Victoria looked out the window of the hotel room she was sharing with Jack. She could barely keep her mind on one thought or worry, it was like trying to grab snakes while pumped full of Novocain. Playing in her mind over and over like a Youtube video set to repeat, the scene from the garage haunted her like the guilt of a crime. Her emotions were a sea of confusion, struggling to define her feelings for Jack. After seeing what he was capable of, she felt fear; after realizing the secret he had kept from her, she felt distrust and resentment; and after hearing his words and seeing him smile… she felt love.
As Jack came up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders and kissing her neck, she stirred and pulled away, almost with disgust. Biting his lip, he wrapped his arms around her waist, and while she gave a half-hearted struggle for a few seconds, she quickly became docile.
“Victoria, what do I have to do to make your forgive me?” He asked.
“You don’t get it, you just don’t get it. It’s not a matter of whether or not I can forgive you, it’s a matter of what this means for our relationship. I have no idea who or what you are and you won’t answer any of my questions.” She said bitterly.
“No, this is about forgiveness. You’re angry with me for keeping this secret from you. You’re angry with me for complicating things. You’re angry with me because I can’t give you any answers right now. But what angers you the most is that things had to change when they were so perfect just an hour ago. Speak your mind Victoria.” He replied.
“How can I trust you? How can I believe you when you say you love me or start preaching your psycho bullshit?! How do I know that you’re not just stringing me along, thinking of me in the same way that a human thinks of an animal or an insect? How can I ever trust you when I can never be your equal?” She asked.
“Victoria, I am human. I have a human brain and a human body, and the way I feel and think is possible for any other human. Except for my powers, any other human can become like me, it all depends on how they choose to see the universe and how they choose to shape their perceptions. The love I feel for you is just like the love anyone else would feel in my position. I love you and I care about you.”
“But why have you hidden the truth from me?”
“Because of this, right here and now. Can you imagine what your reaction would have been before we started our relationship? We’ve been together for so short a time, can you really say that you would have handled this better in the past?”
“If you can bring back the dead, why didn’t you bring back your mom?” Victoria asked.
“I do not see life and death in the same way you do, everything I have said about existing forever has been honest and true. The only reason why I revived those thugs is to make up for the violence I committed against them in the first place. What happened to my mother was an accident, but what I did to them was on purpose. Admittedly, I let my temper get the best of me, and recreating them was my penitence for it.” He said with his hold loosening. Taking a step forward, Victoria turned around and placed her hands on Jack’s chest.
“Do you really love me?” She asked.
“With all of my heart.” Ha answered.
“Then I trust you.” She murmured.
Leaning forward, she buried her face in the side of his neck and held onto him for dear life. Jack wrapped his arms tightly around her, his fingers tented against the back of her head and the sweet fragrance of her hair dominating his senses. Both humming like newborn pups, they tightened their grasp on each other, holding themselves so close together that they could feel each other’s hearts beating. As if surrendering, Victoria released her hold and raised her head, glanced up with a small content smile and blushing face. Looking like a cat getting rubbed in just the right spot behind the ear, she completely let go and almost became limp, fully giving in to the feeling of being embraced.
Slowly, Jack loosened his hold and the two teenagers stared into each other’s eyes, waiting only a few moments before they started kissing. Panting heavily from their growing horniness, they moved over to the bed without ending heir kiss, quickly undressing each other before lying down. Without using his hands, Jack entered Victoria with one great push, drawing a gasp of joy from the young beauty. Their naked bodies pressed together and interlocked, the two lovers began panting and trembling in bliss with Jack taking point, thrusting into Victoria with machine-like strength.
Victoria’s body was indescribable in its physical beauty and feeling. Her firm rolling breasts jiggling against his chest, her soft flat belly lapping against his like waves on the beach, her long smooth legs wrapping around his waist and holding him tightly, her beautiful scarlet hair smelling like roses and fruit, and her red lips, as soft and delicate as wisps of ice cream. He loved every single centimeter of her body, and she could feel his love. She could feel his feelings basically being injected into her with each penetration, as well as with each breath they shared while they kissed.
Jack began to pick up speed, driving into her like a woodpecker and causing the mattress to rock back and forth and bounce on its frame. Feeling her barriers crashing down with each thrust, Victoria stopped kissing him and laid back, relishing the feeling of her approaching orgasm. Knowing the signs, Jack changed his movements, stirring his cock inside her with each thrust instead of relying on deep penetration. At last, Victoria cried out in ecstasy and Jack could feel her pussy shaking with wet arousal.
“Oh Jack!” She moaned over and over again.
Not done, Jack rolled off her and got behind her with the two of them on their sides. Lifting up her leg, he re-entered her and resumed fucking her, giving her a wide excited smile from the switch to the new position. Grinning and licking her lips, Victoria looked back and resumed hissing him, while placing one hand on his cheek and using the other hand to rub her clit. With the threshold reached, Victoria was quick to have another mind-numbing orgasm.
“Victoria, I’m going to cum.” He grunted in her ear.
“Well you’ve certainly deserved it. Give to me baby, pour all of your semen into me.” She whined.
Happy to obey, Jack put all of his remaining strength into twenty more brutally-fast thrusts, forcing his cock into her with so much speed that his balls were basically being slingshot back and forth almost painfully. In tandem with the twentieth thrust, Jack gave a low growl and emptied all of his reserves into her, filling her up to the point where sperm was overflowing and oozing out of her pussy. His erection deflating, Jack pulled out of her and laid his head on the pillow.
“I love you Jack, and I just want to be with you.” Victoria whispered, pressing herself against him.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be together forever.” He replied, holding her close and slowly drifting to sleep.
“For as long as I can remember, my mom has been an overachiever with high expectations of me. You could say that she is a workaholic, always spending her time at one job or another, coming home late each night because she would rather work 5 to 9 instead of 9 to 5. It’s not like we needed the money, we would have been fine if she had worked better hours. When I asked her why she was never home and why she was so obsessed with work, she said that adults have to work, that’s just the way it is. Knowing what you have to do and doing it is all a part of growing up. She drilled that into my mind over and over again: know what you have to do and then do it, it’s time for you to grow up. I used to think she just hated my dad and I, but now I’m old enough to know that she’s just crazy. Oh well, with me being a whore and my mom always gone, it’s no big surprise that I started screwing my dad every night.” Kelly said with a bitter laugh, sitting on the invisible ground with her back to Jack.
“How Freudian, very interesting.” Jack said, walking towards her from across the dreamscape.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“Freud believed that early childhood experiences dominated the shaping process of the human mind, and that most inner conflicts stemmed from the instinctive desire to have sex gone wrong. Many of these issues deal with the parents of the opposite gender. To be frank, you’re Freud’s wet dream.” He explained, sitting down behind her, back to back.
“So how does that help me?” Kelly asked, leaning her head back against his shoulder.
“Well we have two aspects as to the development of your identity crisis. On one hand, you have an uncaring mom who would rather stay at the office long into night than take her role as a wife and mother, leaving that role open, and you have her forcing a concept into your mind that terrified you and gave you a deep-seated fear of growing older. The family is the greatest basis for the development of our personalities: we mirror ourselves after our same-gender parent or rebel to create our own personality, in this case, your mother. We then use our opposite-gender parent as a model in which we develop our expectations for everyone of the opposite gender.
Quite simply, your father is the first man you have ever known and you used him as a model to set your expectations for finding a mate. With this, it’s clear that since you didn’t really have a mother in which to mirror or rebel against, you instead saw the role that she left wide open. Because you had no identity of your own, you sought to take your absent mother’s, at least in terms of responsibility. This can often take place in single-parent families, but it is because of your complete lack of an identity that you took it so far. This is why you never really felt shame when being intimate with your father; it was because you had not established your role as the daughter.
Then, there is the second aspect. From what I understand, you loathe your mother and you rarely ever saw her. From this, I can assume that you naturally rebelled against becoming like her, using only what you were able to gleam from her. She said that she basically drilled into your mind the concept that growing up involves total self-knowledge and the stoic sense of what has to be done. You hated your mother, so you hated what she believed in. You didn’t want to prove her right and become what she wanted, so you turned your back on knowing yourself. You tried to fight against the aging process, you wanted to stay young, immature, and carefree to rebel against her, and to do that, you had to stay ignorant of who you are and “what you needed to do”. Basically, your feelings for your mother triggered and energized humans’ natural fear of death and aging.
The fact that you were so desperate to stay young also helps explain why you chose the role of a prostitute. By becoming a sex object, you made yourself feel wanted and attractive, which is the main desire and fear that people normally develop, as they grow older.” He said.
“So what should I do?” Kelly asked, feeling the last and greatest weight basically melting off her shoulders.
“Nothing. You now know the source of your problems, and with that, you will naturally and subconsciously work to fix it. You have discovered your identity, so you’ve solidified your core and know where you stand. All that’s left is to overcome your anger and resentment for your mother and come to terms with your fear of death and aging, which you will achieve when I teach you to unlock the Self. For now, you are done.” He said.
Getting up on her knees, Kelly turned around and leaned on Jack, wrapping her arms around him.
“Jack, you’ve helped me more than anyone else in my life. No one has ever been so kind to me and done so much for me.”
“You don’t have to thank me, we’re friends after all.” Jack said with a smile while reaching back stroking her hair.
“Jack, I think I love you.” She murmured. Jack’s hand stopped, and he slowly moved it down from her hair and placed it on her hand.
“Kelly, you know I am with Victoria. I love her and I promised her that I would be with no one else.” He said softly.
“But you love me too, I know you do! You wouldn’t have done all this for me if you didn’t!” She said desperately with a tight hold.
“You’re right, I do care about you, but not in the same way I care about Victoria. Please Kelly, don’t make this difficult.” He said.
“You told me that you love to help people, to fulfill their potential. If I could be with someone I love and who loves me, just for one night, I think I may finally understand who I truly am. Be my mirror, show me my reflection.” She pleaded. Jack sighed.
“Speak to Victoria, I won’t do anything unless she wants me to.” He finally said.
“In order to discover the Self, you must see through the Superego. You must see through the display you use to project who you are, the part of your personality that is shaped by events and experiences. Think of your mind as like a planet, with your Self as the pure molten core, free of all characteristics or distinguishable features. Your Superego is the surface, shaped and morphed by the tectonic collisions of your life and decorated by life. All three of you have gone through this process: Victoria, you removed the barriers you had created around yourself out of fear of assimilation and have learned to trust others; Kelly, you discovered your identity and came to terms with your innate fear of growing up; Tyler, you faced the death of your sister, learned that pain is in the mind, and that there is no possible course of action, except for the one taken, all resulting in the loss of the guilt that has plagued you for years.” Said Jack. The four teenagers were sitting on the floor in Jack’s room, taking advantage of the time after school.
“Now, you all know that I am different, and I have promised you all of your answers on my birthday. That said, it would be better for you to complete this before then, which means that we have four days. Today I will begin going over with you the main concepts of the self and give an overview of the Tree of Life, something I have instructed Kelly to research. After that, we will closely examine the concepts, and hopefully, you will all be ready to accept my answers. Are you all ready?” He asked. Everyone nodded.
“Good, I’ll start off summarizing what I have told you all already. The Self is the core of your personality, the untainted source of all your honest likes and dislikes. When I say honest, I mean that the social factor has no effect on it. If you give into peer pressure, you could say that your Superego is the need to impress others, but the Self is your conscience, telling you not to give in. The interesting thing is that with this example, your conscience is acting, but not specifically your morals. Basically, the Self does not recognize rules or laws.
The Self has a very instinctual and biological origin, as it controls how we perceive our world and essentially regulates the flow of chemicals and neural pulses in the brain. It is like a combination of your physical desires and your pure emotions, basically the Id and Ego to your Superego, as Freud would say. However, the Self is also the source of higher-level thinking. I don’t mean that unlocking the Self makes you a super-genius, but it is instead the medium we use to conceive our place in the universe. The Superego looks only at the tiny world we live in, but the Self takes in our acknowledgement of the entirety of creation and gives birth to true philosophy.
As I said before, the Self controls our perceptions, labeling everything as good or bad, basically working on autopilot. However, if you can achieve the Self and see the truth that it provides for you, then you can see something from every possible angle, both positive and negative, and truly choose to be happy. People often ask me why I am so happy. Quite simply, I am happy because I am able to see the light in everything. They say that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, well that’s basically how I see the world. I only lower my smile out of respect for people grieving or when it is socially needed.”
