A Nun with a splinter in a very embarrassing place which needs desperate measures to remove it
One evening in 1842
The sun was setting over the western hills bathing the valley side in a golden glow. I looked up from my books and decided to take a walk before darkness fell.
Our house stood some way above the village and I decided to walk down to sample a pint or two of ale before supper.
“I’m going for a walk I may be some time,” I informed the housekeeper before I strode off in search of refreshment.
I had not gone many yards before I came across a Nun hurrying towards the village.
“Good evening,” I greeted her, “You seem to be in a great rush.”
“We need the doctor,” she explained.
“I think I saw him en route to the Stag and Hornet an hour since,” I explained.
“Oh no, he will be incapable!” she sighed.
“I know something of medicine perhaps I can help?” I offered.
“Oh I think not,” she answered, “One of our sisters has a splinter.”
“Then lead on,” I suggested, “I shall swiftly get my bag and my tweezers.”
“Up inside her, her dildo splintered,” she sighed, “I think you will need more than a pair of tweezers.”
“Up her?” I queried as I recoiled in shock.
“Vagina, cunt what ever your favourite name for a woman’s sexual organ is,” she sighed again, “So take me to the doctor and stop wasting my time.”
I showed her to the Stag and went to rouse the doctor. He was still sensible, after a fashion, but not exactly at the peak of his powers.
“Doctor, you must come, a Sister has a splinter up her vagina,” I explained urgently.
“Right,” he agreed instantly, “On the table with her lads legs akimbo, lets see what we’re dealing with.”
Two burly chaps grabbed my companion and lofted her onto the table and despite her protests spread her legs wide.
“Ahhhh,” The doctor said as he lofted her robe and exposed her hairy mound, for she wore nought under the robe. “Using those old carved statues again.”
“Its not me!” she protested rather too feebly as the doctor thrust a pudgy finger between her lower lips, "Its Sister Ouch!".
“How far in?” he asked as he pressed further.
“Its another sister not, oooh, me!” she gasped.
“Doctor its not her,” I explained.
“Shut it pup,” a burly laborer hissed, “This be the best show we had in a while.”
“Is that it?” the doctor asked.
“No, Nooooo” the nun protested rather feebly.
“Anyone with a longer finger?” the Doctor asked.
“Hold her cunt open so’s we can see better,” the Landlord suggested.
“It’s, Oooh, not,” the nun tried to explain.
“Help her off with this robe,” The doctor suggested drunkenly.
Willing hands pulled her robe over her head.
“Its not,” she protested, but a burly yokel was now caressing her tits.
“Its not her!” I explained only to be pushed towards the door.
“I said shut it now shut it!” he ordered.
“No I don’t have a splinter!” she explained. Poor girl. The drunken doctor misunderstood and was now dropping his pants.
“Oh for pity’s sake,” she wailed, but the doctors pudgy cock was already pressing into her.
His cock was suffering from brewers affliction and bent as he tried to force it in her, slipping out twice before a burly yokel loosed his fly to release at least a foot of solid man meat.
Sister Pious’s eyes were wide like saucers as she started at the man’s momster cock with its bulbous purple head, “No,” she said rather feebly and unconvincingly.
“Let a man in,” the yokel insisted as he pushed the doctor aside and unerringly rammed his meat deep into Sister Pious’s vagina.
“It’s not her,” I insisted.
“Shut it, this is the best show we had for ages,” a Yokel insists and pushed me towards the door.
“Oooohhhh,” Sister Pious cooed as his cock slid easily inside her.
“Me next,” another yokel chuckled as he dropped his trews to reveal a thick pudgy cock to the admiring gaze of the barmaid and some rather jealous gentlemen and lesser yokels.
Sister Pious had long since given up all pretence of resistance and had her legs wrapped around the yokel while shouting “Yes, yes, harder, harder,” and “Ohhhhh.”
“Its not,” I explained.
“Shut up and watch or bugger off,” a yokel insisted, so after no more than ten minutes watching them cavort and explore several unlikely positions I decided that as I seemed not to be welcome the best course was to go to the monastery myself.
I duly collected my bag and a pair of slender tweezers and made haste to the monastry. It was only two or three miles and with the Ostler gone home it was less trouble to walk than get a horse saddled.
I arrived well after supper time. I knocked loudly on the door and after some ten minutes a sleepy nun opened a small slide spy hole and asked, “What do you want?”
“I understand a nun requires medical attention,” I declared urgently.
“Really?” she retorted, “Not just after a glass of wine and a warm by the vestry fire?”
“No, Sister Pious was sent to get a Doctor,” I explained.
“Ah Sister Pious,” she agreed, “And did she have a name for the affliced nun.”
“No,” I explained, “She merely said the poor girl had a splinter from her dildo up her.”
The slide slammed shut abruptly, I knocked again.
“Go away,” the nun shouted, “Before we send for the Constable.”
“But sister Pious is being ravished,” I shouted.
I heard the nun shout, “Sister Pious has escaped again,” then a commotion and the door was flung open and I was admitted.
