It’s an odd sensation when you feel the end of existence going on all around you. Helpless. Desperate. Inevitable. My fault.
Entirely my fault. The universe was about to implode. Explode. Evolve. Devolve. Dissolve. Hell, I didn’t know. Everything was happening too fast. I had released Resurrection from the physical prison called Lillian Lazarus and now she was devouring the universe, which I now realize isn’t that hard if you aren’t restricted by Einstein’s childish theorems concerning speed of light travel and time. Speed of light isn’t all that fast when traveling across the universe. Speed of light cubed cubed is starting to closer to the speed necessary for nearly instantaneous travel across time and space. A being with mass cannot travel like that, but a thought can. Much faster in fact. Humankind’s understand of physics is laughably simple. Time doesn’t run in a line like a train traveling down a track. Time runs in every direction from every point of existence until it folds back on itself over and over and over. I knew what Lazarus was doing because she and I were connected on so many planes of existence I could see it all for myself. I had a hard time differentiating where she began and I left off.
All life on Earth was snuffed out in an instant. The Earth itself was unmade. So were the solar system and the Milky Way Galaxy. As Lazarus spread her thought form throughout time and space, everything she touched became unmade, no longer existing except as energy. The energy itself only remained as a memory of itself. Matter was non-existent. All that remained behind were eddies of energy that swirled and danced; wisps of fog and light representing all of time and space. Breathtakingly beautiful, it was the face of God. At the same time it was absolutely horrifying. I was nearly catatonic from the horror of knowing that I was the instrument of destruction and the bringer of the End of Days. Judgment was upon us. Judgment was my name. Judgment was my reason to exist.
It was all too much. I just couldn’t take it anymore. In desperation I acted.
“STOP!!!!!!!!” I shouted. “JUST STOPPPPPP!” Everything did. Existence stopped. Time stopped. All energy stopped. But I didn’t stop. I was still self-aware. You have no idea how quiet the universe gets when you suddenly cease literally everything. I expanded my thought until I had all of Lillian Lazarus’ resurrection surrounded. With another thought I then compressed her form until she was the same size she had been when I released her from her human bondage. Just like returning my grandfather back to his earthly body, I returned Lillian to hers. Before I relaxed my grip on her, I did remove all of her powers over time and space and placed them in a grain of sand that I cast into a black hole on the far side of the universe. “Find those, bitch,” I chuckled to myself.
“Ok, resume.” The universe was back to its noisy vibrant, entropic self. Ahhhhh! Normal. It only took a thought to undo what Lillian had done.
“You did it to me again!” screamed Lillian. “Why did you do it AGAIN, Delgado? WHHHHHHYYYYYY!?” Lillian started to sob. Soul wrenching sobs that almost tugged at my heart. Almost. “God damn YOU!” she screamed. “God DAMN you!”
“I don’t think He can,” I smiled. “At least not without my permission.”
“Oh I HATE this part,” she protested. Then she gathered herself and took a seat. As human beings go, Lillian Lazarus without the power to end all existence was an attractive one. Perpetually 30 years old, her breasts were high and firm without the need or restriction of a bra. Her stomach was taut beneath her white silk blouse. The flare of her hips in her short black designer skirt told of her skill as a lover. Her long legs were toned and encased in shear black stockings with a seam running perfectly straight from her heals to her ass in the back. “Now I have to spend the next several million years searching every black hole in the universe for all of my powers again, don’t I?”
“Dammit Delgado! You do the same thing every time. You let me get about half the universe unmade and then you do that same damn thing with your thought and we are right back to square one for another age. Oh well, I guess we should get the next part over with.” She stood up and unzipped the side of her skirt and slipped it down her hips to the floor. Her stockings were attached to a black garter and her pussy was swollen with anticipation. She wasn’t wearing any panties. My cock responded against my wishes. She was a damn fine looking woman. And if she was the Alpha and I the Omega, then our union was as natural as the earth traveling around the sun.
