A check around the apartment soon showed that most of her stuff was gone. In desperation, I searched for a note from her but there was none. I don’t know how many hours it was that I lay on the sofa, for ages I cried until there were no tears left, then dry sobs shook my body.
It was now almost two years that Dawn and I had been singing together. Our reputation had grown and we were now a very popular act on the Algarve in Portugal, we had more offers of bookings than we could possibly fit in. It meant that we could now choose the venues that we preferred.
We had even featured on local TV on two occasions. The money was now beyond our wildest dreams, to us, we were rich. We had a new car each, the apartment had benefited as well, loads of lovely furniture, the latest television and we even had Sky.
I opened the front door, “Hi, Dawn, I’m back,” I yelled up the stairs, the music was loud. Merle Haggard blasting out one of his sad bar drinking songs. It was our one night off and I had been out shopping for fresh steaks and some veggies and I was starving.
Dawn was sat at the living room table, a letter held in her hands, she was crying. “Whatever’s the matter, baby?” I asked, rushing to her side.
She cried even harder, then held the letter out to me. I took it from her and I first looked at the heading, it was from a recording company Panafonica.
The thought that came instantly to mind was, “Wow, someone wants to record us.” but just as quickly I realised that Dawn wouldn’t be crying if that were the case. So, I read lower.
The gist of the letter was that they were offering Dawn a one-off recording deal, with an option for further recordings dependent on how the recording went and on sales. There was no mention of me.
I swallowed my reaction of hurt, instead, I said, “But Dawn, this is fantastic, why are you crying?”
She looked up at me, “I can’t record without you Dina, it wouldn’t be right, there wouldn’t have even have been a me without you, I’m crying because it’s not an offer for us together.”
I put my arms around her and pulled her tightly to me, “Don’t be silly, my love, you know as well as I do, that you’ve always been a better singer than me and besides, it’s only a recording, it doesn’t split our live act up. You’ve got to do it.”
After dinner, we sat with a bottle of Rubera Del Duero wine, we discussed all of the pros and cons that we could think of. There were one or two foreseeable problems that came to my mind but I kept these to myself, I had to persuade her that she should do it, I wasn’t trying to talk her out of it.
The wine was all gone, I didn’t fancy another bottle, it was a bit heavy for drinking on its own, so we hit the brandy instead.
By the time we were both quite pissed, we still hadn’t arrived at any conclusion, so I suggested that we should sleep on it and see how we felt tomorrow.
Dawn staggered rather badly when she stood, then she tripped over my foot and landed in a heap in my arms.
“Oops, I think I’m a bit pissed,” she grinned up at me, then reached her lips up towards mine, “Shit, I love you, kiss me, Dina.”
Our lips came together, I wanted to kiss her worries away, it broke my heart when she wasn’t happy. We kissed all the time, we almost never stopped, but this time her passion took me by surprise, she was usually so gentle, now her lips were fierce and demanding.
When she had fallen, her skirt had ended up around her waist. In my drunken state it looked so erotic, her thighs were spread open as she sat on my lap, a glimpse of her panties just visible.
I trailed my fingers up her leg gently, I think, tickling as I went higher. She squirmed under my touch, her mouth never left mine but she breathed out a “Yes, touch me, I want to feel you touching me.” Her hand grabbed hold of mine and she forced it between her legs grinding it against her panty front. She didn’t let go but rubbed my fingers furiously up and down her slit hidden beneath the material, she was using my hand as if it were a dildo, stimulating herself.
Somehow, the crotch of her panties got pushed aside and still, she worked my hand hard on top of her clit. Her legs spread wider and her pussy open for her to jam my fingers inside, she wasn’t careful, she seemed to have lost all control, she was trying to force my whole hand between the lips.
Her head dropped to my shoulder, then I felt her teeth, she bit me hard. Any other time I might have yelled at the pain, but just like her, I was too pissed to care. I tried to control her use of my hand but with her vice-like grip, she fucked herself.
I knew her well, so even in my inebriated state, I knew when her orgasm was nearing. Her free arm clung around my neck, hugging me so tightly, as still, she was biting the other side. Her body was going stiff but she never relaxed the pounding she was giving her pussy. Her climax was staggering in its intensity, between clenched teeth I could hear her, “Fuck me, oh keep fucking me, Dina, oh God, don’t stop.”
She collapsed against me, her grip on my hand fell away and her arm dropped to the floor, she was gasping for breath. I rocked her tenderly, “I’ve got you, my love, I’m here.”
My lips hurt, my neck hurt and my fingers hurt, what the hell was that? Never had I seen her like it, my baby had gone mad.
Her voice broke my thoughts, “I’m sorry, Dina, I don’t know what came over me, I just needed you to be a part of me, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I love you so much and I’m frightened, I don’t want anything that might split us up.”
