Derek Helton's amazing conquest of 31 women in 31 days followed by his brutal descent into the gay underground.
Back downstairs with the rest of the gang. Drinking my seventh beer of the night. These people continued to pound the drinks back in my absence. Everybody was about to hook up with somebody. Or not. People were hammered. Too hammered. Rico. Donny. Obliterated. Barely able to stand. The shopping channel girls, also obliterated. They would be lucky to make it to the couch, let alone get up the stairs to the beds. Loud talking, shrieking and laughing. Exaggerated and stupid. I had seen this many times before. The over-drinking, the puking, the not fucking, the wasted night.
The three shopping channel girls were either hanging on to the Amigo’s, or propped up against the kitchen counter. In fact, everyone was in the kitchen. Where the booze was.
Except Danny and Susie. Danny looked to be passed out on the living room couch. Susie about two breaths behind him. She held a drink in her hand. What a trooper. I needed to avoid the crazy bitch and grab the next shopping mom. Haul her ass up the stairs and do her on the puke bed. Beside the naked, sleeping, Cindy Crawford clone.
The other shoppers were not as attractive as the one upstairs. Not even close. I looked intently at each one. The alcohol certainly did nothing to abet their looks. Through my seven Budweiser-thick beer goggles, these girls were not the pick of the litter. They must have been barking dogs in high school. Their careers or their husbands allowing for hair, makeup and clothing upgrades to cover the defects.
Drooping mouths sprayed saliva as they spoke. Makeup smeared from the awful heat in the kitchen. The girls were plain looking. Plain fucking ugly.
My eyes left their faces and moved to the bodies. The bodies would have to suffice. The three ladies were dressed beautifully. They all appeared to be aerobics freaks. Hard and tight. I decided to pick the ugliest of the bunch.
Treat her as the ugly, drunken pig she was.
Take the pig upstairs and fuck her pig brains out.
I needed her name. I separated the ugly duckling from the pack. This one’s name was Simon or Simone, something French. I was feeling good; she was plastered, verbal communication was not going to be a huge thing between us. Simone, I finally determined, was the hog’s name. For my scorecard and all. I saw the giant wedding band on her lock down finger, another bad girl. Perfect. The rest of the idiots in the kitchen continued to drink. I don’t know why the fuck-fest wasn’t underway. Oh well, this was my time.
With much difficulty, I got Simone and her clunky boots up Rico’s stairway. Turned into the same bedroom where Carly lay. Simone stopped. Somebody moved the comforter. Carly was again bare ass naked. With her expensive boots on. Her hair a mess, flopped all over the pillow. The smell of body sweat and booze and puke filled my nostrils. The smell of pussy was a curtain hanging across the entire room. My cock was hard already. Simone staggered closer to the bed. Staring. Not quite believing. Staring at her buddy. The hot Cindy Crawford girl. Destroyed on the bed.
Simone fumbled for her phone.
Pulled it out.
What the hell was this bitch doing?
Then the pointing and clicking started.
Simone was taking pictures of her shopping pal. She climbed onto the bed and pushed the big hair away from Carly’s face. To get a clearly identifiable picture. Tugging on the big hair, she was tugging hard. Yanking the big hair. There was barely a response from Carly. Wet vomit stuck to one side of her face. Gross. She was boom-boom, out for the night.
Click. Click. More pictures. Killer pictures. Pictures of blackmail worthiness.
What the hell? These were friends?
I took the phone from Simone’s hand.
“She can be such a bitch,” Simone mumbled.
I looked at the little glow screen. Could barely see the phone icon button. Might come in handy in a few minutes. I put the phone on the night table.
“Thinks she’s such fucking hot stuff,” Simone slurred.
Then she laughed. The stupid drunken laugh.
Simone slapped her buddy, right across the face.
“Not so hot now, are you…”
Simone was about to punch her buddy. I grabbed her pathetic little fist.
Dial it down, you little dog bitch.
Got to love the women and their kinship with one another.
It’s always a competition with the ladies, isn’t it?
