My prior story (I Cheated, Well, We Cheated) was my first attempt at writing my experience and feelings. This current submission explains how my sexual awakening began, transpired and took me over the years.
While some comments on my first story chastised me me for using this venue as "therapy" and that cheating wasn't right. I even conceded that at the beginning of my first story and I didn't try to justify it.
I said I would welcome all comments so if you read a story titled "I Cheated" then you know what to expect and if contributing my experience is theraputic for me then so what, it's not selfish as the reader obviously gets something from it as well. I am not looking for absolution or redemption.
This current story is when and how things started for me sexually and drove my specific needs and what I wanted to get from partners.
I wish to thank that certain author who's stories I have read, along with our pm messages, which helped me put my feelings into words.
WARNING: to the sensitive and negative reader this story tells of a prepubesent girl who engaged in self gratification then went on to early sexual situations and if you wonder where else my true stories may go just look at my screen name to get a clue. If you are not comfortable with the potential context then don't read.
How I started (a young girls story) pt.1
I started out like many a young girl wherein I "found" my "little cunny". It obviously tingled with a really nice feeling when it was rubbed. I am not sure exactly when this started but I later was told it was when I was around 4 years old. As things went on I apparently had gotten out of that stage and went on with the typical things in a little girls life.
The constant desire to rub my cunny had eased off but I rediscovered it again, in earnest, when I was 9 years old.
At that age I certainly new the differences between boys and girls but was of course still ignorant regarding sex, feelings and needs that come along in life. One of the girls in my small circle of 4 friends (the forth one is always the odd one out) told us about seeing her older brothers "wee wee", as we would call a boys cock. It seems the 4th friend in the circle is always the odd one out and I think I was the odd one in my group
Her brother was 12 years old and it's not that she just saw it, which she has before, but this time it was sticking straight out plus she said he was "rubbing" it. Naturally we all giggled and squealed as we talked about it amongst ourselves together with any other information we had accumulated about "wee wee's and pee pee's" ( as we called our cunny's) and what other things to do with them.
We had gotten past that and the event our friend conveyed practically disappeared into oblivion as the school day went on. Later that evening after dinner, TV and all the usual was done and I layed in bed, my thoughts from the day did drift back to what my friend told us this morning. My thoughts wouldn't allow me to sleep and my curiosity was getting the best of me.
I was an only child but it's not like I didn't remembered seeing daddy's cock on occasions. It never "did anything" for me but then again that was a few years ago. I didn't see my cousins cock but I had felt it one night when I spent the night at my aunts house. It was innocent enough and the usual dare mixed with curiosity and nothing much came of it, this was when I was 8 years old. It never happened again, even though we stayed with each other off and on after that one time.
Perhaps this is how things are seeded and grows from there or it's timing and puberty or a whole bunch of things accumulated........I don't or didn't know then.
As I thought back to all of it I eased my fingers under the front of my panties. It had been a long time since I had touched myself like that with the intent of deriving a pleasure. This was a night somehow burned into my long term memory, along with certain other events which happened, but I feel this is where it all started for me.
The feel of my young cunny on my fingers (not the other way around) seemed to be the first impression that stuck with me. Of course the second feeling was fantastic as I got into it but I will never forget how my mound felt to my fingers followed by the smoothness of my cunny lips where they met my tightly closed slit.
I rubbed over the outside of my bald cunny with my middle finger tracing the outside of my slot. This caused a tingly feeling just under the surface which I just had to get to as my explorations went on. For some reason I had an inhibition about putting my finger, or anything, inside my cunny.
We are brought up about making damn sure we wipe from front to back and never the other way around plus not letting anyone touch you there or put anything in it etc, etc.
The urge outstripped my inhibitions and all the things that were preached to me so I wormed my middle finger between my cunny lips.
The effect was immediate and electrifying, the tingling increased while transforming into a type of soothing relief at the same time. Goosbumps popped up all over while my body fluttered, I drew in a ragged breath and let it out in slow controlled fashion.
I started an instant fire and had began to quench it just as fast as I worked my finger up and down my slit. I remembered that night in detail after all these years yet the amount of time that went by while I felt myself up I can't determine.
As I kept on rubbing and explored my hot spots I felt the urge to pee and I was mad about it because I didn't want the distraction of holding my pee while I pleasured myself.
As I continued the need to pee increased so I worked my finger up and down my slit until I couldn't take it anymore. I quit what I was doing and got up as my body shook with the need to relief myself. By the time I stood up and walked to the bedroom door the feeling to pee went away. I went on to the bathroom and sat down but I couldn't do anything.
