I want to thank my friend and Editor Jim (Mojavejoe420) for helping me.
As always, I love your comments and critiques. They give me inspiration and help me become a better writer.
“Maybe it's not such a bad thing, Mel. I mean… I’ve talked to Lisa and she told me that she has a real problem with John’s size and… you know… when they do it, it's actually painful for her.”
I gave my best friend Alyssa a soft smile and then took a sip of my Diet Coke. It was Saturday night and we had just come back to my house from seeing a movie.
“Well, I definitely don't have that problem.”
We exchanged knowing grins and she spoke again.
“It just doesn't make sense. I mean, he's so big in every other way, you would think that part of him would just be proportional to the rest of him.”
“Well if that were true, he’d probably be dragging the ground.”
She giggled between bites of her pizza.
She was right, though, my boyfriend Michael was a behemoth. The starting middle linebacker of our high school's football team was 6’2” and well over 220 pounds. He had everything going for him: He was a senior, incredibly popular, and it was widely known that college scouts had already been to our school’s football games to watch him play.
“You could always... you know... break up with him I guess.”
“You’d break up with a guy just because he's... small?”
“I didn't say that. I just meant it’s an option.”
Michael treated me wonderfully. He picked me up and drove me to school and took me home before he went to football practice. He introduced me to all of his friends and always took me out on the weekends. It made me feel guilty to even consider breaking up with him because he had a small penis.
“It would be different if he was cheating on me, or somehow treating me badly, but he's a great guy and really sweet.”
“Also, he’s a senior, and two years older than us, and being his boyfriend does do quite a bit for your popularity.”
Alyssa never did mince words.
“Well, there is that.”
We exchanged knowing smiles.
“So sex with Mike isn't that great then?”
“Well he does... other stuff... to make up for his... shortcomings.”
“Maybe you could get him to teach Andy some of his tricks.”
Andy was Alyssa's boyfriend and even though she was happy with his size, he refused to go down on her because he thought it was gross and that really upset her.
“I'll make sure Mike signs Andy up for his ‘Muff Diving 101 Course’ the next time I see him.”
We both burst out laughing again.
“So you haven't been able to... you know... have one during sex?” She asked.
“No. But when he goes down on me, it's pretty easy then.”
“So, you just fake it?”
“Yeah, I don't want to hurt his feelings.”
“He must be really small then.”
“You can't churn butter with a toothpick.”
We both giggled until we heard the front door open. My parents were having a romantic weekend getaway in Santa Barbara, and that meant it could only be one other person coming through the door.
“Brace yourself, hurricane Jim is about to strike.”
“Hey, I heard that,” my brother's voice boomed from the living room.
“You sound drunk, please tell me that you weren't driving,” I said apprehensively.
“I am drunk, but there’s no way I’d waste my own gas and drive, that's what Monica’s for.”
I rolled my eyes just as Alyssa’s mouth dropped open. She was still getting used to the spectacle that was my older brother. He walked right past us and wiped his index and middle fingers on the shoulder of my blouse as he went into the kitchen.
“You better have saved me some of that pizza,” he said, in a booming-drunk voice from inside the refrigerator.
“We did, and what did you just wipe on me?” I asked while observing the clear looking liquid that had now soiled my new blouse.
He put the half empty pizza box on the dining room table along with one of my dad’s beers and slid his chair up against Alyssa’s.
“That would be Monica.”
Alyssa and I both gasped.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said in utter disgust.
“No, I'm not. I thought of washing my hands, but I needed a dramatic entrance.”
The ‘two finger wipe’ was a classic move from the days of my older brothers. To flaunt their sexual prowess of ‘freshly fingering’ a girl, they would often wipe the proof on each other’s clothes, or force one another to smell their fingers.
Fortunately, my oldest brothers Todd and Scott had both moved out of the house several years earlier and now I was the only remaining sibling left to endure this torment.
“You're disgusting, and you didn't have to do that while one of my friends are over.”
“Alyssa's like family and I know she didn't mind,” he said while flashing her his handsome smile.
I couldn't believe my eyes, Alyssa was actually swooning, despite his repulsive behavior. He just had that effect on women and no matter what type of repugnant behavior he displayed, they just couldn’t seem to get enough of him.
“You could be more respectful, though, Jim,” Alyssa said after she had somewhat composed herself.
“Oh, Melanie didn't mind. And truth be told, she thought it was sexy.”
“The hell I did, Mom just bought me this blouse.”
“Oh calm down, you know she'll buy you another one.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Let's change the subject, Alyssa, so Melanie will settle herself down. What movie did you see?”
“We saw ‘Old School’,” Alyssa said while batting her long eyelashes at my brother, “It was really funny.”
“I saw it last weekend and I really loved it. You know, if you wanted to see it again, Alyssa, I could take you tomorrow night.”
“She has a boyfriend, Jim.” I interrupted.
“I know she does, but he's only a sophomore and she’d probably like to spend some time with someone who’s older and more… experienced.”
At this point, Alyssa was blushing again and appeared to be unable to form words due to my brother's smooth diatribe so I had to step in and assist her.
“Yeah, Alyssa will take one case of the clap along with her popcorn for your big date night.”
Jim shot me a dirty look.
“You know that was bullshit, Melanie. Tina was just trying to get back at me by starting that rumor.”
“Yeah, because you slept with her best friend.”