“Nothing’s gonna split us, love. Just let me hold you.” I felt a tear running down my cheek, shit! Don’t you start, I thought.
She seemed to sleep, I sort of nodded off with her. I had bad dreams, I saw her, a star on television and with records high in the charts, I didn’t think I would see my baby again.
The cramp in my legs woke me, I opened my eyes to find her staring up into my face, “You were dreaming,” she said, “I heard you saying about me being a star, what was that all that about?”
Vaguely, I remembered but I wasn’t about to tell her, “I don’t remember, probably nothing important, don’t you think it’s time we went to bed?”
For a moment she studied me, then shakily, she rose from my lap, my legs hurt as the feeling returned to them. Arm in arm, we hobbled to the bedroom where I laid her down, then I went to the bathroom for a wash, I saw the blood where she had bitten my neck. As I rinsed it away, I pondered on her behaviour, it really wasn’t like her at all.
The next morning, over breakfast, we continued our discussion but this time in a more sober manner. I pointed out that there was no harm in her going for the session, see how it went and kind of, take it from there. I said that I would come with her for moral support she could tell them that I was her manager.
Later, she rang the company and spoke to the guy who had signed the letter. I saw her smile as she spoke to him, she seemed to relax, some of the tension draining away.
She told me that he seemed a really nice guy, he was perfectly happy that if all went well and they wanted to release a record, then she would have the final say, yes or no. She had written a date down and passed it to me, it was the following week, I told her it was good.
After the call ended, she came and sat on my knee. She kissed me, it was her old gentle self again. “About last night, Dina, I don’t remember very well but I do know something makes me feel uncomfortable, what did I do? Was it wrong of me?”
“No, my love, it wasn’t wrong, it was a side of you that I’ve never seen before, you were wild, like an animal but it was exciting, so don’t let it worry you.”
She snuggled into my neck, then she must have seen the bite marks, “Oh my God Dina, did I do that? I must have done, no one else could have,” she put her lips to the wounds, “I’m so sorry, what was I thinking?”
I smiled down at her, “It’s okay, you got a bit carried away but I’m good so let’s not make a big deal out of it. Hey, how about we pop off to the estuary, let’s have a swim and I fancy a bit of fishing, they tell me that the bass are coming close in this week. Do my headache some good as well.”
We always make the illegal drive through the reserve to the estuary, no one seems to mind too much and the big advantage is that the beach is always empty up there. It’s also the best place for fishing as the currents around the estuary entrance, attract a lot of fish, especially the bigger bass.
I set up my fishing gear, the line baited with ragworm and left the rod on its telescopic tripod. Dawn spread our blanket and broke out a couple of beers. What could be better?
Well, one thing could and that was Dawn covering me with suntan lotion. She covered all the usual places before she pulled my bikini bottoms off. She’d had her fun last night, now it was my turn. She told me to stay on my stomach as she played with my ass cheeks, loads of lotion massaged into my crevice and spread over my pussy lips. She pushed my legs wide apart as she knelt between them before her fingers were delving inside my now drooling hole.
I went to turn over but she slapped my ass, “Stay where you are and relax, lover.” That was easier said than done, I mean, how can you relax with three fingers wanking your pussy?
Her other hand was dragging a cheek to one side, then her lips kissed my rear hole. Her tongue came out to lick and tickle. I reached a hand under my body until my fingers got hold of my clit, if you’ve read of some of my earlier escapades then you’ll already know that I have a rather large clit, so yes, my fingers can get hold of it. I pulled it and rubbed hard as she wanked me.
The warning bell on the fishing rod was tinkling but I was past caring, the bell rang louder, so did my pussy as I peaked, the climax lifting me to a wonderful orgasm.
“Do you wanna go and get that sweetheart?” I suggested, “I don’t think I can for a minute or two.”
I felt her leave, then I heard the bell stop ringing when she removed it from the rod. The next second she was yelling, “What do I do Dina? It’s bloody huge, I can’t hold it, I think the rod’s going to break.”
I forced myself up, then went and took the rod, sure enough, it was bent in a huge arc. I released the brake, something I had forgotten to set properly after I had cast out. I was probably just in time, the line would have snapped if I hadn’t given the fish a little slack.
Ten minutes later and I had landed my record bass, at least eight pounds, I’d never had one much over two pounds before. “Get your camera, babe, they won’t believe me if we don’t have a pic.”
The recording studio was fabulous, we’d not been in one before but as Dawn had said, the guy, Peter, was indeed, a great guy. He showed us around and soon had Dawn looking quite relaxed. She was doing this first session using backing tracks, no live musicians for her to worry about.
