| 2007-03-06 11:16:36 |
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A tip? Well see, although you might not think it may be so important, try using the right grammar, you have a few typos. More importantly, you need to describe your characters with more detail, tell the sexual actions in a detailed manner or at least make the sex longer.
Lol ok I think I wrote enough :) |
| 2007-03-06 12:55:36 |
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try to put some realism in it and use spell check if you need to. give us one more story. |
| 2007-03-06 15:14:46 |
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Good story..........I guess I'll have to tell y'all bout Helen and her Mom while they were livin with me and pa |
| 2007-03-06 16:32:48 |
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u guys r tough i believe it cause it happen to me it rocks |
| 2007-03-06 18:17:25 |
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lol whoever posted that last one, I'd like to see you write a story worth shit. I thought it was pretty good. Just use the spellcheck |