Jim was right and I knew he never had an STD. I couldn’t help myself, though, it was low hanging fruit and an easy way to get under his skin, especially in front of Alyssa who he obviously had a thing for. Furthermore, it was also true that he had cheated on Tina and part of me didn't blame her for starting that ugly lie about him. Tina really loved my brother and he treated her like shit for the majority of the time they were together.
“Some women just don’t know how to share a good thing, but I know Alyssa's not like that, are you honey?” He said while rubbing her thigh under the table.
“You're drunk Jim, why don't you just go to bed.”
“I will if Alyssa tucks me in.”
“Why don’t you text Monica and ask her to tuck you in, she's at your beck and call anyway.”
“I would, but she's a screamer and it would just keep you both up all night. See, who said I wasn't considerate?”
I shook my head and took another sip of my Diet Coke. I loved my brother, but sometimes he was beyond help.
“You're just projecting all of that sexual frustration onto me Melanie because your boyfriend doesn’t have the proper ‘equipment’ to take care of you.”
I scowled at him.
“That's a very disrespectful thing to say about your best friend.”
“I used to tease him about it all the time, at least until he started banging my little sister, then somehow, it just didn’t seem quite as funny.”
I could feel my blood begin to boil. I didn't like my brother’s quick wit and razor sharp tongue directed at me or my relationship with Michael.
“Just go to bed!” I screeched.
“Okay, okay. Take my phone so I don’t drunk-dial Monica,” he said while shakily rising to his feet before wobbling out of the kitchen.
I could hear the creaking as my brother climbed the stairs toward his bedroom.
“Lay off the pizza Alyssa, if your ass gets any bigger there’s no way in hell I can be seen with you.”
Alyssa's jaw dropped open as we heard my brother's bedroom door slam shut.
We tried watching TV but of course, there was nothing on. After a half-hour of randomly flipping through channels, we retreated to my room and laid down on my bed and began talking while perusing through my stacks of old Cosmopolitan magazines.
“Be honest with me Mel, do you think my ass is big like Jim says?”
I couldn't hide my stunned expression.
“You’re kidding me, right? Every part of you looks great, and if you let my drunken buffoon of a brother alter your opinion of how you look, then you must be crazy.”
I wasn't just saying that to be nice because Alyssa Silva was was truly stunning. She moved into our neighborhood from Brazil during our 7th-grade year and we actually met at church while taking our Confirmation classes. She was 5’7”, nearly as tall as me and weighed about 120 pounds. She had dark brunette hair and a deep olive complexion. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say she had the body of a model and every guy in our class was crazy about her and it was very easy to see why.
“I think he was just joking around,” she said.
“He’s drunk and probably won’t even remember talking to us tomorrow.”
“I couldn’t believe he… you know… wiped his dirty fingers on you.”
“Todd is the one who started that nasty shit years ago, and trust me, it pales in comparison to other things they’ve done.”
She smiled at me.
“Still, you're lucky to have older brothers, my house is boring compared to yours.”
Alyssa had two younger sisters who were still in elementary school, so our experiences with our siblings were much different.
“I’ve had to endure the torments of the damned for the past sixteen years,” I teased, “so I’d gladly trade my brother for your sisters and get a few hours peace and serenity.”
We turned our attention back to our respective magazines and I had nearly completed reading an article about which exercises were best to help alleviate menstrual cramps when Alyssa broke the silence.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she.”
I peered over at the Cosmo Alyssa was reading.
“Christy Turlington in a twenty-thousand dollar wedding dress, what’s not to like?”
We smiled at each other.
“I’d give anything to have her body,” she said longingly.
“Oh my God, Alyssa, are you kidding me… you do have her body.”
“Right Mel, she’s like three inches taller than me.”
“And both of you are like… rail thin… I think you need to get your vision checked.”
There were a few moments of comfortable silence while we continued to peruse our magazines until Alyssa again broke the silence.
“Do you ever… you know… compare how you look to other women?”
“I guess I do, but not while I’m looking at Supermodels in Cosmo.”
“So when, then?”
I thought for a moment.
“Sometimes… you know… in the locker room, before or after P.E. I think it’s only natural to look a little and compare yourself to others, but I try not to dwell on it.”
Unfortunately, I wasn’t built like Alyssa and I don’t have that long and lean look. I wasn’t fat by any means, but I had a more athletic body type: big breasts, big bottom, voluptuous. I reasoned that it was human nature to admire the physical attributes in others that I, unfortunately, didn’t possess.
“I do the same thing Mel: sneak glances and compare myself to the girls in our class, especially in P.E. when we’re all semi-clothed or… you know… naked.”
She paused for a moment in reflection.
“I wish my breasts were bigger, like yours.”
“Alyssa, if you had my bigger breasts, then you’d have my bigger ass that went along with them.”
We both giggled.
“Your ass isn’t big, it’s… you know… sexy.”
I smiled at her.
“Jim has told me a million times that I’m the only white girl in Glendale who has a black girl's ass.”
“I think he’s right, you have a sexy black girl’s ass.”
Alyssa was my best friend and I trusted her. She knew all of my secrets and I knew all of hers. The most disconcerting thing was that for the first time in my life, I felt sexual tension around another woman, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Looking, admiring, or comparing myself to another woman from afar was somehow okay. However, talking like this to her and… feeling … like this, especially around her, was different and wrong. Or was it? I wasn’t quite sure yet.
I put those disturbing thoughts out of my mind and quickly decided to change the subject.
“I’m slowing down Alyssa, you ready for bed?”
“Yeah, I’m getting tired too.”