Little did I know then that if I would have kept on fingering my cunny and knew what that feeling to pee really was and let it go I would have gotten the best feeling in the world. Even though I didn't cum that night I returned to bed and did have the feeling of relief and soon went to sleep.
Obviously just like when boys find out about masterbating and the multiple effects from relief to inducing sleep then we are hooked plus you learn and find out there is more, MUCH MORE that we can and want to do.
From that night on there was hardly a night when I didn't rub one out especially after I understood that feeling to pee after I rubbed my cunny for a while.
I think the real thing that started the insatiable blaze within me was after the next time I rubbed myself until I felt the need to pee and quit because of it. I went to the bathroom, made sure I locked the door and sat down on the toilet then went to work. I didn't want to stop rubbing just because I had to pee so I was going to kill two birds with one stone.
As the feeling came on stronger and stronger and I felt I couldn't hold it anymore I pulled my finger to my clit and rubbed in circles as I let go of what I thought was going to be pee.
As it came down and worked it way out the relief I had was almost the same as the relief from peeing yet different and the feeling was one of the most amazing things ever. My cunny was wet but nothing came out of me except a low grunt from my throat while my body shook and I rubbed my clit.
Here I am at 9 years old and I had found a key to such good feelings and relief.
As time went on not only did rubbing my cunny bring down what I thought of as "that slippery stuff" but it melded into that just thinking about it made me wet.
Having drenched panties all the time at 9 years old was a regular occurance but one thing about it all was the feeling of my cunny on my fingers. I liked the feeling and not only did I like touching my cunny but I thought about touching someone elses. I really did like the feeling of a vagina on my fingers but all the talk around was of boys and girls, wee wee's and pee pee's.
I thought more about cunts and feeling them than I did cocks but that opportunity wouldn't happen until later as I followed the gossip and talk of boys cocks and what they could be used for. I had been rubbing my slot but as I got more accustomed to that I did feel a need to get "deeper" but strangely enough I was scared about that.
My fear didn't keep me from letting my finger explore the heat deep in my young cunny. When I started probing deeper into my hole I simply found more and more pleasure and need. I started to put things together with all the talk of boys putting their wee wee in a girls pee pee.
In some way I felt I was ahead of other 9 year old girls yet was way behind at the same time. None of us ever confessed to actually doing anything with a boy rather it was all talk, information and inuendo but my fire was lit.
When I turned 10 I had a neighborhood "boyfriend", well I was enamored with him anyway. I say he was my boyfriend but he didn't know it but I thought he was so cute. He was much older and paid me attention as he seemed to be flattered about my admiration of him.
He was about 15 years old and lived a few houses down from us so the convenience factor was there, he was cute and I was really becoming a horny 10 year old girl who needed more than what I figured I could do for myself. Anytime I was around him and nobody was looking I would hug him and always made an excuse to be near him or stand next to him. I was becoming more provocative as time went on and thinking about it now I turned into quite a precocious girl.
It was summer so we were out of school, all of the kids in the area had the run of the neighborhood. I had went to his backyard where he had a treehouse and found him there. He was looking at a magazine which he quickly put away when I went through the door.
I sat down on the floor and started with the usual questions like "whatcha doin" then went on to chattering like any young girl does. I had went to his treehouse with the intention on making a move on him.
He was always nice to me, never shoved me off or acted annoyed so I felt comfortable with it. I brought up that fact to him, got up and walked over to him then sat down beside him while wraping my arms around his waist.
I told him I was glad he was my boyfriend as I squeezed and buried my head into his side. He put an arm around my back and brought his hand up to the top of my head and patted my head.
This didn't sit well with me because this is a common gesture that adults do to kids as a way to pacify them or show a benign interest like silently saying "you sweet little kid". I didn't feel I was a little kid but a big girl with full curiosity and want.
I got up on my knees and hugged his neck while planting a kiss on his cheek. With my hand on the other side of his face I was trying to turn his face towards me. I was intent to kiss a boy full on the lips and he was going to be the one to do it and hoefully kiss me back.
He didn't immediately comply so I moved myself in front of him and started kissing his face as he tried to turn away. I followed him with my face until he pulled back. While he looked at me I simply said that "we can do what boyfriends and girlfriends do". With that I mockingly puckered my lips and waited a second before leaning closer to him. He finally brought his face to mine then I struck, I tightened my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his and held as tight as I could.
I was running out of breath after what seemed like a minute so just as quick as I struck I stopped and pulled back.
Before he could say anything I hugged him tight and pressed my body against him while I leaned my head on his shoulder.
At that moment I felt I had caught up with my more mature age inside despite being 10 years old on the outside. He was hugging me harder now and I felt progress was being made and my plan was coming to fruition.
