To those that have loved and lost, I am an amature I will admit that, while the story is true, and as accurate as I can recall, there may be discrepancys, as well as misspellings, this is not an English Final exam, merely an insight into part of my life.
The following story is true, and accurate, as best to my recollection. If it was fiction, it would have had a much happier ending.
“What are your intentions with my mom?'
Those were some of the first words I can recall hearing from the beautiful 10 year old. Looking deep into her steel blue eyes, glancing back, over to her mother seeing the hope in her golden brown eyes.
“To love her completely,” was my reply.
“Good, for how long?” was KB's next question.
“For as long as you all, and her let me,” was my reply.
That was one of the first nights that I recall talking with her and her mother, two weeks after I was introduced to her mother at a local store by my now ex wife.
That was all, just over 8 years ago. April, 2006. The year that I became single again, for the first time, in 13 years. Two months later, KB, and her siblings went to visit family out of state, and it all really began. Her mother and I pretty much lived together the entire time that they were gone, almost 2 months of the summer. I lived, at the time, in a comfortable, 2 bedroom apartment with the few things that I retained during the separation, and a few things that I had picked up for myself. Three months after I met KL, I essentially moved from the apartment, to her spacious 4 bedroom home on some acreage.
While the three siblings were gone, I celebrated my 33rd birthday. While they were gone, I got a text message, asking me about some of my favorite things. Three weeks later, when they returned home, KB brought home a simple brown box with my name on it and, in bold black letters “Happy Birthday.” She had gone to a few different yard sales while out of town, and found just the right things to bring home with her. Inside of the box was another box with a lighthouse lamp inside, and some small sticks to use as kindling. I had only told her that my favorite things were lighthouses, she assumed correctly that I loved to sit around a good campfire and talk.
Her birthday, was three days after her mother's, so, I had gotten her a brand new cell phone, under my plan, to get rid of their pre-paid plan, and give her the flexibility of being able to call... she almost never did, lol. When she talked with almost everyone, it was in text, which, luckily, we had gotten unlimited messaging. The rest of that year was pretty uneventful, with school, holidays, and just life in general.
The next summer, since I worked for the school system, she asked if she could come and help clean over the summer. I gladly let her, she was amazing company, and a hell of a little worker. She was always remarking how dirty the little kids could be, meaning the mess in the rooms. I just explained that we only have 3 months to clean what takes them 9 months to dirty, and she just nodded and gave me that huge smile she was always ready with. I didn't want to keep her from her friends or anything she wanted to do, so I only brought her with me about once a week, to work. When I got home, she usually had that bored look on her face and asked me how it had gone, almost wishing that I would let her come with me more often. Even at 11, she had a work ethic that would put most adults to shame. At the end of that summer, since my ex and her new husband decided to move out of state with my kids, we all decided to load up in my truck, and go to see them. It was to be a week long camping trip filled with fun. Well, it was filled with fun, rain, and lost flip flops, mostly rain. Toward the end we all had had enough of the rain, so we packed everything up, and decided to spend the last night before we left in a motel, opting for a hot shower and warm comfy bed to be ready for the 11 hour drive back home. Little did we know, less than a month after our visit, that my kids would be back where we lived.
That year, for Christmas, KL's parents had gotten us a family pass to a local ski resort, knowing that her kids loved to snowboard. My kids had never seen skis, let alone gone down a hill on them. The first trip, we got them all sized up, and rented skis for them, to see how they liked it. Needless to say, the next year, when her parents did the same thing, for Christmas, we had gotten them all set up with their own equipment. My youngest, being so small and light, was tossed around on the poma lift, drug up the hill on his side, instead of on his skis, the whole time laughing about it. But, true to her form, that little angel KB, was right there with him, passing on her own runs down the big hill to take care of her little brother, and help as best she could. The year after that, when her parents did the same thing, my youngest wasn't on the “Bunny Hill” anymore, he was going down the Black Diamond passes with the best of them, with KB right behind him, trying to keep up.
Our kids had grown so close in just a year that we were almost literally the “Brady Bunch,” 6 kids, 2 adults, and two dogs, instead of the maid. They were never “step” siblings, always called as brother or sister, but not step. It all was so loving and fun filled, it was almost perfect. The next two years were pretty much repeats of the previous, except my kids never did move away again, instead, living in a town about 20 miles away.
This is where the story turns from a story of two families together, into more of the interaction of KB and myself.
It was the April before she turned 14, we had had two major snow storms in two weeks, causing schools to be closed, and many stores to be as well. The week in between the storms we had all gotten shoveled out, and finally able to move, and a little bit of “cabin fever” had hit most of us. KB had decided to see if some of her friends could come over and stay, since the weather had gotten so decent out, her mom told her OK, so their parents brought them over. With the snow drifts and pretty much unseen ground around the house the girls all decided to make snow forts and have snow ball fights while her mom and I were at work, as well as apparently, see what it was like to run around the outside of the house naked, daring each other to make laps in the knee deep snow. That Friday had came, with another snow storm, dropping even more of the white stuff on us, making it all but impossible for me to get to work, but her mom able to get out, after hours of digging her car. My shift had been canceled. So with me, sitting at home with three teen age girls, things were pretty normal. One friend's mom had called and said she was coming to get her, which she did, an hour later. Leaving me there, with two, beautiful, teenagers.
