This is about Sara and her first time with her uncle
The Modern Lolita
The Biography Of Sara
This was taken from a chat I had with a girl who said she was in her teens. She said this is a true story of how she seduced her uncle and how she felt about having had him love her. The information is from a docx file I saved with her words as she wrote them on the net. It has been polished a bit but if you would like the original document send me an email and I will forward it to you or if enough are interested I can post it here.
I started this book many years ago but each time I got someone interested they seemed to have lost interest and disappeared. I have several of these letters and as I add them to the book I will post the new ones.
I would like to say I now have a partner who is going to help me finish the book so hopefully I can get the complete book out so you can have the full story.
As I read the book, Lolita written by Vladimir Nabokov it brings to mind that he was a brilliant man. I see his deep insight to the psychological profile and in-depth understanding of a young girl. Most of us would read his book and only see him as a pervert. The story I am writing will parallel his in many ways. We will study the life of Sara and see how it coincides with the original story by Vladimir Nabokov.
Psychiatrists and Psychologist should have studied his understanding of Lolita so they could understand not only why he was drawn to Lolita but why she manipulated him and how come. Any investigation into his writings would have revealed the truth in his statement about her behavior. There are some young girls, I prefer to call them, young women, who are rather young according to their physical age and size but very mature in their perspective on life and sex in general. You may ask, “How can this be?” They are young and have no knowledge of sex or how to make a man yield to them, but is this fact or assumption? Friend you are sadly mistaken. This young women Vladimir spoke of is real and they do as he says. Some men, and I seem to be one of them, can pick them out from a crowd.
I have taken note on how a young woman looks at me when there are several men in the room. It is as if we can read each other’s mind and know what the other wants. I thought, at first it was just me, but over the years, I have recalled how a young woman will look directly into my eyes and smile. Not a “hi” smile but one of “want me?”
We are so set in our ways and thinking we cannot see the forest for the trees, as the saying goes. We want to set all children on a pedestal and we cannot imagine one wanting sex at such an early age. As you read this book, you will see they do know what they want and how to get it but when confronted with exposure they will totally deny their part. However, if they understood they would not be punished or admonished, the story they would tell would be much different from the one they will give to cover their own desires and wants.
If they were told they would be free of punishment and convinced that they would be treated honestly and without ridicule, I believe they would tell stories like the one you will read here.
Here is a young lady who found someone she wanted and did everything she wanted so she could have him. Scared, yes, knowing it was wrong, yes, but willing to face all the problems it brought, she sought and accomplished what she desired just to have her desires fulfilled. Call it love if you like, maybe in a way it is, but simple lust would be more to the correct analyzation of her feelings and of her lovers.
I see a young girl who is in deep need of love. One who would do whatever she thought necessary to feel wanted and cared for. We forget the things we did as children and how we manipulated our parents and how we did all the things we could to get our way.
Look deeply at Vladimir and you will see a man who saw in Lolita the need for love. He also, and I assume this because it is how I felt growing up; felt that the only way to give her love was by sexual means. For many years I felt the only way to make a female happy was to be sexual with her. I have learned over the years that love has nothing to do with sex. It is a caring relationship that is, in most cases, undeserved. It is where someone does everything in their power to make someone else happy and to make their life seem fulfilled.
If you read his book and look at it from the stand point that they were both manipulating each other and not that she, as a young girl was innocent of any wrong doing, you will get a better picture of the two people involved in the story. We all have a tendency to think Lolita was the victim of Vladimir but look closely and you will see a young girl who saw what he wanted and to get the feelings of being taken care of; she was willing to do what was necessary to fulfill those wants.
As we study the life of Sara you will see also in her life she needed someone to love her. She was angry with her Mom, as Lolita was, and in both cases, they took away the lover of their mom’s. Both may have thought they had driven their fathers away and thought this was a way to get back at them. It gave them a sense of victory and the feeling of someone caring more for them than anyone else. A feeling of revenge fulfilled. By taking their Mom’s lover, they saw a fantasy love that made them feel complete and wanted.