“So how exactly do you discover the Self?” Kelly asked.
“You must overcome every assumption and unwritten rule that society has given you, you must realize your true value in the universe, and you must learn to go beyond black and white perceptions and see the grey in between. Many of the lessons on the Self, you have each already learned, albeit separately. I’ll go over all of them again so that you each get the same lesson, but not now. Now, we focus on the Tree of Life, also known as the Kabbalah and the Sephirot Tree. I figure since you know what I am capable of, there is no point in hiding it.”
On the wall behind Jack, three diagrams of light appeared, each the size of a table. All three of his students gasped in amazement, even Victoria, who had seen him block a knife, dematerialize bullets, and rip humans apart atom by atom and then resurrect them. The first diagram was of the simple Tree of Life, no more than a web with eleven bubbles, a name in each one. The second one was more complex, with explanations and directions around and between each bubble, as well as multiple symbols. However, due to the language of its origin, it was completely unreadable. The third looked downright strange, resembling an upside-down palm tree with branches extending from the trunk and a label imprinted on each of the ten leaves. Each branch had its own Sephirot bubble, as well as the heart of the roots and the knot of the tree.
“The tree has multiple interpretations, not only in translation but in appearance. One of my favorites is the work of Robert Fludd, the one who created the third diagram. The Tree of Life is one of the foundations of all religion, serving as the pathway to God. Now before you start worrying, I want to assure that I’m not trying to indoctrinate you into a cult.” He said with a laugh, which was joined by the others.
“I use the Tree of Life as a reference because I find it to be truly a fascinating concept and a perfect example for my methods. I am in no way religious. You all know my motto; half of reality is how you perceive it. When I say it, I mean that it is only through consciousness that things can be labeled and categorized. You can’t deny that a star is a colossal mass of nuclear fire, but you need a mind to actually label it as ‘hot’. This ability, born to everything that thinks, could almost considered a divine power. Quite simply, the gods that humans try so hard to find are actually the humans themselves.
That’s why the Tree of Life is such a good example for my teachings, you can replace God with the Self for the achievement that it leads you to. Since God and man are one in the same, the Tree of Life leads back to the same goal. Now, we move onto the definition. Each Sephirot on the tree corresponds to a virtue, a state of mind that must be attained to form a path. The tree has many different translations, but the overall idea is the same. Try to remember these, at least the definitions.
Keter, the first Sephirot, is our direct connection to our higher self. It links us to the higher dimensions through which only the mind may enter, since the mind creates them. It also consists of things that the human mind cannot comprehend. It represents the primal stirrings of intent in the Ein Soph –the Ein Soph being both the origin of everything and the divine nothing- or the arousal of desire to come forth into the varied life of being. But in this sense, although it contains all the potential for content, it contains no content itself, and is therefore called 'Nothing',
Chokhmah, the second of the ten Sephirot, is the first power of conscious intellect within Creation, and the first point of 'real' existence, since Keter represents emptiness. It is the power of intuitive insight, as well as wisdom. The "wisdom" of Chokhmah also implies the ability to look deeply at some aspect of reality and abstract its conceptual essence till one succeeds in uncovering its underlying axiomatic truth. These seeds of truth can then be conveyed to the companion power of Binah for the sake of intellectual analysis and development. Consider this our ability to comprehend and define.
Binah is 'understanding' or 'contemplation'. It is likened to a 'palace of mirrors' that reflects the pure point of light of Chokmah, increasing and multiplying it in an infinite variety of ways. In this sense, it is the 'quarry', which is carved out by the light of wisdom. On a psychological level, Binah is "processed wisdom," also known as deductive reasoning. It is davar mitoch davar -understanding one idea from another idea. While Chockmah is intellect that does not emanate from the rational process (it is either inspired or taught), Binah is the rational process that is innate in the person, which works to develop an idea fully.
Da’at is considered the point of creation, when the active principle of Chokhmah (wisdom), meets with the passive principle of Binah, 'understanding', and creates the archetypal idea of knowledge. These three are sometimes referred to as the “super-conscious”. You could say that Da’at is an unofficial Sephirot, serving as the keystone between all of them. Consider it your anchor, the balance in which you retain your humanity so that the knowledge of the Tree of Life doesn’t fuel your ego and give you delusional ideas of grandeur.
Chesed is loving-kindness, a simple virtue that can never be underestimated in its value. Like Da’at, it is an anchor to remind you that you are human, as one who is cruel seeks to separate himself from others, while someone who is kind opens their heart and places trust.
Gevurah is understood as God's mode of punishing the wicked and judging humanity in general. But like I’ve said before, man and God are one in the same, therefor, it is the ability of humans to judge other humans. It is the foundation of stringency, absolute adherence to the letter of the law, and strict meting out of justice, essentially making it the key to mankind’s ability to create civilization. This stands in contrast to Chesed. Gevurah is associated in the soul with the power to restrain one's innate urge to bestow goodness upon others, when the recipient of that good is judged to be unworthy and liable to misuse it. I used Gevurah when Victoria and I were attacked, knowing there was no time to talk. As the force that measures and assesses the worthiness of Creation, Gevurah is also referred to in the Kabbalah as midat hadin (the attribute of judgment). It is the restraining might of Gevurah which allows one to overcome his enemies, be they from without or from within (his evil inclination).
Tiferet is the force that integrates the Sephirot of Chesed ("compassion") and Gevurah (Strength or Judgement). These two forces are, respectively, expansive (giving) and restrictive (receiving). Either of them without the other could not manifest the flow of enlightened energy; they must be balanced in perfect proportion by balancing compassion with discipline. This balance can be seen in the role of Tiferet, wherein the conflicting forces are harmonized, and creation flowers forth. This is what will grant you the knowledge to know when to talk down a terrorist who has shot you in the chest and is trying to crash a plane and when to do what you can to ensure your safety or the safety of someone else. Tiferet also balances Netzach and Hod in a similar manner. In that case, Hod can be seen as the intellect where Netzach is seen as emotion.
Understanding the attributes of Netzach and Hod gives us a new perspective into understanding what is happening in the world. No longer do we merely look at an act at face value and attempt to understand it as such, but we must look at it also in terms of "a means to an end.” These Sephirot mark a turning point. Whereas the first two groups of Sephirot deal with intrinsic will and what it is that we desires to bestow upon other people, these Sephirot are focused on man: What is the most appropriate way for man to receive God's message? How can God's will be implemented most effectively? In essence, it is the innate desire to find the Self, balancing intellect and emotion to uncover your core.
All the Sephirot are likened to different parts of the body, and Netzach and Hod are likened to the two feet of a person. Feet are usually only the means for a person's activity. While the hands are the main instrument of action, the feet bring a person to the place where he wishes to execute that action. However, Hod is seen as form of "submission"; being explained that instead of "conquering" an obstacle in one's way, (which is the idea of Netzach), subduing oneself to that "obstacle" is related to the quality of Hod. Tyler, what you and I discussed about how time dictates all actions fit into this category. It is the humble acceptance of one’s role and value in the universe.
The Sephirot of Yesod translates spiritual concepts into actions that unite us with God, or as I’ve said, the Self. It plays the role of collecting and balancing the different and opposing energies of Hod and Netzach, and also from Tiferet above it, storing and distributing it throughout the world. It is likened to the engine-room of creation. Think of it as the hub between the Self and the Superego, creating the compromises between our true desires and society’s needs that we experience every day. When the Self tells you that you are hungry but your Superego reminds you that you are on a diet, the principal of Yesod comes into play in the form of you deciding to eat something healthy.
Malkuth is the final Sephirot, and unlike the other nine, it is an attribute of mankind, which does not emanate from mankind directly. Rather it emanates from mankind's creation—when that creation reflects and evinces mankind's glory from within itself. Think of it as the final anchor, the link between the world outside your body and the world inside your mind. It is associated with the realm of matter and relates to the physical world. It is important not to think of this Sephirot as merely "unspiritual", for even though it is the emanation furthest from the divine source, it is still on the Tree of Life. As the receiving sphere of all the other Sephirot above it, Malkuth gives tangible form to the other emanations. It is like the negative node of an electrical circuit. The divine energy comes down and finds its expression in this plane, and our purpose as human beings is to bring that energy back around the circuit again and up the Tree.
Now, that is it for today. Go home, mull over what I have told you, and see what progress you can make on your own. I’ll leave you all alone tonight.”
Everyone nearly rolled back onto the floor like water if its container suddenly disappeared. They had been sitting still for so long and paying so much attention to Jack that they had lost all feeling in their muscles. They all stood up and stretched, moaning in joy at the feeling of finally being able to ease the tension in their bodies.
“Alright ladies, I’ll drive you home.” Tyler said with a yawn.
“Actually I live just down the road, so I’ll stay with Jack a little longer and then walk home. But thank you though.” Victoria said gratefully.
“Kelly?” Tyler asked.
“Yeah, that would be great. But uh, Victoria? Could I talk to you for a minute?” She replied, causing Victoria to raise an eyebrow in suspicion.
“Sure.” She said, following Kelly out of the room and deep into the hall.
“So, what do you think they’re talking about?” Tyler asked.
“I don’t have the heart to listen in.” Jack said, standing up and stretching.
“You’ve certainly recovered from your wound quickly.” Tyler remarked.
“Well now that you three know, I don’t have to pretend anymore. Really, I just walk with the cane for everyone else’s sake.” Jack explained.
“So when I discover my Self, will I get powers like yours?” He asked, making Jack laugh.
“No, my abilities and the Self are completely unrelated. Don’t worry my friend, you’ll get your answers soon enough.” Jack responded.
“So what’s up?” Victoria asked, standing in the bathroom with Kelly.
“You told me about what happened with those guys in Washington, but there is something I need to tell you. You know that I used to be a whore and a drug addict… well I’m not anymore. I mean that literally; I’m a virgin and I’ve never had any drugs in my system.” She said nervously. Victoria looked at her quizzically.
“What do you mean?”
“Jack cured me of all my problems. He cured me of all my STDs, my withdrawal symptoms, he removed my scars, and he even gave me my virginity. Basically, I haven’t been this pure since I was nine years old. I told you that so I could tell you this. I don’t know how to say it, so I’m just going to be blunt. I’m in love with Jack, and with your permission, I’d like to have a three-way.” Said Kelly. Victoria took a slow deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check and not feel overly protective.
“Go home Kelly.” Victoria sighed, walking out of the bathroom.
“Nice chat.” Kelly said with a click of her tongue.
“So, did you get what you were looking for?” Kelly asked, sitting in the passenger seat of Tyler’s pickup truck as they drove towards her house.
“I guess, I got a lot of information but no real answers. Though I guess I can understand, I mean he did basically give us the tools to achieve our goals, now he’s going to let us experiment with them before telling us what they’re for. I just wonder if we’ll really accomplish something before the 21st.” Tyler shrugged.
“I’ve been wondering about that. You know what the 21st is, right?” Kelly asked.
“Of course, 12/21/2012, the Mayan doomsday that everyone has been talking about. What, you think it’s real?” Tyler laughed.
“Well maybe not the Mayan thing exactly, but haven’t you noticed that he wants to get everything done before then, like he’s not expecting anything after? What if he knows something that we don’t.”
“Girl, from the moment we met, I’ve known that he knows something that I don’t know.” Tyler grunted.
Jack and Victoria lay on his fold-out mattress, painting heavily with their bodies glistening with sweat and their clothes scattered across the room.
“Kelly asked for a three-way.” Victoria said out of the blue.
“Really? I didn’t think she would go that far.” Jack replied.
“So you knew?”
“Of course I knew, I’m the one who sent her to ask you. She said she wanted to sleep with me, I turned her down because I’m with you, she insisted, and I told her that she would have to talk to you if I were to break my promise. I must say, the suggestion was a good idea on her part. Make you feel more comfortable by letting you watch and intervene however you like, let you remain a part of it. It seems she really trusts you, after all, you’re one of her first real friends.”
“You’re such a gentleman.” She said sweetly.
“So what was your answer?”
“I said no. I’m not into women and I hate the idea of sharing you.” She replied, sitting up with a blanket wrapped around her.