An hour after the friend had left, I had gotten bored watching television and being on the internet, So I had ran to the local store to pick myself up some more beer, and cigarettes. Well, unbeknownst to me, the two girls had been brainstorming behind my back.
“Truth or Dare” were the first words out of both of their mouths as soon as I walked in the door, putting the beer in the fridge.
“Ummmm, truth” was my reply
“Which of us is more beautiful?” was the question.
Now, faced with a question like that, I had to really study the girls, and came to the only logical answer to keep my ass from getting hit.
“You are both equally beautiful, in your unique way,” was my reply. Which got me a very funny look from each of the almost 14 year olds.
“KB, you have the most beautiful eyes, so full of life, and love,” “LM, your hair and lips are some of the most beautiful that I have ever seen.”
That seemed to satisfy each of them, knowing that I wasn't going to intentionally upset either of them.
We proceeded keeping it to only truths for a while, asking mostly nonsense questions, keeping it very PG. After about 4 rounds each, finally someone had to break it, so, when asked again, I finally answered “Dare”
“I dare you to run around the outside of the house completely naked, 4 times,” KB told me, with kind of a giggle from LM.
“OK,” was my reply, after a couple minutes of thinking of it, and how to get out of it, after all, I was the adult, at 35, and they were only almost 14.
I go to the kitchen, taking my t-shirt, and sweat pants off, leaving my shoes on so I could maybe have some traction in the snow. I took a deep breath, resigned myself to my punishment, and started out the door. Making the first lap, fairly easily, I was almost done with the second lap when I caught a drift wrong with the toe of my shoe, making me roll across the front yard, still completely naked. The next thing I hear is OMG, are you OK, from both of the girls.
I look up at both of them and tell them, there is no way I'm making two more laps after that, they agreed and told me to get in the house and get dressed to warm up.
It was my turn next, I looked at KB and asked her “truth or dare?” “Dare,” was the reply.
“I dare you to run around the outside of the house 2 times bare naked,” was my statement.
She sighed, knowing that it was coming, after what she had made me do. So, she agreed and went to the dining room to get herself ready, after a few minutes of the two of them giggling, I turn the corner to see what they are doing, and there she is, no shirt or bra, only her pants, down around her ankles, trying to pull them off over her shoes, although they were stuck. She asked me if I could help her, so I got down on my knees to pull the cuffs of her pants over her shoes, right at eye level, at one of the most beautiful pussies that I had ever seen. Looking up, I see her lips slightly spread, her smell intoxicating me more than the beer that I had drank.
She made her two laps around the house without falling down, like I had, came back in, and we continued. LM had completely refused to do any dares that required her getting nude, so we were resigned to more tame dares for her. After 2 more rounds of it, all being dares, they, for some reason had dared me to eat some of the blood worms that we had on hand for the aquariums. Not the most tasty things in the world, especially when you are pretty well drunk.
Knowing that it would be my balls if her mom had ever found out, we had agreed to keep it all under out hats. Also after all of this, she would also have me come and get her from school, a lot more often than she had before, always saying that she was sick. Knowing that I was the only one home.
After that day, I noticed that there were fewer and fewer times that her friends came over on the weekends, leaving it more to KB and myself just lounging. Her doing her thing, me doing mine. I did notice tho, that she always managed to come out of the shower while our bedroom door was left completely open, always “forgetting” her second towel. She had one wrapped over her hair, but, never had one on her body. When she did that, before she approached the door, she would always call out “Don't look.” Being human nature, when someone says that, of course, you are going to look. I saw more of that girl with her walking by, than I usually got to see of her mom, and we slept naked. KB always seemed to make it a point to not do that while her mom was home, or, if she knew her mom was occupied and wouldn't see. Many times, I would be in the kitchen, cooking dinner, or getting coffee when she would walk down the hall, dressed exactly the same way, towel on head, totally naked. She would look up, and see me, and kinda cover herself, but, not very convincingly, always giggling about it.
She carried on doing that for the next two years, always when her and I were home alone, or she knew mom wasn't looking. She got a boyfriend and it got even worse, she would make sure that if we were alone, that she went “commando” and sat with loose shorts, facing me, always kinda watching my eyes to see where they would wander to. He was not the best boyfriend in the world, to say the least. Always calling her ugly, stupid, fat, a waste of space. To describe her, 5'4” long brown hair, steel blue eyes, perfectly smooth skin, and a solid B student without trying. We were constantly telling her how amazing she was, and how stupid her was for treating her like that. But, she was in love with him, so she put up with him. He would break up with her, and start dating someone else, but, he never told her why he broke up with her, always accusing her of cheating on him. The girl had only kissed two, maybe three people in her life time, and I was one of them, the others were him, and a boy she had dated before him. He was also the one that took her virginity, so it proved to us how big of an idiot he was to all of us.