Her first number was a song by Alison Krauss, ‘When you say nothing at all’. It was good but I have to say that it’s not one of my favourites. They had her do a couple of more slow songs, then I suggested she should do something more uptempo.
I knew she loved the Juice Newton version of ‘Queen of hearts’, the same song that Dave Edmunds had a hit with. Wow! She really rocked it, Peter was looking ecstatic.
“Okay, I get it.” he said, “let’s do a couple more fast ones,” he thought for a moment, then, “Do you know ‘He's a heartache’ by Janie Fricke?”
“My God, it’s one of my favourites, go for it.” I could see Dawn was getting excited and clearly was now enjoying herself.
Half an hour later and the session came to an end. Peter was more than happy with six tracks laid down. “Let me play with these for a few days, then I’ll be in touch if that’s okay with you guys?”
Two months later, I’m sat in the club where we should have been appearing that night. They’d managed to get a replacement act for the evening. At ten minutes to eight, the singers would take a break while the big screen tele was flashed up. Dawn would be appearing, supposedly live, but I knew she would be miming to her song. This was her big chance, on national television, performing her hit song ‘Queen of hearts’ and also “When you say nothing at all’.
Helen was sat beside me, she’s taken a few days off and flown out especially to see Dawn’s big night. It was the first time I’d seen her for almost a year.
I was so nervous, my hands were shaking, I could barely drink my wine without spilling it. Then she was being introduced. For a second I thought that she had chickened out and wasn’t going to come on but then there she was, so beautiful, my baby walked on stage. Well actually, she kind of skipped on, I could feel myself getting ready to cry.
I can’t begin to explain my feelings, what it was like watching my Dawn sing on television. All I knew was that she was faultless, it was a stunning performance, the audience loved her, even though they’d never heard of her until maybe a few weeks before if they listened to the radio. I was both elated for her but also, I was worried for us. A feeling of foreboding, of problems ahead.
Helen took my hand, she saw my turmoil, “Don’t worry, she’ll be back tomorrow, Dina.”
I looked at her, as still, I cried, “Will she be really back though, Helen, I am pleased for her but I’ve got to be realistic as well, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve lost her, she could be in a different world now.”
Dawn flung herself into my arms when I picked her up from Faro airport. Yeah, they flew her to Lisbon and back for the show. She radiated happiness, her excitement was so obvious. Then she saw Helen, more hugs and kisses, “Oh my goodness, Helen, did you fly over just to see me?” She took both of our hands, “The two most important people in the world to me and I’ve got so much to tell you.”
She never stopped talking during the whole hours drive back. How she’d been treated like a star. How nervous she’d been until she actually walked on stage. How wonderful Peter was and how pleased he was with her performance. So on and so on.
That evening, I took us all out for a celebration meal, we went to a lovely little restaurant that we loved but seldom used, it was expensive.
The maitre had seen us coming, as we walked in, the entire clientele stood and clapped, then whistled and cheered. Dawn beamed and waved at them all. My God, she’s loving it I thought but why not? She deserved it. She must have signed thirty or more autographs by the time she joined us at our table.
She blushed furiously as she sat and looked at me. Then she looked sad, “I’m so sorry, Dina, it shouldn’t be just me, it should be the two of us together.”
I put a finger to her lips “Hush, baby, don’t worry about it, it’s what you deserve and I’m happy for you.” Then I leaned and kissed her cheek.
As we walked home, she turned to Helen, “You are staying with us aren’t you, Helen, I forgot to ask earlier?” Then, “It’s a stupid question really because of course you are.”
After we were back home, I could see Helen was looking nervous and uncertain. “Helen, my love, nothing’s changed since you were last here, our bed is your bed, isn’t that right Dawn?”
Dawn walked straight over to Helen and wrapped her arms around her, she kissed her hard on the lips, “Helen, we love you, you should know that we agreed two years ago that you and I have equal shares in Dina, as long as she wants us both. So, who’s going to strip her? You, me, or shall we attack her together?”
I ran for the bedroom, they weren’t too far behind me, where I took the stairs one at a time, Helen, I swear, took three at a time, well she was an athlete, I’d barely got to the room when she tackled me from behind. Luckily, we fell onto the bed, then Dawn was piled on top and I was well and truly trapped.
“Hey girls, I wanna go and wash.” I cried out.
“Bollocks to that, we’ll take you as you are.” Helen laughingly replied. “Come on Dawn, let’s get these clothes off of her.”
In no time at all, I was stripped naked, with my two gorgeous girls plying me with kisses, tickles, licks and gropes. I was being molested in the nicest possible way.
I heard Helen, “At last, my most favourite clit in the world, I’d almost forgotten how big it is.”
“Guys, this isn’t fair, you’ve both still got your clothes on, what am I supposed to play with?”
