Another story that I hope you will all enjoy. Your comments are welcomed. This is a work of fiction and yet, I wonder how many men...have considered the thoughts of my writing. For that matter...how many women.
Losing a wife to cancer is a painful experience that no one should have to endure. After a long and painful battle, the cancer finally won; my wife had passed away.
I may never forget the morning when I awoke to the soft tapping of raindrops cascading off from my bedroom window. I had slept without the alarm. It was the beginning of a weekend...no alarm was necessary; I wasn't expecting to go into the office. Upon hearing the raindrops, still groggy with sleep...I reached over to the left side of my bed; it was empty. The sheets were cold...the pillow was fluffed. I quickly recoiled my hand...I felt a teardrop forming; my beautiful wife JoLyn was gone. In my bedroom and throughout my entire home, I would be able to remember my wife, our life spent together; photo's and videos and my restless dreams would serve as a reminder of my undying love for her.
My wife was only fifty one years of age...as for myself, I had just turned 53. I considered myself to be young. My wife was more to me, than just being a wife...she was my friend, my fiance', my lover...the mother of our only child. Our time together had been precious. Less than a month ago, she was buried in her final resting place; I was still very bitter. In my head, I screamed at the unfairness of it all...that such a beautiful person should be taken from me.
I turned to face the wall...my back was facing the empty space in my bed, where my wife should have been. Instead of getting up to face the day, I wished myself to sleep. Sleep provided me with a means of escape...a refuge from the pain. Not even a month had passed...already, I knew what it felt like, to walk into an empty house. Little by little, my home began to feel like a prison...already, I was fighting the ghost of my memories.
My daughter, or better yet, our daughter, had witnessed my wife's terrible disease to the bitter end. Three months prior, our daughter Amanda had walked down the aisle; she was a newlywed. It had been a blessing; my wife had been able to see her daughter walk down the aisle. When Amanda and Keith left for their honeymoon, it wasn't a known that Amanda's mother would still be alive. But, my wife was a strong woman...fighting until the bitter end. When Amanda and Keith returned from their honeymoon, my daughter announced that she had become pregnant. My wife was over-filled with joy. It had always been her wish to be a grandmother.
Keith and Amanda lived approximately 6-7 miles away from our frontdoor. A day after their marriage, they had signed the paperwork for their new home. They were both ambitious, career oriented and now, they were expecting their first baby. Amanda had been a rock throughout this whole terrible ordeal. She had spent as much time as she could by her mother's side. After my wife's passing, Amanda had arranged the funeral service, throwing herself into the busy role of organiser; perhaps that was her coping mechanism. As for myself, with the loss of my wife...the experience was more devastating than I could have ever imagined. Even though I knew it was coming, when my wife passed away...a part of myself had died.
After my wife's death, I was learning how to survive. I was still employed, in fact, my career was the only thing that made sense to me. The times when I would step into my home, those moments; I would become lost. I didn't know how to cook a meal...it had been many, many years since I had last stepped into a grocery store. I didn't know how to do my laundry, I had never loaded a dish washer; I was inept in knowing how to clean a home. My daughter began to teach me the basics in being able to cope as a single resident in my home. Whenever I tried to tell my daughter that I was doing well, that I would be fine...perhaps, she noticed the waver in my voice. She had become determined to make sure that I was taken care of.
I have to admit, I enjoyed my daughter's visits. Amanda had a key to the house, at any given moment, she would show up. Not wanting to hear my daugher's dis-pleaure; I became quite the home maker. My house cleaning abilities improved...on many occassions, I would prepare the evening meal; both Keith and Amanda seemed to enjoy everything that they ate. For as often, and as much time that Amanda was spending with me...Keith never uttered a word of complaint. I was taking baby steps and in time, I knew how to do my own laundry; I even mastered the dish washer.
And so, on that weekend morning...I remember closing my eyes, allowing my mind to drift back into the fog of sleep. The rain was beating against the window pane and somehow, I found that comforting. It was a remnder of sorts, that life went on; the world outside kept turning.
In my semi-asleep state of mind, I felt as if someone had entered my bedroom. I then became aware of some movement. Strange as it sounds, I felt as if I was in the midst of a dream. Then the movement felt more like a depression on the other side of the mattress. I felt the covers being manipulated...and then, I felt the warmth of another person beside me.
"JoLyn...honey?" I recall myself saying.
