| 2007-06-22 22:49:47 |
The pros and cons of breathing
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seems like a rough outline to a story hat has potential. Keep working at it. |
| 2007-06-24 22:43:33 |
The pros and cons of breathing
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you repeat abit, but I agree, its a good outline. Just keep working on it. |
| 2007-12-09 01:29:17 |
The pros and cons of breathing
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you should clarify who is speaking in the last 3 paragraphs to make it less confusing. good story. keep writing |
| 2008-03-13 00:35:50 |
The pros and cons of breathing
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kinda sucks. |
| 2007-05-13 20:33:09 |
Sins of the Father G
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this was really good, made my pussy wet |