So I had a thought that led me down a rabbit hole of sex calculation... i know that sounds like the set up for a kinky sci fi story but it's not fictional and it's not even kinky. It's just math of sex.
TIME
When I was young, an adult trying to be helpful said “there are 24 hours in a day; 8 for work, 8 for sleep and 8 for everything else. I very rarely sleep fully 8 hours but by the time I hit 35 I realized l must've spent a decade of my life asleep. The math was unavoidable.
A few years after that the question occurred to me how much of a stud or slut would someone have to be to have over a year of sex.
Masturbation sure. I have been single often enough that I have killed two or 2.5 hours daily reading or watching porn and cumming once or twice. Sex though is a different calculation.
Let's break it down further. Take each type of sex individually. Say a slutty young lady can blow a cock in 15 minutes for every 4 blowjobs that's an hour of her life. That's 96 blowjobs to be 24 hours of having a cock in her mouth. For a year of blowjobs would be 96 times 365
35040 blowjobs. That's 4 or 5 a day every day for 20 years.
If it takes 20 minutes per bj then it would be 3 bjs an hour. Math math math 26280 blowjobs needed to have sucked dick for a year 3.5 blowjobs a day everyday for 20 years.
Alternative calculation.
Say a woman has a 2 hour gang bang 3 times a week 52 weeks a year 3 holes stuffed. Once one penis vacated an orifice another instantly takes its place. In two and a half years she'd have a years worth of dick in her orifices.
Alternative calculation again.
Say your 10 year plan was to be filled with dick or to have your dick in an orifice for a total of 365×24 hours 8760 hours. That's easy math of 876 hours of sex a year. 73 hours of sex a month. 16.8 hours of sex a week. 2.4 hours of sex a day not foreplay cock in orifice 2.4 hours a day…144 minutes. A woman could have a daily 3 hole gangbang and do it 45 minutes a day… but I don't think she'd have rectal function after a few months let alone a decade. If only vaginal and oral an hour and a quarter a day.
Same math if you wanted to take 20 years instead of 10: 72 minutes a day.
30 years 45 minutes a day.
Which makes me wonder if my sexual history is close to that. Masturbation and sex included. Sometimes it is a 2 hour session but sometimes it's a quick 10 minutes just to unload so I can sleep. Okay say I've been masturbating around 30 ish years with the goal of 8760 hours of amassed sexual activity either solo or with others. 8760÷30=292 hours yearly divide that by 52 because I know i don't/haven't often masturbated daily and it's 5.6 times a week (for an hour session, which it isn't always.) I really don't think I've made it. I am not boastful enough to say I make love to women non stop for 5 hours a night each night.
In my younger years of jerking. it would be at least once a day, often more but also often not lasting very long. Modern me is only 3 times a week but maybe 2 hours a session which i think I am hitting the weekly allotment now more than my younger days. Obviously sex is more often now than the first 5-6 years of masturbation… as is internet access. The old days of found magazines and sneakily borrowing an uncle's vhs tape, scrambled porn channels on cable, girls gone wild infomercials etc.
But time marches on as well my appetite is shrinking.. not quickly I'll hit my one year mark before I'm 50 (5 ish years)
I still wonder how quickly professionals could do it. People get obsessed with pornstars right? Take a long-careered star, map out their scenes watch it on 10x speed count how many minutes of penetration. We're not counting dialogue here. I don't think it's possible to have a year filmed even with dialogue it'd be tough. Other sex workers is possible, likely even… I can't help thinking most cases work. It'd be the bad exploitative kind though… which isn't sexy for me. Consent and standard of living being things I want people to have because I'm not a monster. They would not feel a lot of pride in that achievement.
Blech need to get that bad juju out of my head. So let's switch gears
DISTANCE
What about length… how long have you fucked. Penis size times thrusts per session times number of sessions.
80 thrusts a minute… I pulled up a stopwatch and counted, laugh if you want.