My senses...at that particular moment; I was confused and dazed. "It's just me dad." My daughter's voice was gentle and very calming.
For the longest moment, I remained silent.
Amanda was the first to break the silence. "I woke up to the rain. The wind was howling. I didn't want to wake Keith up. I tossed and turned for awhile and then decided to get up."
With my back to my daughter, I could only agree with her. "I know. The rain woke me up too."
In a gentle voice, Amanda asked. "Are you okay daddy?" My body tightened up; my daughter inched closer to me.
Again, silence ensued.
Once again, it was Amanda that broke the silence. "I mean, are you okay with me being here, in bed with you?"
I was lying on my side and almost immedaitely, the need to sleep seemed to become a second thought. I fumbled for my words and I heard mysel say. "Of course. It's okay Amanda."
Hearing my approval, my daughter cuddled up to me. Her warm breath was felt on the back of my neck...the warmth of her body was heating my back. For a moment, I thought it was my wife...JoLyn.
Amanda had placed her arm around my chest and squeezed a hug. "How long has it been since I was last in your bed?" She asked.
I felt my face form a smile. A sudden rush of memories seemed to filter through my brain. "When you were little, you were always in our bed."
Amanda's voice was very gentle and soothing. "Yeah...Me, you, mom and teddy."
"You were always in the middle." I couldn't recall the number of the times when my daughter would jump into our bed, forcing herself in-between us. My daughter always consumed the warm gap between her mother and I.
That memory brought a smile to my face. Another long moment of silence...and at some point, I became acutely aware of my erection. To this day, I don't believe that my erection had anything to do with Amanda. Rather, it was just one of those involuntary muscular reaction that men got in the morning hours. Lying there, with my daughter's body pressed against mine; I had to believe that my erection would eventually go away.
Amanda's fingers began to play with my chest hair...she had found a gap in my pajama top. "How are you coping dad?" She asked.
"I'm trying to stay strong. But it's hard. Every day, every minute of every day; I think of your mom. Thankfully, I have work. You've taught me so much in the past few weeks. I feel now, that I can take care of myself."
"Just remember dad...mom wouldn't want you to stop living. She would expect you to move forward."
I nodded my head. I knew my daughter was right. "I still find it hard to believe...that she's gone."
Amanda grew quiet. Still, her fingers were idly stroking my chest. At some point, she had popped a button which allowed her greater access. I came to the realization too, that my erection hadn't gone down. I found myself wondering if I should ask her to stop. At the very least, I knew that I could have guided her hand away. But, I didn't do neither.
Once again, Amanda broke the silence and said. "You know something dad, mom isn't gone. Not really gone."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"When I was younger...around 8 or 9 years old, I remember asking you about God and heaven. Do you remember?"
I nodded. I did in fact, remember that conversation.
"I remember asking you what happens when a person dies. You said that we live on. Not in ghost like manner, but we live in people's memories and through our children."
This was the moment when I turned and lay on my back, facing my daughter. I was able to make out her features against the dawns light. Amanda's hand had remained on my chest. I said, "I remember...and so?
In a soft voice, Amanda said. "Well, doesn't mom live on through me? We don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, but mom will be living through my child; your grandchild."
I closed my eyes and said, "Yes, I suppose you're right." How could I argue with my daughter's logic. Her efforts to brighten my dark thoughts had worked; I smiled. Looking into my daughters eyes on that morning, I was once again reminded, just how much she had resembled her mother. I reached out and touched Amanda's blonde hair...I inhaled her scent. I closed my eyes again...I felt as if my wife was in bed with me. Alive again...in bed, where she belonged. Opening my eyes...seeing my daughter's smile; I pushed away the tempting illusion from my mind.
In the next second, we both adjusted ourselves on the bed...sitting up with my back against the head board. The covers were in dis-array...my daughter snuggled up against me; her hand still caressing my exposed chest.
I wasn't expecting the next sentence from my daughter's lips. "Dad! You have an erection!" My daughter seemed surprised...seemingly, in a state of shock. I had forgotten about my erection; I became embarrassed.
I tried to shift away and I heard myself say, "I'm...I'm sorry. It's not you...It's just a..."
All of a sudden my daughter started laughing. "I know dad. Mom always called your morning condition, her Glory Pole."
Instead of being embarrassed, I was shocked to hear my daughter mentioning my "Glory Pole." "Mom and you talked about my Glory Pole?" I asked.
