I watched her walk up the walk-way toward the Hotel...she seemed nervous so I decided to meet her half way. A man meeting a woman half way, how un-male-like I thought...and smiled.
She didn’t see me at first so I said hello load enough for her to hear. It startled her...much to our mutual amusement.
“I’ll try again”, said:
“Hello”, she said, laughing at her nervousness.
We talked for maybe ten minutes outside about various things...one of which was the lovely flower-garden set between the walkways at this Hotel.
“Would you like to go inside”, I ask her.
“In a hurry are you”? She asked.
“No, I just thought I’d ask”, I said...Continuing I said---“would you prefer to sit outside for a bit and talk”?
“Yes”. She answered.
We sat outside continuing out discussion about gardening. I could see something was up so I ask her.
She told me her marriage was over and as of last week she’ a single woman. [She did not look happy to be single to me]
Looking away from me she continued;
How her husband had been having an affair for years with his secretary. That everyone knew and had conspired against her...hurting her most was the other casual fuckng he had done behind her back with her friends---all of them.
“As of this moment you are almost the only person I can trust...odd isn’t it”, she added.
I laughed. Inappropriately as it turned out...Candice’ face went pale...as if I’d just punched her in the stomach..., and what can only be described as disappointment made its appearance on her face. [Once again I error]
I stopped laughing:
“You’re laughing at me”, she replied.
“No...I’m laughing at the situation”. [That did nothing for my predicament]
“I think I’ll go Dave”.
“No...Stay...I’m sorry”, I said.
She looked at me with a forlorn look on her face. [Did I feel bad!]
“Common. Please stay, and let me try to recover from my poor judgement”.
She agreed, so we sat outside on a park bench...I gave her my best explanation...she accepted that along with my apology. [Lucky or what I thought to myself]
The tensions between us slowly abated and our normal comfort zone returned.
About eight months back I was looking to buy something to live in ...Candice is in real-estate and it just so happened I was driving by her office and popped in while she was there. She’ a -knockout so I was more than pleased to have her look after my interests.
---- I’d been married a few years before but my wife, ex, dumped me...basically my own fault.
I gained too much weight for her to deal with. In fairness she had given me plenty of time to get my shit together but I lost interest in-myself ... MY father had died and my office job lent itself to an easy life style and a big gut. That was and I suppose still is my excuse for that period of my life.
Near the end of our marriage my mother got ill and I started spending allot of time over there...my brother and sister live out of town and probably are the happier for it. So my wife was alone with her fat slob of a husband always over at mommy’s...you get the picture.
My mother never saw my ex- therefore her guns were trained on me... daily barrages...fuck do mothers know where to shoot.
Your this, your that, lose weight, no wonder she lost interest in you, and on and on she’ go.
--- I moved in with mom...she was sick for about two years. She was a real pain in the ass..., but I give her the credit for turning my life around.
By the last six months mom had worked me so hard I had lost 60 lbs..., or there bouts. Self preservation had me out walking, eventually some running, yard work...anything to get a break from her, without actually telling her-she was a pain in the ass. You get it; ‘MOM’.
I quit my office job and worked as a labourer, first in warehousing, then in construction.
Mom told me office work is for skirts; ‘get a man’s job you lazy bugger’, one of mom’ favourite words...beats the hell out some of the other things I have been called.
So between all that and pick-up sports I got into pretty good shape, best of my life...I even got a few dates with younger girls... I am past 30 and they were in their early 20’s. I had some good sex too, did I learn from those girls. Some young woman, wow!
Then one day mom died. I will always remember her saying each time I went out;
“If I die don’t use that as an excuse to you stay out past your curfew”. She’d laugh.
--- ‘I love ya’ mom’, even if you’re not here I hear your words... and they stand me in good stead.
The--- estate garnered us siblings about $150,000 each... the bro and sis took the money and ran...haven’t seen them since. Fucker’s anyway!
BACK TO CANDICE;
Like I said she’ in realty and was doing her job finding me a home. It took me about five months to find something I both liked and did not take all the money. Candice and I had several coffee’ together and a few drinks on a couple of evenings. We seem to get along.
I had a few dates during this period and was feeling very confident in myself... for one of the few times in my life. That fateful day came when it was sign the papers and take possession of the house.