Silently, we undressed and got into our jammies which consisted of sleeper shorts and big, comfortable T-shirts. Could she feel this too? There was electricity in the air… sexual electricity. I could feel her sneaking peeks at me and I very nonchalantly snuck glances at her too while we were changing. I quickly shut off the light and we got into bed.
We bid each other goodnight, but it took hours for me to fall asleep. When sleep finally did come, it was restless and dreamless. Even though nothing happened between us, somehow it was as if a door had been opened, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to close it again.
It was homecoming week. In addition to attending all of my classes and studying, I volunteered to be on the committee that would decorate the gym for the homecoming dance that would take place after the game.
Alyssa and I talked a few times in the hall during the week and were able to spend some brief time at lunch together. Neither of us brought up Saturday night and I was beginning to think that maybe it was just me and the sexual tension that I felt when we were alone together was just in my mind.
On Saturday night, I ended up sitting with Alyssa and Andy and we watched the homecoming game together. I would have loved to have sat with Michael, but of course, he was out on the field playing.
We were all sophomores, but Michael was an upperclassman and had invited me to the dance. Since Alyssa and Andy weren't, they couldn't go and decided on seeing a movie instead. I was going to stay the night at Alyssa's and I told her I’d be there as soon as the dance was over.
I had actually bought two dresses for the dance. The first dress was a simple draped tea-length dress that was plain white and truly God-awful. Yet, it was something my mom would approve of and not give me a hard time about. The dress that I secretly purchased with Alyssa to actually wear was a black Bodycon mini-dress that had side slits in the front which exposed a lot of thigh and a plunging v-neckline and back which put a lot of my breasts on display. It was skin tight and the dramatic black color was the perfect accent to my long blonde hair. Alyssa also let me borrow a pair of her three-inch black pumps which went with the little frock magnificently, and it gave me a few more inches in height so Michael and I would look good together.
The dance was just amazing. Our committee did a great job with the decorations and the gym looked spectacular. I had a wonderful time dancing with Michael and talking to all of his friends. Jim was also at the dance and I knew he was just a little resentful that his little sister, an underclassmen, was at his senior homecoming dance. He was with some girl who Michael told me was from the school we had just played.
I wasn’t sure where the girl was because Jim approached Michael and I by himself while we were sitting out a song that we didn’t feel like dancing to.
“So, enjoying the dance Mike?” Jim said, without even looking at me.
It pissed me off that my own brother wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence.
“Yeah, we’re having a great time,” Mike responded.
“So, where’s the tart that you’re here with?” I said saucily.
Jim shot me a dirty look.
“In the bathroom, I think.” He paused while appraising my dress, “speaking of tarts, I don’t think that’s the dress that mom picked out for you to wear tonight.”
Touche, you bastard.
“Well, everyone here seems to like it, besides you of course,” I said in a syrupy sweet voice.
“You’re just the sophomore slut of the ball aren’t you.”
Michael gave Jim a stern look, tensed up, and clenched his fists.
“I know she’s your sister, but she’s also my girlfriend, so watch how you talk to her.” he said in a deep, gravelly voice.
Michael had at least seventy pounds on my brother, and even though I never witnessed it, he was also rumored to have a quick temper and Jim expeditiously backed down. My brother and I talked shit and ribbed each other like this constantly. Notwithstanding, Jim’s little jabs at my expense didn’t sit well with my boyfriend.
“I was just teasing her, besides, I have to get back to my date anyway. I know she doesn’t look like much, but she puts out.”
I shot Jim a dirty look. The girl he was with was actually really pretty.
“Yeah, you do that,” Michael said, giving my brother one last hard-nosed look as he walked away.
Michael turned and we faced each other.
“I like your brother Mel, and he’s one of my best friends, but sometimes he can be a real asshole.”
“He’s okay, provided he’s taken in limited doses.”
He leaned in and kissed me.
Michael diffused the situation with Jim so quickly.
I knew there was a reason why I kept this guy around.
Aside from the little dust-up with my brother, I was having an amazing evening. However, the jubilant times were tempered by the fact that Alyssa had been on my mind all night and I felt very distracted. Thankfully, Michael didn’t seem to notice. He took me out to a really nice restaurant after the game and he even talked about getting a hotel room for us after the dance, but I was able to talk him out of it. I have to admit, it made me feel guilty like I wasn’t ‘taking care’ of my boyfriend. But to be honest, on that night, he just wasn’t what I wanted.
Michael dropped me off at Alyssa's house around midnight. She was watching TV alone in the living room because her parents and little sisters had already gone to bed.
I told her about the dance, but I tried not to make a big deal about it because I knew she wanted to go, but couldn't.
“So, did Michael get lucky tonight?” she asked with a smile.
“He didn't get all the way laid, but I did take care of him. I told him I was on my period, but I promised to make it up to him next week.”
Having sex with him didn't do much for me anyway, so giving him a blowjob in the parking lot of our school was a quick and simple solution.
“You're just straight-up devious.”
We exchanged smiles and there were a few moments of comfortable silence, until…
“Could we talk about last weekend, Mel?”
My heart skipped a beat. I knew exactly what she was referring to, but I decided to feign ignorance.
“Sure, we can talk about anything.”
She paused as if trying to find the right words.
“Do you ever think about being with a woman?”
Now it was my turn to struggle and attempt to find something meaningful to say.
“I’ve always admired women's bodies, whether at school, in a Cosmo, or looking through my dad's stack of ‘hidden’ Playboys in the back of his closet that he thinks no one knows about.”