It elevated their feelings and made life more bearable. They too, just like Vladimir, were confused as to what real love is. They did not see the immorality of what they were doing nor did they want to let go of the one they loved. If he wanted their body or wanted sex, they went along with it so they would assure themselves and maintain the feeling of being wanted and loved.
Nevertheless, let us go now to Sara’s story and see if what I am telling is fact or fiction. Remember when young girls are caught having sex with an older person, they will do whatever is necessary to be innocent of any wrongdoing. It would take some deep probing to get one to actually confess to wanting to have sex when they are constantly being told it is wrong and they think of the punishment that would come if they actually told they wanted sex or that they were in love with the person they were having sex with. A deeper study would bring to light that when a man is sexually involved with a young girl, there are two involved. In most cases, if the girl knew she wasn’t going to be punished, she would tell of the love she thought was being given her and maybe we could help not only the man but the girl also to understand the real meaning of love.
The Younger Years
I was 6 years old when I found I was in love with my uncle. I had thought back over the years but they are sketchily at best. I think in my earlier years, my uncle may have been doing sexual things to my body even before that time. Sometimes I believe he may have done things to me when I was a baby but let’s not speculate but deal with the real things that I do recall. Most of my life I have felt lonely and in need of love. When my uncle showed me that love, I wanted to do anything he wanted to keep it. I can remember feeling I was more loved by him than my Mom because he would hold me and tell me how he loved me when we were alone.
It all began when I was 8 years old and continued until he passed away. We had not had any sex other than him kissing my body all over and making me feel elated. I felt a deep loss and a need for me to be fulfilled in sex. When I was 13, I let the boy next door take my virginity just so I could imagine how it would have felt if my uncle had taken me. It wasn’t a good time for he didn’t relay the care and concern I needed. He only did what he wanted to satisfy himself and left me wanting even more. I suppose it was because he was young and so was I that neither one of us knew how to satisfy the other.
I can recall the first time he, my uncle, touched me. The deep feelings inside me that made me long to have sex with him. He had asked me to stop by and watch cartoons with him after school. As we sat there, side by side, he slowly put his hand on my leg and when I didn’t move or try to move his hand, he slowly moved it up my leg. It was an exciting time for me. It made my stomach feel all woozy and funny. It made me feel things I had never felt before. Things I can only imagine that my mom had felt when he had put his hand on her leg.
I did not try to stop him so he finally put his hand between my legs and moved his finger up against my vagina. It was having a tremendous effect on me and as I started to squirm, I could feel my panties getting damp. He then moved his finger inside my panties and I could feel his finger against my bare skin. It was like a dream come true. He massaged me between my legs until he felt my body quiver. At that point, he stopped and just held me. I was in heaven as he pulled me close to him and I felt the warmth of his arms around me. I had visions of it being my dad and also of it being my uncle.
The next time I came by, the next day, he didn’t bother to turn on the Television at all he simply set down beside me and started running his hand up and down my leg. I lay back on the couch so he could get his hand between my legs easier. This must have really told him I wanted what he was doing to me. I saw his manhood rising in his trousers. I let my hand down so it rested on him and he moved his hand up and started pulling down my panties.
I lifted my bottom so he could easily slide them off. I asked him if it was the same when he did this to my mom. He was a bit shocked at these remarks.
“Have you seen your mom and me together?” It was almost an inaudible question.
“Oh yes, I used to watch you all the time. I didn’t think I would ever be able to enjoy what I saw her enjoying. I have wanted you to touch me ever sense I first saw you putting your penis into her. I wanted to feel what she was feeling. I was so lonely to have you touch me that I would cry in bed at night longing for you to come to me.”
“Why didn’t you say something earlier my Pet?”
“I was so afraid you won’t want to that I felt it was better to be able to watch you than to lose the opportunity to be with you. Then when you asked me to come by and then I felt your hand on my leg, it was like a dream come true. I have waited and longed to have you touch me Uncle and now it is happening. Are you going to put your penis into me now?”
“I don’t think you’re old enough and it would hurt you tremendously. We can try but I am reasonably sure it isn’t going to happen soon.
“Oh please try. I won’t tell anyone. I so want to feel what my mom has been feeling.”