I looked things over and noticed one small detail that was off. I pointed it out to her so we rescheduled for the following day. She would call me that evening to reschedule again... she did not say why but I assumed it was personnel... I knew from conversations with her that she was having some-trouble; I assumed with the husband. Difficult for me to believe from what I knew of Candice.
The rescheduling took me past the date I was to receive my furniture, Candice gave me permission to move in ahead of the possession date. It was the following Saturday before we sat down to finish up the paper-work.
She came over early ‘PM’. I had prepared a light lunch hoping she would stay; I was sad that this would be our last time together.
She said yes to the lunch... I think she picked up on my mood. She made herself comfortable and did not press the issue of signing the paperwork. Lunch took an hour plus.
I cleaned up when she went to the bathroom so the table was cleared and wiped clean when she came out. She seemed a little surprised.
I picked up the paper work and went thru it again...just making sure. Candice sat up-on the table with-her feet on the chair. No problem from my viewpoint. I have nice furniture and she made it look even better.
Usually Candice dressed professionally. Business suit, heels, nylons..., usually black; a proper blouse or shirt, whatever chicks wear.
This day was a Saturday so she was casually dressed. Open toed heels, very fancy looking I thought. Deep 'V'-d top, light brown in color... NO BRA! That got my attention; it looked like she had ‘C’ cup, and nice skin tone to boot. Hot damn...but I kept my cool. This was no small feat on this hot summer’s day.
Candice has blonde hair styled short, painted toe-nails and fingernails. You can tell she puts time into herself. All in all she is a babe and a very attractive one at that...
I am in over my depth with her that’s for sure, but you know guys, always hoping, lying, and scheming, whatever it takes to get a girl’s pants off.
Candice had a beautiful tan painted on her flawless skin..., and she wore these tights; white..., mid – calf in leg length and body hugging. It took some will power to not drool. I never realized how well put together she was.
Back to my kitchen table;
Candice sat up on it; bare feet with shoes off or partially off, toes touching the chair with heels up, ankles crossed...breathe taking to be sure... AND me reading the documents I am to sign.
SHE was a vision, demure as hell really, and yet so fuckng sexy this woman.
--- I could blame her for what followed of course; it’s the male thing to do.
I had just finished reading the documents. AND with my recent successes with woman, and my off beat sense of humour all contributing, I said;
“Only one thing left to do before I sign Candice”.
She looked at me, and smiled;
Her jaw dropped and her face turn so red I almost laughed... eventually did. I could not keep a straight face for the life of me.
When she saw me struggling to hide a grin she came to me and hit me.
“You buggar”, she said.
Then I laughed, I shrugged my shoulders and moved my hands apologetically; but I had to laugh. I could not help it. She hit me again and deservedly so.
Thru all this I enjoyed the feel of her soft punches to my chest. I wanted to hug her so badly but I couldn’t of course. Instead I went to the table, sitting down I signed the papers. I was quite thrilled with myself.
I stood handing her the documents, still quite pleased with myself. We talked for a few minutes about the house and home sales in general. I thanked her for her service and said;
“I hope we can meet again sometime for a coffee or beer”, that is how I worded it.
Candice smiled and headed for the door. My heart sank.
She stopped, turning she said;
“You seemed pretty confident when you asked me to go to bed”?
“Comfortable would be the operative word Candice; [pause] I knew you would never say yes”.
“---and if I did”!
“I would be in shock, and nervous would be the operative word”, I answered.
[Suddenly feeling my world turn not as it should, but as Candice willed it to turn]
Candice looked straight into mine eyes, not flinching;
I know what I hoped she was saying but I wasn't sure...she might be just having fun with me after my cockiness. Turnabout is fair play.
The look on her face told me the look on my face made all this teasing worth it, from her perspective. I tried to respond but my mouth was dry. [How quickly a mouth goes dry]
I must have looked like a Guppy as tried to talk or something because she burst out laughing. I smiled at her and retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Man was I thirsty.
“Be careful what you ask for Dave”. She said, still enjoying herself at my expense. [God I love her laugh]
I quenched my thirst...or maybe I kept drinking water until I could find my way back into the conversation with some dignity. In either case; that brings me to this day, Candice and I meeting at a Hotel.
THE PARK BENCH;
--- Candice and I sat in this little grassy area; very well manicure; it acted as a mini-park in front of the Hotel. A couple of benches, some flowers, two large trees were the main inhabitants of this park.
