| 2005-08-30 14:24:39 |
Early birthday present
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Well, your a bad author, make it a bit longer? Good story, just needs to be longer.. hi, fuck, end???? nah, make more of astory.! I give you a 4/10 |
| 2005-09-16 01:12:27 |
Early birthday present
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The readers are being too hard on you. In real live, a young girl still 13 having her first fuck with a horny father would more than likely be a more simple affair . It would have been less believable if she sucked his cock, let him cum all over her face and body, sat on his face and have him fuck her up the ass. Yea, that makes good reading but your story is more realistic. |
| 2005-09-17 20:54:56 |
Early birthday present
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good story, In my opinion it could have been a little longer, but it was at the very least believable. Like it felt good I agree that it was more believable than most first time stories... 7/10 |
| 2005-09-26 23:11:23 |
Early birthday present
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What are BREATS? Do you mean BREASTS? You shud lern how to spell. |
| 2005-10-20 01:36:43 |
Early birthday present
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it is short needs to be editind u dumb fuck |