Patrick who was one of the other competent artists. She went up and asked him, “Hey Patrick did you send me a nice portrait of me for my birthday?” Now I expected him to say no since he didn’t draw it but he had the nerve to look her in the face and say that he in fact did draw it. She got all happy saying how it was an amazing drawing and that the note on the back was one of the nicest things anyone had said to her. She also started to tell everyone else and even showed them pictures of it on her phone. That lying dickhead was getting all of this attention because of me. I couldn’t just tell the whole class that I drew it because nobody would believe me and think I was just trying to get attention. After a while they started talking and I couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to tell her. I didn’t know how to tell it to her face so I decided to write a note to her. Since I was an attendance office aid I could get her locker number which yes is kind of creepy. I wrote her a note saying that Patrick didn’t draw her the picture but her was taking credit for my (Anonymous) work. To prove this I drew another better picture of her signed “Anonymous 1st period” and sealed it all in an envelope and waited until after school to put it in her locker. The next morning when I got into first period I waited for to get into class. When she finally did she looked beyond pissed and walked up to Patrick and threw the picture and note at him started yelling at him saying how he was a lying no good piece of shit. That last bit shocked us all because Kathy never cussed which meant she was really pissed. They started arguing which ended in Kathy running out of the class in tears. When I saw this I felt like such a dick because I was the reason why she was crying. I didn’t see her the rest of the day and I found out when I was in the attendance office that she had gone home during first. When I got home that day I drew another picture and signed it the same way but this time putting my initials into the drawing like they do in coins. Since it took me all night to draw the picture I had to put it in her locker after school the next day. Finally when I got to class the day after putting it in her locker I was really nervous. When she got into class she had the envelope in her hand and I saw that it was open. She didn’t say anything to me but I noticed her glancing up at me from time to time. Finally when the bell rang I got up to leave and she grabbed my sleeve and motioned for me to stay back. Once everyone was gone she said, “Hello Anonymous.” I didn’t know what to say back other than a weak hi from the nerves. She must have sensed this because she laughed and just hugged me and thanked me for not only the beautiful pictures but also for tell her the truth. We started talking and she asked I didn’t just sign my name and I told her I was scared that she would think I was weird. She laughed at this saying there was nothing weird about it and then asked why I hadn’t just said she was pretty instead of what I had put. I looked at her eyes for a second before answering and I told her that calling her pretty was too much of an understatement. With this she hugged me and gave me her number so that we could hang out after school.

There may be a part two depending on what type of feedback i get.
9 comments

anonymous readerReport

2012-12-26 02:46:08
You should post the 2part! I really like this. I agreee w/2012-12-15 20:50:52 keep it sweet and make them longer.

anonymous readerReport

2012-12-16 00:35:07
Yeah as others have said better formatting would be nice however it's he beginning of a good story. I really enjoyed it more please :)

anonymous readerReport

2012-12-15 23:55:20
No sex and you threaten your readers to give you good ratings or eles.

Fuck you!

anonymous readerReport

2012-12-15 21:20:59
Keep going.grate start

anonymous readerReport

2012-12-15 20:50:52
Yes, some paragraphing would help, but the beginning of a nice story. High school love comes slow and sweet - don't rush it. Let them take their time - an actual relationship would be a treat. Please don't them "hard core" any time soon.

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