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thsi ismy fisrt story and i will continue just wanted to put this out there so i can get some feedback on how i should continue
Monster High pt.1

My name is Kingsley and I wish I could say that I was an average guy about to start his first day at normal high school. The sad reality is that I don’t the correct word for what I am in English is a monster I know because of movies like twilight and shows like teen wolf you will immediately think that I am a werewolf or a vampire but I’m not even something remotely as cool. My dad is cool he is just bones and takes people to hell when they die if you haven’t already figured it out I’m the grim reapers son. No I am not all bones there is some meat on these bones. I happen to be black because my dad has a thing for black girls this I don’t really understand but hey whatever floats your boat. All grim Reapers get to choose their appearance when the last one dies and they become the new one. That is where the legend of hades comes from he got tired of the bones thing and chose to become the god of the underworld and I personally think that is great. I mean who wants to be all bones have immense power and then be nobody, not me, simply because I am already nobody I have no powers until the day my father dies which is really stupid. He thinks that the world revolves around him that he can do whatever he wants and he tells me on a daily basis that I’ll never get my powers because he will never die. He will die eventually and you’d think that he wouldn’t have time to ridicule me because he has grim reaper duties that he has to attend to but no, he as the grim reaper has the ability to create minions to do his work for him. When I become the grim reaper the first thing I would do is change the name to something cooler and shorter like just Reaper I mean why does he have to be grim. My school is called monster high and from what I have heard of this place it is possibly the worst school on the planet and probably is. The whole social system is based on strength. The teaching system is might as well be nonexistent, since no one cares. The teachers all ways give special treatment to those whose parents are leaders in the world like the zombie kings son the pharaohs kids the werewolf alphas and the future vampire coven leaders. Guys like me with no power, average looks, and one friend are the kids that get slaughtered by the gangs and other criminal organizations because the only way to get into these gangs is to kill one random monster and seeing as I have no power I’m pretty sure I’m on top of everyone’s list. The criminal organizations are the human ones I mean who really thought that humans are strong enough to control entire cities with an iron fist. To describe myself I’m only 5’5 as a freshman and yes that is short for a black kid. The worst part is that I have always been short before eighth grade I was 4’10. One of the shortest kids in my class and had a napoleon complex which didn’t help because I had no powers. I just grew this summer and I’m sure it is not going to help because all the kids who were tall already will have gotten taller. My best friend’s name is Kevin and he happens to be a werewolf. Now I know what you are thinking if he’s a werewolf why isn’t he popular and have tons of friends because aren’t all werewolves strong. To answer that question yes and no. yes all werewolves are strong and no he is not popular simply because he and his family are omegas they don’t have a pack which in turn makes them weaker. Kevin is Peruvian and he loves to let people know about his heritage, he is about the same height as me and has a natural tan like the guys from jersey shores fake ones. He doesn’t talk much and tends to be used by girls. Kevin and I are best friends because we look out for one another if one of us gets in a fight both of us get in a fight we are like brothers. Kevin has one other friend and that Paris the succubus even though I always tell her that I hate her guts. I am secretly in love with her she sticks to Kevin like a glove because she is in love with him and even though he is my best friend I will never know why she loves him. Kevin stays away from her because he knows how I feel and would never break the best friend code. Paris is 5’3 and is beautiful she has light brown curly hair down to her ass which is a perfectly round apple bottom and she has 38D’s I know I had Kevin ask her and she will tells Kevin anything. She is hilarious she thinks of things to do that no one would think of. She thinks that Kevin is her one true mate which is what every succubus is trying to find and the only way to know is by letting her kiss you. The good part is that she kisses you the bad part is that if you’re not her one true love you’ll be her slave until the she dies unless she releases you. I’m not willing to risk it so I’m going to just bide my time and hope that one day shell feel the same way I do. Enough with the introductions Kevin, Paris and I are about to embark on what could be our worst nightmare monster high.

Anonymous readerReport

2014-09-15 09:00:21
I'm not sure if you are still considering writing the next chapter as its been a while since you posted this story, but if you are and not sure where to take it try writing it like an anime plot. Main character is weak but finds a teacher or some kind of guide and trains to become stronger while pursuing his "love" or you can go with the more American style where through crazy happenstance he gains power after some major event and proceeds to flip the status quo. All in all please keep writing, i think you have a good story here.

Anonymous readerReport

2014-06-21 16:10:51
Oh look! The grammar nazi trolls are back! Why dont you go crawl back under your bridges? For future reference, i know of some bridges here in las vegas that are lacking in trolls!

anonymous readerReport

2013-07-13 17:43:10
"Juvenile lameness of making the tiny teen girl have huge boobs"...
I don't know who wrote that, but I owe him a drink!!!
Can you get any sillier?
Yes, u should work on grammar, and the general structure. I mean, reading a good story that is poorly written is like finding out the girl u've always lusted after has a medical condition which makes her in
constant need of a tampon!!!
Yes! It's gross. I know.
And to the retard who told us kind civilians, who actually give a shit about the writer and not just his work, to "fuck off"; You, sir, are a proper bufoon!

Oh... Did I mention I like where your head is at? It's a great idea. Plenty of room 2 fuck this up, but, I sure as hell hope u don't.

I'll stick around 4 the next chapter.

anonymous readerReport

2013-07-11 04:45:28
Hey grammer pricks fuck off....shit you ptobably have worse spelling so stop fucking hating us different people or just die

anonymous readerReport

2013-07-09 22:59:20
Set up for the story was pretty good except for the racist remark implying all blacks are tall, and the juvenile lameness of making the tiny teen girl have big boobs. Makes me think your age is probably closer to 15. Also try using spellcheck.

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