We talked casually as we sat in this little park. I noticed this fellow coming toward us; he nodded..., so I returned his nod. He turned taking a few steps stopping; looking up at the POLICE sign on the –K.L. Library building he reversed course, and with a shrug an meek smile acknowledging his navigational error he walked off going about his day.
“Do you know him”? Candice asked.
“NO”, I said...just being polite.
“You’re always polite Dave, I’ve noticed that”.
“I have my moments “, I said.
“Don’t we all..., can we go inside now”.
“Dave, can I borrow our coat, I should have worn a bra”.
I gave her my coat.
“Hi-beams”, she said.
“Gotcha”! I said.
She took my arm and we entered the Hotel going to the room I’d rented. It was a nice room I’d made sure of that. She removed my coat but I could see she was cold. I had boughten a new robe made of some kind of heavy material; I liked the way it looked.
“I bought this robe especially for this occasion”, I said...“Would you like to wear it to get warm”.
“Yes...but I gotta pee first”.
“Shall I order something to eat”? She said yes and I ordered what she wanted.
When she came out of the bathroom she was wearing my robe and carry-ing her clothes. Neatly folded... I liked that about Candice, she was a neat and tidy person.
“It looks better on you than it ever would on me”, I said.
“Thanks’ ”! She said. Continuing...“Would you like a preview of what awaits you under the robe”?
“No”.... she asked?
“If your as beautiful as I think you are I won’t be able to put two complete sentences together for the rest of the night”.
She laughed...tightening the belt. She looked at me;
“Dave... [Pause]...can you give a woman an orgasm orally”?
“I have Candice..., you know there are no guarantees “.
“With me it will be...can we do that first”?
“Sure”, I said... I was about to continue when there was a knock at the door and our light supper arrived.
W e sat at the table; this suite had one...and ate our light supper. Coffee and bottled water for beverages... Our conversation went directly to sex...and therein lays a tail unto its own.
.................................. She’d married this guy from work; Phil. They hit it off straight away she thought. He as good looking, so divine...she went for him head over heels. Her saving grace, if you don’t mind the pun, was her religion. Candice is Catholic and would not sleep around before the ring was on her finger.
--- “the first six months and maybe a little more were great Dave. He was attentive, loving. All a girl could ask for.
--- Then the questions began, sexually. Can we try this, can we try that. I seemed like every week he had anew thing he wanted to do...some of which grossed me out.
--- Anal was a big one with him almost from the start... I said no every time; not my thing Dave.
‘She winked at me’. [She knows she has a fantastic ass; not like I would mention it]
--- WE were very popular and were out all the time it seemed. I noticed after awhile that MY husband would disappear for stretches of time leaving me to fend for myself with other people... I trusted him so it was no big deal at the time, ‘Duh...dumb Dora here’”.
[Candice stops for a minute to drink some water...I am having coffee]
“I wanted a child; he did not...interfered with his life he said. Had I known this I probably would not have married him..., good Catholic girl. This discussion happened about ‘a-year and a-half’ into our marriage.
So we struck a bargain. He would give me a child and in return I would let him bum fuck me. He wanted Anal right away. I said no, not until after the baby. I will be out of commission sexually anyway so why not then. He agreed reluctantly.
---- To cut it short, I lost the baby after six weeks....‘I cannot have children Dave’.
---- To quote my ex-friend Alice... ‘Your a failed MILF Candice’. I had to have that explained to me”.
[We paused again for a few minutes while she went pee]
I wondered if she would want to continue. She was upset about the baby business.
She stuck her head out of the bathroom and asked if I would order some wine;
----“I need a drink Dave”.
[It was already in the suite so I poured]
When she finally did return to the table I could see she had been cry-ing. I ask if she wanted to continue;
“Yes...you told me about your failed marriage, I want to tell you about mine. Lay our cards on the table ... and hope it goes well for us”.
That was the first time she indicated an interest in me beyond friendship.
She said after the loss of the baby the mean time of her marriage began. She said allot of very hurt-full things were said to her by her husband and she learned to fire back. It got very nasty at times.
Then the unexpected... Her husband received a promotion at work and needed his wife to be a good corporate wife.
...”I told him, ‘I would be a good wife if he would be a good husband’.