Helen looked at Dawn, an evil smile on her face, “Whaddya reckon, Dawn, I think we wanna see her wank her clit, while we undress and watch, d’ya think?” She reached for my hand with one of hers, the other pulling my clit erect, then she wrapped my fingers around it, “Now let’s see you wank, Dina.”
They both stood and did a sexy strip, having the odd grope at each other as they did, tits, asses and pussies. I watched my two beauties as I played with myself. Very quickly my clit was throbbing at my touch and the sexy sight of my lovers. Shit! I was aroused, I closed my eyes as my head rolled back.
I felt the mattress lean, a hot breath came above my fingers, then a tongue tickled between my fingers, licking the tip of my clit. A hand took a grip if each of my breasts and lips took a nipple into a mouth. I managed a glance down, Dawn was at my tits and Helen was lying between my legs.
Fingers gently kneaded one breast, the fingers tweaking the nipple, teeth nipped at my other nipple, I knew that they were thrusting upright and stiff.
My fingers were pushed away from my clit and I felt the lips take me in, Helen sucked hard, as her lips worked up and down, a smaller version of a blowjob. I felt her pushing my generous lips open before her fingers were sliding into my pussy.
I was fast approaching a climax, Dawn knew the signs only too well, she brought her lips to mine, kissing me hard, her fingers were still pulling at my nipples. Then she called down to Helen, “Now Helen, fuck her harder, she’s gonna cum any second.”
They drove me wild until I went over the edge, my world came to a standstill for a second, my whole body was strung so tight and I could feel my vagina contracting, then I was shaking as the orgasm wracked me. Fuck! I love my girls was all I could think, they know how to make me feel good.
I could hear them laughing and giggling like two little schoolgirls as they left me to recover. Moments later, the sound of slurping was obvious, I opened my eyes for a peak, where the fuck were they? They weren’t on the bed but I could hear them close-by, I looked over the side and there they were, on the bedside rug with their heads buried in each other’s pussy, Dawn was on top, she was becoming quite the dom lately. I saw Helen’s fingers probing at Dawn’s ass, fascinated, I saw it disappearing inside and then quickly followed by another.
I pulled on my clit, it was so sexy watching these two making love to each other that I sensed that maybe I might even cum again, I managed the reach with my other hand and got two fingers inside my pussy, it was feeling a bit sore but did I care? I wanked myself as fast as I could, as I lusted watching them play.
Helen was the first to climax, she had always been the quickest, I heard her moaning as she bucked her hips against Dawn’s mouth. I thought that Dawn might get thrown off, so furiously did Helen buck.
Then Dawn was wailing, “Helen, I’m cumming, suck my clit, lover.” With that, I forgot about them, I was getting close to another orgasm myself.
I lay back as I wanked, Fuck! It felt good. Then I was cumming, not as hard as a bit before but still satisfyingly intense. I was totally wiped as my hands fell to my sides.
Those two girls were giggling again when I looked, there were two grinning faces, propped on their elbows on the side of the bed, “Fucking awesome, Dina.” Helen said.
It was a tearful goodbye when we dropped Helen back at the airport, “Please don’t stay away so long again, we miss you too much.” I told her.
At first, our local appearances had grown on popularity, we were packing them in, then we began to lose bookings. Dawn would get called away for either a radio or television spot and to make more recordings, it always seemed to be at very short notice and we had to cancel gigs. Owners were getting pissed off with us!
Her debut single had made the number two spot in the national chart, the second made number one, she was now a star. The bigger venues on the Algarve wanted her, not a duo. At first, she refused but her recording company weren’t happy with that, they insisted that she had to do them.
I had little choice but to agree with them, I told her that she owed her fans and besides, it was for far more money than we had ever got. The first show was at a casino nightclub in Praia Da Rocha, I had played the tables there a few times, nothing serious, just for a bit of fun.
I had the best seat in the place and free drinks, officially, I was still her manager, so I got the treatment. Dawn was just completely outstanding as she effortlessly switched between slow and fast numbers. I realised that she really didn’t need me anymore, I would simply be a hindrance to her career.
As much as I was loving watching and listening to her, it was about halfway through when I simply couldn’t keep myself together any longer. It was dark enough for me to leave unseen, so I made my way to the adjacent bar room. I knew the waitress well, she’d often been at our shows, she saw that I was crying when she fetched my drink. She sat down next to me, her arm around my shoulders, “I know what’s wrong, Dina, you think you’ve lost her, don’t you?”
“Stace, I don’t know what to do, I know I mustn’t try and stand in her way, she’s too good for that but I also know that it won’t be long before she’ll be asked to tour, probably go to England, maybe even the States, who knows? But she won’t be here, our little show together is finished. Would you fetch me another Bacardi please Stace?”
