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Hey guys, first story. My literacy isn't good but my spelling is. This is a story about a teenage boy who heads to a party and end up in a police station. If I get good feedback, then I shall make a part 2
As James puts on his after shave on, which smelt really strong and made girls wet as soon as they smelt it. As he puts it on he notices that his phone was ringing, it was his best mate Terry. Terry decided to shout down the phone to James "A'ight geez(British BTW) you still coming to this party then?" And James sighed while laughing "yeah son don't worry and it's not "A" party, it's "your" party dick head." Terry started laughing down the phone and the shouted "yo we still going to that 'ammers game." When Terry said " 'ammers" he was actually saying "hammers" because he's British. It's a cockney one. The hammers are a football team called "West Ham United" anyway, back to the story. James just sighed and went "of course I am, I bought us both the fucking tickets" and Terry went silent, 4 seconds went by and Terry finally replied "oh yeah, I forgot about that one, anyways get your sexy arse over 'ere and let's eat some pussay!" James muttered "twat" under his breath. As James continued to get ready for the party, he looked at Facebook and a girl he recently asked out called Hannah had put a status saying "gunna hve fun at this prty" James knew they she was a intelligent girl, so he had no idea why she was writing like that. She had changed since she went out with some cunt called David. James and David used to he friends until he asked Hannah out and she said she was with someone else. Well... James found out that it was David who was with her. Tonight James was going to ask Hannah out, he knows there's something wrong with her because he never looks happy with him. James was ready, he double checked his dick for any mishaps, but nope it's was a 12" whistle that was gunna get blown tonight. As James walked to Terry's house, he noticed David and his crew. He then noticed Hannah, David makes her wear the sluttiest stuff. She didn't like it at all. James could see it in her eyes. When James got through the door into Terry's massive house, Terry instantly walked up to James and gave him a beer and said "go on then sexy, go get some pussay!" The thing about James is that he always gets girls, so does David and he does behind Hannah's back, but Terry gets luck now and then, oh don't get me wrong, none of them are virgins. Accept that James wasn't sure about Hannah. As James approached the stairs there was a drunk girl sitting there and James stared at her and that triggered something in her mind, she instantly tried to pull down James jeans. He pulled her to her feet and said "I know someone who can help you, his name is Terry" as he handed her to Terry, he looked at James and has a shocked face "What the fuck James! What did you do too her?" Thinking that James had raped her. James looked confused and went "No you DICKHEAD I told her that you could help her" then James gave Terry a wink and Terry smiled as James walked away then taking a sip of his beer. Then James approached the stairs again, his number one goal was to drain the sea monster. He got to the bathroom door and tried to open it, it was locked then James shouted "hurry up i need a fucking piss!" Then he could hear noises of a man grunting and then a faint voice of a girl saying "like that when I suck your cock" and James said to himself "fuck this shit" then he kicked down the door and the guy shouts "what the fuck is wrong with you nigga" and James said "just because your black doesn't mean you can call everyone that! For fuck sake I'm white!" Then James pushed him off the toilet and flopped his dick out and started pissing in the toilet. He sighed with relief and the girl stood there staring at his dick and muttered "holy fuck" she was surprised how big it was, because the guy she was sucking off had like a 5" dick and he laughed and said "wanna pet my python" she bit her bottom lip and the guy stood up and said "fuck this nigga I'm outta here" and James winked at this blonde, curvy, big breasted girl and said "wanna do this?" She nodded very slowly and then she went towards him and pushed him to the toilet and began sucking his dick, she had it in about halfway as was already choking but she was loving it. Then when James cum in her mouth about ten minutes after she started, he stood up and smacked he arse and walked out. Then he saw Hannah and she smiled and walked towards him and said "come with me, I wanna show you something" and she grabbed him by one hand and lead him to a bedroom that was empty. She stood there kissing him as their tongues rolling around each other's mouths, he then picked her up and she put her legs round his waist and he slammed he up against the wall and she gasped in excitement as then he carried her to the bed, and James decided to ask "are you still a virgin?" Then she pause for about 8 seconds before answering "yes, David never had sex with me but I give him blow jobs to shut him up" James smiled and the way Hannah explained it. Hannah had a model-like body and about a 36D bra size, which seemed too small, that's probably David making her wear it. James kissed her neck and then she whispered into his ear "I'm sorry I didn't say yes, it's just that David scares me and pretty much makes me do anything i actually do, like dress like a slut" and James eyes just stated into hers and he just simply said "I love you and I will never let him touch you" she look surprised and said "I love you too it's just that I didn't think you still liked me" he laughed but sounded like a heavy breath and then he carried on kissing her neck while rubbing her legs, but not her pussy. Then suddenly there was a knock on the door, it was David! James got up and opened the door and just simply said "what do you want" and David shouts in his face insulting him and grabs Hannah's arm and drags her outside and as James walks downstairs about 4 seconds after them he hears some boy saying "that cunts slapping her!" James runs outside and then grand David by the collar and shouts "GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER! You treat her like shit and then expect her to do stuff for you eh?" David laughed and said "she told you she was a virgin didn't she" as James was about to punch David clean in the face Hannah yells "James stop, please take me home" James let go and lowered his fist and then he turned around to look at Hannah and she was nervous about something James asked "what's the matter?" Then David says "we did have sex, it was only once, I pounded her good and hard" James clenched his fist and jaw then David continues "but the thing about her virginity" then he whispered in his ear "I made it move out, if you catch my drift" James just look straight at Hannah who as crying her eyes out and then everyone staring at her knowing she was raped by David and then James turns around and grabs David and pushes him against a car. Then David torments him and says "c'mon lover boy what ya gunna do" and James just shouts out "CUNT" and smashes David's head through the car door window. Then while David lays on the floor covered in blood his friends attempt to help him up and James walks Hannah home and when they reach the door step he kisses her goodnight. Then he walks down the road as the police pull up and arrest him for assault and people report David admitting to rape so he is also arrested.

anonymous readerReport

2013-12-07 04:43:31
Yeah I agree, paragraphs would help, hope you make a second part because i want to see what happens

anonymous readerReport

2013-12-07 04:41:15
Yeah I agree, paragraphs would help, hope you make a second part because i want to see what happens

Bullwinkle J. MooseReport

2013-12-07 00:47:27
Please find somebody to edit for you. It's a good story, just needs some help to make it read easier.

anonymous readerReport

2013-12-06 10:48:24
A massive block of "I refuse to even try to read it" text. Paragraphs are wonderful

anonymous readerReport

2013-12-06 08:03:56
Let paragraphs be your friend. Break your story up a bit it far easier to read.

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