I took a deep breath.
“To be honest Alyssa, yes it's something that I've thought about.”
It felt strange giving voice to my bisexual feelings, especially to my best friend. It was something that I didn't even like to think about or admit to myself.
“On Saturday night, were you thinking about me?” She paused and looked directly into my eyes, “because I was thinking about you.”
I took a deep breath.
“Yes, I was thinking about you, but it just raises so many questions for me.”
“Let's talk about them, then.”
I paused for a moment, I didn't even know where to begin. Additionally, I could tell this was something she really wanted, and it was obvious she had thought about this a lot more than I had.
I tried to collect my thoughts.
“The first thing that I know for certain is that it would have to be between you and I, no one else could ever know about it.”
“Of course Mel, that goes without saying. I wouldn't want anyone to know about it either.”
That gave me some relief, at least we were on the same page about that.
“Okay then, what about Andy and Michael? If you and I… you know… would that be cheating on them, or do you think we should break up with them?”
She thought for a moment.
“I’m crazy about Andy and I know you like Michael. I'm not saying we should break up with them. I suppose it would be cheating, but I'm willing to do it if you are.”
“It's not like we'd be going behind their backs and sleeping with their best friends, right?”
I was quickly discovering that Alyssa and I could talk each other into almost anything. Just contemplating having sex with a woman was scary to me and it seemed like such a monumental decision. The more I contemplated my bisexual feelings, the more I knew it was something I didn’t want to just haphazardly do.
“Well, what do you think, Mel?” Alyssa said, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“I need time to think about it and make sure it's what I want, please don't be mad at me.”
“You've always been way too analytical, but I understand if you need time and I'm more than happy to wait for you.”
Unknowingly, I had condemned myself to another restless, sleepless night. Laying in bed next to the woman I was attracted to, yet doing nothing about it, was excruciating. Yet, I held firm. It was a big decision, and I wanted to make sure that if I decided to do it, it wouldn’t be something I’d regret later.
It was another long week and my thoughts were monopolized by Alyssa. She was coming over to my house on Friday night and we’d be able to set some things straight, so to speak. We agreed not to discuss being together at school because we were afraid our friends might overhear us, which could potentially get the rumor mill started.
I lived in a very large house and my parents slept downstairs in the master bedroom and we had four bedrooms upstairs which afforded Jim and I a lot of privacy. It was about eleven o'clock and my parents were already in bed asleep and Jim was out doing God-knows-what, or who.
Alyssa and I had been avoiding the elephant in the room since she had arrived and I could tell she was giddy with anticipation as we sat on my bed together.
“So what did you decide?” she asked.
I wanted to mess with her a little bit.
“Damn, Mel, come on, you know… about us.”
“Oh, I had totally forgotten about that.”
She gave me a wide-eyed expression until I burst into laughter.
“Would you please get serious.”
I thought for a moment.
“I’ve thought about this carefully and I want to explore my bisexual side, but I want to find someone that’s a lot hotter than you because you just don't do it for me.”
I watched as Alyssa's jaw dropped open and then I burst into laughter again.
“God you're such a bitch, Mel.”
We exchanged soft smiles.
“I want to try this with you, but I don't want to feel pressured, or rushed. I want to take things slow and just… you know… let it happen naturally.”
“I think that's a perfect idea.”
We looked into each other's eyes. I wasn't sure what to do next, so I was more than willing to let her take the lead.
“So how do we do this?” I asked softly.
“I want us to get undressed together,” she said, in a voice barely above a whisper, “but I want us to watch each other do it.“
“Okay,” I said hesitantly.
Silently, we both stood up. She kinda took me by surprise by very boldly removing her blouse which exposed her pretty pink lace bra.
I realized what a different experience this was. Up until now, I always had to sneak glances and admire women from afar and it always made me felt like I was lurking in the shadows like some sort of pervert. Openly looking at Alyssa’s body while she looked at mine felt so liberating. Up until now, I had always felt like I was doing something wrong and letting go of that guilt felt amazing.
With trembling hands, I removed my top and I could feel her eyes drinking my body in. She reached out and gently touched my shaking hands to steady me.
She whispered, “It's okay, Melanie.”
Once she released my hand, she unbuttoned her tight jeans and slid them down her caramel colored thighs.
I took a deep breath which helped to calm me down somewhat, and I unbuttoned the fly on my jean skirt and let it fall to the ground. She took a step forward and reached behind my back and undid my bra which released my large breasts from their confines.
I watched as her eyes traveled lower to my breasts, and she seemed to be fixated on them. There was such a hunger in her eyes and she looked at me the way men did, and it was an incredible turn on.
“They’re so beautiful, Mel,” she said, in a voice barely above a whisper.
She then took a step backward and unhooked her own bra.
Her small breasts were, dare I say, perfect. Perfect 32 B's that were topped with tiny brown nipples and her chest was rising and falling with each labored breath she took.
Simultaneously, we lowered our panties and drank in each other's bodies.
I felt as if I was almost paralyzed because I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. It was as if she could sense my apprehension, or at least see it in my eyes. Wordlessly, she took my hand and led me to the bed and we lay next to each other on top of the blankets.
“Alyssa… I… I… I'm not sure how much I can…”
Her voice cut me off.
“Mel, it's okay, we can take it slow. How about if we just touch ourselves?”
Wordlessly, I nodded my head.
I watched as her hands moved over her stomach and then up to her breast as she gently kneaded them and slowly ran her fingers over her hardening nipples. She let out a little moan as the small nubs of flesh passed through her fingertips.