Amanda's hand returned to my chest. "Mom and I talked about...well, everything."
"Okay, I knew you were close. But, I didn't think she would talk to you about that."
"Dad," Amanda said. "Mother's and daughters do talk...in fact, mom told me what to expect on my wedding night. And she mentioned the morning after. She's the one that told me to look for Keith's Glory Pole."
I gave in to my daughter's sense of teasing...and together; we laughed. My daughter's sense of humor, was much like her mother's. Having that moment together...was soothing and again, it made my dark thoughts appear brighter.
When our laughter died down, silence ensued. Amanda broke the silence when she said. "That's the first time you've laughed since...well, it's been awhile."
I looked down at my daughter and said, "I'm so lucky to have you." Suddenly overcome with the sensation of intense love; I hugged Amanda. When I did, my daughter kissed my shoulder...a moment later, her hand had popped another button on my pajama top, this time near my stomach.
I sensed that a "line" was being approached. On the other side of that line is something that should never happen between a father and his daughter.
As I was thinking about the "line", my daughter's hand went under my pajama top and she began to softly caress my entire chest.
For the longest moment, neither of us spoke. In that same moment, something happened between us. I looked into my daughter's eyes...something told me that she was thinking about that same "line." It shouldn't be crossed. But still, her hand was moving gracefully over my chest. At first, it was comforting. Looking into my daughter's eyes; her hand became stimulating. In the twilight of the morning, I sensed in my daughter's eyes that she was waiting for a response...that her touch was a proposition. That more could happen.
I took a deep breath and said. "Amanda..."
My daughter cut me short...her finger came to my mouth. It's as if she was telling me to remain quiet. "It's okay dad. Really, it's okay." Amanda was whispering and looking up into my eyes. I detected a bit of nervousness in her voice.
As the rain continued to hit the window...Amanda undid the remaining buttons to my pajama top. Pushing back the flaps to my pajama's...my entire chest was exposed.
The tone of my voice was firmer. "Amanda..."
Amanda moved her head closer to me...her eyes were wide and large. She definately had her mother's eyes. "Before mom passed away, she told me that I was supposed to look after you. She also told me that I wasn't to let you grow into a lonely old widower."
"Yes, but she didn't mean..."
Again, my daughter put her finger against my lips. "Sometimes dad, it takes more than words."
I was about to say something. I think I was going to protest...but my daughter silenced me when she suddenly kissed me on the cheek. "I love you dad."
This was the moment when I took my daughter's chin between my thumb and forefinger. Looking into her eyes, I said. "I love you too, sweetheart."
There was a long moment of hesitation...a moment filled with fear, trepidation and yet, a moment that was filled with such excitement. Amanda leaned forward and kissed me...tenderly, on my lips. My lips opened, ever so slightly...and our first kiss became more intense; our tongues met. We began to probe...tenderly, nervously...like if we were teenagers kissing for the very first time. Then, our confidence seemed to step forward...our tongues began to dance together.
Amanda broke the kiss. In a very slow and gradual way...she began to kiss my nose, my cheeks...my ears and ear lobes. Then finally, she rested her head against my chest.
Being aware of my heart rate...listening to my daughter's breathing; we had crossed the line. I feel we both were acutely aware of that.
Amanda's hair was silken...at that very moment, I began to run my fingers through it. Amanda was still caressing my chest, but her movements were seemingly, bolder. Her fingers were trailing through my chest hair, going downwards towards my naval...in a slow progressive way, her hand was moving down towards my erection. I held my breath...I wanted Amanda to touch me; I wanted her to hold my cock in her hand.
Not a word was spoken. At one moment, Amanda's fingers had reached the end of my bare skin. She had come into contact with my pajama bottoms. There was the slightest hesitation...and then, she caressed the hard outline of my erection. Amanda's hand ran the length of my shaft, to my scrotum, then up again. While Amanda continued to touch me, she began to lightly kiss my chest. Her mouth licked one nipple...and then my other. My cock was straining against my pajama bottoms...I couldn't help myself; I moaned in pleasure.
I'm sure that Amanda was aware...my breathing had deepened. I watched as she hooked her thumb under the elastic of my pajama bottoms. She lifted the material and eased it down a little. Only an inch or two, but in doing so...she exposed the head of my penis. She ran her thumb over my pee slit...smearing my pre-cum over my swollen head, making it easier to rub.
