| 2007-04-08 00:14:57 |
KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY_(1)
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OUCH! Holy Shit. I hit the wall of text. |
| 2007-04-08 02:37:32 |
KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY_(1)
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fucking awesome just make some basic grammer and puncuation fixes and use a thing call indenting and paragraphas and it would be ten times better |
| 2007-04-08 04:03:19 |
KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY_(1)
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Good story, but put in some fucking paragraphs. |
| 2007-04-08 10:12:45 |
KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY_(1)
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Great story. Would have been better using some paragraghs. I would rewrite it. You have a winner here. |
| 2007-07-09 10:29:31 |
KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY_(1)
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Too long it died some way down the first half, |