“With how hungrily you lick your fingers clean after each session of playing with yourself, some would say otherwise. Besides, maybe this would help you finally eliminate your trust issues.” Jack suggested. Victoria shot him a dirty look.
“I’m going home.” She established.
Kelly was lying in bed, staring up at her ceiling with her mind abuzz with questions, all of which about Jack, the 21st, or his teachings. What was going to happen on Friday? Would Victoria change her mind if she pressed the matter? How was she supposed to make sense of what Jack had told her. She had studied the Tree of Life over and over, but she just couldn’t figure out how it worked.
‘Calm down, you aren’t helping yourself by getting all worked up. Jack told you to try and make some progress on your own, so do it and quit complaining. We have to do whatever he says, he’s our teacher.
Holy shit, we may be a cult after all.’ She thought to herself before laughing.
Her nerves steady, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and interlaced her fingers with her whole body becoming calm. Lying on her back, not moving, she slowly felt sleepiness crawling up her body like frost. But it was mental tiredness she wanted, not physical tiredness. More and more, she calmed her mind, focusing only on her breathing until she felt herself beginning to fall back towards the world of dreams.
‘Ok, Jack isn’t coming tonight, so I can’t rely on a dream to help me. So… visualize it.’ Kelly thought, imagining the Tree of Life. No matter how many times she looked at it, it always seemed familiar, like it was tickling some long-lost memory.
‘Focus on the first one, Keter, focus. He said… he said that it dealt with higher planes, those that only the mind could reach and the ones that surpassed all human understanding. He said it was nothingness, the bleakness from which creation originated. Ok, not sure what to do with that. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to try…’ She thought.
Like sweat from pores, liquid darkness began to ooze forth from every surface in her room like ink. She was sinking into her mind, bypassing all stages of sleep and landing right in the REM stage. As she sank further and further into the dream, her mind was losing its grip on reality. Within minutes, she began to sink into her bed as well, losing her sense of what it felt like and her knowledge that it was really there. Finally, her sheets opened up beneath her and she fell into space, surrounded by stars and galaxies.
“Planes that only my mind can reach and planes that I cannot comprehend… The bleakness from which creation originated…” She murmured as her bra and panties slowly slipped off her body and transformed into gas.
“The limits of what I can understand, the edge of my mind… The edge of the universe…” She whispered, closing her eyes and allowing her brain to delve further into the dream.
Taking a deep breath, Kelly felt no fear or shock as cells began to bud off her. At first they were no more than the usual dead skin cells, but in seconds, entire layers of skin were flaking off, revealing the muscles and veins beneath. As if being eaten by acid, all the veins began to corrode, their cells being jettisoned off like the escape pods of a space ship. In a silent splatter, her veins all popped, emptying her blood into space. With the biological cloud expanding, her muscles became the next material to fall apart, followed by her organs, and at last, her skeleton.
Moving quickly, her cells spread out in all directions, flying off through space. Each cell, intact and immune to damage, contained all of her senses and was linked to the rest in one great hive mind. Kelly could feel them all, as if they were billions of tiny hands with eyes in the palms, letting her see and touch everything. And yet, there was no brain or top cell for the information to be received. It felt like she experienced everything through each cell all at once.
Her cells continued to spread out, some picking up speed and others slowing down. Time passed, Kelly didn’t know how long, it barely felt like an hour to her. But regardless of time or the elements, her cells survived the wraths of space, being sucked into black holes, landing on planets and asteroids, getting caught in space storms and gas giants, or just flying off into the darkest corners of the cosmos, never to see or be seen again. Over the course of what felt like barely a couple of hours but were really several billion years, Kelly’s cells were stretched across the entire universe like a 3D minefield, her existence spread out across the entirety of the universe.
But… it was too great. She could see from each and every one of her cells, but it was like she couldn’t communicate with them. Whenever she focused her attention on one, she would completely forget about what she saw with the others. She would look through one, find she couldn’t contact the one closest to it, and completely forget about everything she had seen in the first. It was like each and every time she applied the tiniest amount of focus or attention, her memory completely slipped, like a goldfish swimming in circles because the bowl seemed completely new to it with each lap.
But there was more, she new there was more to see. She had to go beyond the horizon, go beyond the edge of the universe. She willed herself to go further, expand her parameters to new sizes. Her cells continued to fly out in all directions, approaching the very rim of the universe. But the farther they flew, the foggier their vision came. Each one was essentially failing like a broken security camera, but she couldn’t stop, she had to see more! She was so close, she had just about reached the edge of the universe. Finally, she broke through into the realm of Nonexistence,
Suddenly, her universe began to condense, closing in on itself, being devoured by true Nonexistence. Kelly’s cells were all being pushed back into the universe, watching as the colorless Nonexistence washed over the universe like a tsunami. It was all shrinking, the universe collapsing to half its size, then a quarter, the size of a galaxy, a nebula, a black hole, a star, a planet, a house. Pushed back to the point from which she originated, Kelly was forcefully reformed by the pressure of Nonexistence, before it finally devoured her.
Kelly bolted up with such intensity that she basically jumped out of bed and landed on the floor, gasping like someone had just tried to drown her. Never in her life, even with Jack, had any dream been that vivid or realistic. Had she inadvertently scratched the surface of the Self? Is this what it was capable of?!
Tyler knew this was a dream, but he still felt like he was going to spontaneously combust from the rage boiling in his veins. He was in the parking lot of the local movie theater, behind the building and in a dark corner. it was late at night, and in front of him, not two feet away were his thirteen year-old self, his naked sister, and the two men raping her while the third guy kept Tyler pinned down. Both Tyler and Elsa had been bound and gagged with duct tape so that they couldn’t fight back or call for help, but that didn’t keep them from getting beaten and roughed up.
Tyler had suffered this dream over a thousand times, but he could never get over it. Only through repeating what Jack had taught him did he maintain his cool and keep from falling apart. But this time, what was hurting him the most was the fact that he was still having the dream. He thought he had come to terms with his sister’s death, he thought the dreams would stop after Jack’s mom’s funeral, and yet he still had to endure this nightmare. He knew what was going to happen, it had been burned in his mind, yet he couldn’t look away. He watched as one of the men taking turns with his sister pulled her up onto her hands and knees, smacked her ass, and the inserted herself into her anus. She cried until tears were streaming down her face from the sodomy, having never experienced it before and received no warning. While she was anally raped, the other two men switched places, giving Tyler a new captor while the one who had been standing on top of him moved in front of his sister, pulled out his dick, and started jacking off. It didn’t take long, he showed no hesitation in ejaculating right on her face at pointblank range.
After several minutes, the man raping her pulled out with a long string of semen leading from Elsa’s bleeding asshole to the head of his cock.
“Alright, I’m done, let’s get out of here.” He said, pulling out a knife and proceeding to stab both Elsa and Tyler in the chest.
Tyler winced and put his hand on his side, feeling like the blade had just entered him for real all over again. With the young Tyler and his sister Elsa lying on the cold pavement, their blood pooling beneath them and blending together, the thugs grabbed the money they had stolen and began to run off. However, after only taking a few steps, they stopped dead in their tracks, time having completely stopped. This always happened, this was the point where his memories stopped. Whether he blacked out or just repressed it, he had no idea.
He turned back to his past self and Else and felt his jaw drop. The two of them, together in that one small space in the parking lot, was the only area in which time was still moving. Elsa, scrapping her naked body on the cold hard pavement and gushing blood, wiggled over to her younger brother. The young Tyler, on the verge of passing out, began to feel his eyes drooping. The present Tyler looked around, seeing the dream being consumed by darkness and reaching the end of his memory. No, he had to see the rest! Tyler crouched down, watching Elsa scrape her face against the ground until her lips and nose were bleeding profusely, but succeeded in pulling the duct tape off her mouth.
At that moment, everything became dark, the young Tyler having closed his eyes and ended the visual component.
“No! NOOOO!” Tyler screamed.
“Tyler…” He heard. It was his sister’s voice, Elsa’s! His eyes had closed but he hadn’t lost consciousness yet. There was more to the memory!
“Elsa!” He cried out with tears running down his face.
“I’m sorry Tyler, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry your special night got ruined. I know you’re hurt, but I also know that you’ll survive. So please, promise me, promise me that you’ll live your life happily and carefree. Don’t let this screw up your future and make you bitter. I’m not angry and I don’t want you to be. I know it’s your birthday, but please, do this for me as an early gift for mine. No matter how much you’re hurt, please, just be happy. No matter how bad things may get, always be happy. I love you Ty, and happy birthday.” He heard his sister murmur in the darkness.
Falling to his knees, Tyler sobbed uncontrollably, not even noticing as the scene returned to its original frozen moment. Looking back at the three criminals, he finally understood. This was the last time he would ever have this dream, it hadn’t come back to haunt him from the past, but to make sure he understood everything before moving onwards into the future. He had finally heard his sister’s dying message, the last chapter in the story, telling him how to live his life. He finally knew what he had to do.
“Chesed, Sephirot of loving kindness.” He said to himself.
‘So please, promise me, promise me that you’ll live your life happily and carefree. Don’t let this screw up your future and make you bitter. I’m not angry and I don’t want you to be. I know it’s your birthday, but please, do this for me as an early gift for mine. No matter how much you’re hurt, please, just be happy. No matter how bad things may get, always be happy.’ He thought to himself. He then turned to the three frozen figures, caught in mid-sprint. He knew what he had to do from now on, and he had to start with them.
“I forgive you.” He said softly.
Victoria was walking down the street of Portland, breathing into her hands to keep her fingers warm. The sidewalk was unusually packed and the sounds of traffic were practically overpowering on this day. It was freezing outside with a bitter sea breeze rushing between the buildings. About to press the button on a street lamp at an intersection, Victoria and everyone else in the city was nearly blinded by a bright light in the sky. Looking up while trying to shield her eyes, Victoria gazed in amazement at the object falling down from the heavens. It looked like the Tree of Life, but almost in the form of a neon sign that was several miles in diameter. Among them, the Malkuth and Yesod Sephirots were on fire.
Piercing layer after layer of the earth’s atmosphere, the tree rapidly heated the air around it and in Portland, so much so that buildings and people began to catch fire. Crashing into the sea, the Tree of Life created another blinding flash, similar to a nuclear explosion, and summoned a mushroom cloud of water that reached all the way up into space. Simultaneously, a molecule-shattering shockwave and deluge of fire washed over Portland. With nothing to shield herself with but her own arms, Victoria had no way to prevent her own body from being reduced to ashes.
Moving at speeds that made sound look like a mentally challenged slug, the incinerating pulse spread out in all directions, obscuring the northern Atlantic, eastern Canada, and New England. It continued to expand, quickly consuming the hemisphere, and then the whole planet. Anything standing was instantly shattered like a sugar cube and anything flammable was completely incinerated in less than a second. With fire raining down from the sky and the lakes boiling, earth looked more like hell, completely devoid of life in only minutes.
Victoria’s eyes bolted open and she looked around wildly, finding that she was floating in space. With her was the entirety of earth’s population, not just humans but all life, including animals, plants, insects, and even germs. Everyone was naked, but lucky for Victoria, she was the only conscious one, save for Kelly. The dream-Kelly was floating in front of her, wearing the same smile that Jack always wore.
“What, you turned into Kelly and now you’re visiting me? I thought you were leaving all of us alone tonight.” She said, still angry with Jack.
“Actually, for once, I’m not Jack. I’m your subconscious, which you thought was your dream-Jack the whole time. Jack did tell you that contact with the Self was the source of all philosophy.” Said Kelly.
“Well what was all that just now?” Victoria asked.
“That is your mind processing the information of two of the Sephirot and turning them into a similar image. Yesod, the link between the Self and the Superego. Malkuth, the link between the mind and the physical world. I’m here to teach you what you already know, using information that Jack has already told us, mixed with your own philosophical knowledge.
Quite simply, all this is the result of death, allowing all life on earth to return to what it once was: matter and energy. Though technically, it never really was anything but that.”
“Ok, so what does this have to do with anything?” Victoria asked impatiently.