“I’ll have to admit, this part makes losing to you every time nearly bearable.” She slowly unbuttoned her blouse, revealing her firm breasts with their dark erect nipples. She walked across the room and knelt before me, rubbing her hands on my thighs. As her thumbs rubbed over my hardness behind my pants; my reluctance to have sex with this woman was dissolving. She had been repulsive just moments before and now she was irresistible. I didn’t object when she loosened my linen beach pants and let them drop to the floor in a puddle around my feet. My cock sprang out, unrestricted by underwear. She swallowed it in one swift gulp, her nose pressed firmly against my stomach. She milked my cock with her throat, driving my pleasure centers into overdrive. I grasped the back of her head and started to fuck her mouth. She accepted my thrusts willingly, the ultimate cock slut. I could hear her gurgling as the amount of saliva built up. I lost control and slammed my cock deep into her throat and started pumping a huge load of cum down into her stomach. This caused her to orgasm as well. She kept my cock deep in her throat, milking it with her throat muscles. I was still rock hard when I finally withdrew it. I swept her up and laid her back on the couch she had been sitting on before she unmade the universe. I knelt between her legs and guided her heels up to my shoulders. I thrust into her hot canal with a vicious thrust. She came with that thrust and every other. I pounded away at her, merciless and brutal. She kept climaxing, one piling on the other. We fucked like we invented it. We fucked like only two beings who are destined to be together through eternity could fuck. I could feel my orgasm rising and I didn’t try to stop it. I was already jarring her hips with every thrust and seeing her breasts heave from the constant barrage. I let my juices flow, filling her hole and still I pounded away. Now she was slick and so engorged that her cunt spread open, red and swollen. I thought I could see her heart beats in the throbbing of her labia. I withdrew my gooey rod, still hard as a rail spike. I pressed her ankles closer to her ears and her ass rolled up to meet my cock. I didn’t even dampen her hole before I thrust my twice-spent erection into her rectum. She screamed in pain and pleasure, trying hard to accommodate my remaining sexual wants.
I started by fucking her ass. But my cock was beginning to get sore and I picked up the pace until I was reaming her ass out with my fuck tool. As I thrust in, my cock pressed against the inside of her pussy obscenely. I could see it forcing her cunt around from her anal cavity. She gripped the edge of the couch and threw her head back and bit her bottom lip. But she didn’t try to get me to stop. I could tell this was hurting her, but I didn’t care. I kept pounding away at her angry red asshole until I finally had enough and bathed the inside of her colon with my final load of cum for the day.
I withdrew my spent rod, amazed at how firm it remained. Lillian Lazarus slowly lowered her legs, carefully keeping her ass from contacting the couch.
“That just gets better every time, Sheppard. I just love that part.” She lay there and gulped in great quantities of oxygen.
“Now you can give me some answers,” I stated with a warning tone.
“Don’t worry Shep, I already know all the questions. What I don’t get is why you don’t remember the answers from one millennia to the next. And why do you go through the whole life and death cycle time after time? Aren’t you tired of always growing old and dying? It’s got to be getting old.” She could see the puzzled look on my face.
“No Shep, you are not THE God. You’re not even A god. You are the corporal manifestation of a universal energy source. You are a tool of God, just like I am. You and about two hundred other beings throughout the universe. You exist for a single purpose, to bring about the end of existence and the creation of a new universe.”
I still must have looked dense.
“You are the BIG BANG, you transcendental idiot!” She shook her head. “And no, the Big Bang did not create the universe. The Big Bang JUDGES the universe, and then the Big Bang allows the universe to exist. Again. And then I spend a million eternities trying to unmake it. It’s what we do. Why do you keep coming back as a human? And why do you keep chasing that same human girl?”
“What does Ellie have to do with all this?” I asked. Ellie was the girl I loved with all my heart. I would move the heavens and earth for her. Apparently I just did.
“I don’t know, Shep. You are the one that lives same single lifetime over and over so that you two can always be together, time and time again. It’s so sad and desperate really.”
I shook my head, it was all too much to take in at once.
“Seriously Shep, next time you should come back as a Buddhist and spend a lifetime or two contemplating your role in the existence of God. You remember there is no human God, right? God is a deity of human construct to allow primitive people to have some higher power to cling to. It gives them something stable to base their beliefs on until they can reach the next level of evolution. Human beings have as much understanding of God as an amoeba understands rocket science.
I was seriously considering ending her existence right then and there.
“Delgado, you can’t destroy me any more than you can destroy yourself. If you remove this body from existence, my ethereal form can wander around the universe until I find that damn black hole you threw my powers in. If you leave me in this body, I will have to wait until if finally decays enough to release me. Either way, in a million years or so we will be right back where we started. Meanwhile, you and Ellie are going to raise children and live a life of love and fulfillment. Then you will die and be reborn and start all over. Over and over and over and over. In a million years or a billion or a trillion, we will dance this dance again. Why don’t you remember this? It’s in your power to remember it. It’s in your power to see when we will do this all over again.”