----I was a Trophy Wife from this point on in my marriage Dave. I would get dolled up and look fantastic. Phil would get loads of complements about his pretty wife. AND of course I would get some looks and hit-on occasionally. I played it well and Phil benefited.
---- The last two and a-half years of my marriage I was 'THE' Trophy Wife. WE never had sex and I was getting pretty horny.... but I am no slut so I managed it... I am Catholic so I do not masturbate...needless to say I was tempted sometimes to fuck someone. I was certain my husband was fucking someone.
---- I’d noticed more people getting involved in my having a ‘good time’. Ya know;
‘Hey Candice, can I get ya a drink? --- Hey Candice did you hear this one? --- He Candice... blah, blah, blah...’ “.
----“the accidental touches became more frequent; and I drank more whether they were social or business gatherings. There is a straight line from the bar thru the glass in ones hand to the bedroom Dave, and I was on it.
---- I now take you to last year’s Xmas party. It was near midnight and yours truly was ‘well lubricated’; in both senses of the term. I went to pee and my friend, now ex-friend was in the bathroom. She saw what condition my condition was in as we talked.
I went pee and when I came out there was a man in the wash room along with my friend. I knew ‘whas-upp’ and tried to leave but they stopped me.
He was nice and actually wanted to let me go. My friend was not so easy and was pressuring me;
--- ‘lift my dress- bend over- hold onto the sink—get fucked’.
‘It’ll do ya a world of good Candice’, she said.
I had no doubt she was right; ‘... but ‘tis isn’t m- wa-to do thin’s I t’ld her’. [Drunken slur]
Things suddenly got worse for me when my other friend at this party showed with her husband...he had been after me for years...so I knew I was in trouble now... fortunately the first man had a sense of decency and stepped in front of Milt, his name...
NOW they started arguing how to convince me to hike my dress up and let both men fuck me. The first man wanted to call it and let me go, Milt wanted to fuck me; my girl friends were not letting me go just yet...they wanted to try and convince me to let these guy’s fuck me.
‘I needed it’. They argued.
The cavalry came in the form of my friend and CEO of THE Company Bill Twills his wife Candy.
[Candice smiled at me]
Bill admonished both men telling them to get the hell out of the woman’s washroom. He stopped my girl friends from leaving. With his wife Candy guarding the door he weighed into them.
This is when I picked up on my girl friend’ fucking my husband. I was so drunk it went right through me like x-rays; only to show up as a negative in the morning, along with one hell of a hangover.
---- I stayed with Bill and Candy that night.
I never went back to my house, I was so humiliated Dave. Bill had my personnel belongings brought to their home, were I live today. They’ve been great, but that is another story.
[A long pause]
Bill helped me get a lawyer. They both offered their home and hearts to this badly damaged woman Dave... Thank God for my faith, I don't think I could have made it without it.
Being Catholic I don’t believe in divorce; so it was a big problem for me. Thank God I found a modern thinking Priest to help through it.
I’d listened to her story;
It was hard for me to fathom anyone treating her like that; to dishonour her that way, even insipiently, but to plan this whole scenario... I was steaming. To say my ire was raised would be an understatement. I wanted to kill the fucker.
She must have seen my facial expression change because I felt her hand touch mine. Candice' ability to forgive her husband' transgressions left me in awe. That ability is very much outside my domain.
“Don’t ruin the day over this Dave, what’s done is done, I’ve moved on”.
“There are times when I wish I was a ruthless bastard; a killer, this was one of those times”. I said to her.
“Then I’ll tell you something that will temper your anger.
--- Phil was given a promotion as you already know. I was proud of him for that achievement. What I did not know until Bill took me in was that the board promoted him mostly to keep an eye on me. .. They knew all the details of Phil and his pack. Most of who worked for ‘Bardeen Corp.’, the company.
--- ‘Bardeen Corp.’ has a policy were by any top executive must have a wife capable of handling herself at company sponsored social functions. Promoting Phil put me under their scrutiny. There is more Dave but enough for today, let’s go to bed.
SHE HOPED UP ON THE BED standing in the middle of it, robe on. She had plenty of clearance for her head. Candice is 26 and 5’6”... a little associative help going on there.
“Come on”, she says.
Standing I began to take off my pants, looking at Candice instead of watching what I was doing; I tripped over my pants. Rather than brace myself I hopped thinking I would still get my pants off, just with a little clowning...
