| 2004-07-12 18:12:17 |
Still no Towel
|
not bad. happened a little too quick. needs to be expanded a little |
| 2004-08-23 14:35:01 |
Still no Towel
|
too fake ... like that would ever happen ... no detail ... ends abruptly |
| 2004-11-07 14:13:03 |
Still no Towel
|
neeeds to be longer, the mom part is too unrealistic |
| 2005-04-26 04:32:51 |
Still no Towel
|
not long enough 2/10 |
| 2005-06-11 07:19:33 |
Still no Towel
|
Why were you in a hurry to tell the story. A Mom would not tell a teen boy to wash his naked teen sister's hair. From there on it was a very dull story with no excitement expressed. Rewrite it. |