Kyle gets his revenge
It all started when Kyle, a city slicker with a large cranium enrolled at Truth University. Kyle had been down on his luck after his step-son Little Saint was killed in a horific DDR accedent that left most of the JV ultimate frisbee team maimed. He had only gotten in to Truth University cuz his black Uncle Tommy was the Janitor. One day Tommy was all like: "Kyle, there are two types of janitors, they is good janitorz ans then they is the greatest janitorz. WHICH ONE YOU WANA BE" before Kyle could answer, Tommy got all in his face and was like: "YOU JUST CALL ME NIGGA, I MAY CARY A GUN, EAT CHICKEN AND IMPREGNATE WHITE WOMEN BUT I AIN'T YO NIGGA!!!!111!11!!"

Kyle got all mad intimidated n shitz from the janitor but until he saww this fine ass nigga chick in heritage hall when he was studying for his finances class. He approached her and wuz like "YO FINE HOOCHY" but she boyfriend al "YO YOU HITTIN' ON MY CHIX MAD BACK OFF SON." And so it was so.

Her boyfriend, Jasone, was of the dark-skinned persuasion. He was long and tall, he was the king of them all. He would walk into clubs, point his fingers at all his buds, and everyone would just have a great time. Kyle recognized him, he was his mentor. Truth University had this program known as "The Mentor Programme." This was where sophomores, who think they know everything but really don't, show a froshy how to act around caompus. But the chick he was with, who Kyle didn't know, was smokin' (and I mean really hot, not like actually smoking, she seems like the smart type who wouldn't want to waste her life with cancer) and Kyle made his primary objective to get wit dat. But first, he had to eliminate the one person between himself and this chick: Jasone.

Kyle enacted a hare-brained scheme to kille Jasone. While Jasone's motocaide was driving through Dealy Plaza in Dalas Kyle would hide in the 5th floor window of the Texas School Bok Depository and wait until the exact right second to shoot Jasone and Governor Conelly (which we all know is impossible, its like Kyle could have never acted alone and it was obviouslly a vast conspiracy that went to the highest levels of our governmont INCLUDING LYNDON JOHNSON AND J EDGAR HOOVER) but back to the topic at hand Kyle had been watching alot of Oliver Stone movie and then he watched Alexander which was totally gay with dudes fucking each other but kyles was all like ambigous whether he like it our not cuz he was like "it was well directed" but the content was gay and shit. But in conclusion black people don't understand movies that were made in like 1975!!!!!!

Before he could get to the execution (or even planning) of any sort of plan, he had to learn more about this girl. He went on FaceBook (might as well call it StalkerBook) and looked her up. Her name was Rashanda Finn and she was a size 42b tits or something. Her hair was long and boodifull and she liked to party and make poster boards (more like poser boards) of who was hooking up at Truth University. After her facebook, he googled her ALL NIGHT LONG. AW YEA! But srsly, Kyle jacked off like twice a minute to the slutty pictures she posted of herself, including the one where she had a camel toe. She knows what I'm talking about ;)

But then something catastrophic happened. David Zuckoff, or whoever created facebook, changed the rulz so that you could only view someone's profile (and therefore his/her picts) if you were friends with that person. Kyle realized that he had to derive some way for him to meeet Rashanda so that he could totes friend that on facebook.

The next day, in between his computer engineering class and his russian literature class, he sought her out in the hallway. He noticed her golden hair at the end of the hall and walked towards her, as she walked towards him to get to the psycology 101 class, located near Kyle. As she approached, Kyle intentionally dropped all of his books at hear feet. She bent down to help him and he couldn't help but stare down her shirt at her nipplz. She said "oh good gracious I'm so sorry" in a shirll voice. Kyle smiled and said in a really uncooth way "Sorry I did that. I'm Kyle by the way." She smiled at him, gathered herself and continued to her class.

That knight, Kyle friended Rashanda on facebook and JEREKED THE GERKIN to all her totes sweet pics. Just as Kyle was in the middle of his 67th orgams black uncle Tommy came in and was all like: "Kyle, you masturbate all the time but i ain't mad HEY" then Kyle Bukkaked all ovre uncle Tommy's janitor stick (aka mop) and Tommy cried because in Africa he used to be a King (who wasn't???)

When he was done with his thing, he went into the closet in his dorm. On the first day, Kyle had hid a giant knife behind a spot where the plaster was separating from the cement wall. He grabbed it and kept it with him as he wrote down some notes in his giant notebook. The knife helped him concentrate.

Mostly the notes he wrote down were on how he would get rid of Jasone. Kyle had witnessed just the other day Jasone feeling up Rashanda (who, by the way, is not black, she just has a really ghetto name) under her skirt. She probably was wearing crotchless panties. Oh how Kyle loved those! He especially loved whe girls would orgasm during class, and there was a rumor that during a psycology 101 class, which is where Jasone and Rashonda met, Jasone fingered her when the teacher wasn't looking and the teacher interpreted Rashanda's moans as pain, and she was excused to go visit the nurse's office (yes, Turth University has a nurse's office) but instead of going there she went to the girls room to finish off what Jasone had started.

Long story short when Rashanda went into the girls room in created a rift in the space time continuum switiching peoples skin color so all the blck people at truth universtiy became white the story is no longer Arapaho.


Anonymous readerReport

2010-05-20 23:36:29
I have no complaints about this story. Sure, it ain't porn, but it's really fucking funny


2009-03-31 06:35:25
you sound like a 4channer, fresh off the boards who decided to attempt to write an erotic story, and failed spectacularly. Honestly? Pack up, try again and this time you may want to make it more...oh I don't know...erotic?


2009-03-15 12:31:56
right lets start. Grammar is not perfect. There was no Enema no Death no Cock and Ball torture and no Snuff. I also found it Racust.
As far as criticism goes. Proof read your storie before posting and please describe your storie as accurately as you can

Anonymous readerReport

2008-11-14 02:48:18
Is this a joke?

Anonymous readerReport

2008-10-12 11:01:35
your pc probably has spell check,learn to use it.Then go back to grade 3 and learn all about periods and commas

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