| 2007-04-09 16:47:45 |
Convent lust to Alien rescue
|
Changing tenses are a bit of a problem at the beginning. Clitoris "shaft?" You need some lessons in the way female anatomy actually works. (lol) Possessives use 's not just s (Ruby's). But these are all nitpicks. Good story 9 of 10. |
| 2007-04-09 18:39:39 |
Convent lust to Alien rescue
|
wow unusual but very hot 10/10 |
| 2007-04-09 22:54:48 |
Convent lust to Alien rescue
|
Smaller paragraphs please >.> |
| 2007-04-10 18:09:45 |
Convent lust to Alien rescue
|
wow that was realli good. unusual but good more plz |
| 2007-04-17 03:23:00 |
Convent lust to Alien rescue
|
I liked the story, I gave it a 10/10. Keep wrighting. |