A somewhat dishevelled Mother Superior hurried to meet me, “What has Pious done now?” she demanded.
“She said a nun needed medical help and the Doctor is indisposed,” I explained, “Whereas I am a medical student.”
“He said a nun had dildo splinters up her.” the first nun explained only to be cut short.
“Really well young man, well first we nuns do not use dildos,” Mother superior explained.
“No we use candles and the round bit on our crucifix,” a third nun said brightly until she noted the Mother Superior’s scowl.
“But Sister Pious said someone had splinters,” I explained as more nuns appeared roused by the commotion.
“So where is Sister Pious?” The Mother Superior asked, “Is she enjoying a yard of ale in the Stag?”
“More like a foot of yokel’s cock,” I retorted rudely, “The last time I saw her she was completely naked, legs akimbo being shafted by.”
“Enough! I think we get the idea,” the Mother Superior declared, “She does this every now and again, I would imagine she will be back some time in the next week or so.”
“But what about the splinters?” I asked.
“Young man I can assure you,” The Mother Superior insisted until one nun said awkwardly.
“It was me, I asked Sister Pious for help, my crucifix...” she said.
“And mine,” another nun agreed.
“Me too,” another agreed, “My Crucifix is all rough and.”
“Dear lord do I have a flock of harlots,” The Mother Superior sighed, “Very well, you may use the infirmary for your examinations.”
“Mine worked themselves out,” one nun admitted.
“And mine,” another one agreed.
“Mine are very painful,” another nun admitted, “Would you mind examining me?”
“Do your worst,” The Mother Superior agreed and she strode away quite angrily.
The affected nun was called Sister Martha, she was only about twenty years of age or so which un nerved me somewhat, and quite comely with a perfect peach and a mound covered in a light furry down as I was soon to find.
She showed me to the infirmary, “I am sorry to bother you but it is rather uncomfortable,” she simpered.
“Just lay on the slab and part your knees,” I suggested. I lofted her robe as she did so but there was little enough to see by candle light. I eased a finger into her. She sighed quite contentedly which I found quite surprising as was the slipperiness of her innards.
I managed to get three fingers inside her, “Am I anywhere near?” I asked.
“No,” she said, “You need something longer.”
“I have tweezers but I can’t see.” I admitted.
“Then use your cock,” an ageing nun suggested from behind me, “Isn’t it obvious she doesn’t have a splinter, she just needs a cock.”
“No, I do have a splinter, I’m a good chaste girl,” sister Martha insisted.
“Chased by half the lads in Borchester,” the elderly nun chorted, “Go on young man, mount her, flood her with your seed and wash the splinter out, thats what the good doctor does.”
Now to be honest my member was already straining at the leash and when the elderly nun camem behind me and loosed my fly buttons he sprang free in an instant.
“I can’t,” I protested but Sister Martha was staring wide eyed at my cock and her was straining to get inside her and I was powerless to resist.
“Take that!” I chortled as my member speared unerringly inside her, “Take all of Aggggghhhhhh!”
I found the splinter the painful way. I withdrew in horror to find two inches of oak splinter now speared through my foreskin. “Dear god!” I protested as I pulled it out with trembing fingers, “There really was a splinter!”
“Oh my hero,” sister Martha said, as she stared at my damaged cock, “Let me kiss it better.”
“Ram it back in her cunt juice is a great healer,” the elderly nun opined and it did seem the most sensible measure so I did.
“Oh that is so soothing, much nicer than a candle,” she cooed.
“Indeed my cock seems much less painful now,” I agreed, “I am so busy studying that I seldom find time for a fuck.
It felt very odd to be fucking a nun while almost fully clothed but any port in a storm they say and I own Sister Martha was an admirable fuck and as I soon found as she pulled her robe up to reveal them she had delectable breasts as well.
The Mother Superior reappeared, “Fucking, why am I not surprised?” she opined, “No doubt you will need to do a follow up check tomorrow. Do you know I sometimes think I am running a Brothel rather than a nunnery.”
“Yes I think I should check tomorrow,” I agreed.
The Mother Superior rolled her eyes to heaven. “I know, why not take her Martha home with you and use her like a whore until you grow tired of her then send her back.”
“I fear I might never tire of fucking her,” I agreed, “But it does sound like a capital idea.”
“I was being sarcastic,” The Mother Superior explained sadly.
“Well it won’t matter, we can put any child in our orphanage,” a nun suggested, “With Sister Pious’ two and.”
“Hold your tongue,” the Mother Superior ordered but the die was cast.
Sister Martha squeezed my cock with pleasure and suddenly I was unable to restrain myself and my seed burst forth in a great torrent sending my mind straight to heaven.
My cock seemed no worse for the experience apart from a superficial wound on my foreskin and my job done I dressed and prepared to leave.
“Shall you take Sister Martha with you?” the Mother Superior asked sarcastically.
“No, the night is cold, I shall send for her on the morrow,” I announced, and collecting my traps together I departed.