I pulled Simone towards me. Then grabbed at her ass with both hands. She remembered why we were here. Immediately her mouth opened. Her tongue came out. Her dog tongue. Good thing I was seven beers deep. I met her tongue with mine.
Thirty seconds later she was buck naked. I shoved her back on the bed. I put the expensive boots back on her. She now resembled her buddy. Buck naked, booted, with big hair. And piss drunk. I began to strip. Simone the pig moaned. She could barely keep her eyes open, but she sensed hard, young cock in her personal space. Cock dripping with her shopping buddy’s pussy.
I mounted the picture taker’s face. Pulled her up by the hair. Shoved my cock into her mouth. The only thing making her remotely attractive was my cock. She was a true dog.
With my primo cock gracing her face, I reached for the phone. This was awesome, because the two girls were lying side by side. One on her stomach. One on her back. I squinted my eyes and peered through the phone. Managed to get my cock and the dog’s mouth in the freeze frame.
Yeah baby, some memories of your own.
P.S. How does your buddy’s pussy taste?
This wasn’t even a blow job. It was my cock sliding in and out of a wet mouth. No suction. No effort. The pig was past drunk, she could have been mouthing a salami or a chunk of pipe. Whatever. This one was purely for the scorecard. To free me up for tonight. I needed the easy score because I had an evil little plan for this evening. It was barely past midnight, I would hammer this pig, then head for home.
Simone did have a nice body, give her some credit. Nice tits. Nice legs. Nice ass. And. She was almost unconscious. This was going to be a dead fuck. The things I endured on my quest to break the record.
I pulled out of her mouth, shoved her head back on the bed. Decided to flip her over. Same position as her buddy. Simone moaned. I wasn’t sure if the moan was for cock, for sleep, or because of an upset stomach.
Perhaps a hospital visit was required, for a stomach pumping.
Oh, no need.
I will take care of the problem.
I pulled her hips back and spread her. Mounted her pussy from behind, which was wet from who knows what?
The drinking? Being around young men? Slapping her friend’s face? Taking the pictures?
I slid into her, felt her body spasm. Heard a nasty gurgle from deep in her belly. Followed by a gross burp/spit/puke sound.
Beer. Hard stuff. Shooters. Wine.
Guzzle and mix. In a short period of time.
Trouble. Stomach trouble. Barf trouble.
Add in some good, hard, pussy pounding and presto? What do you get?
You get that sensation, again. The watching sensation.
Behind me. Inside the bedroom door.
I twist to look.
Susie, by herself this time, watching.
What the hell gives with this chick?
Some kind of zombie retard stalker?
Susie looked extremely fucked up. No idea how she made it up the stairs.
I pulled my cock out, showed it to Susie. She stared, mesmerized, I thought she would col-lapse to the floor.
Watch this, bitch.
Turning away from Susie, I sunk my entire cock into Simone. Again, her body trembled. This was no orgasm. This was pain, fighting through the booze curtain. I pulled out and hammered back in. She shook from head to expensive boots. Thrashed, sucked for air. Swallowed. Tossed her head back. I began to jack hammer her, I was going for the double and determined to get it.
I slammed her, my groin crushing against her ass and thighs. Her moaning was overtaken by retching. Loud, powerful retching.
Too much for me to hold on. As the boiling liquid spewed from her yap, my cock blew into her pussy. Every one of my thrusts produced a new stream of vomit. The pig’s hair was sopping, her back and ass were sopping. The room took on a stronger reek of human effluent, and I couldn’t have been more pleased. This was unreal. Two girls completely fucked into barfing.
Another asterisk, for the record books. A good asterisk, not a Barry Bonds one.
I turned around. Susie was gone. A ghost. A sneaky, cock watching ghost.
Simone was already down in her own muddle, her ass up in the air, her pussy clinging tight to the final spasms of my cock. Thank Christ this wasn’t my place. Good old Rico would have a fine mess to clean up in the morning.
Hey, what were friends for?
I pulled out, and climbed off the bed. Grabbed the cell phone. Clicked a couple more pic-tures. Dueling bare asses and expensive boots. Nice. I clicked a picture of my hard cock. While I definitely came, I didn’t shoot it all. The seven beers and the earlier fuck with Carly may have held me up. The dreaded blue balls were starting to throb.