“It is meant to show you that regardless of the species, all life is life. We are all made from the same matter and energy, the same atoms forged in the stars and the same power born from the birth of the universe. Regardless of different thoughts, opinions, ideas, beliefs, genders, ethnicities, and even species, we are all exactly the same, all part of the super organism known as Life. Think of how close you are with someone if you are able accept their blood transfusion. Now realize that everyone is made of and can exchange the same biomass, as long as the pieces are small enough.” Kelly said. She then floated forward and placed her hand on Victoria’s chest, causing her to shiver and blush.
“What are you doing?” Victoria asked, looking away.
“Showing you how close we really are.” Kelly said before leaning forward.
In the skin in her hand and the skin on Victoria’s chest, the cells began to break down into the pure molecular components. DNA chains were reformed and connected with each other, linking Victoria and the Kelly at the biological level. Victoria trembled and panted as Kelly’s hand completely merged with her chest, entering her torso cavity as a splash of primordial ooze. The flesh on Victoria’s back began to rise up, being shaped into fingers with the DNA inside turning back to the original Kelly’s.
Kelly pressed forward, inserting her whole arm into Victoria’s chest, with her flesh, blood, and bone becoming Victoria’s, before reforming from her back from Victoria’s own flesh, blood, and bone. Kelly continued to lean forward, interlacing her long smooth legs with Victoria’s before they melted together. Victoria panted and shook as she felt her breasts and pussy being touched by Kelly’s. She knew this was a dream, she knew that this wasn’t some trick by Jack or the real Kelly (that being impossible), but she had never touched another women like this. Kelly’s breasts felt so soft and warm against hers, their nipples practically fencing before merging together like water’s reflection and the person that the reflection showed as they dove in. For only a few seconds, Victoria could feel her own pussy against Kelly’s, the two pairs of lips kissing sensually and gently before they too formed.
With a soft smile on her face, Kelly closed the gap between her and Victoria and kissed her, inserting her tongue into Victoria’s mouth and filling it with her own flavor. Victoria struggled to describe the taste of another woman, it was so sweet and wet, like hot tea with extra sugar. Then, Victoria and Kelly fully joined together, their bodies becoming one large human-shaped blob of living flesh, with the DNA of the two women unwinding and reforming to a new level of compromise, joining together like grasping hands. Even their bones were basically turning into neutral biomass, as the core of their shared bodies just became a well of primordial ooze, a concoction of biological information and chemical materials.
The two women joined together completely, neither one of them could breathe, but they didn’t need to. Every cell was basically breaking down into proteins and molecules, simplifying to the point where oxygen was no longer required. And yet, each particle could be felt as if the nervous system was still fully operational. Their heads completely merged, Victoria could feel their brains became one, the DNA shuffling but the matter remaining the same. With neural networks being completely rewired and formed for the brief merging process, it was like Kelly’s mind was pouring into her own. She could feel their personalities joining, see her memories (well to be clear, the memories she was projecting onto the Kelly), and feel her own identity melting.
Finally, like one light beam passing through another, Kelly’s face began to form in the back of Victoria’s head, leaning out as their bodies began to separate one again. Her limbs broke free of Victoria’s, her breasts reforming as their torsos differentiated, and at last, Kelly stepped out of Victoria, the two women separate once again with their DNA back to their original forms. Victoria was practically going into shock, unable to process what had just happened. It felt almost like dying, her mind losing sense of what it was and unable to connect to the rest of the body, and yet, it also felt like rebirth, like her mind was re-entering the real world as it became one with Kelly’s. It was terrifying and yet euphoric.
“As Jack always said, the only real differences are the ones we create ourselves. At our core, we are all exactly the same, each a cell in the one organism known as life. You could go through that same process with an animal or plant, your biological identity being lost as it merged with that of the other organism. Watch.” Kelly said.
Around her, all of the people and organisms that had died in the first stage of the dream began to fly through space to a single point, as if drawn in by a black hole. Bodies slammed into each other and melted together, becoming a great mass of human flesh. Then, animals began to join in, further melting the biological identity of the mass as they became one with it and the entire system compromised to their DNA. The animals were followed by plant life, with trees, weeds, flowers, and grass crashing against the small moon of biomass and becoming one with it. By the time all the insects and germs had joined with it, the living sphere was the size of earth’s moon, completely anatomically neutral, the sum of all life born into one single organism.
“Should I take the rest of the life in the universe and add them? The aliens from across the galaxy? I’m sure you know now that they would become one with all other life without any other problems.”
“Oh my god.” Victoria gasped.
She could then feel herself being pulled forward, drawn to the living sphere as if by gravity. But after merging with Kelly, she no longer felt any fear. Completely calm, she let her body crash into the surface, being absorbed on contact without any sort of impact. As if sinking in acid, Victoria could feel her body being dismantled as she sank deeper and deeper into the mass, and yet it was completely painless. Instead, she felt like her body was almost growing, picking up the sensory information from the sea of biomass around her. The deeper and deeper she was pulled in, the more of her cells were pulled away. Finally, reaching the core, Victoria’s mind basically melted, being replaced with the collective hive mind of the entire organism.
She didn’t know where she ended and everything else began, she didn’t even know who she was. There was too much information floating around and through her to keep her identity. It felt… so good. It felt like all of her problems and conflicts were disappearing, being dematerialized as she became one with all life of earth. Her identity was gone, now filled only with the pleasure of being a part of everything.
In one great explosion, the moon ruptured and sprayed biomass in all directions like a colossal pain balloon. Cells were jettisoned in all directions, each one falling apart and crumbling into its atomic components. Gasping for air and feeling like her mind had just gone through a blender, Victoria was tossed aside, back in her original body. She looked around wildly, hovering in space with Kelly still with her.
“What the hell? What happened?” She asked, looking around but seeing only stars and galaxies.
“The sphere is still what it was, only in one of its simplest forms. You’re still in it, but not in the way you think. While you can’t exactly see each one individually, you are floating in a sea of atoms. Each atom around you was in the biomass moon, and around us, undetectable by your human senses, is the energy that flowed through it and all life on earth. In essence, this is what all life is: atoms and energy joined together in a specific way. Even between life and inanimate matter, there is no real difference, save for what shape it’s in. It’s just like what Jack said at his mom’s funeral. If you want, the sphere can be reformed, or you as well can be turned into pure atoms and energy.” Kelly explained. Victoria took a deep breath.
“So what now?” She asked.
“Now you have to understand. Yesod, the link between the Self and the Superego. Malkuth, the link between the mind and the physical world. You now understand through Malkuth that life and death are one in the same, that our form and shape is the only difference between our living cells and the earth beneath our feet. The mind and the physical world are one in the same. And through Yesod, you know that your Self and your Superego are your identity and how you differentiate yourself from all matter and energy around you. It is the source of your natural definition of what the difference between life and death are, it’s what let’s you feel emotions and draw meaning from the physical world.” Said Kelly.
“Alright, I understand.” Victoria said, taking another deep breath.
“Do you? Because if you do, then you won’t feel any discomfort from this…” Kelly said as she floated over to Victoria.
Her hand on the back of Victoria’s head, Kelly brought their lips together and kissed her, softly at first but then with more passion. For the first second, Victoria was numb to the feeling of the soft feminine lips against her own, but in a flurry, waves of pleasure shot through her whole body. Kelly tasted so sweet, so unique from Jack, so deliciously different. Victoria had never been with a woman before or even thought of one, but now with Kelly… she suddenly didn’t care. Sexuality no longer meant anything, preference had no worth now that she knew the truth about all life. All that mattered right now was pleasure, and feeling as good as she could while exploring the body before her.
Victoria wrapped her arms around Kelly and the two women’s bodies became interlaced, trying to create as much surface contact as possible while they both began to suck on each other’s tongues. To Victoria, it almost felt like she was kissing herself, like she was locking lips with a clone of herself that had a different appearance. All life is one in the same, the only individuals are those who want to be individuals, all bodies are fundamentally compatible at the biological level, and all that mattered was the preference of the person. After everything she had seen and experienced in this dream, Victoria couldn’t care less about the gender who she was with, as long as they were someone she cared about. A body was a body, what mattered was the mind inside of it, and even though she only felt love for Jack, this new experience of being with a woman was driving her wild with lust.
As she resigned herself to what was about to happen, she felt a surface against her back and gravity take affect on her. She was lying on an invisible floor, which immediately told her what was going to happen. Kelly ended their kiss and began to run her tongue across Victoria’s cheek and down her neck. Even if it was a dream, Victoria could not even begin to describe the feeling of a woman’s tongue on her naked body, so soft and delicate. Compared to Jack, who was as gentle and loving as she could ever want, Kelly was just so femininely sweet. Victoria gave a soft coo as she felt Kelly begin to massage her breasts with her hands, giggling and covering them with soft kisses.
As Kelly wrapped her lips around Victoria’s left nipple and began sucking it lovingly, Victoria looked down and they made eye contact, the two of them smiling. Kelly moved back and forth, licking Victoria’s breasts like they were two mounds of ice cream. She then moved down, running her tongue down Victoria’s flat belly. With a girlish laugh, Kelly began petting Victoria’s wet pussy, teasing her and licking her lips before finally coming down and flitting her tongue up the middle of the entrance. Feeling a woman touch her most precious and sensitive spot, regardless of how gently, made Victoria give a soft whine and blush. Lying on her stomach on the invisible ground with Victoria’s thighs against her ears, Kelly began sensually running her tongue through Victoria’s cunt, licking up her juices and energizing every nerve in her body.
“Oh god, that feels so good!” Victoria whimpered as she ran her fingers through Kelly’s hair. She then yelped as she felt Kelly insert her thumb into her anus.
“Come on baby, cum for me.” Kelly purred, working her thumb back and forth in Victoria’s tight asshole.
She continued eating Kelly out, sending her tongue as far up into Victoria as possible while working her lips against the entrance. Victoria’s face was bright red and it almost looked like she was crying in joy, writhing with each flick of Kelly’s tongue and squeezing her large breasts for added stimulation. As Victoria approached her first orgasm, Kelly suddenly stopped, nearly causing Victoria to beg and plead for more.
Getting up on her knees, Kelly wrapped her arms around Victoria’s legs and lifted up her lower body so that her ass was in the air. With a giggle, Kelly ran her tongue around Victoria’s asshole, teasing her and causing her to whimper from the new ticklish sensation. Reaching up, Victoria started fingering herself frantically, her hand barely an inch from Kelly’s face as she gave Victoria her first rimjob. Taking it even further, she spread open Victoria’s ass cheeks and spat down into the darkness of her asshole, nearly making her cum from the visual feeling of having Kelly’s saliva so deep inside her. Holding her willing recipient open, Kelly inserted her tongue into Victoria’s anus, using it to try and sodomize her while Victoria fingered herself into her first orgasm.
Without a doubt, it was one of the greatest climaxes of her life, with her hand basically a blur as she came so hard that pussy juice actually splashed out from her slit and soaked her face. With Victoria taken care of, Kelly moved aside and got on all fours, shaking her ass at Victoria.
“Come on baby, you know you want to…” She purred.
Like a crackhead spotting from cocaine on the floor, Victoria crawled over with her whole body twitching and buried he face in Kelly’s pussy, licking it like there was a gun to her head. Both women began to moan in happiness, Kelly moaning to fit the situation of the dream, and Victoria moaning from the delicious taste of Kelly’s snatch and the erotic realization of what she was doing. For years, Victoria had wished she could lick her own pussy, dreaming of the pleasure it would bring, but here and now, her subconscious flashed with the discovery and acceptance that what she had really wanted was to experiment with a woman. With this knowledge, she doubled her efforts, gorging herself on Kelly’s sweet cunt with undeniable aggression, as if trying to force herself inside of her.
Before long, she could feel Kelly beginning to tremble. She knew what it meant, she knew it all to well. But instead of continuing what she was doing, she stopped and moved upward, working her tongue into Kelly’s asshole while fingering her cunt. Kelly moaned in euphoria as Victoria expected and even began shaking her rear so that her young soft ass cheeks would jiggle against Victoria’s face.
“Oh god, I’m cumming!” Kelly shrieked with Victoria ass-fucking her with her tongue. After soaking Victoria’s hand with her juices, Kelly rolled onto her back.
“Come on baby, get on top of me.” She instructed.
