| 2006-03-02 13:02:00 |
The anniversary ...
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You asked for it. Write your story in word then copy/paste it here. The grammer, spelling, and structure are done for you. You moved way too fast. there was no lead up, no anticipation, just wham schoolgirl and a whip. 5'8", 120, D-cup, blue eyes. . .thats not a description, thats the back of a basebal card. Make us see the people, freckles, tattoos, glasses, distinguish the charectors. Put us in the setting. What did they eat, was there any conversation at dinner? Then there was the sex. It did not turn me on, it read like assembly instructions. Insert lollipop into mouth. Rub nipples. Describe girl. Add guy. Insert whip. etc. Tahlia, writing is hard work. It takes four minutes for a penis to become erect, it should take longer to write a story. Keep trying. |