Size minus an inch as not every thrust is full removal and not every thrust bottoms out times 80 times average number of minutes per session × number of times having sex ÷12 to get feet thrust. A reasonably sexually active man should be over a mile of pipe laid. I'm guessing I'm about 3/5s of a mile but I spent a lot of time single. The smaller sized and those lasting shorter times or slower thrusters will take longer. Meanwhile the longer lengthed, the longer lasting, the faster thrusting and the more sessions will hit it quicker….
Let's do the math 5280 feet in a mile. Alright. So the porn star rule used to be 8-8-8, with 8 people watching. You have to be 8 inches long, at least and fuck for 8 minutes uninterrupted.
I tried looking this up and I couldn't find much on it, and the one thing I did find was a reddit post, and it said 80 minutes uninterrupted. But no one is fucking uninterrupted, without pause for an hour and 20 minutes.
Obviously they go longer than 8 minutes in a session but they adjust every so often. Cut is called I assume they hydrate (I've never seen a single shot no cuts hour and 20 minute porn vid I don't think it was ever an industry standard)
But fuck it, I'll do the math both ways 8 inches minus one for staying seated during thrusts. Average thrusting speed let's lessen it to 70 thrusts a minute, 8 minute between cuts (I'll do the 80 minute one too) but they could do several repositions 326 and ⅔ feet between cuts (over 108.75 yards, more than an nfl football field in 8 minutes with their dick) after 16 of these cuts he's laid a mile of pipe. 16.163265 exact number. And that's just a scene before cuts there could be 5-10 of those a film.
The dude that goes for 80 minutes. Non-stop is already for the well over half a mile in one session. Actually it's .61 miles. I also dropped this theoretical eighty minute madman too one thrust a second, and he's still .53 miles a session. I still think that's ridiculous but maybe they meant 80 minutes aggregate including pausing for repositioning and hydration still sporting a woody. That's easily more reasonable but the action is what i mean.
Think about the males in the business 2 films to get a mile. If they can do 52-55 films that is a marathon of fucking. 26.219 miles.
There can be an argument that this is a miscalculation. The preceding statements were only for thrusts in. You could consider that 7 inches in and 7 inches pulling back to set up for the next thrust is actually 14 inches per thrust. I don't know if I agree but feel free to halve the time needed to hit those milestones if you think that's the case. For a mile or is 75 minutes 26 seconds for 8 inches length at one thrust a second. Or about a mile a porn film. It puts my total over a mile too obviously I'm not an 8 inch guy.
Odd, to think about most times when you're talking about fucking, you're talking about how how far you can thrust and a lot of this math. It's dependent on how much you can withdraw and not fall out. Tip for the gentlemen out there considering that most of the vaginal feeling is at the opening we all should be aiming for getting this amount as small as possible.
METRIC
Fuck I'm American the rest of the world is metric km and 8 inches is .0002032 km (look obviously you metric folks measure in cm or mm for the unfortunate but I want my math to be easier I'd mess up the decimal places if I converted twice for no reason) 7 inches to allow for an inch wiggle room during thrusting is .0001778 (7 inches is 17.78 cm 8 inches is 20.32 to make everyone happy) so an 8 minute scene between cuts would be 99.5 meters almost a tenth of a kilometer in 8 minutes. 11 8 minute scenes would put them over a quarter (10 and a tiny bit…. Like if he just thrust a bit faster than usual a couple of times then it's 10)
As stated before if you consider thrusting in and pulling out should be each 17 cm then we're saying that a kilometer would be achieved in 40-45 minutes of thrusting instead of 80-90ish.
DISTANCE PART 2
I thought of this while looking stuff up in a later section.
And when I googled it I loved the quote so much I'll copy it here:
“What's the furthest distance someone has shot a load? According to Masters and Johnson, the record is eight feet (2.4 meters). Ejaculate can also travel at an approximate speed of 45kms an hour, which "is why some people don't like it at the back of their throats.”
