I've heard dozens, maybe hundreds of guys ask over the years... "How do get my wife to have a threesome, or go to a swing club... or or or! Here are the insights I've gained in making any of those new scary steps happen without blowing up the relationship. I'll give it to you step by step.
Who I Am and How We Met
Up until this point I've said little about myself. Here's a brief personality bio.
My German grandparents on both sides homesteaded their land just miles from each other. I had two of the best parents anyone could have. My entire family is pretty brilliant. I was the last child, the baby of the family. I grew up fast, huge for my age. Got my first guns, a .22 and 16 ga on Christmas and hunted by myself from that point on. Grew up on a very cool fruit farm. Had great dogs as my best friends. Was 6' and 170 lbs and towered over anyone in grade school. Dominated as a pitcher, throwing very hard and nearly always a no hitter. Probably the smartest kid in my class. Selected from around the county to be included in an experimental advanced track eight grade math class in a nearby city. My parents paid a heavy tuition to get me into it. Was one of the top athletes there, sophomore class president in a class of 400, joined a rock band that same year as it's primary vocalist, always dated pretty girls.
But then Ash showed up just before I graduated. Smart. Acting more mature than most seniors, from a large family of intellectuals. Stunningly beautiful. I could talk to her for hours and often did for the rest of the school year. I married her the year I graduated from college.
What Kind of Lunatic Goes for This?
When I first read about the Hot Wife or Cuckold phenomena it didn't appeal to me at all! I imagined those cucks would have to be some kind of effeminate wimp to really go for that shit. And why? What the hell was the turn on? What was in it for them? I could see why the wives would love it... Free to have sexual encounters anytime they wanted with their husband's approval AND encouragement!
He in turn worshipped her, served her, cooked for her, cleaned for her, bought everything she desired, maybe even was confined in a chastity device while she held the key allowing him to cum only when she "felt like it" if at all. Yup. That had to be some kinda perverted wimp.
It was years later that I learned the typical cuckold is an "alpha type," often highly successful, very intelligent and accustomed to ordering people around...except now, when it came to his exceptional woman. The more alpha they were, the more likely they would end up in a chastity device with her holding the key. Alphas can flip that way. Tops to bottoms. It's pretty intriguing psychology.
Did you know the chastity device thing is reported to be the fastest growing kink worldwide? And that many millions of devices have been sold in America? More on that later. Let's get back to the story linge.
How We Conquered Resistance
Ashley did come home later that Sunday afternoon. It wasn't the end of the world nor our marriage. But things would change more significantly after that point. Ash was very defensive when she walked through the door and anything but apologetic. She was tired. Too tired and unwilling to tell me about what happened other than they fell asleep together. To this day I don't really know if they had sex. She denied it. Sorta. At the time I kept asking myself, "how could they not have, considering how far the affair had already progressed?"
She just curled up on the couch with some hot tea and buried herself in a book. Any attempt at conversation was going nowhere.
Days later things starting getting back to normal if I can really use that word when referring to the two of us. I guess we were just too addicted to our little anticipation sessions prior to her going to see Alex. Ash still would not admit they had sex and because Sunday was a bit traumatic for her, she wouldn't even admit she ever hoped to. It was a bit of a set back.
However, within a few weeks, seeing Alex and messing around together was clearly what motivated her and going to work each night was no longer "about work." There still was plenty of resistance and it baffled me because I clearly felt her desire for him while in bed with me before work.
"Desire/resist" is a bitch. Kinda like one foot on the gas while the other was jamming the brakes. I viewed it as all about getting over the hurdle of intercourse. We had to change that.
I of course started priming the fantasies. Genitals were now on the agenda.
We had been married 20 years but this was going to be the first time I realized the extent "cocks and cum" had always been Ash's powerful erotic trigger.
I would be asking these types of questions while I was on Ash's clit...
"Have you seen his cock? How big do you think it is? Can you tell when he gets a hard on while you two are making out? He does get hard right? Have you bumped into it? Felt it? Is it exciting to know you have that affect on him? Have you imagined what his cock would feel like in your mouth? Or what it will feel like when he cums in it? Are you going to save the cum rather the just swallow it? Or open your mouth to let him see it there? Oh Ash, it's so much hotter when the guy believes you love the taste of his cum! You've gotta do that for him. He gunna pass out in his excitement! Let him see the pool of cum in your open mouth. Swirl it around with your tongue. Let it drip down your chin. Squish it between your teeth. Make him believe you love the taste so much you don't even want to swallow it! Oh Ash it could go to this... French kiss him and shove some cum into his mouth! Get him to pass it back and forth with you!
Yea talking shit like that got her hot and planted some enticing erotic thoughts. The trick was not getting so carried away with the sex talk that I couldn't keep her clit on edge. Sometimes it wasn't possible and she would explode in a body shaking orgasm. Often I did too and that always ended our playtime. So the game became not letting her cum! Sweet torture!
Or I'd go here while I was tweezing her mound...
"Has he seen your gorgeous pussy yet? Damn it's so beautiful. I could do this all day! (And I regularly spent hours there until later when she thought it was sexier to have a well groomed bush!) You must let him see this! We've been getting you ready for weeks now. Ash I'm so proud of the way you look down here. You don't understand how beautiful it is. I promise you this, once he sees your pussy, once he tastes it, he's yours forever. Just like I am. Has he ever reached in your panties? Do you want him to? Don't you want to show him how smooth you are? Being so bald makes you look so young!"
"Should we go shopping again at Victoria's or Frederick's? Next time we do, I want you to step outside the dressing room after you change so I can see only "it" on you... far enough outside so others can see you too! Wouldn't that be hot! What if the guys there saw you in those skimpy thongs and bulging bras? You're always the prettiest woman there anyway. What if they saw you almost naked? They will be beating off to your image later that night and forgetting about who they are with. Isn't that hot? Don't you dream about being the hot one, the irresistible one, the one they are thinking about when they fuck their wives... imagining, wishing it was you instead?"