We rolled together and laid down on the floor of his treehouse. He was beside propping himself up with his elbow while using his other hand to brush my hair back. He leaned down and we started kissing again and his hand went to my stomach then to my side. I was being very direct by moving his hand to my cunt on the outside of my sundress hoping me would take it further from there. He did lightly rub over my mound but he wasn't moving anywhere near as fast as I wanted.
I finally reached down and guided his hand under my dress. He kept his hand on my mound but I really wanted it on my bare cunny.
Looking back on it now I understood his hesitance to even be alone with me let alone him feeling me up.Taking the initiative again I reached down and guided his hand into my panties.
The effect was exhilerating and my body immediately undulated as I rocked my hips up and down as he slid a finger into my slit.
His fire had suddenly been lit as well and he began to work my hot little box with intensity. He seemed to become more frantic and even though he fingered me slow he was rubbing harder and deeper.
I was already moist but not enough and the friction was getting a little to much. As he pulled his finger to the top of my slit he slowly started back down tis time letting the tip of his finger trace it's way to my hole.
As he probed deeper I felt a pinch , I winced in pain and tightened up as his fingertip reached my cherry. This was a point I never really got to when playing with myself although I got close enough to where it felt good but something was keeping me from going further.
He went right back to fingering the entire length of my slit a few more strokes before he stopped and said he was going to do something that would make me feel really good. He got upright on his knee's and peered out the treehouse door and looked around. Satisfied nobody was around he turned to me and proceeded to pull off my panties.
The only words from his mouth was "this is going to feel really good" as he went down on me.
Given all the decades which have passed I will never forget the feeling of the first tongue to touch my young virgin pussy. A cool tingling tickling sensation swept though my entire body when his tongue brushed up my slit the first time.
I wasn't thinking about anything that may come after this point, I just didn't want him or this feeling to stop.
Thinking back now I knew this wasn't the first time he had eaten pussy but probably his first 10 year old girl. He knew what he was doing and the only person that could be equal would be another girl (which I know from experience but that's another story) knowing how to eat pussy.
Just like with he did with his finger he went up and down my entire slit then progressively worked the tip of his tongue deeper into my hole before teasing my clit. In short order I had that feeling and I remember being mad that it was going to happen already. Even though once I found out what that getting to that "feeling" was the real goal I didn't want it to happen yet. He wasn't going to stop no more than I wanted him to stop while I still craved "that feeling", it was quite a dilemma.
The feeling deep inside of me which was just below my stomch felt warmer and more intense than anything I was able to previously do to myself.
There was nothing on earth I could do to stop it from happening but I tried my best to delay it as long as possible. I wanted each feeling I was having but of course this experience was brand new. What would ultimately happen was the turning point in my very young life and it would be my primary focus to make happen as many times as possible with the same intensity.
My clit became extremely sensitive now and on his upstroke when his of his tongue touched my clit I blurted out "THERE".
He rapidly licked hard then soft in just that right spot, my hair felt like it stood on end, I curled my toes tight before I let loose the heat that had built inside of me.
A gutteral demon sounding growl eminated from my throat as I let go. It was as if every bit of fluid within my body was being funneled out of me through my young little snatch. With my feet planted on the floor my legs shook and rocked as waves of shivers washed through me.
I remember he stopped lapping at me and hearing him say "WOW".
I laid there in a whirlwind of feelings and emotions feeling like I wanted to cry without knowing if it was due to happiness, pleasure, sadness or surprise. I'm sure much less time passed than I remember but it felt like I laid there for 30 minutes until my senses came back.
I had no words which I could speak and felt like I was lost. He asked me if I was ok and all I did was nod my head yes then pulled up my panties then sat up. He insisted that this was just our secret and to not tell ANYONE.
As I got up he was on his knee's in front of me and looked right at me and said "OK !", as he wanted to confirm our secret.
I nodded my head again and weakly replied "yes".
I wanted to leave at that point because my head was starting to swirl with emotions again. He asked me if I wanted to stay and "play" some more and all I could say was "not right now".
When I hit the ground on climbing down the ladder from his treehouse I walked home and along with my thoughts I kept having little shivers up and down my body.
I went to my room, laid down on the bed and hugged my old teddy bear while my young mind tried to comprehend the meaning and intensity of what happened.
This all took place before noon and while I laid there Mom came in asking if I was ready for lunch. I didn't want to eat because I had to much on my mind plus I felt weak.
She felt my head for fever then left me alone and I went to sleep. When I woke up later I was in young girl love for the first time. My thoughts were more stable and my goals were clear. I had experienced something more intense than many grown woman ever do.
I had experienced and discovered something better and more fun than anything prior to that point in my life. I knew what I had to do next.