Knowing exactly what she meant, Victoria turned around and moved on top of her in the 69-position. She lowered herself down, burying her face in Kelly’s cunt while setting her ass down on her partner’s face. Getting to both taste Kelly’s pussy while getting her own pussy licked, Victoria was in complete nirvana, unable to voice the sheer amount of sensual pleasure was experiencing with her body interlocked with Kelly’s. Her body instead spoke for her, giving her another orgasm, which Kelly matched in timing and intensity. Drinking up each other’s juices desperately, the two women waited until they had stopped shaking before separating.
“So, have you changed your mind?” Kelly panted.
“In order to discover the Self, you must realize your place in the universe and solidify your self-value. You must realize that while we are all individuals in a sense, we are all exactly the same in the grander scheme. The only true differences are the ones we create ourselves, while in reality, we are all made of the same atoms, molecules, and energy. Our DNA may be different and we may have different thoughts, but that only shows that the pieces that built us all don’t always go together in the exact same way, especially in the mind. Let’s say you took DNA out of the question and compared any two humans. Other than perhaps differences in how they are built in terms of bulk and size, the only conceivable difference between them is how their minds work via neural pathways and component affiliation. Even between genders, there is no difference.
If I wanted to, I could complete change each of you into someone else, including each other. Which woman would Tyler become and which woman would become a man, oh it makes me laugh just think about it.” Said Jack. Tyler and the two girls laughed nervously, knowing that he really could do it.
“I don’t just mean rearranging atoms either, your DNA contains all the information for humans in general. While it may require a Y chromosome from a sperm to fertilize an egg and create a male human, the DNA in every woman contains the biological information on how to create a child of the opposite gender. And that’s not all, all organisms stem from the primordial laws of anatomy, and each and every organism carries those primordial laws. Plants use photosynthesis and animals use cellular respiration, but if you had the ability, you could without a problem take the genetic information from either and turn them into the other. As long as the atoms are there and you can manipulate them, you can turn anything into anything.
However, if you go even deeper, you realize that we are actually no different from non-living matter as well. Take any object in my room, or even your own clothes, just pick something. You and whatever object you picked share the same principals of containing matter, energy, and chemical reactions. Even a cold stone has energy passing through it and molecules breaking and forming within it. You may be thinking to yourself that this is a load of bullshit (pardon my French), but you are each no different than whatever object you chose.
While the atoms, amount of energy, and number of chemical reactions may be different, all matter is the same. It all depends on how it is put together. Tell me, what is the difference between a dead body and a living one? At the atomic level, none. In terms of energy, great. Cellular condition and health? Well that depends on reason of death and how long ago death occurs. Imagine a human dying, not from any illness, accident, or even age. Just imagine life leaves him like a dead battery, and for the sake of the metaphor, his cells remain in perfect condition. Do you know the only difference between you and that body? Nothing more than the amount of energy you contain and it contains. Hell, since the cells are still intact, you could bring him back to life with a jumpstart.
In essence, the only difference between you and any dead body is the amount of energy you each have and the condition of the cells if you want to be nitpicky. That’s it. It still has matter like you, it still has chemical reactions like you, and it still has energy like you, albeit a lower amount. There is nothing different between you two, and since there is no difference between a dead body and inanimate matter, there is no real difference between life and inanimate matter.” Explained Jack.
“So how does that tie in to self-worth?” Kelly asked.
“If you see yourself as exactly like everything else, then you see yourself as an equal part of the universe. Instead of thinking that you’re a person on the only known planet that can support life, you realize that you are a conglomerate of atoms and energy, held in the gravitational pull of another conglomerate of atoms, orbiting a nuclear fusion conglomerate of atoms in the universe. You see yourself not as an organism on the dry earth, but as a drop of water, more energetic than the dry earth but made of atoms just like it.
The next time you go out and maybe glance up at the moon, I want you to realize that the difference between you and it is little more than how you are both built and how far apart you are. If your ever bored, reach out and touch the nearest object. Try to visualize the atoms in your body coming into to contact with the atoms in that object, the energy swirling around within it and you, and realize that you are nothing more a bigger copy of that with more atoms and different chemical reactions.” Said Jack.
He then paused, letting the words sink in to everyone’s mind. Mulling over everything he had told them, Victoria, Tyler, and Kelly looked around the room and the floor, doing what he said and visualizing the atoms and energy. In their eyes, he could see that they knew he was right. He could see that they were realizing how matter and energy were the only changes.
“Once you realize this, then you will see pain in a whole new way. You will realize that what you feel as pain is nothing more than chemical reactions in your body, reacting to other chemical reactions or physical collisions. At which point, the value and meaning of that pain becomes up to you. Imagine someone plays a prank on you, humiliates you in front of the whole school with everyone pointing and laughing at you. Unless their prank involved physically harming you, your only pain comes from the value you place on the prankster’s intentions and the laughing of everyone. They cannot force this pain on it, you can only choose to let it happen. If you can see beyond the social meaning implied in the ramifications of that prank, if you can see the insignificance of something as insipid as the opinions of the people laughing at you, and if you can look at yourself and realize that since you are not hurt, there is no reason to be upset, then you realize that you have achieved complete self-reliance.
Victoria, Kelly, I told this story to Tyler, I think this will help you understand what I am saying. Back in my old school, there was a girl I knew, one who I had taught to discover the Self. Unfortunately, she became the victim of a sexual assault. However, in no way did it affect her because she didn’t let it affect her. To understand why, let’s take a look at the reasons of why sexual assault normally hurts people.
1. There is the physical damage. She had her virginity taken away, but to her, it did not matter, because that didn’t mean she couldn’t still know the feeling of making love to someone for the first time in her life. Any other scars would inevitably heal.
2. There is the loss of power, the loss of the ability to choose who touches you in that way, when a woman is normally very selective in who she allows to establish that bond. She said that she didn’t mind, because nothing he could do could hurt her mind, only her body, and I’ve already explained the meaning of that. That man could penetrate and violate her body, but no one could penetrate or violate her mind, and that is the one place where she would always have control and the only place she needed control.
3. The issue of sex itself. Let’s face it, we learn more from the faceless media and society about sex than from our parents when they give us “the talk”. But ladies, try to imagine that you knew nothing about sex, rape, or sexuality. You’re basically one of those feral children that you hear about in India. Now imagine that a stranger sexually assaults you. You have no idea what is so you don’t fight back, so he in turn isn’t rough or cruel. Do you think that you would feel the same pain and fear as a woman who has grown up in modern society? At most, you would be wondering what the hell he was doing and what that sensation was.
Before you start thinking I’m full of shit, you can see this affect in animals. Have you ever seen a female dog freak out and have a psychological break-down if she get’s mounted by a strange dog in the park? It knows nothing about what it means to be raped, only of its instincts to mate and reproduce. You’ll see this throughout the animal kingdom, females are really only picky about finding the best member of the opposite gender to give it the healthiest offspring. The rest of the time, a female will basically just stand there and smell the roses, barely even registering it.
If you can see your body in an instrumental way and look at intercourse in the same way an animal does, then you see that the pain of sexual assault comes from the victim’s perception of the act. My friend was able to see it as some damage to her body, nothing more. Though whenever I have this conversation, I like to remind who I’m talking to that I am strongly against sexual assault and do not make light of the damage it can cause.” He elaborated.
Victoria and Kelly were both silent, incorporating what he had said into their minds. Hearing it, they almost felt safe, like Jack had just given them a special defense against sexual assault should they ever become a victim. They almost felt like should such a thing ever happen to them, they would be able to retain control and would have a safety net, protecting them from the worst aspects of the assault.
“If you can learn to see the world from this view, then you can live a life without anger or grudges. You see that a materialistic life means nothing since the value of objects come from you, and if you can look beyond pain and no longer be negatively affected by others, then you can learn to forgive in just about any situation. You can forgive someone who burns down your house, since you don’t need material possessions. You can forgive someone who kills a member of your family, since you know that death is only an illusion. You can forgive someone who hurts or robs you, because you know that you will recover and that you will get more money if you really need it.
If you can learn to forgive and become immune to the negatives, then you’ll have nothing left but positives. You’ll help everyone because you’ll have no fear of being hurt and you won’t care about the cost. When that terrorist shot me, I held no ill will. I forgave him and worked to help him, and you will with whomever you meet. Happiness comes from the Self, but it also comes from people, so since you have no fear of cost or betrayal and see only the light, your greatest joy becomes making other people happy. You see that since you don’t have to live in a negative world, no one else should have to.
The next time you are driving through the rain and see someone with a flat tire, I hope you’ll stop and help them. So what if it’s raining? You’re body will tell you that it’s wet and probably cold, but that only matters if you mind it. So what if the person you’re helping isn’t very likeable. Maybe your kind act will help them become a better person. What if you are late for an appointment or date? You can always reschedule and only a person who is truly important will understand and won’t mind if you’re late. You’ve learned how to not be unhappy, so do whatever you can to make sure that others aren’t unhappy in your place.
Once you learn how to always be happy, you can do things for others that you didn’t like before and help them become happy. You can work down in a soup kitchen and help others, while being as happy and carefree as if you were at home doing what you would normally doing. I know today I’ve sounded like someone who devalues the human experience, but believe me, I believe the one and only true positive in this universe is the ability to be happy.” Jack said with a cheerful grin.
Everyone smiled at his words, feeling a warmth in their hearts. Right then and there, they knew they would never again be miserable. As long as they had a choice and the knowledge Jack had blessed them with, they could always be happy.
“Now I’m going to cover one more subject and then we’ll have to call it a day. The subject I want to go over ties in with the original topic of self-value, as it deals with the final equalizer in this reality, the equalizer that dictates what reality is: time. I’ve gone over this with Tyler, but you two need to hear it. Everything in the universe is predetermined by time, with there being one and only one reality. Have you ever been in a situation, where later you wish you had made a different decision or chose a different act? Have you ever blamed yourself for not doing something you were capable of?
In truth, there is no point in being angry with yourself, because what you did was unavoidable. Every event in reality is destined; it is the one and only path that time can take. Imagine you are walking down the street, visualize it. Every step you take has already been preordained by time, including the next one. You raise your foot, lean forward, and are about to touch back down. At this moment, an unlimited number of variables are switching to the points required for your next step. Temperature, air density, stamina, sense of balance, distractions, the ground itself… all are parts of the equation for this step, and every one is exact and unmovable.
Now imagine the step and where you touch down, its exact point on the sidewalk. According to the variables, there was no other place you could have landed. All the variables had lined up for you to step in that exact geographical spot, not a single micrometer out of place. Every single variable guaranteed it at that instant, it’s not like all the variables said your foot would land there but the variable for your sense of direction said you would momentarily lose balance and step an inch short. Every variable lines up exactly to create one single reality without any other possibilities.
Everything you do, think, feel, and say has been predetermined by fate. This conversation was guaranteed, the way you are sitting was guaranteed, the way you are breathing while you listen to me was guaranteed, and every decision you make about it is guaranteed as well. However, like I said, every single variable has to line up, and this includes decision-making. Every event happens because the variables allow that one path of time to exist, and like it, every decision you make is only possible because you have the ability to make it.
Imagine you have to make a very important decision, one which requires you know all the facts and understand the consequences of your choice. That said, time cannot make you give a well-informed decision without knowing the facts, understanding the consequences, and being capable of making that decision. No event can take place without the setting just right, and no decision can be made unless you have the ability to make a decision. Just as a worst case scenario cannot happen without the setting supporting it, you cannot make a smart choice unless you yourself are smart enough to make it. Even if your decision is just a guess, you are only able to make that guess because you have the mental prowess required to make it.
And with that, we’ll call it a day. Now just like yesterday, your assignment is to mull over everything I’ve told you and incorporate it into your own minds. This information is useless unless you choose to let it impact you. Like they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” Jack said.
Feeling like their minds were about to burst from the massive psychological injection, Victoria, Tyler and Kelly all gave sighs of relief and joy while they stood up and stretched.
“By the way Jack, I have football practice tomorrow. Is it ok if I come later for tomorrow’s lesson?” Tyler asked.
“Of course, have fun!” Jack said with his usual carefree smile.
“I guess that means me, Kelly, and Jack will be spending some quality time together.” Victoria said, looking right into Kelly’s eyes with the smallest of smiles. Kelly’s eyes widened, almost as a nonverbal way to question if Victoria meant what she thought she meant, and with a tiny nod, she confirmed it and Kelly lit up like a Christmas tree.
