| 2019-11-25 04:40:41 |
Camping with the Johnsons PT1
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well written, seemed rushed, lot of holes in the back story, needs fleshing out, dont be in such a hurry to get to the sex, readers will follow relentlessly 'cause they know what is coming. |
| 2019-11-25 05:16:55 |
Three is not a crowd_(2)
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well paced, like the story premise, but your a guy trying to write as a woman and it isn't working in my book, the last stroker I read of yours had the comments turned off, supposedly written from perspective of a mother watching her twin sons fucking their sister, same situation,,maybe you should write from a guys view. |
| 2019-12-02 05:34:49 |
A twisted game - part 5
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well written, not much depth, its ok for a stroker, certainly needs to be fleshed out with more emotion. possibly the parents do the kids themselves to keep them apart. |
| 2020-06-18 03:38:31 |
In The Family (Part 5)_(1)
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love it, well paced..well written, more like this please. |
| 2020-06-18 04:31:45 |
Mother & Virgin Son--Part 1 of 3
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excellent brginning,,,well written, well paced,,good tension. |