When she came back with my drink. I asked her if she could let me know when Dawn was getting near the end of her show. I had to be there for the end, I had to let her see me giving her my support.
We took a picnic to the beach the following morning. After a while, I eventually plucked up the courage to tell her what was on my mind.
She looked apprehensive when I took hold of her hand, she saw the struggle I was having. “Dawn, my love, we need to talk, to decide what we’re going to do. The first thing I must do, is cancel the bookings we’ve still got, we can’t give them the guarantee they’re asking me for that we will honour them. I think it’s time to dust the disco off and for me to get back to work.”
Tears had come to her eyes as she went to interrupt but I pressed on. “No Dawn, you have a real career now, not just singing to a bunch of holidaymakers and you’ve got to grab hold of it. If you don’t take this opportunity while you can, one day you’ll blame me for holding you back. I couldn’t take that and I won’t do that to you.”
She fell into my arms, sobbing her heart out, I didn’t know what to do or say, I just kissed her hair and held her tightly.
She calmed a little, “But you’re my manager, you can take charge of everything, come with me when I have to be somewhere else. We can be together, you don’t need to work here Dina.”
“Dawn, I’m not really your manager, I don’t know anything about the recording business, nothing about negotiating bookings or whatever, not at your level anyway, besides, I doubt that Peter would be happy with it. You’ve always got a home with me while you want it but I think it’s time we recognised that our lives are going to take different paths.”
She sat back, staring at me, “You don’t want me anymore do you, Dina, you can’t be jealous surely? What have I done to upset you so much that you don’t love me anymore?”
For a moment, I was stunned, had I not explained properly, how could she think that. “You don’t know how wrong you are Dawn, it hurts me deeply that you should even think that, I do love you, with all my heart and I’m so happy for you, and for the gift you have and now the opportunity to take advantage of it but I will not stand in your way. Please believe me, I do love you and like I said, my home will always be your home. Now, I’m sorry love but we need to go, we do still have a gig tonight.”
Sadness gripped my heart as she turned and walked off to the car, leaving me to gather our stuff. It was an awkward and silent drive home.
The night’s gig was the first time that the spark between us was missing, the show was okay but the magic was missing, she smiled at the punters but not once at me, how I kept a brave face and a tremor out of my voice, I’ll never know.
It turned out to be our last show together.
“You coming to bed yet, Dawn?” I called from the bedroom.
“Not just yet,” she answered.
I didn’t check the time but it was well into the night when I woke, I reached to touch her but only found an empty space. I padded downstairs, she was on the sofa all wrapped in a blanket and fast asleep. For an age I stood watching her, questioning, should I wake her, ask her again to come to bed or should I let her sleep? In the end, I fetched a bottle of brandy and spent the rest of the night sitting on the balcony, slowly getting pissed.
I must have fallen asleep at some stage, with a thick head, I wandered into the kitchen and put the coffee maker on. I saw the blanket was gone from the living room, she wasn’t in the bedroom or bathroom. I panicked, shouting for her but was only met with silence. Then downstairs to the parking area, her car was gone.
A check around the apartment soon showed that most of her stuff was gone. In desperation, I searched for a note from her but there was none. I don’t know how many hours it was that I lay on the sofa, for ages I cried until there were no tears left, then dry sobs shook my body.
Sometime that afternoon, the doorbell woke me, “Fuck off!” I shouted, but the bell kept on ringing. It was my friend Romero. “Sorry pal, what can I do for you.”
“Dina, my love, you look like hell, can I come in?” I waved him through. “I just came to tell you that I saw Dawn at the airport this morning, she was very upset but she wouldn’t answer me when I asked her what was wrong. Now I see the state you’re in, have you guys had a bust-up or something?”
He was my buddy, so while all the time I cried, I told him all that had happened and that now she was gone. He’s a real softie is Romero, he cried as much as me. He suggested that I rang Peter, he might know where she was.
Peter made all the right noises but maintained that he knew nothing, why didn’t I believe him? Maybe he was too evasive, too ready with his denials, it just didn’t ring true.
I didn’t bother dusting the disco off, what was the point? I couldn’t face cheerful holidaymakers, I couldn’t put on a brave face. Instead, I cancelled the bookings I did have and buried myself in self-pity. I got pissed nearly every day, sometimes in a bar, sometimes at home and even, sometimes at the beach while I pretended to fish, at least I was alone there.
I had plenty of money in the bank, so not working wasn’t a problem, the problem was that I knew I had become a total mess and didn’t know how to change it.
Occasionally, I would catch Dawn on the tele and quite often on the radio. On tele, she sounded good, she looked good but I felt there was something missing, it’s hard to explain, but I knew her so well that I could see in her face that something wasn’t right.