It was a warm morning, at least slightly, warm enough to turn the would-be snow storm into a torrential downpour. Wet, freezing, and probably guaranteeing a cold, Tyler twisted the bolts of his spare tire onto the axle of the motorist’s truck, since she didn’t have one. He was more than twenty minutes late for class and uncomfortable in his wet clothes, but he didn’t mind in the slightest. His body could handle it, one late class wouldn’t kill him, and he could always just get another spare. Humming the song that had been playing on his alarm clock radio, he tightened all the bolts and then put his jack and tire iron back into the cab of his truck.
“I borrow my husband’s truck one time and I pop a tire, just my luck. I can’t thank you enough, please, take this for the tire. It’s the least I can do.” The woman said, clutching an umbrella and holding out all the money from her wallet.
“Don’t worry about it, consider it a freebie.” Tyler replied.
“Please, I can’t get a tire donated and changed in the rain by someone without giving them something. Please let me make up to you.” She insisted.
“If you want to make it up to me, don’t let this ruin your day.” He said cheerfully before climbing back into his truck and driving off without a care in the world.
“Watch it whore!” A student said as Kelly bumped into him in the hall and knocked his phone out of his hand.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” She said, picking it up for him. Noting the scratch on the screen, the punk uttered a loud curse.
“Goddamn it, shouldn’t you be off sucking from freshman dick?” He accused. Instead of feeling anger or shame, Kelly just smiled.
“I don’t do that anymore. Sorry about the phone.” She said.
Victoria yelped as the cup of hot coffee splashed across her chest and soaked her favorite blouse, turning the radiant sky blue into sickly brownish-purple. It took her everyone in the cafeteria only a second to conclude that the huge stain would never come out.
“Oh Jesus, I’m so sorry Victoria!” Her friend exclaimed.
“Relax, no harm done.” Victoria said.
“Oh come on, everyone knows this shirt is your favorite.” She said sheepishly.
“Well then, I guess I’ll just have to find a new favorite. Here, sorry about the coffee.” Victoria said with a smile while handing her friend a few dollars to get another drink. In the corner, sitting at his usual table, Jack looked up over his book of poetry and smiled with pride.
“Ok, so just to make sure, this is a one-time thing.” Victoria established, standing with Kelly and Jack in his room, all three nervous.
“Agreed.” Jack and Kelly said.
“And this is YOUR one time, no more women after this but me.” Victoria said, pointing at Jack.
“Yes dear.” He said sarcastically.
“Have you ever been with a women?” Kelly asked.
“No, but I’m always open to new things. You?”
“Plenty of times. Don’t worry, it’s fun.” She said with a smile.
“Alright, here goes nothing.” Victoria said, walking over and planting a kiss on Kelly.
Jack watched with a raised eyebrow and an erect dick as the two women stood like statues, their lips pressed together and unmoving. After several seconds, they separated, stared into each other’s eyes, and started kissing again, this time with more passion and tongue. Immediately, they began feeling each other up and panting heavily as they kissed over and over again, sucking on each other’s tongues while fireworks went off in their heads. For Victoria, the feeling, taste, and acknowledgment of being with another woman was even greater than in her dream, since this Kelly was real, and for Kelly, the same unique kinky arousal experienced when kissing another girl was flaring back up.
Jack took a step forward and wrapped his arms around them, reminding them that he was still there. Victoria ended her kiss with Kelly and then began kissing Jack while the former began undressing. Once Kelly was naked, she pressed herself against Victoria and took her place kissing Jack, letting Victoria get undressed. Pressing herself against Jack and Kelly, Victoria joined in and added her lips to the fray. The three-way kiss ended after several seconds and the two women climbed up onto Jack’s fold-out bed. While Jack undressed, Victoria and Kelly explored each other’s bodies with their hands, giggling and relishing the softness of each other’s skin.
All three now completely nude, Jack climbed onto the bed with them, immediately moving over to Victoria. Setting his head between her legs, he began to hungrily lick her cunt, slurping up the juices already dripping from between her legs. While Jack ate out Victoria, Kelly got on top of her, straddling her face. Without any hesitation or sign of discomfort, Victoria sent her tongue up into Kelly while working her lips against the entrance, causing the young woman to begin whimpering in bliss. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had gone down on her, and now that she was a virgin with an untrained body, every lick from Victoria’s tongue was as potent as during her first time. For Victoria, just the fact that she was having her face sat on by another woman was practically orgasmic. She felt so kinky, so naughty, and yet she wanted more.
Grabbing Kelly’s hips, she moved her forward on her face. Knowing what Victoria was doing, Kelly smiled and got up on her hands and knees in a crabwalk with Victoria’s face kept buried in her young tight ass.
“Damn, you’re kinkier than I thought!” Kelly said, feeling Victoria’s tongue penetrating her asshole like a power drill.
With Victoria now wet and loose, Jack got up and brought himself up to her level. Without his hands, he pushed his manhood deep into her slit and began fucking her. With short fast strokes, he worked himself through her cunt with only his lower body, keeping his upper body stationary so that he could lick Kelly’s sweet snatch. With a tongue in her ass and a tongue in her cunt, Kelly was whining in happiness, desperate and wishing for Jack to start fucking her. Victoria, feeling Jack’s manhood slam her interior like a machine while she licked every corner of Kelly’s tight asshole, was on cloud nine and at the peak of her euphoric potential. But like all good things, the position had to change.
After a minute of fucking Victoria, Jack finally sat back up and pulled out of her. Quick on the scene, Kelly basically pounced on him and hungrily took his cock in her mouth, sucking it clean of Victoria’s pussy juice and relishing the feeling of his member on her tongue.
“I’m ready Jack, you gave me my virginity, so you should be the one to take it.” She murmured, laying back and spreading her legs.
With a kind smile, Jack climbed on top of her and Victoria backed off, patiently letting Kelly have her turn. With Victoria running her tongue through his mouth, Jack slowly entered her, spreading the lips of her pussy with his cock and moving in centimeter by centimeter. Even though she had been fucked hundreds of times, the feeling of penetration was completely new to Kelly’s healed body, and she unknowingly dug her nails into Jack’s back as he reached her hymen. Without ending their kiss, Kelly nodded and Jack obeyed, pushing all the way in and deflowering her.
With formerly virgin blood streaming from her torn hymen for the second time in her life, Kelly moaned happily and Jack worked up to his usual rhythm, quickly forcing her to spread her legs and raise them as he pumped her snatch like a hammering piston. Victoria watched the two of them while chewing on her lip and working her fingers between her legs, wishing she could have her turn again. By now, Kelly’s feet were up in the air and Jack was working her with all of his strength, waiting for her to give that key moan.
Finally hearing it, Jack gave ten more powerful thrusts, delivering her to her first orgasm. With Kelly as limp as a ragdoll, Jack sat up to catch his breath. Quickly, Victoria climbed up onto Kelly to get her turn, shaking her ass at Jack and grinning.
“Come on stud, put it in me. Right here.” She said, spreading her ass cheeks.
Smiling at the honor, Jack leaned forward and first ran kisses across her taut shapely rear, teasing her and using the opportunity to finish catching his breath. Soon ready, Jack got up on his knees and pressed the head of his cock against her tight asshole. Leaning forward, he slowly began to enter her, causing Victoria to wince and whine at the strange and almost painful sensation. Moving slowly to spare her as much discomfort as possible, Jack slowly moved forward, millimeter by millimeter. With Jack working himself inside her and stretching her virgin asshole, Victoria was holding onto Kelly tightly for support and Kelly was returning the embrace. With time and patience, Jack eventually worked his entire cock into her and waited for Victoria to stop trembling.
“How are you doing champ?” Kelly asked beneath her while stroking her hair.
“I’m ok.” Victoria said softly.
“How does it feel?” Jack asked while rubbing her shoulders. She looked back at him with a tender smile.
“Fantastic.” She whispered.
“I’m glad. Ok, I’m going to start pulling out. If it starts to hurt, tell me and I’ll stop.” He said, Victoria answering with a simple nod.
Holding onto Victoria’s hips, Jack slowly retracted his phallus, pulling out of her as gently as possible. Feeling the huge mass being removed like a knife from her gut, Victoria gagged and whimpered with Kelly talking her through it. Once he was back far enough so that only the head was inside her, Jack began to push himself back in, this time getting a lot less resistance in terms of tightness and Victoria’s reaction. Time passed, and after a few cycles through her, Jack was finally able to stop slowly entering and retracting and start fucking her.
Leaning forward on his hands, Jack began thrusting into her with his speed slowly building. Quickly becoming accustomed to the feeling, Victoria’s pain was soon replaced with ecstasy. After a couple minutes, she was giving soft moans of pleasure which rose in volume as Jack’s speed increased. Beneath the two of them, Kelly was focusing less on the physical sensations and more on her awareness of what was going on. Knowing that a sexy young woman had her naked body pressed against her own was even better than the sensation itself, and that was really saying something, as the feeling of Victoria’s warm soft breasts against her own was practically orgasmic. But above all, the knowledge that the girl on top of her was getting sodomized for the first time made it incredibly kinky. Every time Victoria moved from one of Jack’s thrusts, it charged up Kelly’s horniness and made her feel like she was getting ass-fucked as well. With no other stimulation, she just focused on the feeling of Victoria’s warm, soft, naked body interlaced with her own and erotic knowledge of Victoria’s first anal pounding.
By now, Jack was moving at top speed, slamming Victoria’s loosened anus with almost brutal power. To Victoria, the feeling of being both sodomized by the man she loved and held by her naked friend was almost too much to describe in terms of the pleasure they were generating. The bed beneath them was jumping on its foundations and creaking like a house on the verge of collapse as Jack hammered Victoria’s asshole like a mallet driving a stake into the ground.
“Oh god, I’m cumming!” Victoria moaned as her body drowned in its own deluge of happiness.
“I need a break.” Jack panted as he pulled out of her.
“Don’t worry, just lay back and I’ll take care of everything.” Kelly said coyly.
Doing as he was told, Jack lay down on the bed and Kelly moved onto his lap. With lots of courage and years of experience, she grasped his dick and pressed it against her asshole, slowly lowering herself onto it and moaning as it entered her for the “second” first time. Victoria watched her with almost a mix of amazement and adoration, simply impressed with how well she was taking it and completely doing so on her own. Once Jack’s manhood was completely inside her, she began to rock back and forth on him, using the changing angle to control how deep inside her he was. Damn, she really knew what she was doing!
Bouncing on Jack’s cock, Kelly suddenly yelped in surprise as Victoria came up behind her, giggling coyly as she used one hand to fondle Kelly’s modest B-cup breasts and used her other hand to finger her. She even upped the ante by running kisses up Kelly’s neck. With the multi-directional sources of pleasure, it only took Kelly only a minute to have a gushing orgasm. With her ass sore, she dismounted Jack and Victoria quickly went down on him, hungrily sucking his cock and cleaning it of Kelly’s juices. Straddling his lap, she worked his cock into her pussy and began riding him while Kelly sat on his face, letting him gorge himself on her slit and asshole. While the women rode him, they both leaned forward and started kissing and touching each other, even teasing each other by pulling on each other’s nipples.
Once Jack had regained his strength, they switched again, this time with Jack mounting Kelly in the doggy-style position and fucking her pussy while Kelly went down on Victoria, eating her out while she massaged her breasts. Now that they had all gotten accustomed to what they were doing, they began switching more frequently. Taking every position they could, Jack fucked Victoria and Kelly like and animal, while the two women found themselves incapable of going long without pawing at or licking each other. Over and over again Jack would enter one of the women, fuck her with all of this strength, pull out and receive a quick blowjob, then enter the other woman all over again in a different position.
After an unknown amount of time, the three teens were on the bed, Jack lying on his back with Victoria and Kelly sucking him off, taking turns or working simultaneously, often with their lips and tongues stopping to mingle with each other.
“Girls, I can’t hold it back any longer. I’m going to cum.” Jack said softly, completely exhausted.
At his words, both women grabbed his cock and began stroking it quickly, jerking him off with their faces right above it, pressed together with their mouths open. In a huge spraying mess, Jack fired every drop of semen he had like a cum volcano, covering both women’s faces and more than filling their mouths. The two women then finished by licking the semen off each other’s faces and cum-swapping it back and forth, followed by a long French kiss in which they swallowed it all and licked the remains out of each other’s mouths.
