| 2005-09-12 11:21:19 |
Brother Doctor
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You switch point of view in the middle of the story and never get back into the brothers head, we are left wondering what he was thinking. It is obviously not a true story guys, lighten up. There are so many holes in this story you could lay it on top of a decent story and still read through it. No 18 year old would be that naive, why would she go to her brother? she is an adult, she could go to any Dr., besides, a 28 year old dr. having an office to himself, puh-leeze. Also, I think the old "it will only hurt for a minute then there will be nothing but pleasure" cliche has been pretty well worn out. Yeah, for him maybe, if he doesn't mind the blood. Crap, utter crap. Sorry dude, the ability to put sentences in order does not make one a writer. Try again. |