Nearly a year had passed, nothing had changed. Then one day Helen was at the door when I answered the ring of the bell. I fell into her arms and sobbed uncontrollably, I seemed to do a lot of that these days. She led me through to the living room and sat next to me on the sofa.
“Why on earth didn’t you let me know what had happened, Dina? I don’t know how he did it, but Romero tracked me down and told me the situation and the state you’ve got yourself into, he was very worried for you.”
We talked for ages, she cooked us a meal, “You don’t look as if you’ve eaten properly for ages,” she told me. She stopped me from just guzzling my wine by the glass full. After we had sat again for a while, she made me shower before tucking me in bed, she didn’t get in with me but sat beside me and held my hand until I went to sleep.
The next morning when I came down, the apartment was sparkling, back to its usual clean self. The washing was all done and hanging out to dry. “Morning love,” she said, “ready for some breakfast?” Her hand stopped me as I reached for the wine bottle, “Coffee would be better, don’t you think?”
Over breakfast, Helen said, “I think you should come back to England with me for a while, you need a break from here, it’ll do you good.”
It felt like a good idea, I admitted to myself that I wasn’t doing any good here, I’d upset most of my friends. I hadn’t had one single date since Dawn had left and I was becoming an alcoholic. So why not?
Two weeks at Helen’s place had done me good. She’d taken her annual holiday early so as we could be together she’d said, I knew it was so she could keep an eye on me.
The first night at her home, she had come to bed with me. At first, she just cuddled me close to her and I felt a little better. It was when she leaned and kissed me that it went pear-shaped, I froze at first, I couldn’t respond. When she pulled her head back to look into my face she wasn’t upset nor was she hurt at my reaction, she saw my tears and bent to kiss my eyes, she whispered to me, soothing and gentle, “It’s okay, love, I understand, go to sleep.”
One evening, Helen said, “I’ve got tickets for the London Country Music Festival for next week, are you okay with that?”
My immediate reaction was one of panic but then I thought it was time I got back in the real world, I had to try, “Yes, I’m good, sounds great in-fact.”
And it was good, it was over several days, we had tickets for the Saturday. We’d wandered around, took in several different acts, some I knew, others I didn’t but they were all good. There were loads of goodies there to buy but I didn’t need anything so I didn’t really look, I was enjoying the atmosphere though.
A couple of times I had the feeling that Helen was leading me, maybe a change of direction, it wasn’t anything obvious, so I put it down to my imagination.
The evening show Helen had chosen wasn’t in the main hall, there were a number of different stages. Too crowded in there she’d said, I didn’t mind either way, so just followed along.
We had watched a couple of acts when the compere announced Dawn! Now I did panic, my heart froze, I couldn’t breathe and I felt faint. Then I turned to run.
Helen grabbed me tightly, “Dina, you’ve got to get over it, please, for me, just try.” She kept hold of me, wiping my tears away.
I forced myself to look towards the stage and saw her come on, only fifty or so feet away, she was so totally gorgeous. She now really looked the country gal, cowgirl boots, a flared skirt, a tasselled shirt, topped off with a white stetson hat. Then I saw that she looked radiant, her sparkle was back, the thought just made me sad.
I barely heard her as she sang her latest hit, nor even the next, I couldn’t tell you what it was, I was completely focussed on watching her.
The applause broke me from my trance and I found myself clapping along with everyone else. Did I just see her look directly at me for a moment? Then she was talking.
“Thank you, friends, thank you. Before my next number, I would like to introduce a dear friend of mine, a person who has been special in my life, without her help and guidance, I wouldn’t be standing here today.” She looked towards me her hand held out. Helen was pushing me forward, I tried to turn away and run but she held on and kept pushing.
Dawn came down the steps and grabbed my hand, I was in a daze as she pulled me up onto the stage and led me to the middle where she lifted my arm high, “This is my old singing partner, Dina Carter, actually, I lied when I said a dear friend, she’s more than that you see, she is the love of my life.” She was looking at me, with pleading eyes.
For a moment I stood staring at her, I couldn’t move and I certainly couldn’t speak. I saw her turn to the musicians to give them a nod, she handed a microphone to me as they went into the opening of ‘Guitars and Cadillacs’. This used to be the closing highlight of our Portuguese shows. For those of you not into country music, the song starts with a long slow intro, Dawn sang this as she faced me, then the song speeds up, she signed for me to join in.
It was a hesitant start on my behalf but she covered for me, she took my hand and squeezed, everything came rushing back and I was okay. We rocked through the song until the point it changed into ‘Don’t rock the jukebox’, her arm went around my shoulder as we leaned into the song, I saw the crowd were clapping along to us, I sang as I’ve never sung before as my heart lifted, the pain inside seemed to be flooding away.
