| 2006-11-17 00:24:24 |
Weekend with the Older Girl Next Door
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Too hastily made. One must remember wrinting a sex story needs extra care, because you should arouse the readers orgy through your porn-sence & timing. |
| 2006-11-17 06:15:13 |
Weekend with the Older Girl Next Door
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A 12-year-old boy fucking for 5 solid minutes and then shooting a huge load????? Dream on. What in the hell is wrong with you people who write this crap? A 12-year-old isn't going to fuck anybody for 5 minutes and shoot a big load. He's 12, not 16 or 17 when that would actually be possible. For Christ's sake, make these kids a little older. It won't ruin the story. |
| 2006-11-17 11:08:25 |
Weekend with the Older Girl Next Door
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why did you help her with the dishes? |
| 2006-11-18 15:20:28 |
Weekend with the Older Girl Next Door
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not a bad first effort but listen to the advice given here and strecth the next story out a bit and add more details |
| 2006-11-18 18:48:37 |
Weekend with the Older Girl Next Door
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So she was "twenty-seven, brunette, with a washboard stomach, round C-cup tits, a perfect tight ass and beautiful legs to die for"? And she wants to fuck around with a 12-year-old? yeah right. What a crock of shit. |