She opened her legs and one of her hands traveled further south while her fingers continued to play with her hard nipples. It felt as if I was mesmerized because I had never seen anything so erotic in my life. Her fingers gently pulled the tuft of black pubic hair above her pussy as she teased herself. Then, her index finger split the brown lips of her vagina as she slowly ran it up and down and I noticed the moisture that had collected on it.
While I watched her, it was almost as if I was in a trance and paralyzed because I felt as if my brain no longer had control of my body.
Her breathing was shallow and labored as she continued to work herself up. She then dipped a finger inside of her vagina and her thumb moved rapidly over her clit.
I realized that I was subconsciously rubbing my breast and pulling my nipples while she touched herself in front of me. Her eyes were closed, though, so I knew she wasn't witnessing my hands on my body.
She was taking short little sips of breath now and then suddenly, her body stiffened and she shook violently and I knew she was orgasming.
After about a minute, her breathing returned to normal and our eyes met and we gently smiled at each other.
“Mel, if you don't want to…”
‘No Alyssa,” I interrupted. “I want to.”
After watching her, I was so turned on and getting some relief wasn't something I wanted, it was something I needed.
I still felt shy and a little inhibited, so I closed my eyes which helped give me a small measure of confidence. Each time I rubbed my nipples I felt lightning bolts shoot through my body. My mind played back the erotic scene of Alyssa touching herself. I imagined her hands on her breasts as my own moved over mine. I thought of her hands pinching and pulling her nipples as I opened my legs and moved my hand lower.
I was shocked when my fingers made contact with my pussy because it felt as if there was a hot, sweltering swamp between my legs. When my fingers brushed over my clit, I knew I wouldn't be able to last long because it felt as if I was already right on the edge. With one hand, I pinched my nipples hard while the other concentrated on rubbing little circles over my clit.
Out of the far reaches of my subconscious mind, I could hear Alyssa moan and I knew she was touching herself again as she watched me bring myself closer.
I rubbed my nipples hard and dipped two fingers into my pussy which sent me over the edge. When I open my eyes, I was gasping for breath and it took a few moments to come back down and regain control of my body. Alyssa was also trying to catch her breath from what was obviously her second orgasm of the evening. Our eyes met and big smiles broke across our faces.
“What are you thinking?” She said hesitantly.
“I think we should have done this a long time ago.”
We lay in each other's arms and talked for about a half hour and just bathed in the afterglow until neither of us could hold our eyes open.
“I don't want to push things too quickly Mel, but would it be alright if I held you while we slept?”
“I'd really love that.”
I flipped over and felt her pull me against her body, wrapped her arms around me, and her breasts sensually pressed into my back as we spooned. She held me all night while we slept and it was one of the most intimate experiences of my life.
It was Monday morning and I was sitting at the kitchen table by myself eating some toast. My Mom was out on her ritualistic pre-dawn walk with her friends from the neighborhood and my Dad had already left for work.
Jim entered the kitchen and went straight to the refrigerator without even bidding me a ‘good morning.’ A few seconds later, he slammed down a large container of leftover spaghetti on the table and a gallon jug of orange juice.
“You know, you could use a plate, and we do have a microwave, so you don’t have to eat that cold.”
He didn’t even look at me while he dug his fork directly into the container of pasta.
“You almost got my ass kicked Saturday night, you know that?” he said, with a mouth full of food.
I hadn’t even seen him since the dance because he was out with is friends all day Sunday.
“That didn’t happen, but if it did, you would have had it coming,” I teased.
He looked me in the eyes.
“It’s not easy sometimes, you being my little sister, you know that?”
Oh Shit, he’s being serious!
“I wouldn’t have let him hurt you, Jim, I knew you were just joking around.”
He took a big swig of orange juice, directly from the jug.
“You being a sophomore, going to the dance dressed like that, being my best friend’s girlfriend, and having se-…”
He was getting choked up and couldn’t finish his sentence. It made me feel bad, seeing that wounded look in his eyes.
“I’m not a little girl anymore, Jim,” I said softly.
He looked tenderly into my eyes.
“I know you’re not, Mel,” he paused. “But that doesn’t make it any easier on me.”
My phone vibrated in the back pocket of my jean skirt. I knew it was Michael texting me to let me know he was out front in his car and waiting to take me to school.
I stood up and walked over to him.
“I hate to admit this, but when you’re not being an asshole, you’re actually a fairly decent big brother.”
I gave him a little peck on the cheek.
I caught a glimpse of a smile right before I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room on my way to the front door.
“No blow jobs on the way to school,” he yelled.
“Go Fuck Yourself!!” I yelled back, before closing the front door.
I was very hesitant about seeing Alyssa on Monday. Would it be weird being around her? Would either of us regret what we had done on Saturday night together? Would it ruin our friendship?
Thankfully, none of my apprehensions were realized. If anything, it made us closer and I was so relieved. We were very tight-lipped at school and continued to not talk about anything we had done on Saturday night, so everything appeared normal to our friends and boyfriends.
However, it felt different being around her, but in a good way. A very good way. We had become somehow closer. We shared a big, juicy secret that no one knew about, and it felt incredible.
Saturday night and we were at my house, again. My parents had long gone to bed and Jim was out again with his friends, running amok, and I was in bed, naked with Alyssa.
“I want to take things a little further,” I said, in a voice barely above a whisper, even though it was impossible for anyone to hear us.
