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please no harsh words if u dont like it dont read it
It was a warm summer afternoon when sylena, a freshmen at somerset high school, was walking home from school. her path included a small forest in which she had walked hundreds of times but today for some reason she fell. but he moved in faster then light to grab her before she fell. him being victor a young vampire. he slowly caressed her neck with his fangs and then gently bit into the young women's tender flesh. sylena went unconscious and when she awoke she was naked on the bed of the vampire who had just turned her into a monster like him, and yet she wanted him regardless of what he had done to her she wanted him inside of her. victor could sense that his new companion was awake now so he walked in to their bedroom to great her. before he could even say hello she was on him taking of his clothes and while she was doing that victor began to finger his new lover until she stopped and shuddered having came from his touch. after she had striped him she jumped on to his rock hard cock and began bouncing up and down on it as though there was no tomorrow she came several more times that night and by the end they were holding each other in there arms as lovers. the next morning they awoke and fucked again for hours victor rammed his hard cock slowly in and out of sylena's tight wet cunt. she moaned in ecstasy with every thrust. after the finished they showered and laid in bed together naked. victor lent over and kissed her mouth, there tongues dancing together. then he kissed her neck and continued kissing until he got to her pussy he took her clit into his mouth and sylena squirted her hot juice onto him over and over until he finally released her clit from his mouth. they lay in bed together for 2 weeks fucking almost every hour and doing other things more often. they fucked like animals for those few weeks victor would be passionate but sylena loved it rough. they soon left to feed and found a beautiful woman and decided to bring her home. sylena stripped her and began to eat her tight pussy then victor came up and shoved his cock into sylena from behind. he fucked until they came together then the woman came and licked out sylenas pussy and her and sylena double teamed cleaning victors huge cock until he was hard again. then sylena guided his long cock into the woman. victor fucked her hard and when he got close to cuming he bit her neck and drank then sylena bit the other side and drank. in about 5 minutes victor had cum and the woman had died. victor and sylena lay in each others arms for 2 weeks not moving at all just staying in each others embrace. then as the third week approached they heard a knock at the door sylena got up and answered it. the people at the door were a group of women who were lost. sylena invited them in and told them to undress. then sylena came and jumped on one of the women's face and told her to tongue fuck her until she squirted onto her friends. after almost an hour this happened. victor soon walked in and fucked sylena hard. once they were done the women licked them clean and asked if victor would fuck them. sylena jumped up and hissed at the women telling them to stay away from her mate. victor laid her down and began to eat her out. she came almost instantly from the pressure of his tongue on her clit. he ate her for 2 days, she came over 400 times. they fucked sucked and licked each other for months sucking the women dry for energy.

thank you for reading i really hoped you enjoyed the story and i want to thank my future wife sylena for all of her inspiration in this story.

any suggestions please comment bellow just don't be rude if you didn't like it then why would you read the whole thing.

anonymous readerReport

2013-03-22 19:21:45
Yeah, you need to use punctuation, and give more details.

anonymous readerReport

2013-03-16 02:48:30
O.o.... my constructive criticism: Redo and actually try. You included few details to anything. You used punctuation and capitalization only where it suited you... I mean, I don't even know where else to start...

anonymous readerReport

2013-03-16 02:39:01
No no no. It needs more detail. More lure and attraction. Please redo this story. I know you can just take your time and think. I know the men and women here want to crave it was them. In this it was a no no no....!!!!

anonymous readerReport

2013-03-16 02:03:12
Okay to the first comment, thank you for being a sterotypical idiot. Personally to start out with you do need to introduce the characters, you should try to improve your grammar because it allows for the story to flow together better without have to auto-correct every sentence. Choosing where your deive is also key, saying she stripped him quickly as his hands roamed down her stomach to finger her sounds better than "she was on him taking of his clothes and while she was doing that victor began to finger his new lover"
Good idea though and I love the idea of where this could go if re-written, you may also want to consider paragraphs to make it easier to read


anonymous readerReport

2013-03-15 15:52:08
sort of childish but a good first try

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