| 2006-02-15 22:31:12 |
A Hellish Paradise
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dude learn to spell and how to use grammer. i know most stories have mistakes but yours overdes it |
| 2006-02-16 00:35:25 |
A Hellish Paradise
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it wuz all over the place, it kinda reminded me of into the blue exept not as hot |
| 2006-07-07 05:30:40 |
A Hellish Paradise
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this story made me cry :,( |
| 2007-01-31 01:21:46 |
A Hellish Paradise
|
intruiging... you have many names for the female genitalia... and anal region... as a published author myself, i must say that this story has good content and you depict the brutality well... however i must agree with some of the readers to a degree. you would benefit from a proofreader. please do not take this offensively. some of the stories on this site have bored me ot the point of closing down my computer and going to bed. i read this completely. i would encourage you to continue writing. you have a talent for it. you just need a proof reader. many people do. i do. excellent work! keep it up! |
| 2008-03-04 08:00:41 |
A Hellish Paradise
|
ew... |