sexstories.com
Comments from READER
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2007-08-16 11:08:33 | mom takes a ride_(0) | I can't wait for you to unzip her dress, remove her bra and play with her nipples! |
| 2007-08-16 12:56:06 | mom takes a ride_(0) | Great story! keep on writing, have Rick fucked his mother up the ass and deep in her throat next time. Have mother and son eating and sucking each other and drinking each other's cum. 10/10 |
| 2007-08-16 13:49:01 | mom takes a ride_(0) | The problem with the typical writer of a sex story is that they are good with some areas and bad with others, especially in your situation. I'm not complaining, it was a decent story compared to some I've read on this site, but here's my criticism... You worked really well with the foreplay while they were driving, that got me into the story pretty well, but even then you needed a bit more detail on who everybody was , where they were, what they were doing, and so on. Once they got home, though, you made things go too quickly. In reality there is a good chance that they couldn't even look at each other for a few days, but there is the chance the mood would be SO strong the only chance of a continuance immediately, making this perfectly acceptable. What you rushed was the details. The foreplay was at least twice as long as the actual sexual activity. The sex lasted a matter of a few brief paragraphs, and the fingering was even weaker. Overall, you did a good job, but you need to work on the detail to make the readers feel more passion and lust from your characters, as though they themselves are the ones in the story. The point to a sex story is to turn people on, and the one reason Pornography fails so easily is it just isn't real. The have a successful story you need to make it believable, even if the storyline is abstract and bizarre in a setting that would almost never take place. There is always a way to convince the reader that it could really happen, even to them. It's all about the feel and atmosphere. Overall... good work. |
| 2007-08-17 11:57:27 | mom takes a ride_(0) | to bad he stole it from the other site |
| 2007-08-18 08:15:27 | mom takes a ride_(0) | i |