Completely exhausted, the three teens laid side by side, once again out of breath.
“You know, I doubt I’ll be able to keep the one-time-only rule.” Victoria said.
“Well I certainly wouldn’t blame you, that was easily the greatest sex I’ve ever had.” Murmured Kelly.
“That truly was very enjoyable.” Jack said happily. At the sound of approaching footsteps, they all looked up as the door opened.
“Hey Jack, hope I’m not to late. Is there still time to…” Tyler said, stepping inside and trailing off inside them.
Everyone was dead silent, Tyler staring at the three naked teens the huge wet mess that they had turned the bed into and Jack, Victoria, and Kelly staring at Tyler and wondering what he was going to say. Finally, Tyler burst into uncontrollable laughter, cackling to the point where he had to hold onto his sides and looked like he was about to fall over.
“Jesus Christ, you’ve been fucking the two of them?! We really are a cult!” He laughed.
It took a while for Tyler to get all the laughs out of him and even longer before he, Victoria, or Kelly could look each other in the eyes. Regardless, they eventually moved on and returned to the lesson.
“Now, since we’re short on time, this lesson is going to be short. Tomorrow, we’ll go over everything and won’t stop until you all discover your Selves. So far, we have mostly talked about humans and their roles in the universe, the universe itself, and perceptions of pain. Now, we continue from yesterday and delve into human relationships and interactions. For this, we will return to the Tree of Life and focus on the Chokhmah Sephirot, the Binah Sephirot, and Da’at Sephirot. As you may recall, Chokhmah is the power of intuitive wisdom and the ability to draw meaning from the abstract and form a solid truth, Binah is the ability to process and learn from what we encounter and form connections between subjects, and Da’at is the balance between them, the ability to understand meaning and create our own.
These three work in human interaction and help unlock the enigmatic quagmire known as the minds of others. In order to understand yourself, you must understand others, and vice versa. The original requirement for understanding is empathy, defined as the ability to feel others’ pain. Through empathy, you can see different paths in life by using other people as test subjects. It lets you see the alternatives to yourself, the paths not taken. By knowing others, you gain a point of reference as to knowing yourself.
Now, if you can gain a mastery of empathy, then you gain the ability to look past almost all conflict. Just about every argument or fight is drawn from a misunderstanding, they are the results of two parties not truly knowing each other. However, if you learn to put yourself entirely in someone else’s shoes, then you become incapable of misunderstanding. I don’t just mean imagining yourself living that person’s life with their problems and opportunities, but being able to replicate their very thought process. If you can see the world exactly as they do, then you gain the ability to solve any problem. You can create the perfect compromise, you know who is right and who is wrong without relying on stereotypes and assumptions, and you know exactly how to defuse them.
When I talked to that terrorist, I put myself in his situation and mindset exactly, and with that information, I knew just what to say to calm him down.
By mastering empathy, you gain the gift of omnipotence. When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and look at the world exactly as they do, then you can do so with everyone, and can therefor see the entire world and understand all problems. You understand all social dynamics and are able to break down the barriers between your mind and the minds of everyone else. However, it’s not quite that easy. It requires a great deal of skill in being able to read other people and draw forth information from what you see in them. But if you can understand how your brain works, then you can understand how their brains work, and if you can understand how their brains work, then you can understand how your brain works.”
“So basically the Self can be used to replicate the minds of others?” Tyler asked.
“Well I wouldn’t quite say it like that. It’s more like it allows you to connect with others and become one with all of mankind, and from that, you gain complete understanding of who you are. Think of other people as like maps of your brain, each one inaccurate in some way. However, if you take all those maps and figure out which parts are true, then you understand the build of your subconscious. Now, I believe we should call this a day.
Tomorrow, you will all reach the final step and discover your Selves, I promise.” Said Jack.
Jack’s apostles lay in their beds, unable to fall asleep. Their minds were all buzzing, wondering what it would feel like when they discovered their Selves, as well as wondering if it was really going to happen. Jack had guaranteed that they would all succeed tomorrow, but was it really possible for people to have such a drastic metamorphosis in just twenty days? And on Friday, they would get the answers that they had all been waiting for…
“Very good Kelly, it seems my words did have a strong effect.” Jack said with Kelly having just finished retelling her dream on the night of their first lesson. He had asked all three of his students to do so, so help share their knowledge with each other.
“Now before we begin the awakening process, there are two more branches of the Tree of Life we must go over; Netzach and Hod, the most important Sephirots in discovering the Self. These two Sephirots are tightly linked, Netzach dealing with action in the desire to find the Self and Hod with submission in the face of nature. In other words, they are your individuality vs. your self-worth. With Netzach, you are a completely unique person, a living being, a human with his or her own thoughts, ideals, and beliefs. With Hod, it all comes back to how everything is the same, including life and inanimate matter. In essence, Netzach allows you to act while harnessing the Self, and Hod provides the universal view that keeps your mind wide open without any biases or limitations. By devaluing yourself, you become part of a larger and larger group, up until the point where you realize that you are nothing more than matter and energy, which in turn lets you understand the universe.
You must remember these two Sephirots when the process begins: Netzach to keep you from becoming completely submissive to the universe and basically turning into a vegetable, and Hod to remember your place in the universe, remain humble, and know that all is one and one is all. Now for this to work, I need you all to sit as comfortably as possible. Find a position that you can maintain up to the point where you feel like you’ll fall asleep. Close your eyes and try to visualize what I say while remembering everything I have taught you.” Jack said. Victoria, Tyler, and Kelly all did as they were told, getting as comfortable as they could be while sitting on the ground and closing their eyes. When Jack spoke again, he did so softly.
“For now, focus on your breathing and your heart rate. Keep your mind pinned on each breath passing through your lungs. In and out, in and out. Direct your attention to the air moving through your body. In and out, in and out.” He said, waiting for a minute for their brains to all reach a calmed state.
“Imagine yourself sitting on this floor, feel the carpet beneath you, and below that, the hard wood floors. Slowly, you begin to sink into them, the floor beneath you is melting. Further and further you are lowered, the floor basically turning into a net that is now snapping one strand at a time. Finally, the floor breaks, and you fall into darkness. Deeper and deeper you fall, no ground beneath you but no fear in your mind, you simply fall, fall until you lose all track of time.
Victoria was hovering above the earth, naked and completely at peace, sitting in the lotus position. Above her, a diagram of the Tree of Life appeared, the size of a lake. From each Sephirot, tendrils of wood began to extend out and merge together, turning into a literal tree of truly gargantuan proportions but barren branches. Becoming as large as the state of California with the diagram glowing in the side of the trunk, the tree reached down with its roots and began to wrap around the earth. Billions upon trillions of times, the roots separated and spread out, each one plugging into an organism on the planet. Piercing the atmosphere and cloud cover, each root came down and injected itself straight into every living thing like a syringe, from the largest whales to the smallest bacteria. The roots then expanded, with a layer of bark covering each organism and cocooning them as they merged with it.
As the organisms were absorbed, the tree continued to grow in size with its roots even digging into the ground. On the branches, leaves began to appear, one for every organism absorbed. Riddling the planet with more and more roots, the tree continued to grow, enlarging to the point where the tree was like someone’s forearm and the earth was their fist, now held together only through the roots of the trees. The tree completed, Victoria began to float backwards, coming into contact with the tree, specifically in the Da’at Sephirot. But instead of being completely consumed, she only partially merged with it, with the whole front of her body completely exposed.
Like Victoria, the tree began to float backwards through space. As it zoomed through the null void like rogue meteor, Victoria basked in the sea of minds churning within the tree. All the identities and individualities had been melted down like scrap metal, but there was still so much passion within it. Emotions, instincts, and desires rose up in foamy tidal waves, with all the life of earth having basically turned into one colossal mind. In the center of this sea and almost controlling it was Victoria, taking in incomprehensible amounts of information from all the organisms that the tree had absorbed. But there were more than the life forms that had just been on earth at that time, it felt like every organism in the history of earth, even the history the universe, was now swirling within the Tree of Life.
For several billions of years, the tree flew through space, with Victoria spending the entire time bathing in the waterfall of knowledge from all the organisms. As the tree flew, it picked up more material and continued to grow in size. Now instead of consuming organisms, it was consuming asteroids, planets, stars, black holes, entire nebulae, and even galaxies, with all the information and history of each and every piece of matter passing through Victoria’s mind like the entirety of Niagara Falls being forced through a garden hose.
She could see it all, every planet’s formation, every star’s life and death, and every black hole’s birth. She could see every rock colliding, every wisp of gas or dust, every geographical feature on the endless number of barren planets being formed. And yet, while the tree was absorbing everything, it didn’t really feel like the matter was being devoured in any sort of way. It felt more like the tree was a metaphysical medium, binding all matter and energy together like a protein bonding atoms into molecules.
Finally, the tree reached its destination, the very center of the universe and origin point of the Big Bang. The very heart of the universe was a colossal black hole, several times larger than even the largest galaxy, and surrounded by a spinning disk of matter that took up half of the universe’s surface area alone. Passing through wave after wave of matter, the tree approached the black hole while absorbing everything around it and growing in size.
Reaching the event horizon, the tree was practically drowned in a sea of light, created by every photon in the area being drawn in to the black hole. Like a swimmer diving into water, the Tree of Life entered the heart of the universe. Penetrating the mass, all the information and history that had taken place around every single atom and light particle that the black hole consumed was channeled through Victoria’s mind. Immediately upon the tree’s insertion, roots and branches began to appear on the surface of the black hole, and in a matter of seconds, the entire mass was consumed and became part of the tree. Now the largest thing in the universe, the tree began branching out once again, sending wooden tentacles out in all directions, each tendril grabbing and binding with a single atom. The atoms were absorbed, as well as their information.
The roots continued to spread out, exceeding the speed of the expanding universe itself. They consumed every single atom in space and drank up all the energy, but as they reached the edge of the universe, something happened. The universe stopped expanding, and instead, began to contract like a deflating balloon. As the universe closed in on itself, all the branches and roots were pushed back, causing the tree to curl up like a dead spider. Quickly, the universe became so small that the Tree of Life was compacted as densely as water, without a single nanometer of open space. Yet the universe kept on shrinking, crushing the mass of the Tree of Life itself and condensing it.
Smaller and smaller, the Tree of Life was crushed from all sides like a dying star turning into a black hole. Quickly, the atomic pressure and the temperature skyrocketed, until finally, the Tree of Life had been compacted into a single speck, as hot, dense, and small as the primordial particle that the universe was born from.
In a radiant light that surpassed all human understanding, the particle exploded into the second Big Bang, recreating the universe in a flood of energy and molten quarks.
Victoria’s eyes bolted open and she took the deepest breath of her live. She felt like every cell in her body was on fire, and yet she felt no pain. Looking down at her hands, she almost thought that she had gone blind, as it looked like her hands and the background behind them had completely merged together. But in reality, she was seeing her hands in a completely new way. She wasn’t seeing them as parts of her body, but as masses of atoms, just like the floor beneath her. It was almost like they were camouflaged.
Barely able to think straight, Victoria glanced over at Tyler and Kelly, both in the same state as her and looking like they were about have a seizure. Victoria looked at her hands again, trying to describe how she felt. She didn’t feel smarter exactly, but she felt… more sensitive, in terms of the outside world. She felt like she could feel the entire universe and every atom around her, and compared to that, everything in her life was well beyond insignificant.
They all then turned to Jack, who had a proud smile on his face.
“Congratulations, each of you has found your Self.” He beamed.
Jack and Victoria were lying in bed, staring into each other’s eyes after having just made love.
“How do you feel?” Jack asked while stroking her hair.
“I feel… I feel so good that I can’t even describe it. I never thought it was possible to be this happy. I feel invincible, like nothing can hurt me or make me lose my smile. I just see everything in a positive way, it’s like being in a fantasy world.”
“Now you know why I’m always smiling.” Jack said.
“I can’t even begin to say how much I love you and how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for me. We’ve been together for less than three weeks, yet you’ve completely reshaped my world in ways that no one else could. Compared to what I have now, my previously life could barely even be called a life. I feel like I’m in heaven and I can see the entire universe.” She murmured happily.