I think that is a hilarious quote also, i've heard of Masters and Johnson and the Kinsey report, I'm sure that they would have this math that I'm trying to figure out. Just in case, if you want to go and read actual scientists, talk about this.
Other articles said the average was between 2 or 3 feet ( in metric between .6 and .9 meters). I'm not putting a tarp down and getting the measuring tape so I'll just trust they are correct.
So when it's not going into a partner, a hand, a condom, or a sock. To cum the distance of a mile would take between 2640 and 1760 cums. For that record holder of 8 feet cums he'd have to cum 660 times to cum a mile.
For the metric enthusiasts to get to a kilometer you would have to cum between 1666 times and 1111 times. And the champion who could reach 2.4 meters in a single cum he'd have to cum 417 times to get to a kilometer.
SPEED
In the quote above it said a guy could cum at 45 km an hour. Translating that into American that is just under 28 miles per hour (27.962)
INTERLUDE
I am just seeing if there's anything else. One could calculate calories burned but that's pretty dependent on the energeticness of the individuals involved. Joules for energy? I have no idea how to calculate it. Newtons to measure force? Actually I'd be interested in knowing how much force is generated by sex but A. There are too many variables to take into account and B. There would be huge swings of variation from session to session, participant to participant. Ah google, you actually know the answer to this question. In terms of piercing, a vagina with a penis, it takes between six and fourteen newtons. For anal between 16 and 51 Newtons with a median of 26.5. Ah the internet…
The women (or the receiver) is there a method to calculate grip strength over period of time? I can't think of a method to test that.
VOLUME
One could calculate volume of ejaculate. Google says, the hour is between 1.5 and 5 milliliters (or ¼ teaspoon to a teaspoon)
per orgasm. I couldn't even know pretend to guess how many orgasms i've had in my life so I couldn't begin to calculate my own (and let's be honest, that was part of my interest in the first place for the other calculations) but I can do the conversions and try to extrapolate. Metric 100 orgasms is half a liter so 200 for a liter (for the easier math five mill per cum if we go by the smaller amount of 1.5 mills per is 666 cums (heavy metal guitar)). In Imperial measures for each teaspoon amount of cum, it would take 768 orgasms to cum a gallon multiply that by 4 if you only cum a quarter teaspoon for 3072 cums.
Or to swallow that amount … if you read in a sex story that she felt like she swallowed a gallon after blowing a guy (or several) she didn't she's got a long way to go.
To be fair, though, it varies from orgasm to orgasm.Some days, it's copious and some days it's light.
Light… light fuck what about weight.
WEIGHT
Oh, I just looked it up and it's kind of boring.
But I guess it's not too surprising.
Semen is essentially water. So the weight is essentially the same as water, which is one gram per milliliter so between 1.5 grams and 5 grams per cum (.0015-.005 kg) it'll take between 200 and 666 cums to hit a kilogram of cum
In Imperial the weight of a cum is between .0033 and .011 lbs. So about 91-302 cums to get to a pound of cum.
The problem with weight and volume of ejaculate is it varies not only from person to person but also from session to session. And nearly all men know their own size but cum amounts change daily.
The thing is dealing with large variations in the small amounts creates enormous margins in the bigger amounts. 400+ variance in number (or 2200 in the volume equations) is way too big a gap to make it meaningful.
I've probably cum 3000 in my life so is that a gallon of cum or over 4 gallons? There have been many years (moreso in my youth) I've cum over 300 times. Is that one pound of cum or over 3?
CONCLUSION
As far as I'm concerned, with shifts that wild I find it less fun than the time and distance math. I'm sure there are variances there as well but they're not as drastic. The variances are for the most part noticeable with regards to time and distance. You could say to yourself “fuck yeah I lasted longer than my usual and pounded her good,” or the opposite in instances of premature ejaculating.
But I never seem to say I only came 3/4s of the amount I usually do. I don't think I'm the outlier in this.