"My Sister Teaches Me"
13 July 1969
It was the beginning of December. A lot of raining outside. Tired after another
long night of hacking I was very reluctant to get out of my den. I looked
through the window to check if the new parabolic antenna from accross the street
had a different tilting. The big black cable was still in place, no traces of
I was thinking about those "0-day" vulnerabilities. They call them "0-day" for
the number of days that have passed after the fix is released. They had no clue.
They sold them and traded them for fun and profit and they still do. Large
companies buy this kind of information to control the market and obtain a
strategic advantage over their competitors. Clueless ignorance! It is the
pleasure of finding things out that makes the difference!
I go back to my chair and pour another drop of brandy. I cannot afford an extra
old edition but this is quite an enchanting taste from Australia. It smells like
chocolate and sandal wood. A stranger slowly walks down the street using a black
umbrella. He doesn't have sunglasses, so all is safe.
I need to focus. I gave up sending lamers back to school since 1969, but this is
interesting. I found "+OWK". I thought he died in Egypt studying heraldics and
UFOs. You know, the "Old Wood Kracker" who wrote most of those pleasurable
reverse engineering tutorials. Nobody actually realized that "R" stands for
"cauta, cauta" and that "the legend of the pink cross" is an anime collection.
He's a funny, walking encyclopedia of anything and everything. But this is not
what this is about. I found a website in China selling a DVD which teaches women
how to control their husbands. I carefully studied the deion and it was
just another covert way of saying that "the human animal can be trained like a
dog". What a mess.
This is so bad I close the winkey_NSA() api from my debugger and hit Ctrl-D. I
wrote my own debugger after reverse engineering the last "crackme" from Claude.
I had to. It was nothing spooky on the DVD but it was too impersonal: "she has
to be cold and careless, and always control the tone of her voice. There are no
chains and wipes, but the lashes are made of psychological pain carefully
inflicted with surgical precision".
This is bad, I can't focus. It reminds me of her. I was about to create a .GPG
file which zeroes out the free space from Claude's harddisk and checks for
memory errors. So many tricks to do and I can't get her of my mind.
But how can I tell her? She has small brown eyes and a long, simple red hair.
She doesn't care too much about her looks, but she is gorgeous. There is no way
I can tell her, and I keep erasing possible clues so that she doesn't find out
by herself. I'm careful and precise, there is no room for mistake. When I stare
at her I always get the feeling that she knows. It's overwhelming but there's no
grin on my face. I just keep on going.
Suddenly the door behind my back opens and she's in. How convenient! I didn't
have the time to react and look back. She came to get some books from the
library she keeps here and wanted to check what I'm doing. No call, no warning.
I was very embarassed about my thoughts and I completely forgot about the
-- Hey bro, what's up?
-- Umm.... Hi, nothing, just the same old..
-- You're not doing something illegal again, isn't it?
-- No... well.. that depends on the user perspective.
-- I don't want you get caught, you waste all nights with these machines and
you don't have time to live your life. When was it the last time you got out?
I was annoyed.
-- From the house?
-- .. with somebody?
-- Look, there is no reason to start this.
-- I know.
-- You know?
-- Yes. This is why I am here.
I was scared. I felt a weakness in my knees. We always had this conversation
about me and life and the outside world but this is the first time that she does
not want to. What did she find out? Did I get sloppy? I prepare myself for two
"uncontrolled" tornados spinning in opposite direction and "pressing" each
other, just like two space and time blackholes from TV. Remembering about the
computer display behind my neck I start thinking how unlikely it is that she
missed it. This is it! An interesting feeling to explore and I still wonder if
she had surgically planned this vulnerability all along.
She gets closer and keeps gazing into my eyes. I feel my stomach implode and I
completely forget that I am still online in a foreign country. I was terrified
and I couldn't care less. She takes my hand and brings me to the sofa. I notice
some books about parapsychology on the table but I don't have the time to see
-- Sit - she sais.
So I did.
-- No, not there. Down!
That moment I felt so lost and helpless that I did. I was expecting the worst
nightmares to come true. She brings a small chair for me to sit down near the
sofa. She carefully guides me to sit down with my back towards the sofa. It was
so cool to feel powerless but I took the time to look on the computer screen:
the screensaver! Pheuh! I felt such a relief.
Next she sits down on the sofa right behind my back. I can't see her. I want to
turn around but she stops me. "Do not look. Close your eyes. Stretch your legs
together and relax". I could only hear her breath and whispering. She gently
hugs me from behind by putting her right hand palm accross my left breast, her
arm across my chest. She leans forward over my back and firmly rests her left
hand palm on my left shoulder. I felt tears in my eyes for some reason; we sit
like that for a while.
I lost all control. I lost the notion of time. I lost the notion of space. I
didn't know where I was. It was so quiet and peaceful. I was aroused without
being aroused! That was a fantastic feeling. My hands were hanging down
powerless. I wanted to spread them and take off. What was she whispering? I
didn't know but I could certainly feel it. What was it? I felt my entire
universe inside her. I could fly without wings. She was experiencing waves of
joy and I was there to feel them. To live them! She was my happy universe! How
come? I started to hear and feel her heartbeats. Every heartbeat made my entire
body gently tremble. It was so extatic!
We sat like that forever. She was a little bit tired and I felt it, so I put my
palm on her knee. She smiled and stopped. I wanted to whisper "Thank You" and I
kissed her knee.
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