“I want to touch you, Mel,” she paused. “It’s all I’ve thought about all week.”
God, she’s turning me on.
Like last Saturday, Alyssa took the lead. We slid closer together and she extended her hand and ran it gently over my face. I closed my eyes and felt her loving touch.
When I opened them, she had already leaned in and our lips softly connected. Our first kiss was very gentle and very loving. It felt so different. Guy’s lips were always so rough, so callous, or maybe it just felt like that compared to Alyssa’s. Hers were soft, delicate, and smooth.
A few moments later, her tongue entered my mouth and began to deliciously dance with mine. She moved closer and her body crushed me. Feeling that closeness, that proximity, that was a whole other experience unto itself.
Guys bodies are so hairy and sometimes so rough and course. Her body was nothing like that at all. She had such beautiful tan, porcelain skin. It was hairless, soft, smooth, fragile, exquisite. It was just simply exquisite and that’s the only way to describe it.
While we kissed, her hands moved to my breasts and I could feel my nipples immediately harden while she played with them.
She rubbed them, caressed them, kneaded them in her hands. It was as if electrical currents were shooting through my body.
“God, I love your big breasts, Mel,” she said, between hot, wet kisses.
While we continued kissing, I felt her hands roam lower, over my stomach and I shivered and my muscles involuntarily reflexed with her soft, gentle touch.
Her mouth never left mine as her hands moved lower and I felt her fingers play in my light brownish-blonde pubic hair.
“I can feel the heat of your pussy,” she whispered, as we continued to kiss.
She broke our kiss and her mouth went to my neck... and I gasped as her fingers gently touched the outer lips of my vagina.
Her fingers easily split the lips of my pussy and I felt one of her long, slim digits enter me.
I gasped and involuntarily moved my hips on her finger.
“God Mel, you're so wet,” she said, between my gasps.
Her touch seemed subtle, deft, skillful when compared to some of the guys I’d been with. She knew where all of my sensitive, pressure points were because she had them too.
“Another finger… fuck, another finger…” I said between gasps of air.
She inserted a second digit into me and her thumb grazed my clit and I instantly exploded in orgasm.
She quickly withdrew her hand and let me come back down and regain my senses.
She slid close to me again and our bodies rubbed together. Our lips met and we exchanged a hot, wet kiss. Once we broke our tender embrace, our eyes met and we smiled.
“Are you still okay with your decision to do this with me?” She said teasingly.
“Oh My God, Alyssa. I’m more than okay with it.”
We both giggled and then kissed again passionately.
“It’s your turn now,” I said softly.
She lay back on the pillow and I slid up beside her and watched as she closed her eyes. I kissed her softly on the lips and then my mouth moved down to her neck. I licked, sucked, and gently nibbled the tender flesh of her collar area as she moaned softly.
I moved my hands to her breasts. They were so little and sexy and went so well with her small, petite frame. Her brown nipples stood off her breasts like little pencil erasers and her chest heaved up and down as I touched her.
I knew she loved my big breasts and it gave me an idea. I slid over just a bit more and I was able to put one arm on the other side of her body. I lowered and rubbed my breasts onto hers as they sensually crushed together.
Her mouth momentarily opened at the new sensation and my mouth instantly met hers as we kissed again, passionately.
Just as I was breaking the kiss, she huskily spoke.
“Touch my pussy, Mel.”
While still rubbing our breasts together, I ran my hand lower. She had a long ‘landing strip’ of jet black pubic hair above her vagina and I ran my fingernails through it over and over, teasing her.
She was almost hyperventilating as I softly slid my index finger inside of her. She was so tight and wet, almost like a glove. My lips met hers again as I gently moved my finger in and out of her faster and brushed my thumb over her clit exactly how she had done to me. I felt her body stiffen up and she let out a low moan as her orgasm overtook her.
We spent several hours exploring each other's bodies and getting each other off over and over until we collapsed in sheer exhaustion. At nearly four in the morning, neither of us could hold our eyes open and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Alyssa and I slept in until about noon on Sunday and then she went home shortly after we had woke up. Jim had already left for the day to be with his friends and my parents were puttering around the house which gave me some time to get my homework done.
At about five o’clock, my parents informed me that they were going out to dinner and I had to fend for myself. I had just pulled out my cell phone to order a pizza when I heard the front door open.
“Hey Jim, does a pizza sound good for dinner? Since you love me so much, I’ll even let you buy.”
“Where's the parental units?”
“They’re out… Does pepperoni sound okay?”
He paused for a moment.
“What was going on in your room last night?”
My jaw dropped open… Oh, Shit.
I didn’t have many options here, but the only one I could think of was the classic standby… deny, deny, deny.
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“I got home about one and I heard some faint moaning coming from your room.”
“At first, I thought you had somehow snuck Mike in, but then I realized… He’d just get a hotel room and you’d lie and say you were staying at a friends house.”
I looked down sheepishly.
“Then, I heard two female voices. Alyssa was in your room with you, wasn’t she?”
Denying didn’t seem to be working out very well, so that left only one option… come clean.
I took a deep breath.
We both sat down at the kitchen table and there was a long, uncomfortable silence.
“I figured you weren't happy with Mike’s… you know… But you going all Lez… Well, I didn’t see that one coming.”
I shot him a dirty look.
“I’m not ‘going all lez.’ I still like guys.”
“So why are you doing this then, I’m just trying to understand.”
