the best day of my life
saturday started out like any other day. i woke up at 3 PM after a long session of world of warcraft, turned on inuyasha and pulled my pork till i came in a wave all over my stomach. as usual i just rubbed it into my boxers and waited for it to dry. then i got up and walked downstairs and said hi to my mom, "hi mom". mom was my first sexual experience but that is a different story. we have not had sex since i called her a bitch and told her i wasnt into older women anymore. it was the truth, because i wasnt. i walked into the kitchen and poured myself a bow of captain crunch. i imagined it was actually called "crunchy cunt" and i got hard again. i had to pull my pants down and start jerking off again, my mom asked what iwas doing btu ibarely even heard her. i came all over the kitchen table and accidentally came into my cereal so i gave it to my mom and she ate it all. i loled really hard becaus i wasnt that hungry anyway.

i walked down the steps outside, it was a sunny day. i saw a lot of girls my age but i disregarded them and walked straight to the elementary school playground. i had prepared for this day all week, i had bought a bunch of twizzlers and stuff from the store. i walked onto the playground and a bunch of boys were playing kickball. i took off my shirt to reveal my glistening, bulging torso and stepped up to plate. "let me show you how a real man plays, motherfuckers". i kicked the ball all the way into the woods and then beat the shit ouf of the pitcher, ran all three bases and scored a homerun. i started laughing so hard i fell onto the ground, and dirt got stuck to me because i was so sweaty. now i knew none of the girls would want me, i started crying and ran all teh way back to my house. i couldnt even think straight the rest of the day, i almost killed myself.

later though i was ready, the next day i skippied school like this: i woke up and told my mom i was going to school, and i went to school but i left soon afterward. i told the nurse i had a stomacheache, im pretty sure she wanted my cock but whatever. i walked over to an elementary school,. they were all at recess, so i got prepared to play kickball again but then they all started walking inside. i walked into the front entrance and went into a classroom, there were at least three hot girls in there. one of them i had seen before, her name was jessica she was only 10 but she had already started growing boobies and i could see thepussy juice dripping under her desk. i said i was jessicas brother and i had to take her out of class for a minute. i whispered inthe teachers ear "im just gonna fuck her really quick and bring her back" he smiled and said sure. i laughed because i saw he had razor scars all over his wrists. what a pathetic faggot, i bet he was still a virgin haahhaa.

jessica followed me out of class, i farted really loud and couldnt help but laugh. she looked a little confused, so i said "once your in college youll understand". she didnt really know what i was talking about. i picke dher up and carried her into the guys bathroom and took her into a stall. she said :i dont feel comfortable" so i took her back to my house in my bed. we had sex for almost a hundred hours straight, by the end her pussy was dripping like a waterfall and it was like a big gaping hole, so i started to fist her. i fisted her so amazingly hard, her pussy was squirting everywhere. istarted cumming everywhere, all over the place, i knocked over my lamp with a 5-roper and then later i came inside her and cum started overflowing out of her vagina in pulsing waves, spilling over her preteen legs all over my bed and spilling onto the floor. i noticed a lot of red in my cum. at first i was worried i had an infection then i remembered i had just split this little whores pussy wide open and she was probabvly about to die. i realized she was unconscious and she probably hadf been for a while. i took her to the hospital and said we had been in a car accident, when the doctor asked waht all the cum was from i blushed and said "carnage turns me on motherfucker" and i kicked his ass. he started laughing because he realized i was only kidding. he sewed up her pussy and asked if i wanted to smell his fingers. i said "sure" and smelled his fingers, but my nostrils were already saturated with the stench of 10 year old smelly pussy. she woke up and asked where she was. i said she had been in an accident and i would take her home. when we got to her house i said i had fucked her pussy from here to next tuesday and asked if she wanted more. she started crying and said she was scarred for life. at first i thought she was joking so i let out a guffaw but then i realized it was real. her mom answered the door and i said "wow look behind you a thunderstorm" then i pusehd her daughter off the porch and ran all the way back to my house. i never got caught for this and i only felt guilty for like a day.

8 years later i was at a bar hitting on pussy. i recognized a familiar face. it was jessica, but her face was all scarred up from meth use and and she had a very dolorous aura about her. i went up to see if she recognized me but she didnt. perfect. i started to work my magic and she explicitly said "i was abused as a child and i cant have sex without severe emotional consequences" this turned me on but i saw it would be hard to get her to come home with me so i called up my friend George Henry Bernard (get it) and then it was no problem. i brought her back home and lay her down on my bed. she lay almost lifeless as i lubed her up and used her body to bring myself to orgasm over and over. i filled up my room with cum and it leaked out the door and started flowing down the stairs. my mom asked what i was doign and i said "mom why am i still living with you im like 27" so i flipped her double birds and walked out of the house to rent an apartment. it was raining out so i walked under a bridge and started fingering my asshole.

the end hope you liked it
- the pussy slapper


2017-03-29 11:56:38
Best story ever!


2017-03-29 11:42:50
Best story ever!

Anonymous readerReport

2017-01-18 22:28:56
Worst thing I have ever read. You. have issues bruh

Anonymous readerReport

2016-11-17 00:34:17

Anonymous readerReport

2016-10-02 22:13:00
Rofl. Came here looking to have a wank. Leaving with a good laugh! Thanks niggaaaaaa

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