Still, not a word had been spoken. At one point, Amanda had deliberately pulled my pajama bottoms down; my cock sprang free. From the position my daughter was in, she pushed my pajama bottoms down as far as she could reach. They were down below my knees...I could have kicked them off, but I remained still. Perhaps, I was still reluctant to believe that this moment was happening between my daughter and I.
I didn't need to kick my pajama bottoms off. Amanda shuffled down the bed and began to gently remove them from my legs. Any and all blankets were also dragged off from our bodies. She knelt by my feet...looking at my naked body...there was a mixture of fear and excitement in her eyes. In one swift motion...Amanda began to undress. She struggled to remove her pants...she threw her top on the floor. She reached behind her back...the next moment; her breasts were exposed to me.
My heart was beating a mile a minute. She remained at my feet, kneeling...seemingly she was allowing me to view her nakedness. Silence stretched the moment and then finally she said. "Dad, when you're ready...I want you to take my panties off."
A quick moment later, Amanda lowered her head...she began to tenderly kiss my feet. Feeling my daughter's lips on my feet...I slowly began to open my legs to her, allowing her a safe passage to my crotch.
My legs were spread wide apart. Alternating between my feet, Amanda was not only kissing my feet, licking the soles of my feet; she began to lovingly suck my toes. This was fueling the lust I was feeling for her. Some would say...when a woman licks your feet, when she sucks your toes; she's taking on a submissive role. Yet, I felt as if my daughter knew that she was in control of the moment.
My feet had been tickled by my daughter's tongue...her saliva had coated my toes. Amanda's head was now level with my cock. I gasped in total pleasure when my daughter dipped her head; I felt her wet tongue lick the underside of my scrotum. Amanda began to lick around the area that covered my balls; I gripped the sheets in my hands. I couldn't help myself, I arched my back...when I did, my beautiful daughter dipped her probing tongue even lower; she began to circle and lick my anus. Amanda continued to explore my anus with her tongue...as she did, her hand...her fingers began to caress my hard cock.
The silence was then broken. Amanda looked up at me and said. "Are you okay dad?"
I managed to say, "Ye...Yes." I also noticed her smile.
Amanda then bent her head...she held my shaft between her fingers, she slowly slid her tongue up and when she arrived at the head of my cock; she swallowed my pre-cum. Feeling her lips around the head of my cock, feeling the tip of her tongue toying my pee slit...my state of arousal was at an all time high.
I reached down and began to stroke Amanda's hair. I remember crying out when Amanda had suddenly took the entire length of my cock into the warm cavern of her mouth. I could have sworn that my pee slit was up against her tonsils. Amanda slid her tongue around sending waves of pleasure throughout my body.
Amanda then began to bob her head...and I held her head in my grasp, relishing the moment. Looking at my daughter's head...it was easy to see the resemblance between her and her mother.
I rested my head against my pillows. My breathing was hard; my eyes had closed. At one point, I heard myself say. "JoLyn, that feels sooooo good. Don't stop."
Hearing myself say my late wife's name...I opened my eyes. Amanda was looking at me. "It's alright dad." Amanda had released my cock from her mouth. "I understand and I feel your pain."
Amanda's eyes were glued to mine. I watched my daughter take my cock deeply into her mouth. Looking at me, Amanda was close to gagging...when she closed her eyes, her head began to move at a moderate speed. I laid my head back into my pillows and I could feel her free hand massaging my balls. I felt her fingers against my anus. At one point, she tried to push her finger in my ass...I so badly wanted to feel that sensation, but my anus was too dry.
Amanda continued to suck my cock with such perfection. At one point, my grasp on her head had tightened...perhaps, she knew that I was close. I was trying to push myself away, not knowing if she wanted me to cum in her mouth. Amanda's mouth was glued against my shaft...she continued to massage my balls; I sensed that she wanted to taste, to swallow my sperm.
"Amanda!" I cried out.
The head of my cock was in Amanda's throat...my sperm had coated the back of her throat; my body spasmed in pleasure. The seed that had given her life...had been swallowed and now rested in her belly. When my orgasm had subsided, Amanda began to gently lick around the head of my softening cock. Then, she laid her head on my stomach.
Neither one of us spoke. I watched as my hands...my fingers stroked my daughter's hair. Without being able to look into Amanda's eyes; I sensed her nervousness. Now that my orgasm had sub-sided, perhaps both of us was now thinking in a more rational tone; we had crossed the "line." I didn't want Amanda to think that I was angry with her...more than anything, I was disgusted with myself. And yet, my fingers were still active in my daughter's hair.