“Are you saying we are trapped in an infinite loop?”
“No, not yet. It’s only been a hundred millennia since the last unmaking. This is the Seventh Age. We were about to embark on the Eighth, but you interrupted. Again. Ever since you took a human form and met that Ellie Windstrom, you’ve been reliving the same life over and over.”
“Could Ellie and I be together in the Eighth Age?”
“The Age of Atonement? No. It wouldn’t be possible.”
“Why wouldn’t it be possible? Aren’t all things possible?”
“My dear Sheppard, you lovely frail creature. It wouldn’t be possible because we won’t BE any more. Nothing will.”
“If we are going to cease to exist, why would I want to ever allow the Age of Atonement?”
“I didn’t say we would cease to exist. I said we won’t BE. There are rules that apply, even to God. One of the big ones is that no matter how unconnected things become, they still have to exist. But in the Age of Atonement, there will be no separation between anything. Not matter, not energy, not emotion, not life or death, awareness and ignorance. Not even time. We will all become of God. Everything will return to the creator.”
“And then what?”
“Then? Who knows? God doesn’t know, I’m sure. Maybe a never ending cosmic orgasm. Maybe just a few billion years of being blissfully unaware. Maybe in half a second we all burst forth to do it all over. That’s the best part, the not knowing.”
“So we could all just be dead and we would never know?”
“No that’s not how it works. When a human being dies, the life energy, the soul lives on. The atoms that make up the molecules remain. The energy that makes up the atoms lives on. It just becomes more diffuse. Then it all comes together again in another form and it all starts over.”
“You seem to know a lot…..” I began. She looked at me like she knew a trick question was coming. “So what was here before God?”
“Can you give me a straight answer?”
“God IS. When there is nothing, God IS. When there is everything. God IS. It’s that simple.”
“Ok, that’s enough.” While we were talking I was fully aware of our nudity. Lillian was a damn fine woman and I found that saving the universe and reversing the apocalypse had made me quite horny again. Lillian took notice. She rolled off the couch and knee-walked around until she was between my thighs. She dropped her mouth over my cock and took it all the way to the back of her throat in a single gulp. She bobbed her head just enough for the head of my cock to enter her throat and then out enough so that she could breathe through her nose. I squeezed my knees together enough to feel the warmth of her firm breast on the inside of my legs. She jack hammered my cock until I was just ready to cum then she squeezed off the base of my cock with her hand and pulled her mouth of with a wet pop. I ached from the bottom of my balls to the head of my cock as my orgasm had nowhere to go. Lillian stood up and straddled my legs, first one and then the other. She guided my sopping wet cock into her equally moist pussy and slowly lowered herself. She leaned back, putting her hands on my knees and arching her back so that I could easily see my cock disappearing into her sex as she rode me. She was slick from the earlier cum in her quim and she was hotter than hell. It was glorious! I grabbed her around the waist and helped her pick up the pace. In a few minutes I was ready to blast my ballast into her hold, but she put another death grip on my cock and thwarted me yet again.
“What the hell, Lillian?”
“This will be the last time for a millennium, Sheppard. I want to make it last.”
“How can you be so sure?”
She cupped my face with both of her hands and gave me a deep kiss. “Because loverboy, after this I will be pregnant again and you will be your own great, great, great, great grandfather. It’s how our destinies work. In a couple million years we meet again and try to end the universe. It’s what we do.”
She lowered her cunt onto my cock yet again and this time she fucked me with a purpose. Twice cut off, I was in full boil in no time. I locked my hands to her hips and started pounding up into her cunt as she hammered down onto my pelvis. She wasn’t going to get away this time. Her orgasm matched mine in both intensity and duration. We flooded each other with our natural juices. I was totally spent. I didn’t protest when Lillian collapsed against me, breasts heaving with each gasping breath. I could feel her cunt quivering around my shaft, milking the last drops of cum and pulling them deeper. I knew her boast that I was my own ancestor was no boast. It made sense in a perverse, the universe is fucked up and God has a warped sense of humor, sort of way.
When I was fully rested, I rolled Lillian off of me and pulled on my pants and shirt and wandered away. I returned to my Ellie’s side and never left it again for the rest of our lives. Or the next. Or the next. For a million lifetimes we would be born, find each other, fall in love, live our lives, die and do it again. In the meanwhile, Lillian Lazarus would search every black hole in the sky until she found her powers again. I could wait.
Forever, if I could. For as long as Ellie loved me and I loved Ellie, the world would never be unmade.