“I’m glad, your happiness is the light of my life.” Jack said. Victoria’s smile slowly faded and she bit her lip.
“Jack, am I going to like the answers you’ll give me tomorrow?” She asked.
“That is up to you. I’ve given the three of you the exact time and place to meet me and I will answer all of your questions. How you feel about them is all your jurisdiction.” He said.
10:33 AM, December 21st, 2012
Victoria, Tyler, and Kelly hurried across the school campus. They were headed to the intersection next to the school, where Jack had told them to meet him at exactly 10:35. All four teenagers had pretended to go to the bathroom and left school, but Jack had gone early. Even after discovering their Selves, Jack’s students were nervous, wondering what he would tell them.
They found him at the street corner, waiting for them with an excited smile.
“Ah good, you’re here just in time.” He said.
“So now you’ll answer our questions?” Tyler asked.
“In just a minute. Here, follow me.” Jack said, walking out into the intersection with cars honking loudly at his sudden carefree stride into the center of danger.
“Jack, what are you doing?!” Victoria yelled as cars continued to pass by, honking at him.
“If you want your answers, you’ll have to stand here with me.” Jack said with his normal grin. Drawing up their courage, Victoria, Tyler, and Kelly followed him into the street. All cars came to a screeching halt and the morning was hammered with the blaring of horns, but Jack remained still.
“Jack…” Tyler began.
“Wait for it.” Jack said.
“Get the fuck out of the road!” One of the drivers shouted.
“Jack…” Kelly began.
“Wait for it.” Jack insisted.
“What are you, retarded? Get out of the fucking road!” The driver shouted, climbing out of his car.
“Jack!” Victoria screamed.
“And here we go.” Said Jack as the time reach 10:37.
In a bright flash, a line appeared in front of Jack, jagged and containing mass on all three axes. It was a crack, a crack in reality itself. Streaming from this crack came visible energy, forming a shed-sized sphere of light that looked like electrified neon. Immediately, gusts of wind began firing off from the sphere while the sky above went from blue to green and purple. Seeing what was going on, all of the drivers who had been honking their horns either tried to turn around or just climbed out of their cars and ran for their lives.
“What the hell is going on?!” Tyler shouted, trying to shield his eyes from the wind. Wearing his usual smile, Jack turned to the three of them.
“This is what was predicted by the Mayans, Hope Indians, and countless other indigenous groups and cultures throughout the history of your world. It is the beginning of the new celestial year, which is the equivalent of 5125.36 of your earth years.”
“So it’s the end of the world?!” Kelly yelled.
“Not really. The Mayan Calendar -as you call it- is just like any other calendar, resetting for the next year after its completion. However, what matters is what happens on this day and the opportunity it creates. Every celestial year, these cracks open up in our universe, not as a sign of damage or gradual deterioration, but as a sign of its imperfections. This universe is not what it was meant to be, it disobeyed time, the one and only force which can do that. This universe is flawed and filled with inferior matter and energy, gathered together into random clumps by gravity.” He explained.
“What are you talking about?” Victoria asked, stepping forward.
“There shouldn’t be any matter in this universe, all regular matter should have been annihilated by the equal amount of antimatter that was supposed to appear in the Big Bang. Not only that, but there certainly isn’t supposed to be any dark matter clogging up space. Quite simply, this universe is like a deformed newborn, imperfect compared to the rest of universes and dimensions within creation. These imperfections are ruining the harmony of existence and weighing down the other universes like a section of dead brain matter crippling the rest of the brain.
Cracks like this can be found across the universe, but they only appear at the beginning of a celestial cycle. So do you know what the smoking gun is? Life. Every spot in the universe that contains one of these cracks has a planet sharing the same space, a planet with life. Suffice to say, I lied a little bit about there being no difference between life and inanimate matter. The truth is that life is powered by a very unique form of energy, different from the energy that powers all other chemical reactions, and that energy leaks into this dimension through the cracks.”
“Who are you?” Victoria asked desperately. Hearing the question actually made Jack give a small laugh.
“There is no human word for what I am. You would be right if you said I was God, if I was an angel, and if I was an alien. The best definition I could give is that I am the soul of this universe and the manifestation of all life. I guess you could say that I am the Tree of Life and the essence of this dimension.”
“But you said you were human!”
“Yes, as in I took the form of a human when I arrived here. I was purposefully born seventeen years ago in this town because of the proximity to the crack. It was the easiest way to stay around it for when this day finally arrived. I came here, took the form of a fertilized embryo in my mother’s womb, and she gave birth to me, not knowing that I had chosen to be born. My powers are the result of my unnatural existence. Quite simply, I am an abomination brought for by the birth of this imperfect universe. I am not supposed to exist, but I was born with the Big Bang due to the flaws of this universe. I was born with all of this knowledge, knowledge of everything. You could say that the only why I exist is because of those flaws.”
“What are you trying to do? What is your goal?” Tyler asked.
“Again, there is no human word to properly express what I shall achieve. I suppose the best name would be Celestial Nirvana. I am here to fix this crack in reality, just as I have fixed every other crack across the universe. Once that is done, all universes and dimensions shall merge together into a single space beyond all comprehension. Everything will be recreated and made perfect, and beginning and end will become one in the same in everlasting equilibrium. This imperfect universe is preventing Celestial Nirvana and the perfection of all existence. This is the last world, the last crack in the universe. I have spent almost fifteen billion years traveling through the cosmos, closing each crack when the celestial year ends. With this, everything will become perfect. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a universe to recreate.” Jack said, turning to the sphere and placing his hand on it.
“No Jack, don’t!” Victoria cried out.
Nearly knocking the three humans off their feet, a deluge of energy shot up from the sphere and into the sky. Firing off through the vacuum of space faster than the speed of light, the beam of energy crossed the entire universe in only a few moments before striking the very fringe. Upon contact, the all-encompassing edge of the universe began to glow with the intensity of a billion suns and started to constrict. Closing in on itself, the edge of the universe devoured everything like a tidal wave of light, converting all it touched into a “perfect material”, something that was neither matter nor energy.
With the one and only flaw in a truly limitless line of perfect universes and dimensions slowly fixing itself, the merging process began to take place. Like cellular division in reverse, each dimensional plane began to merge with the others, creating one super space in which the concepts of existence and nonexistence no longer had any meaning or difference. It was a neutrality that no living mind could comprehend, a form of perfection that transcended all opinions and perceptions. Only Jack, the very soul and essence of his universe, could fathom the meaning of the Celestial Nirvana.
Fighting through the gusts of wind, Victoria rushed over to Jack and grasped his arm.
“Jack, please! You have to stop this!” She begged.
“Why? You of all people should understand and appreciate what I am doing.”
“But I don’t want it to end this way.” She said desperately, drawing a look of amusement from Jack.
“I never expected to hear that from someone who had discovered the Self. Victoria, once this is completed, beginning and end will be both one in the name and nonexistent. Everything you are will be recreated into the perfect form that the all of Creation was meant to be. Every atom, every spark of energy, it will all be reformed and you shall truly become one with everything, including me.” He said happily.
“So you would rather have something perfect? I thought you loved me.” She said bitterly.
“I do, every word I said about loving you was completely true. I normally come to planets with life just before the end of the celestial year, but with earth, I arrived early, seventeen years early. You humans fascinated me, you were the most interesting species I had ever encountered. Wanting to study you and having seventeen years to kill, I changed my form into that of a human embryo and entered this world to watch you humans while I waited. I must say, it has been thoroughly enjoyable, especially discovering your unique form of sexualit and attraction. I love you Victoria and you and I will spend all of eternity together, just like you wanted.” He replied.
“Please Jack, you don’t have to do this!” She argued.
“This is neither a matter of want or need, it is something I must do but is not exactly required. Every organism must come to terms with its own creation to meet the end of its sentience peacefully, be that reproducing, choosing not to have offspring, or even destroying your own creators. That is what I am doing; I was created through a mistake, so it is my duty to fix that mistake. I was born with the ability to do this, so I must do this. This is the path laid out for me, I must erase the problem and install perfection and the Celestial Nirvana. This has been the conclusion of my life for almost fifteen billion years.” He continued. Victoria bit her lip, trying to think of something to say. Suddenly, it came to her.
“I never expected you to want something so boring.” She said, prompting Jack to look at her quizzically.
“You want to live in a perfect existence? It’s pathetic. Beauty is created from imperfection but perfection brings nothing. Your music, your books, your philosophies, and the woman you love are all the result of this flaw that you seem to loathe so much. If this perfect universe of yours does come to exist, will that honestly make you happy? You’ll just be a bunch of perfect particles in a perfect universe, completely devoid of thought or feeling. There will be nothing for you to appreciate, you won’t even be able to feel appreciation. It will be the same as not existing at all.” She said coldly. At her words, Jack looked back at the sphere of light in front of him and the beam of energy shooting up into space, having lost some of the color in his face.
“Ask yourself this Jack, would you rather exist in a universe where you had no thoughts or sensations and there was nothing to experience, or would you exist in a universe with music and art? Would you rather exist as nothing but a pile of lifeless atoms in a galaxy filled with atoms just like yours? Or would you prefer to live in a universe where you could appreciate and study everything around you. Jack, would you rather exist in that hollow perfect universe as something without life, sensation, or meaning, or live in a universe where you are with me, an imperfect girl who you love and who loves you with all of her heart? Face it, you lost your temper back in that Washington garage because you cared about me so much that you couldn’t accept my death and you couldn’t forgive those guys. Admit it, love without life is meaningless, just like how life without move is meaningless.” She asked desperately pressing herself against him. Jack didn’t answer, he merely stared at her with his smile gone.
“I made this for you for your birthday. Would you rather live in a meaningless universe where it has no meaning or doesn’t even exist?” She asked, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper. Unfolding it, she handed it to Jack. It was a sketch of the two of them embracing each other in the same position as the sketch Jack had seen in her room, both of them completely naked with smiles of tender love on their faces.
“You say that half of reality is what you make of it and the values you add. Why would you want a reality where you are incapable of perception and there is nothing to value? Is being perfect really better than being alive and happy?” She said.
Slowly, Jack lowered his hand and took it off the orb of light, causing the energy beam to come to a stop, as well as the universal rebirthing process. As the beginning of the new celestial cycle came to an end, the crack closed back up and the sky returned to its normal color. With a small smile, he turned back to Victoria.
“I’ve waited almost fifteen billion years for this… what’s another 5125.36 years? I guess I’ll come back and try again when you won’t be around to nag at me.” He teased. Crying tears of joy, Victoria wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as possible.
“Forget it, you’re going to make me immortal so that I can make sure you don’t destroy the universe. Oh god Jack, I love you so much.” She murmured.
“I love you too Victoria, and you’re right, I would rather be in an imperfect universe where I am happy than a perfect universe where I am incapable of feeling anything. I’m sorry for scaring you, all of you.” He said.
“I don’t think you’re the one you should be apologizing to for the scare. The whole world is probably flipping out with how the sky changed color. Is there anything you can do to fix it?” Tyler asked with a grin of relief as ha and Kelly walked over.
“Sure.” Jack said.
Without so much as a twitch of his eye, every single human being on the planet suddenly exploded into a molecular mess, broken down at the atomic level. Before the bloody mist could even settle or stain the surroundings, everyone was reformed exactly as they had been before, save for their memory of the past few minutes being completely wiped. With every single human basically frozen in time, waiting for Jack to restore life to them, he used the opportunity to repair anything that might have been damaged in the panic, rearranging the atoms back into their original places and making everything good as new. Everything completed, he kick-started everyone on the planet, basically returning them to their schedule with nobody being the wiser.
“There, it’s done. Aside from us, nobody knows about what just happened.” Jack said.
“Well then I suggest we get to class. Since the universe isn’t getting a remodeling, detention is still an issue.” Kelly said with a small laugh.
“Jeez, it’s not only 11:00 and I’m mentally exhausted.” Tyler sighed, turning around and walking back towards the school with Kelly. Jack and Victoria remained in the empty intersection.
“I love you Jack.” Victoria said again.
“I love you too.” Jack replied, wrapping his hand around hers.
“Oh, and Jack? Happy birthday.”
p.s. More than I hope you liked it, i hope this series taught you something.