| 2006-04-17 22:03:47 |
How Do I Get into These Things
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I think it's very good! You just really need to add more detail and variety. When I first saw the "how many dicks can she take" part, i thought that there would be double vaginal or double anal penetration, but there was no DP at all! Maybe you could give your characters names and personalities so we can tell who's who during the gangbang. Don't worry about that negative comment, you have real potential as a writer. Be sure to keep your characters consistent.. you said the main character was terrified, but she "guzzled his cock like no tommorow".. good job, just keep working! |