I paused for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. I wasn’t even sure what Alyssa and I were doing, much less my reasons for doing it. If I couldn’t personally reconcile my feelings, how could I even begin to explain them to my brother?
“It’s just something we both want to explore together. She’s my best friend, I trust her, I feel safe with her, and…”
I felt a tear streak down my cheek. Why was I getting so emotional about this?
He looked sympathetically into my eyes.
“Well, as long as you're not going all diesel dyke on me.”
I shot him another dirty look and then my face broke into a big smile.
“You’re such as ass.”
We shared a few moments of comfortable silence.
“You’re not going to say anything to anyone, right?”
“I think Mom needs to know about this, or maybe Father Patrick so he can start work on saving your soul.”
I broke into a big smile.
“You're an asshole.”
“I’ll make you a deal, give me some details about what’s it like when you and Alyssa are together and I promise, mum’s the word.”
He then stuck out his tongue and flicked it. My brother is just that disgusting.
“Don’t even go there.”
I thought for a moment.
“How about if I tell you about when Michael and I are together. You know, how much I love that big, huge, throbbing cock of his.”
A sour expression broke on Jim’s face and it was as if he had just thrown up a little in his mouth.
“You and Mike together is the last thing I want to hear about. And I know you’re lying anyway, Mike’s hung like an infant.”
We exchanged little smiles.
“If you’re done prying into my personal life, can we order the pizza now?”
“Sausage, double anchovies.”
“God, you're disgusting.”
It was Saturday night and Alyssa and I were naked, in her bed. For the first time since our first night together, I was a little nervous. We had agreed to take things slow, yet there was a steady progression to our sexual intimacy. We had touched ourselves in front of each other and then touched each other. Now, it was time to take that big, last big step… and that was a bit scary.
My boyfriends had been going down on me for years, so I was used to it and I knew what it was like. However, Alyssa had never experienced it and I was going to be her first. It was as if we could read each other’s minds and we knew where the night was going to take us. Finally, Alyssa broke the silence.
“You look really nervous and we don't have to do this yet. I promised you we’d take it slow, so we could just touch each other, again.”
I took a moment to ponder her words.
“It's not nervousness, it's anticipation.”
Her face broke into a wide smile.
I could tell this was something she really wanted. We had revealed to each other earlier that we had both tasted ourselves. Yet, this was a whole other experience. She had taken the lead from the beginning, and now, it was my turn to step up.
“I want to taste you, Alyssa,” I said huskily.
“Really Mel? Are you sure?”
I leaned in and kissed her hard on the mouth.
“I’m positive, honey.”
I press my body into hers as we kissed harder. I could feel her hard nipples press into my breasts. While my mouth explored hers, I moved one hand to her stomach, and the other to the inside of her thigh.
She quickly opened her legs to give me better access and I could immediately feel the heat which emanated from her vagina. I broke our kiss, moved lower, and took her hard brown nipple into my mouth flicked it with my tongue.
I heard her gasp as I ran my fingernails over the tender flesh on the inside of her thighs. She ran her fingers through my hair and I could almost feel the desperation in her touch.
She was breathing so heavy, it almost sounded like hyperventilation.
“God Mel, I want to feel your mouth on me.”
I open my mouth and her nipple popped out. I moved upward and gave her one last hot kiss on the mouth before traveling down her body and nestling myself between her open legs.
I could really smell her sex now because of the close proximity, and I could see the droplets of moisture on the brown lips of her vagina. She had such a beautiful pussy, like an open, wet flower just after a rain.
I wasn't sure where to begin, so I decided to draw on my past experiences of when guys went down on me. She let out a low, guttural moan when I gently bit the inside of her thigh and her hips started to slightly buck at my delicate teasing.
She was beginning to jerk her hips more noticeably and I wrapped my arms around her thighs to hold her still. Then, I extended my tongue and sunk it into her vagina.
I looked up between her legs to I could witness her reaction. I watched her eyes rolled back into her head.
“Oh Fuck, Mel,” she moaned.
She tasted distinctly different than me. A little bit wilder maybe, or a slight bit gamier, but God, so incredibly good.
I pressed my tongue in and out of her more rapidly in a sharp, stabbing motion and her pelvis bucked harder and it took all of my strength to hold her still so I could keep my tongue inside of her. Her juices were now running out of my mouth and down onto my chin.
I felt her tense up and she began to shake violently. I immediately withdrew my tongue because I know how sensitive I get after I orgasm. Looking up from between her legs, I waited until she came back down and her senses were back about her.
Our eyes met and her face broke into a huge smile.
“Oh-My-God, Mel. Please do that again.”
I smiled, thought for a moment, and remembered one of the little tricks that my ex Anthony used on me which always seemed to work well.
Alyssa moaned as I delicately inserted my middle finger inside her and then curled it slightly upwards. Her eyes instantly closed and her head thrashed back against the pillow. Her hips began to move again and she pushed herself forward on my finger.
I think she’s gonna like this…
“Oh Fuck!!!” she said, between gasps and moans and I locked my mouth onto her clit.
Her hips began bucking wildly and, again, it was difficult to keep my finger inside her and my mouth on her. I used my remaining free arm to hold her down as best I could while I flicked the tip of my tongue over her little bud. Her body tensed up, her breathing stopped, and she began to shake, almost uncontrollably.
I withdrew myself from her and gave her a chance to come down. Her face was flushed and her long, black hair was tussled about her face. Still, she looked so beautiful.
Once she had come back down, our eyes met.
“Well?” I asked quizzically.