They went mad as the set came to an end, Dawn reached and hugged me. They were still cheering as we left the stage. The compere came rushing over, a beaming smile on his face, “One more, I need another, on you go.”
Of course, it was already arranged because the band went straight into Patsy Cline’s ‘Always’, a song with a very special memory for me, we had been singing it the very first time Dawn had ever kissed me. Tears came to my eyes, my voice had a tremor as I sang, then she kissed me on the cheek exactly as she had those years ago.
A smiling Helen was waiting in the wing, “You arranged this, didn’t you? You knew.” I said to her.
Dawn spoke first though, “It was after Romero got hold of Helen that she phoned me, then I rang Romero, afterwards I asked her to try and fetch you back from Portugal and yes, we planned it together. You don’t mind, do you? Please say you don’t.”
The adrenalin was fading and the hurt I had felt for so long was coming back, I was fighting with my emotions, I struggled for what to say, weakly I managed, “No, I’m fine.” I turned to Helen, “Can we go now please?” She glanced at Dawn.
Dawn took my hand again, “Can I come with you, I want to talk, please don’t turn me away.”
Everybody was speaking for me today, because Helen took her hand, “Of course you’re coming with us.”
We hadn’t been back at Helen’s place very long when she said that she needed to pop out for a bit, she’d be only an hour or so, she gave us both a quick kiss and then she was gone.
I opened some wine and fetched dish of nuts. The silence seemed to stretch for ages, then we both started to speak at the same time.
Dawn said, “No, please let me speak first please, I have to get something off my chest.” She paused for thought, “I know now that I was wrong, I was selfish and thoughtless. I hurt you deeply, I know that. Romero and Helen have told me what you’ve been through, what I caused you to go through, the way you’ve been living and it’s all my fault, I’ve been so stupid. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m begging for you to try and forgive me, at least a little bit. Could you find it in your heart to give me another a chance, a bit of hope, anything at all? You see I love you so much, I’ve never stopped loving you and I’ve missed you so badly.”
I was again in turmoil, yes, of course, I wanted her back, I had always loved her and yet it was her leaving that so nearly destroyed me. Could I put myself back in a position where it could happen again? Would I ever trust her again? Would a part of me always be blaming her for what I went through?
“Dina, please speak to me, say something. I’ll leave now if it’s what you want, I won’t make a fuss but I want you to ask me to stay, see if we can work things out between us.” She put her hand on my arm
Slowly I raised my hand and covered hers, “You don’t have to leave, you’re Helen’s friend as well and it’s her home, not mine, I can’t ask you to leave.”
“It’s not what I’m asking, Dina, I asked whether you want me to leave, that’s very different.”
I didn’t want her to leave, I knew that but if I asked her to stay then what was I saying but before I had begun to think of how to answer, she leaned forward and kissed my lips, for a moment I nearly pushed her away as she persisted with the kiss, my heart melted and my arms went around her pulling her to me. A year of wanting, longing and heartache went into my returning kiss, her hand forced between us until it was on my breast and her fingers squeezed me hard. Fuck! I was lost!
The buttons of her shirt went flying as I ripped it from her, the bra catch did the same, then my mouth went from hers to her nipple, I groaned aloud as I took it in and sucked on her, she jumped as my teeth bit and pulled. She lay back as I pushed her down, her skirt now over her thighs with my hand forcing her legs apart. I took a quick glance up, her eyes were gleaming, a look of happiness on her face, “Dina, please I need you to fuck me.” when she saw me look.
She had once made me love her with an animalistic ferocity, now I did it willingly, there was nothing gentle or loving, just a need we both felt, pure sex, a release of built-up frustration. My lips found hers again, a bruising and passionate kiss, while my hand pulled the crotch of her panties aside, her clit was proud and ready for me, a moan forced from her lips as I rubbed and pulled. Her hands went under my top up, I felt her nails scratch across my back, then they dug deep when my fingers forced between the lips of her pussy. Her hips raised up to meet the thrust before she fucked them up and down on my fingers. I kept my thumb working hard at her clit.
“Oh my God, I’ve waited so long for this moment, Dina, I’m cumming.” Then she was shaking under my touch, the orgasm was total, it was devastating, it was a complete surrender.
I lay across her body, sweating from my exertions, she held me tight as she sobbed. After a while she took my face in her hands, our mouths almost touching, “Dina, I’m sorry, so very sorry for what I did to you, please will you forgive me?”
It only took a moment of thought, “Let’s go to bed, baby.” I pulled her up, she caught my arm and turned me to her then this time, very gently, she gave me a long kiss.