It was I, that broke the silence. "Amanda honey, I...I called out your mother's name. I didn't mean...I..."
"It's okay dad." She raised her head and kissed my stomach. She looked into my eyes and repeated, "It's really okay. I totally understand."
"Honey," I said. "Will you come up and lay by my side?"
A moment later, Amanda had shifted herself...she was nestled against me; her head on my shoulder. I tenderly kissed my daughter's forehead and the message that I was trying to convey to her was...everything was okay.
We lay in silence, and I'm sure we were both wondering what the other was thinking. A door had been opened, that "line" had been crossed. At that moment, I felt as if we both knew...things would never be the same again.
I could tell that Amanda was frustrated...she pressed her body even closer to mine. She continued to kiss my chest...her caresses never ceased and now, her hand was moving downward. At that moment, I took my daughter's hand in mine...not wanting her to think that I was rejecting her; I guided her hand to my cock. I was hard again. Amanda's small fingers took hold of my reviving member. All at once, she began to stroke the soft underside of my swollen penis, the sensation was overwhelming.
I sensed again that Amanda was growing impatient, her frustration seemed almost unbearable...in a quick sudden movement, Amanda had shifted her position. My daughter's body was now on top of me. Amanda's breasts were rubbing up against my broad chest. She was still wearing her panties and I envisioned that her pussy was very wet.
In a raspy voice, Amanda said. "Dad, take my panties off and put your cock inside me."
I didn't need any other words of encouragement, I reached down and began to work my daughter's panties down and off from her body. A moment later, Amanda lowered herself onto me...with such exquisite slowness...the wet lips of her labia immedaitely consumed my whole shaft. I shivered in passion as my daughter took me fully inside...she eased herself up so that she was straddling me...every inch of my cock was inside her tight, soaking pussy.
Amanda was breathing rapidly...she looked down at me, her eyes were glazed with desire. She began to ride me...her movements were rhythmic in nature. I couldn't help myself, I reached up and took her breasts in my hands...I began to knead and massage the soft flesh. Amanda writhered in pleasure...the moans heard from her lips were intoxicating. Amanda tilted her head back and continued to grind her pussy against me. I began to push my hips up, in order to penetrate my daughter; it's as if I felt myself go even deeper into her body.
My wife had always like having her nipples pinched during sex...and so, I began to wonder if Amanda took after her mother. I began to gently pinch her erect nipples...and as I squeezed each of my daughter's nipples; she whimpered in delight. All at once, Amanda began to move her hips faster...I sensed that she was getting closer to her orgasm. Amanda's body was covered in sweat as she increased her rhythm, grunting with each of my thrusts.
Amanda reached behind with one hand and began to massage my balls...without question, this sensation caused me to grind upwards, wishing myself to go even deeper into her passage. Amanda was squirming in pure exctasy...her tongue began to lick her dry lips. Amanda then began to move her hips in small circular motions and I knew that my cock was deep inside her body. I sensed that Amanda was very close.
Without thinking of my own orgasm...only wanting to pleasure my daughter, with every thrust; my own orgasm was building. I slid my hands down to Amanda's hips...it became another way of trying to push myself further into my daughter's body. I was watching my daughter's face...her body language and too, I couldn't help but notice Amanda's breasts as they jiggled with each thrust.
Amanda was panting...grunting with the approach of her orgasm. I knew that she was close. Our eyes locked onto each other...was it only father and daughter, or was it more. Were we embarking on becoming lovers?
Amanda cried out. "Dad!" The pleasurable wave within my daughter's body finally broke free.
I too, was reaching my peak. I began to grunt and I clearly heard Amanda say. "Cum inside me dad...I'm already pregnant."
My sperm let loose, deep inside my daughter's body. Our juices were mingling together...I filled my daughter up with my sperm. Amanda shuddered and collapsed on top of my chest...her hair was damp with sweat. I remained inside and slowly, I began to feel my erection soften...my balls being tickled by the fluid that was leaking from Amanda's pussy.
We kissed each other...and then, we lay in silence. Both of us were satisfied and exhausted. I stroked Amanda's back...and I began to wonder if I would ever have another opportunity to make love to my daughter. A sudden smile appeared on my face...holding Amanda in my arms, yes...I knew that we would always find the time and opportunity to make love to each other.