“Jesus, Mel, now I know what I’ve been missing.”
My face broke into a huge smile.
“It was okay then?”
“Okay?” She said incredulously. “Andy is either going to learn how to do that, or I’m finding a new boyfriend.”
We both burst out laughing.
I slid up her body and we kissed passionately. I was so incredibly aroused due in part from the realization that she could taste herself on my mouth, and from performing cunnilingus for the first time.
After we broke our erotic embrace, she spoke.
“Well, Mel, what do you think we should do next?” She said jokingly.
I didn't want foreplay and I didn't want teasing. I just wanted some relief, and I wanted to make sure she knew that.
“Put your mouth on my pussy, Alyssa,” I said, in a plea of desperation.
She smiled, kissed me hard, and then moved down my body. I opened my legs wide and she crawled between them. Thankfully, she took my plea to heart and dispensed with any type of foreplay.
Alyssa wrapped her arms around my thighs and then very hesitantly licked up and down the lips of my vagina which caused me to instantly let out a low moan.
“God, you're so wet, Mel,” she said, from between my legs.
I was grateful that the sodden state of my pussy didn’t deter her. If anything, it only seemed to spur her on even more.
I could feel the tip of her tongue gently lick up and down the lips of my vagina and I moved one of my hands down and tenderly ran it through her hair.
Her mouth then split my lips and I could feel her tongue go inside me. It was as if shock waves were passing through my body and my free hand traveled to my breasts as I pinched and then caressed my nipples.
I felt her withdraw her mouth and she used her fingers to hold my sex open while the tip of her tongue lapped and caressed my clit.
My orgasm hit almost without warning and my body began to shake as my world went dark.
When I had regained my senses, Alyssa was gently kissing the inside of my thighs. I looked between my legs and our eyes met and we smiled.
“I love the way you taste, Mel,” she said softly.
“Don’t let me stop you from doing that again then,” I teased.
She wrapped one arm around my thigh and her other arm traveled up to my breast. I gasped as her tongue again made contact with the lips of my vagina. I closed my eyes and concentrated on her mouth between my legs.
Her motions were so soft and delicate and I realized how different it felt getting oral sex from a woman.
I moaned softly as the tip of her tongue split my lips and sunk inside of me. My hips were moving forward as I pushed my pelvis into her mouth.
Her hand sensually kneaded my breasts while her tongue moved upward and found my clit which instantly sent lightning bolts through my body.
“Just a little bit more honey,” I panted, between labored breaths.
The tip of her tongue made delicious little circles on my clit and I felt my body stiffen up and begin to shake and my world when dark as I climaxed.
When I had come down from the peak, I looked between my legs and Alyssa was gently kissing and licking the juices from the inside of my thighs. Our eyes met.
“Holy Shit!! Are you sure you haven’t done that before?”
Her face broke into a big smile.
“Do you think that means I’m a natural at this?”
“I’m not exactly sure what it means, all I know is that I love it.”
She moved back up my body and we passionately embraced each other and shared a hot, wet kiss.
We spent the next several hours between each other legs until we couldn’t move from sheer exhaustion. Sometime, in the wee hours of the morning, we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
We woke up around noon on Sunday morning and quickly made love again before showering together. My parents were spending the weekend in San Francisco visiting my aunt and I wanted to make Alyssa breakfast before she had to go home.
We made our way down the stairs and went into the kitchen and saw Jim. He was fully clothed and his head was on the table and he was shielding his eyes from the light with a half drunk cup of coffee next to him.
I was pretty sure that he had just come through the door and his hair was disheveled and I could smell the alcohol from about ten feet away. From the look of him, it was pretty obvious he was nursing a really bad hangover.
Alyssa and I grinned at each other.
“Rough night in hump junction?” I said.
He looked up at me and squinted through one barely open eye.
“Can I get you some orange juice and some aspirin?” Alyssa said soothingly.
He ignored her.
“I got back together with Tina last night and we did some celebrating,” he said, in a voice barely above a whisper.
I tried to wipe the shocked look off my face. Tina hated him, how the hell were they back together? No matter how he acted, women just couldn’t say no to him.
“She’s a really sweet girl, and you had better treat her right this time,” I said.
He gave me a look of disdain.
“That’s exactly what I need, dating advice from my lesbian, little sister.”
I smiled while Alyssa’s face turned a deep red ember in embarrassment.
“You smell like shit Jim, why don’t you go take a shower.”
He smiled, got up from the table, and began making his way towards his room.
“When I get out of the shower, you can both tell me what it's like to ‘Dine at the Y’.”
“You had better watch what you say about us, or it won’t be Tina who starts the next ‘clap rumor’ about you.”
He laughed as he made his way upstairs.
Even though Alyssa and I were never officially ‘together,’ we remained lovers throughout high school. Boyfriends came and went for both of us, but we always had each other to get through those very difficult years. We had planned on going to college together, but it wasn’t to be. We had a couple of adventures during our breaks, but in her Sophomore year, she met what would turn out to be her future husband and that ended what we had completely. She’s a ‘Christmas Card’ friend now and has two beautiful sons and a very happy marriage. In the past, she’s teased me that I was her partner in crime during her ‘lesbian experimentation stage.’
The dynamics of my relationship with my brother Jim is something I’ve often pondered. I love all of my brothers, yet there’s a closeness and special bond that I share with him even to this day. After womanizing for nearly two decades, he finally found a woman who put an end to his philandering ways. They are getting married this spring and he’s very devoted and monogamous to her.