NOPE! Falling to the floor after bouncing of the end of the bed... I lay there on the carpet on my back. ‘Perhaps I should have taken my shoes off first’...I was thinking. A beautiful face with blonde hair draped about it appeared..., looking over the end of the bed.
Candice was on all fours peering down at me over the end of the bed. He mouth held a slight smile; but her eyes...they were sparkling...maybe even dancing as she began to laugh and laugh and laugh..., her head disappear but her laughter was filling room.
I like Candice’s laugh so I was enjoying listening to her. I waited for her to stop laughing but she didn’t...
I sat up, got on my knees, elbows on the bed, head in hand and watched her laugh...she rolled around on the bed holding her stomach she laughed so hard. It was something to watch a grown woman roll around laughing like a little kid.
Suddenly she leapt from the bed running into the bathroom. I heard the tinkle of her pee-ing..., still laughing..., although she was quieting.
I was happy I made her laugh, but I honestly did not think it was that funny...
‘... [pratfall one, stellar dude nothing]...’ I mused.
When she returned she told me that was the funniest thing she’d ever seen. She continued say-ing she needed to rest a minute; --- “I’m exhausted from laughing so hard”.
[I got a hug... pratfall one, stellar dude one]... I amused.
I threw a cover over her...she still had on my robe...I wanted her to be warm.
I decided to go for a coffee while she rested; picking-up my keys I opened the door;
“Your coming back aren’t you”? She asked.
I turned, looking at her. I was beginning to see how deeply hurt she had been by that asshole.
“Yes, I’m coming back”!
Whilst I sat having my coffee I thought allot about Candice. It dawned on me that her exhaustion was at least partially due to stress; her laughing so hard being part comic relief.
AFTER-ALL; she was in a position she didn’t want to be in; namely in a Hotel room with a man she wasn't married too.
The reason I went for a coffee was to spend time thinking of a solution to her needs; Sex and Honour. ------ My solution, first sex, then her honour... I was so proud of myself. After-all, what other man would think of that... [I admit to a smile, even a smirk on my face, but nothing more]
I arrived back at the Hotel and quietly entered the room. She was lying on her side face away from the entrance, so I had no idea whether she was awake or asleep.
I went to the bathroom and undressed washing myself with a wash cloth and drying...adding a touch of hotel supplied Cologne.
Once again I quietly entered the room moving toward her. Leaning over the bed I saw her eyes were open.
She turned-over to face me and her eyes saw my nude body. It was cute how her eyes got so big...darting to and fro for a second or two.
“You’re...” That was all she managed.
I pulled back the cover and slipped under moving beside her, she started pulling away but I caught her...
“No were to run”. I said and winked.
“That is so sexy...you blushing”. I said. She blushed some more.
Feeling in complete control I said; “Let’s see what you’ve got”?
I wouldn’t have thought it possible but she got redder...with an added feature. Her eyes closed and she turned her head away.
“Were did the other Candice go”? I asked... [She just shook her head]
I moved to her hugging her close...she resisted a little but soon cozied up to me.
“Rest your head in my shoulder...we’ll wait for you to get comfortable”.
I held Candice, I was worried about her. How could she change from very-confident and sassy to a nervous-Nellie? Unless confident was an act.
AS I held this lovely creature my 5 ½ inches was poking her, or at least making itself known. Sometimes in life it’s the little things that make a difference.
I never felt Candice moving until I felt her fingers touch me. The ‘little fella’ responded accordingly. I heard a sigh or soft moan; I felt her moving she looked into mine eyes.
“Hi”! I said.
She did not respond except for a cute twist of her head and her continued exploration of my manhood with her fingers. Such delicate touches, it won’t break I thought, but it’s ok...let her enjoy it in her own way.
Candice kept her face buried in my shoulder...I could hear her breathing change. Touching her neck I asked her if I could touch her. [Being careful not to upset the balance of things]
---- She nodded yes.
Removing the cover and undo-ing the robes belt, I slipped a hand under the robe and found her nipples; each standing erect. We hadn't even been properly introduced, but they were smartly at attention.
Candice’ head was blocking my view of her tits. I kissed Candice on her head ‘love-ing-ly’. Lifting my head slightly I could see her nipples... BEAUTIFUL!