“I love you, Dina, please try and love me again, I don’t want anything else, if you wanted me to, I’d even leave the music business if that’s what it takes to get you back.”
“Dawn, I’ve never stopped loving you, that hasn’t been the issue, your leaving the way you did was the issue. I haven’t been with another girl since you left, not even one single date, all I ever wanted was us together as we were.”
“I haven’t been with anyone else either, I can’t understand what I was thinking when I left, honestly, I really don’t know what was on my mind, what I do know is that it was the worst mistake that I’ve ever made and I want the chance to put it right.”
She took the longest time to undress me than ever, she kissed me everywhere as she went, she spoke to my breasts, telling them how she had missed them. Her lips caressed my stomach, whispering all the time, when she lowered my panties and opened my legs, I heard her say hello to my lower lips, I could feel her fingers on me as she eased them apart. This time she didn’t speak, instead, she kissed my clit, over and over she kissed as it came out to greet her. Her lips closed over me as my hands clutched at her hair and I pulled her in.
I fell back onto the bed, pulling her with me, my legs going up around her neck to force her harder to me. My clit throbbed, my pussy tingled and my body ached for her touch.
At last, her fingers dived in and knew where to touch, knew what drove me crazy, I was in heaven, even if I hadn’t loved this girl for herself, then I would have loved her for the way she knew how to take me to that magic place.
My senses went into overdrive, I crushed her to me as I lifted my hips, driving my clit into her mouth, I didn’t usually make too much noise when I climaxed but this time the voice I heard screaming was mine, a whole year’s worth of pent-up emotion and sexual need exploded from me, I rode one orgasm after another like I’ve never done before, I didn’t want her to stop, I was begging her for more, to keep me on that roller coaster. Then I was begging her to stop, I couldn’t take anymore, I was totally and completely fucked, my body felt drained.
When I woke, Dawn was still kneeling on the floor, her head lying between my legs, I could feel her breath on my pussy, her arms were wrapped around my hips, fingers under my ass.
She was fast asleep, then I saw Helen sat in the chair her eyes staring at us, she had a glass of wine in her hand and a huge smile on her face, she saw me look, “You two look like you’ve had a good time, is everything cool, or is it a stupid question?”
“It’s cool, baby, I owe you. Come and help me lift Dawn will you.”
Dawn opened an eye, just briefly, and smiled as we moved her, then I held her in my arms. Shit! I was crying again.
It was a few days later when the postman rang to deliver a large box, it had the record company logo stamped on the front. We sat around the kitchen table as we opened it, not knowing what to expect. It was a box full of letters and cards tied up in two bundles, there was one large envelope on top.
It was addressed to Dawn and Dina, all it said was, your fan mail ladies and your new album Dawn.
She got up and put the cd in the player before returning to the box. Dawn passed the smaller of the bundles to me, I looked at her puzzled, “They’re addressed to you,” she said to me and so they were, my very own fan mail and that was something new. Okay, I’d had the odd pervy letter from some guy or other before but not a bundle of mail. Aside from one exception, where someone objected to me singing with their idol and thereby ruining her set, the rest were complimentary, some in more ways than one. I didn’t know what to make of it but I sure was pleased.
We hadn’t really been listening to the album, too engrossed were we with the mail, then Helen shushed us and made a grab for the cd case. She pressed ‘stop’ and read the track details from the back. The usual twelve tracks, then it said; Special bonus track - ‘Dawn and Dina live from Wembley Country Music Festival’.
She pressed play, it was the two of us singing together, I’d never heard a recording of myself singing before nor ever, us singing together, we’d talked about making a cd but never actually got to do anything about it.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, it was brilliant, somehow they’d even cleaned up my shaky start. I looked at Dawn and she had that silly grin on her face, “You knew, didn’t you?” She just nodded.
Then she took another letter from the envelope and handed it to me, her hand held mine for a moment, “Only if you want.” Was all she said.
The letter was inviting us both to come in and cut a few demo tracks together as a duo, no guarantees were made.
“Well, what do you think?” Dawn asked me.
I could feel my old self-confidence coming back, “Bring it on, let’s go for it, my lover.”
Dawn snatched my hand in hers, “Do you know, that’s the first time you’ve called me that since you got here, does that mean you’ve decided that you’ll take me back?”
“There’s one condition to that,” She looked worried but I went on, “Only if you’ll marry me.”
She now looked confused, her face rapidly changing expression, then her hands flew to her mouth, “Dina, oh my God, you’re asking me to be your wife, seriously, do you mean it?”
I held my arms out to her, “Would I joke about something like that? So what do you think?”
She flew into my arms, “Oh yes please, oh Dina, I’m so happy.”
If you read Part 2 in this series, then you’ll understand why the next cd was called ‘Dawn and Dina, Double Dynamite’.