| 2005-04-17 08:36:21 |
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How u gonna give grammer comments on a sex story, yeah u need to get a new hobby that doesnt involve jacking off to storys and correcting their grammer. Weirdo |
| 2005-04-19 18:47:50 |
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I write the way i talk its invernacular language if i wrote Char and I all teh time its sounds unnatural when you read it out loud and i dont write as a profession becuase it was always a weak point in school and the constant ands i knwo you can do that cuz i have read it in novels so stop with teh grammer im sick of it i mean misspelling are fine and choice of words sometimes but grammer is if your a prim adn proper american that shouodltn read sex sotires |
| 2006-03-24 12:29:06 |
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First of all the whole cave thing is highly unlikely and the grammer sucked.You need to build the plot better.Also they don't play bagpipes an st,patricks day cause Bagpipes r scotish |
| 2006-12-11 00:20:15 |
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this was absolutely fucking AWEFUL |
| 2005-04-07 05:37:37 |
How I Passed
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Good work. Needs more detail. The seduction line is excellent. Could follow this story line again and expound on the continuing saga! |