He moved his hand up between my legs and massaged my vagina for a long time. It got all wet and I was so excited I came twice. I couldn’t understand what was happening inside me at first, not until he explained what was going on inside me but it felt so very wonderful. He then slid between my legs and moved his penis up against my vagina. I could feel it trying to open me up but it was too big. He didn’t try to push really hard so it would not hurt me. He stopped and I thought he had given up but he moved his head down between my legs and kissed me. I could never explain what wonderful feelings went through my body at the time. He then started to lick me and move his tongue into me. It was so wonderful and so exciting I didn’t want him to ever stop.
The next time I came by he had tried once again to put his penis into me he asked if I would like to hold his penis in my hand. It was a new experience for me, one that made me feel even more in control. I felt the warmth of his hard penis in my hand.
He put his hand on mine and showed me how to move it up and down the shaft. I could feel things happening in his body and then suddenly this white stuff came shooting out. At first, I thought I had hurt him or something. He assured me I had just made him very happy.
On the next visit as we were going though our routine, he asked if I would like to put his penis in my mouth. I had seen mom doing this for him and had often thought how it tasted or for that matter, how it felt to have his manhood inside my mouth. Since I was too small to take it in my vagina, I thought how great it would be to have it somewhere inside me.
As I moved over closer to him, he started to play with me between my legs and then he lifted me up so he could lie under me. As I was facing his feet, his penis was right in front of me. I wasn’t sure what to do so I just opened my mouth and let it slide into my mouth. I felt his mouth between my legs and I was so excited I came. He told me to move my mouth up and down his penis and it would be like it going in and out of my vagina. As I slowly moved my head up and down I could once again feel his body, as it was getting ready to explode. He asked if I wanted to take his cum into my mouth or let it go onto my body. I had no idea what it would taste like or what would for that matter even happen so I told him to go ahead.
It startled me at first when his cum started to flow into my mouth but I found I liked the taste and tried not to loose a drop. I had seen my mom take his cum into her mouth and it seemed to please her no end.
“Uncle I have seen you take your penis and stick in into my mom’s anal area. Do you put it inside there also?”
“You must have watched us for a very long time my Dear. Your mom is a wonderful woman and likes sex of all kinds. Yes, I have done it with her in her anal. She seemed to like that as much as regular sex.”
“Can you try to put it into me there since we aren’t able to do it the other way?”
“I think we will have the same problem but we can try. You are so much more beautiful than your mom and I love you so much I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you, Sara.”
I bent over on the couch and put my ass into the air for him to get to it. He stood up and moved behind me and I felt his penis as it was pushed up against me. I could feel it going in a very small amount and was I was hoping that at last I would know how it felt to have him inside me. He got the head in but the pain was too much for me so he stopped and told me we could try it each day and see if he could get it into me.
I was so excited at the proposal of having him each day pushing his penis into my anal I came. Each day it went in just a little further. He had gotten some ointment to make it easier for us to have sex this way. It was several weeks before it went in any amount but it felt so good to me. I was happy to feel his cum going into me I could hardly stand it. It would be several years before he actually got his penis inside me enough to break my cherry, but unfortunately, that time never arrived.
When my Mom found out he was taking care of my wants she forbade me to see him. We continued to meet and stay involve when she was not home. It made me feel I had a power over him and that I was taking him away from Mom.
It was only a few months after she had found out that he died of a heart attack. It was a sad day in my life and I felt cheated of the only love I had ever known. My mom didn’t speak of him but I heard her crying one night and went in and she told me how much she had loved my uncle. She also told me she had learned what we had been doing and she was glad I had gotten to know him as she had.
After that my mom would let me come into the bedroom with her boy friend’s if I wanted. She never complained if I wanted to suck them or let them try to have sex with me in any way. She became my best friend and eventually we shared all our loves together. I would bring home a boy friend and the next thing he knew she would be in bed with us. It scared them out of their wits the first time but when we told them we shared all our loves they warmed up and were happy to have sex with whichever one was home when they came by. Most wanted to make sure we were both there for double the pleasure.
I do not regret having this relationship with my mom. The only thing I really regret is never having known how it would be for my uncle to have known me completely. Even though I was completely dissatisfied with my first experience, I was glad I didn’t give up and that my mom supported me in all that I did.