Or something like this...
"Do you really want panties on at work? Wouldn't it be hotter to whisper in Alex's ear... 'I've got a secret. I'm not wearing any panties!' Better yet, take them off at your desk before you two start making out. They will already be soaked by then anyway. Just waiting for him to arrive will get you dripping! Then whisper you haven't got any panties on...in his ear while you slip them in his jacket pocket.
Ash I've smelled your panties plenty of times. I always inhale them before I do the laundry. It's the best smell ever, simply intoxicating. You HAVE to start giving them to Alex as trophies! I'll buy you as many as you need. He will take them to bed. Smell them while he beats off and sleep dreaming about you... and wake doing it again with his morning wood, first thing in the morning. I guarantee it!
Ash... When Alex starts sleeping with your panties it will be the next best thing to sleeping with you! It won't be long and he will want you to stay the night. Have you ever thought about that? Sleeping at his house? Wouldn't that be hot? Waking up with your other lover? Maybe spending your weekends together? Ash, feel my cock. Look how hard it is. Believe me when I say this... It would be so excruciatingly hot for me to have to be right here, in bed alone, while you're spending the night with him! Knowing you two were fucking all night long! Think about it Ash... Can you imagine how sexy it would feel to be in bed with him, realizing you could now sleep with him whenever you wanted to? Wouldn't it be even hotter knowing you have the power to make me suffer here alone? Fuck that's hot!"
This kinda sex talk was transforming us both. I would often end up suggesting things to her that later would make me cringe wondering, "where the hell did that come from? Can't believe I said that to her!"
So... Are you getting the idea? Sex talk like the above needs to be used only when both of you are on an erotic edge. In addition, you have to let your sex talk evolve slowly, over weeks. You can't dump a bunch of ideas on her all at one time. Each one of those questions I posed could be the mental exercise that occupies an entire evening...by simply expanding it and dwelling on it until her climax.
It works with even many of the most resistive women... I know. I've done it with several over the years. (I expect to eventually get to that.) It works especially well if you don't just jump into it hot and heavy. Baby steps my friend. Take your time. Sometimes it's two steps forward one step back, like it was with Ash after that traumatic Sunday. Be patient, trust the power of eroticism and never ever cross too heavily or too quickly into the "gross out territory."
For instance smelling panties. Inhaling panties. Be careful. That's gross out to most women's left brain kinda thinking. But when she's hot... When she's been on the edge so long she can hardly stand it any longer, new unusual sexual ideas or thoughts sprout in the fertile soil of the right brain and from then on she might find many new ways to use her panties. They may become her favorite teasing toy!
Here's a final tip and one that proved vital to the whole fantasy process. So listen up...
We both would often be saying and contemplating things in that high erotic state that we simply would never dream up in our normal mindsets. That includes me too! Guess what often happened after we climaxed? The gross out factor came heavily into play! So this is what we learned to say nearly every time after our crazy talk...
"Erase the tape!"
We both agreed that whatever was said in bed during fantasizing and indulging into wild imagination... stayed in bed! Neither of us was allowed to hold each other accountable to what seemed fun while being all jacked up. Once we started doing that, actually saying those words...
Erase The Tape!
We could often laugh about it all, post orgasm. They became very very important safe words for both of us. It allowed us to explore more deeply and much more quickly into our imaginative worlds without provoking regret or more resistance when the session was over.
Now, if you were even close to your erotic edge when you read all that, you might have thought the above was kinda hot sex talk. If so, fine. I hope it helps.
However some of you probably thought I was just being devious, scheming, manipulative and out of integrity to our marriage. That's what I would've thought only a few months earlier, before we started all this. But here's how I viewed it then and even more fully, how I view it now.
Ashley possessed erotic tendencies as much as I did. Maybe more. Most women do and that's why "they" sell millions of romantic novels every year. The difference seems to be this. A woman's erotic nature can be more subtle than a guy's and therefore more easily restricted or impeded by their acquired resistances. There are plenty out there in our society... Cultural, religious and family indoctrinations which cause blocks! That's why sexuality is so damn hard to sort out or counsel. It's all just a fickin maze of "desire vs resistance" leaving all of us and maybe especially women, trapped unable to really enjoy sex. That kind of mixed up confusion is pervasive in other areas of life and extends far and wide...influencing everything we do. Eroticism and using your erotic edge can help you to learn about your particular "desire/resist" setup and give you many chances to practice how to get beyond those resistances. That my friend, frees up a whole lot more in your life than just "how you get off, how often you get off, or who you get off with."
If you can help someone get out of that maze, you'll be doing them a huge favor. Ash and I both came to realize that. We became very different people. Less dependent people. More self actualized. And everything in our lives started to change once that happened.
If you want to go alternative in your lifestyle and turn that sweet young thing of yours into a living breathing sex machine, you better consider that most things in your lives are going to be different. Seriously consider that because here's an insight "they don't tell you...."
"Going alternative is usually the guys idea. But once there, the woman almost always runs the show. She will likely develop a greater sexual appetite than you. Is that what you want? Could be... but you won't really know til ya try it. For me, there's nothing more beautiful than a woman with "an appetitive!"
I've seen this dominance switch many times to various degrees. When women start topping, one guy, one cock will never be enough any more.
So much happened from this point on in our story. In so many ways it became, "the absolute best of times and the absolute worst of times." If you're going to take this ride you need to buckle up. It will seem like a roller coaster at times. But it is one hellava ride...and like no other.
Ok it's time to tell you how Ash started dragging me along with her luscious nipples, beautiful breasts, and perfect pussy to nude beaches.