I checked the vitals of both ladies, and determined they were okay. They were alive, breathing and in the recovery position. In case there was more barf coming.
Time to get dressed. I tucked my cum and cunt covered, double fuck cock into my underwear.
Pulled on my jeans and zipped up. Finished dressing. Down the stairs to the kitchen. Nobody around. Finally the hooking up was happening. I looked into the living room. Danny, unconscious, hammered into oblivion. Flopped on the couch, legs out, head back. Snoring.
Susie, awake, but blitzed out of her brains. Talking to herself. Mumbling. Slurring. Pretty much retarded. She saw me. Motioned me over. I went.
What do you want, cock watcher?
Susie tried to stand. She couldn’t. She reached a hand towards me. Grabbed my belt. Pulled me closer. She lost her balance, fell forward, her face hitting my crotch. She looked angry. Angry at me. I heard the word ‘asshole’, and what I think may have been Danny’s name. The rest was drunken mumbo jumbo.
Again, she tried to stand. Couldn’t. Settled for pawing at my crotch. This was amusing. I let her go on. Soon enough, she found my zipper. Soon enough, she found my cock. Soon enough, she was inhaling it into her mouth. My cum and the two shopping girl’s pussy juice. She was furious, but hornier than angry. Stupid looking. As if she was having a seizure.
Wait a second?
Did she actually think I was Danny?
The dude was passed out beside her, inches away.
Most of Susie’s brain was in shut down. Not all of it. Not the cock eating part. Danny. Me. Elvis Presley. Who cared? Not her. Not me. Eat up, girl. My blued balls filled quickly, my cock went to rock hard. Okay bitch, my turn. I grabbed her stupid hair and forced myself into her throat. Susie gagged mightily.
Holy fuck, I thought.
I shoved all the way down her throat, felt the blazing heat of her bile on my cock bell. Her face turned purple and she pushed at my stomach, trying to dislodge the cock from her throat. I held her tight, forcing her to gag mightily, hoping to wake her boyfriend. Show him what a little pig she was. Susie squirmed on the floor in front of me, in nasty distress. I pulled out as she puked all over the floor. Another big mess for Rico to clean. Susie gagged out some more puke, then gasped for air. Not a movement from her man.
I pushed Susie back on the couch. Tears poured from her eyes. I think she wanted her mommy. I wasn’t quite done though. Her shoes, jeans and panties came off in three pulls. I pushed her legs apart and back against the couch. Knelt on the edge of the couch in her barf, and slid into her pussy. The tears, the gasping for air, the wonderful feeling after barfing, and now the invasion of the mighty cock. I bumped all the way into her, which produced a guttural grunt from the little bitch. I began a nice even thrusting, in, out, in, out. I was being gentle, for the moment. Then I began to drive harder. Out, in, out, in. Falling into her, knocking the wind out of the little cunt.
The barfing began again, Susie trying to cover her mouth with her hands. The vomit spewed between her fingers, running all over her face and hair. I kept pounding, my cock stiffening to the max.
In the course of ninety minutes, I fucked three stupid cunts into barfing. This had to be a record within the bigger record I was chasing. My blued balls began to release, the gusher of all times was on the way. I pulled out of Susie’s pussy, aimed my cock at her face, and let it rip.
The white spunk jetted through the air, spraying the back of Susie’s hands, her forehead, eyes and nose. About ten good shots completely emptied my swollen balls, painting the bitch’s face and hair. Susie passed out beside her man. Or her ex. I wasn’t sure what their status was now. They were in the exact same position on the couch, inches apart. She was naked from the waist down, covered in semen and puke. What a lovely sight for the first person coming down for morning coffee.
I tucked my cock away and zipped. Rubbed my knees against Danny’s legs, getting most of the puke off. I was thinking about my scorecard.
Hole number nineteen.
Simone the dog.
Five for looks. Make it a six, for the body and boots.
Give it a nine point five for the barfing and the picture taking.