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Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2005-08-10 21:16:12 | The blind date from hell | This story is a little odd... But you said it was your first so I'll try and explain what I think could be improved for next time. First off, you need to proofread your works. There are a few typos/spelling mistakes in there and it is distracting. As for the story itself, I don't really get the premise. But anyway. I find Allison goes from pain to pleasure too quickly. One line she's in agony, the next she is ecstasy. There isn't enough discriptions, either. This story didn't excite me at all, I think because you just skip from one thing to the next. "He did this, then he did that, then she did that"... Next time, pick one thing and write more descriptions, what he and she are thinking/feeling... Not just a point-by-point description. The champagne thing was weird. |
| 2005-08-11 08:57:59 | The blind date from hell | The champagne thing was weird and possible DEADLY[1], so don't anybody even think of trying something like that. [1] -- Air and/or gas can possible enter the blood stream in gas form through the uterus(cunt) and kill a person. Durning the late '60 a few "dumb" females died when they doused themselves with "soda water". |
| 2005-08-11 15:23:36 | The blind date from hell | I loved the story wish it woulda been longer good job with the story and keep up your imagination!! |
| 2005-08-12 03:23:13 | The blind date from hell | I found this story very hard to read. In many places it made little sense. What was the point? If you like this kind of action, ok, but no need to share! |
| 2005-08-13 09:15:03 | The blind date from hell | You need help, both with your mind and with your writing. |