With the robe open my gaze took in her tummy and panties...her tummy hollows before it rises at her pubic bone. Her ‘panty-covered-bone’ stands probably an inch above its surround.
She is wearing some fancy white panties with blue trim or lace. There are tiny little bows at each hip.
“I need to move if I am ‘gonna eat ya’ honey”, I say.
“Ok”! She answers.
Candice opens her legs; I lay between them ogling her panty covered pussy. The thin white fabric covering her pussy is pulled away from her lower stomach by the pubic bone, leaving a small fussy edge of hair peeking out past the leg openings of her panties.
HER hair is almost a sandy color, nearly invisible; yet the light reflects off those vellus like hairs; each one shimmering.
While ogling her I noticed the hair of her prominent pubic bone causes ripples in the cloth of her panties.
Looking down I see the flatness of her pussy. I eye her over and over...God, so lovely.
--------------------------------------------------------- ALL hidden from my view by a veil of clothe. Her panties...
My face moves giving my nose a chance for a sniff; the fragrance of her appeals to me.
Looking beyond her mound I see those fancy bows near her hips. My hands move to them, lifting each as my fingers slip under her the waist band of her panties. I play with those bows for a moment..., moving my fingers; lifting...settling...lifting..., alternately...fascinated I am.
I move her panties down; Candice lifts her hips.
--- Sliding those sexy panties off her hips I see for the first time the perfect pussy, too my tastes. I love a pussy with small lips; a pussy which does a shape 90 at the ‘mons pubis’ heading into the valley, the ‘clef of venus’- . I love a prominent bone. She’ perfect for me!
Candice’ pubic hair is soft and peachy, as in peach fuss. Light brown in colour, a thin covering; almost invisible between her legs.
A tuff of hair peeks out from her bum-hole...as if waving..., saving; ‘Hey, don’t for-get me’.
MY tongue touches her between her pussy and bum-hole. She stiffens...there is a gasp of sorts...
The tongue moves up along her slit, pressing inward as it goes...back and forth, up and down; deeping in its search. The hint of her vagina...wiggling my tongue... I lick her lips, she tastes so good.
Pressing my face in-tight; tongue fucking Candice...licking her little muscle, it’s as hard as a rock...the tip of my tongue pushing her tight little ring... [I think to myself, it’s like tongue fucking a Cheerio]
MY tongue pushes...pressures...she yields...swirling my tongue round ‘n round in her vaginal opening.
‘I hear a moan’.
The first action from her hips...the first pump...soon a second [a sigh], then a third.
HER hips moving...her intensity...her wetness..., her juices are all over-my-face...
---- ‘Candice groans’!
Candice opens her legs wider...that gorgeous pussy for me. I am in heaven!
I peek over her mound to look at her face but her head is such that all I can see is her throat..., it’s so pink...she’s glowing.
---- -------------------------- Like two proud surfers, I watch Candice’ nipples moving atop mountainous waves, with surf-boards of slightly coned areolas. The majesty, they’re a thing of beauty.
My appreciative staring at her nipples is interrupted;
---- I hear a deep groan from Candice.
Lost in the moment, I return...eating her. Her thighs spread wide but still touching my cheeks...the beauty of which my peripheral vision does not miss. Perfection; this woman is perfect for me.
Her smell, her wetness, her tits, her mound... HER!
Candice, the woman I love;
... I’m so engrossed in eating her I growl like an animal;
‘GRRRRRRRRR’! ... Unintentional, but I did.
I growl a second time and gnaw without actually biting. Eating her like a beast.
I hear a short squeal or scream--- Her hips thrusting in silence--- grinding into my face---a deep guttural sound coming from Candice, followed by her losing it.
Candice’ body arch’s off the bed...her body torques and slams back onto the bed. She twists, she stiffens...convulses...
----- UGH - UGH - UGH - UGH – UGH- UGH -UGH...
I loved her orgasm. [Although she nearly broke my fuck’n neck]
Candice cuddles in my arms, a very appreciative woman. I was more than thrilled to eat her and told her so. Using delicate language I expounded on the wonders of her pussy.
She laughed, telling me she loved oral and wanted it again, and again... [I got a very big hug] She informed me she had had two or maybe three orgasm’ ..., she was not sure they came so fast.
“You rocked my world Dave”!
[I never mentioned it of course but her ‘ex’ deserved some of the credit for being such an asshole...depriving the woman of sex]