Six months after he had broken up with her the last time, she went through a complete and total change, she became more angry, and withdrawn from everyone, totally obsessed with finding out why he did what he did to her. She would text him, he would ignore them, she would call him, he would send it to voice mail. Always avoiding her, but, still tormenting her, silently.
A month after they split, she went to his house, and apparently slashed his tires on his car. I don't know if it's true or not, but late that night, we had gotten a call from the cops to come and get her from a local “make out” spot. She had tried taking a corner on the narrow winding road at about 60 miles per hour, over double what was recommended for the road. It took two tow trucks, and about 300 feet of cable and chain to get her car from the ravine. Amazingly, her and her friend were shaken, but completely uninjured in all of it.
After that, she seemed more calm, less angry, more like the KB that we knew. She had even gotten back into torturing me with her walking around the house in little to no clothes. A month after the accident, I was walking down the hall toward our bedroom and she had just gotten out of the shower, she was standing in the door way of the bathroom with just her towel on her head, she saw a shadow coming down the hall, so she quickly covered up, until she saw that it was me, then, she uncovered, and smiled at me. That next week, she ramped it up even more, coming into our room, where were were sitting in the bed, “dressed” for sleep. She would always come to my side of the bed and lean over it. She would start more at the foot of the bed, and then would migrate herself up, til she started putting her pussy right on my foot, directly on my toes. I don't know if she was hoping that I would move them, to rub her, or what her plan was, but, she would always do that. During all of this is when I caught her looking into our bedroom while I was getting out of the shower, I would close the door, and when I got out, the door would be cracked, and I could see her shadow.
A month after she started doing that, he decided he wanted to get back together with her, even tho he had a restraining order on her. He came, and picked her up, in the neighborhood below the house. Three days later, she came home, even more angry than she had been right after the break up initially. Over the course of that day, she threw her mom's purse at her, broke her mom's thumb, and broke my glasses when she punched me as I was protecting her mom from her. After the punch, I grabbed her, and wrestled her to the floor, the whole time all that I had really wanted to do, was take away the pain that she was feeling, but, instead, I pinned her to the floor and when the cops came, she asked to go to the mental hospital and be checked in. Three days after she was checked in, the released her, and she did seem better, they had given her a combination of drugs to help her maintain her moods, and they seemed to be working. Until, 2 weeks later, when he decided to call her again, and break up with her, choosing to date a friend of her with a much worse reputation than she ever would.
It was after this last episode that things really went badly. Her mom had brought her home, with much convincing, and asked her to come inside. She came in for a few minutes, and waited for her mom to come into the bedroom and get ready for bed, thinking all would be OK. That was the last time that her mom or I had seen her..... alive.
I was woke the next morning to the sounds of her mom screaming. “She killed herself” over and over, those words haunt my sleep to this day. That was also the day a huge part of my heart died, never to recover. Her mom found her hanging in the family shop, from a rope. Her mom and I decided that we couldn't just leaver her hanging there, so we took her down, that is a cold that I will never forget. After calling police, and them getting a hold of the county coroner, the did determine that it was self inflicted, the next day, we started making the arrangements for her, picking her a rose colored coffin, and finding out that we could have her buried on the family property as long as we designated a cemetery, picking the spot, and cleaning the property took the better part of the week after. Just over a week after, after all of the preparations and planning, we saw her one last time, two hours before we put our angel in a spot where she could watch over the rest of the family, forever.
That was just over two years ago, my heart still breaks when I think of what was lost, the pure love that was there, and wondering why she did some of the things that she had done. Was it love of me? Or was it lust for me?Did she want me to be her first? Did she want to take her mom's place? Did she want me for herself? The only person that knows the answers to those questions can't answer them anymore. I do know that in some ways, life is better, I know I have an angel watching me, but, in some ways, it's less satisfying, she isn't there to share it with us, at least in body.
Every religion has their opinion of what happens after a suicide, and to them, it's their law. To me, I can still see some of the ways that she steers my life, to this very day, she's still around, either as an angel, or as a tormented soul, but, she's still watching over her loved ones, keeping us safe, and knowing that she loves us.
Like I said, this is a true story, if it had been fantasy, the ending wouldn't have gone as it did. I know that there are details that have slipped out of my mind over the course of the last 8 ½ years, I'm only human, there was much more that I would love to know from her, but, now, there is no real way I can get the answers that I seek, and for that I am sad, but, her pain is over, she isn't being tortured any more by his cruelty, and that makes me a little happy, she's now able to make his life a living hell on earth. Thank you, KB, for letting me share in your life, and for loving me the way that you did, however that was.