| 2006-04-01 04:15:13 |
Pay back is a bitch
|
If this story doesn't confuse the reader then I must be overly critical. The context is ok but it left me with half a hard-on. I hope you like sucking cock as much as this broad does, or is this you replaying your life for our pleasure? 7/10 |
| 2006-04-01 12:22:27 |
Pay back is a bitch
|
complete crap! |
| 2006-04-02 03:06:52 |
Pay back is a bitch
|
G-R-A-M-M-A-R, retard |
| 2006-07-18 15:46:17 |
Pay back is a bitch
|
I think your introductory story is kind of "Good" to be honest with you; aside from a few grammatical flaws it is "Good". After all you are telling a story, and the readers who criticize your writing skills aren't very skillful at reading between the lines. I encourage you to continue with your story and not let others deter you. dw |
| 2006-08-13 08:14:50 |
Pay back is a bitch
|
yep, plot is good rendition needs polishing,perhaps you might like to get someone to edit your next one to make the story easier to read, give you 9 for effort. |